saturday-- in the park - i don't remember the rest of the words- :))

It’s been hard to find time to post, much less energy—or subjects – to write anything other than negative whiney crap.
I know i’m known on here for the little crybaby pics, and can make my crybaby posts be ok – or, well, not so bad, sometimes. But lately - I really - really am a crybaby, and I just can’t be a crybaby without any sympathy.
crap. I don’t think that came out right. You know what I mean though. Don’t you?
I think I mean.. I shouldn’t be a crybaby, if it’s not my own crybaby attack.
Or else it just won’t “flow” right. How can I have a crybaby attack when it’s not my own pity party--- that’s how I meant it. I think. Oh hell. I don’t know. regardless... mine or not-- cry baby or just a baby-- doesn't matter... i'm sure no "tough guy" lately.



Anyhow -
I saw a movie the other day and the dad was a “hard-ass” in it—or really, more like an asshole.. but his line he fed his son all the time was :
“no sympathy for losers”.

I tell ya—I sure have been feelin like a loser lately. In more ways than one. Like I have failed in a major way. That I have done something that I cannot fix or change. And that I have done this to another person too. That they will or do feel the same way.
That I am, and have made this person – well, feel unfixable, unchangeable--- broken.



How do you come back from that? How do you bring the two of you back from that?

Major mistakes have been made while trying. On both sides. Pain is caused to and by both while trying. Yet ya keep on struggling through, and over and under the obstacles and you face the demons, and fight the battles. You defend, you attack, you bleed you heal, you protect, you hurt. You make things better, and you make things worse. But eventually you turn your wounded self around , not unscathed, and realize just how far you and your little Army have come as you fought against, and with each other , and although the war won’t be quite over for years to come, the worst of many battles with harsh reality of life, has been won.



don't waste your time doin the quiz here

just scroll to "submit" and click and it will take you to the regular quiz then just take it there. sorry. pain in the ass i know. i should just delete this, but it's kinda fun. so i won't. well, maybe i'm just easy to please. but anyhow-- movin on --





***afternote-- i can't get this right-- i tried to post my results= it keeps posting the quiz... wth?? anyhow i'm a "frustrated soul"
if you take the quiz-- lemmee know what your says eh?
sorry i'm computer illiterate at times.)

(see how UN-foused i am?)
i was gonna put a pic or two in the post and came across a quiz!. but geesh, how could i NOT share a SOUL- quiz???? come on peeps, what kind of soul do YOU have? come back and tell me k?

so anyhow, what else?
not much really. i'm still not at liberty to spill my guts about about all the drama around here these passed few months. but i do hope it is at its peak and will level out and at least just stay at a steady pace at this point. without any more surprises. and when i say surprises, i'm not talkin about, roses, and chocolate peeps. its more like, panic attacks to bronchitis and depression. fun shit i say.

so there ya have it----
my recent passed (past ? )
in a nut case !

i miss y'all...
and i'll be baaaack ,
next time i set my alarm on a day i don't need to :))


ALOT

better than nothin?

no, i didn't have to hunt this one down. it's been on my playlist for a long time. just figured now would be a good time to post it, since i have nothin to say.
well.. except-- that for those who don't know-- i did attempt to catch up a little last night with some of y'all.. and actually fell asleep-- somewhere. i don't remember where-- but one of you does, :)-

so ya--- happy saturday folks--
i know y'all aren't stupid people. so yep-- i have some heavy shit goin down here on the homefront. and i can't discuss it here with you. there was a time that i would have freely blabbed it all over the place. but i have learned along this road of blogging, that what i don't own.. i can't give away.

but i do love and miss you all.. and one of these days, i will get my shit together and hopefully be back on the bloggin trail. i miss it-- i miss y'all. but i literally am either busy, gone, or exhausted... and when or if i do make it into these pages-- i'm more often than not-- on one type of med or another-- if not pain.. anxiety---or sleep. so forgive me if i have been an ass anywhere.

til next time..
be happy-

here's somethin new to look at

i caught you a delicious bass

ten a those--
and of course

the one that got away.

you wouldn't know it -- but y'all are on my mind every-day !!!
hope all is good with you in your worlds !

monday mumbles

lately THIS is me-

thinking about everything-- EXCEPT
what matters-
and so much so- it just makes my head hurt-

a week or so ago , i was ready to run away from home. again.
i felt like i had no other option to preserve my sanity.
or, what was left of it.
then someone that i love, more than anyone on this earth found themself in a crisis.
or six.
and i realized, that i could not leave that person.
or if i even tried, it would only make me go crazy.
and possibly them as well.

then i saw this pic- or quote-
and really-
it confirmed it.

and i realized, i couldn't ever leave this person. or their problems.
i couldn't pretend that what was happening wasn't happening.
because it was happening. and it was so very "in your face."
i couldn't run, i couldn't hide, and i had no idea how to fix it.
so i did the next best best thing.
i tried.
me and soulman did all that we knew how to do,
and we tried to fix the problem.
did we fix it?
who knows.
it's still in process.
it's no quick fix, that's for sure.
this one will most definitely take some time .
but we do have a foot in the door.
and i have a feeling that it's the right door.

at least i hope so.
well, WE hope so.

i know y'all love it when i go cryptic on ya.
i hope it's better than nothing at all tho.

well peeps-- i need to get going...
i'll be around later on...
sometime.

i hope y'all are are doin well in your worlds.

just sayin hi

hi peoples

sorry i haven't been around much lately. a lot has been goin on here, and i just haven't had time, or brain power to spend blogging. i have tried a few times, it just didn't work out. i'd try to post and end up deleting it after a two hours because it would make no sense. or i would spend time looking for pix to put up- and by the time i found any i liked i would be too exhausted to continue.
and those were the times i had time to try to post. other times i'd been gone, or sleeping, or just tryin to make it through the day.it really has been hell week.

and i guess without runnin around in circles, sayin nuthin, i guess that's all i can say right now.

i just can't say much about this stuff right now.

talk to y'all later--

shechokee she chokee=}

(IT'S ACTUALLY MONDAY SEPT- 8TH )

Hiya folks---

It’s still Sunday, -- well, it was when i wrote this-- but it's monday a.m. now- 5:35, to be exact. but I felt like writin. i Just didn't want to overtake soulmans’ post day. Looks like picking a weekend day was a bad idea. Weekends are always slow in blogland. I’m not too sure about you folks, but I was either gone, or asleep out here most of the entire weekend.

* side note- (seein as it is now monday, and not sunday-- when i say yesterday-- that would be saturday-- and of course today would be sunday... i spose if i get to a point that i acually speak of today--as in monday-- i'll just have to say monday.)

Yesterday I fished, slept, watched tv, and slept some more. i bet you wish you had my life?

And today was much of the same.

Except today I fished longer, got hotter, caught more fish, and slept less.

but you know-- nuthin good happened in the way of fishin, before a few "soul moments"

such as :

that's my finger-- literally stuck between the handle and the reel. for a while i wasn't sure i was gettin out of that--without callin hubby to come rescue

me. but , after several minutes of pain and perseverance , i prevailed-and escaped. it's cuz i'm me you know. stuff like that only happens to me, and y'all know it. :))

and yesterday-- wanna see yesterdays catch-o'-the-day?

this was actually off of two different casts--

the black thing? a six foot "zip up bag" of some type- has a handle- says pugg (somethin) on it-

ugh--- and a big ole branch- covered with moss and fishin line-- AND one of MY fishin rigs-- a hook, rotted plastic tube bait, tungstun weight, and glass bead.

yep- i saved the weight and bead--and kept the bag-

no idea what i'll do with the bag yet.

so friggin fun.

And today I actually got a nice fish.

this guy should be dedicated to jamie--perhaps i'll break my code of fishermans' honor, and package a few for her to grill up on one of her nicer days out there.

yes jamie, i'll clean em first :))

I haven’t pulled one like that outta the pond since it got hot out here. Well, not counting when they were hittin on jigs for a while. But then they just shut down for the longest time.

Except for the tiny little bastards. Soulman would catch some decent ones but I was just getting like six inch things. I was startin to get pissed. Well, today I just skipped over “my spot”, and traveled down to the opposite end where I almost never ever fish anymore, and I started catchin em once I moved away from the plastics and jigs, and used crankbaits and spinnerbaits—and voila.

this was the first for the day,

i was afraid they would all be like him, but out of three,

there were only two like that. :))

I don’t know what their deal is, but they decided they want crankbaits now. And that’s what I got all my fish for the last two days or three days on.. the same crankbait. I’m gonna cry when I lose it somewhere. I stole it from soulman on Friday – I guess. Hell maybe it was Saturday—had to be friday morning. When I got my first fish on it.

(which would be this wimpy guy)

it was brand new outta the package—when we started, but —after 2 fish— when we left-

I told soulman he had to get himself a new one, cuz this crankbait was now mine:))

and he let me keep it.

this, is a fish catchin machine !

Raine-- go getcha one-- :))

--hmmm, well, I think I’m mental.. I don’t know what day it was, but it wasn’t Saturday with soulman… I went alone on Saturday and today, so maybe it was friday morning before he went to work?

—but it doesn’t matter really. Does it? I can go mental alone right?

So anyhow—here’s some pix, for your viewing pleasure :))

And that my friends, is my weekend…

Oh—cept for these—this was Friday—after school---

Me and soulkid—she had to take some pictures for her photo journalism class, so we went to do that and here’s a few we took that day--

So, anyhow---

I just got all kindsa distracted because I went and cruised blogland for the last hour or so. Yes, spur of the moment like that. It happens sometimes. I seriously think something is wrong with my brain at times. I have no focus at all anymore. But that’s alright I reckon. At least that’s what everyone says. So whatever. I’ll just go with it. I don’t care anymore.

Do you—or y’all or whoever—realize, that in half a day—this day—half of it—i—by myself—without sharing—have managed to consume half—ok—more than half, of a package of frickin banana split oreos. That is just nothing short of wrong. Not to mention sickening. Seriously.. sickening. Gut wrenching, gag me , sickening. I don’t like sweet stuff. Yet lately I’m on some sort of sugar “something”. I eat it all the time . and lots of it. like for three or four days. Candy, donuts, oreos. WTF is up with that.? I bet I’ve gained five or ten pounds. It’s insane. I’m a fruit and veggie, and meat gal. unsweet tea, water, black coffee, that kinda thing. Occasionally I do the peanut butter m&m craving thing. I have gone completely overboard lately. If it was a drug, someone woulda locked me up by now. Crazy. If my pants zip tomorrow, I’ll be surprised . if they don’t, I’ll cry. But either way—I must stop with the sugar. Lest I explode.

Speaking of tomorrow--- it’s the beginning of a brand new week. I wonder what that means. I know that for some—in the soul crib—it could mean a lot. But I have no idea what that is, or could be, and I won’t, until Tuesday afternoon. It’s been over a week that I have had this feeling of not having control . it’s not good either. I feel like I don’t have control of what will happen, I don’t have any idea of what may happen, and the control I should have of what should happen.. doesn’t happen, so even there, I have no control. So? How do I handle my lack of control??? I don’t. That’s how.

I simply gave up on even trying. I did try. Til about maybe Saturday. Then I threw in the towel. And gave the hell up. To who? I do not know. The control gods I reckon. They can have it. they can have it all. and they can get back to me. They can just send me a fuckin memo. Cuz I’m done worryin about it. and everything else.

Al I do is worry about it, and sleep. Or try to sleep. Or sit and stare at the walls. Or my list. Sleep, write, worry, think. Repeat.

So. Anyhow. There ya go.

here comes Souls' head, in a box.

SATURDAY WITH SOULMAN (updated by soulman w/ answers)

arighttteee then----

saturday with soulman---
a day late--

Okay, so here goes… A look into my feeble mind. I am sure a lot of questions will be answered like the typical male. However I do think differently than some of my friends and also probably have some twisted ideals on why us men do the things we do. I will try to be as honest as possible and hopefully have some fun with us. My disclaimer is that it be fun and I do not want to get serious. I mean we all have different thoughts and ideals and I consider myself a strange individual at times. Heck if needed I can ask a group of guys at work to answer some simple questions to as we laugh at how nutty women are… haha just kidding.

From brad:

Where did you first meet Soul and what was your first impression?

This is easy, I met Soul in 1991 on a little island in the middle of the Indian Ocean called Diego Garcia also known as the footprint of freedom. Diego Garcia is owned by the British and it was a really beautiful place to be. However some considered it isolated duty because of its location in the middle of nowhere.

I had seen Soul a few places on the island and at work. I did not actually meet her until she was assigned to our work area. She repaired Jet Engines/parts and I repaired Structural aircraft parts. I think the first time I really talked to her she was painting a door. I just remember thinking she was cute and we started talking more at work and such. She helped me at work on different things and I helped her on a few things. We talked about different things in conversation. One thing lead to another and we ended up going out on a date of sorts… Guess who forgot their wallet??? Yup I did, our first date and I forgot my wallet and had to ask her to pay. Other than that I knew from just a few conversations that I really liked her. In fact it did not take long before I was in love with her. We just got along well and she was so easy for me to talk to. When she left the island quite a few months before me I was heartbroken but luckily we kept in touch and well… the rest is history and here we are some 17 years later.

From smocha:

In a couple days my spouse will be traveling about 4 or 5 hours to a town called Norwich.

He will be riding there with a few other guys . All of them are going there to evaluate some data center.

All excited, I said "ohh bring the camera!"

"They won't let me take pictures in there."

"Um, not the dumb data center, I mean on the way there. Who knows what you'll see."

His reply....."I am NOT looking like some stupid tourist in front of those guys!."

“Ok, here's my question. What is he thinking? What is the big deal, if a guy takes some pictures for his wife??”

Well, I know exactly how he feels. Guys feel foolish taking pictures unless they are around someone else taking pictures. Especially if the entire group is men.

I think in this case it is even weirder or goofier because he will be around people he is going to work with. Basically this is a business trip and if he starts taking pictures then they may think he is not here for business he is just here for a European vacation of sorts. We would not mind possibly if we were by ourselves but in a group of guys the camera will stay in the case. Around a group of guys at work it will never come out of the case. Work is work and cameras are not allowed.

Another take on this is that from young boys we are taught to act like we own the place or not be overly excited about new places because in some crazy way it is a form of weakness. So no offense Brad but this would be considered Gay.

From Mary:

Why do men stand side-by-side when talking instead of facing each other? I watch guys do this and it puzzles me.

Ahhh… haha see this is a simple case of women being to observant… A guy would not even notice this and I do not myself. But I think you are correct. Why do I want to look at my buddy or coworker while we are talking haha.

I think we are programmed from an early age to do this. Always walking somewhere and talking along the way, at work and at play we are normally walking as we go. I know at work I am always walking to go get things when talking so we are normally side by side walking and talking. If I go to a football game we are always walking along to get into the game so walking and talking side by side. At the football game we are sitting next to each other during the game and talking side by side. Fishing as a boy with my brother we sat side by side fishing and talking. Heck even if I think back to my younger years hunting with my Dad we sat side by side looking for deer so we are programmed this way.

Also, think back to the early days of man, hunting with the tribe… you can not be a hunter and provide for the tribe if you are facing fellow hunters. Into the 1900s with all the world war etc. We are programmed to be on watch sitting in a trench in World War II side by side watching for the bad guys to come shoot us.

Yes I believe it is ingrained upon us at an early age.

From Cheryl:

Question for Soulman: Don't you ever eat the fish you catch?

This is a sympathy question isn’t it? haha Well actually it depends on what type of fish it is.

Fish I have caught and eaten are as follows.

Crappie, Walleye, Trout, Salmon, Catfish, and White Bass (I do not like the flavor of white bass so I always let hem go now). I have also caught and eaten Wahoo and Tuna and Mahi-Mahi.

I do not eat any type of the green version of Bass. Black Bass, Smallmouth Bass and Spotted Bass always go back to the lake.

did y'all get lost today??

cuz today was saturday with soulman day... and brad was the only one who showed up with a question... THANKS Brad ! whatta guy. souman wil, btw, answer your question. just decided to wait a while to see if any more questions rolled in, and guess what-- they didn't. :((
i told smocha that i deleted her email that asked a question, but she didn't resend it. sooo. hmmm. et's wait til tomorrow. if no more come in, soulman will answer yours. and i spose we'll call this litte game a flop eh?

hmm... anyhow--- my L key seems to be stickin.. and i'm not likin that too much.

other than that-- guess what i noticed ??? my a.m. post today? .. it was my 500 TH post. wow. that is a ot of frickin writin. otsa words. lotsa stuff in general i spose eh?

i wonder how many i would have if i dind't delete the other ones. i don't remember how many i dumped -- it was in the 300's or 500's tho. i'm stil sick about that. but oh wel.

anyhow my L key (it took 3 tries to make that work) stickin is pissin me off -- so i think i am goin now.

hubby got the UFC fight tonight but i think i'm gonna pass and go to bed.. just cuz i'm so damn fun that way.

out here in "soulland"

g'night peeps

a pinch of this a dash of that

guten morgen peoples--

here i am..
how are you--

i've been sittin here for a couple hours, doin nuthin really. or at least nuthin productive. i paid a couple bills, and i looked for a video that i wanted to post here-- apparently it doesn't exist. i found the lyrics, and i found the song-- but that just isn't the same, so - oh well. i just won't won't put it up. unless someday i decide to put the music to my own slide show someday. and actually, that doesn't sound like such a bad idea right now. i'm sure i have-- or could take , plenty of fitting photos for this particular song.

sooo, anyhow- today is saturday-- so if anyone has their questions ready-- or plan to send any for soulman-- get em in. he hasn't mentioned a deadline time-- and of course today is a day off, and he is asleep-- so i'm sure he'll be fine with a evening answer post for the questions. so, just try to get em in giving him time to get to a couple here and there, and not all at once--- k?

this oughtta be fun. i've been lookin forward to this all week.

speaking of all week-- we had also been looking forward to getting away this weekend-- to our timeshare-- but not "ours".. another "sales pitch BS thing. but we had the damn place confused with one that was close to ours-- which is only like an hour or so from here. well when hubby confirmed the reservations on thursday-- he was told it was one down by fricking Houston !!
when he told me that-- i was like -- oh hellno.
i refuse to drive that far. he said they'll charge 50 bucks to cancel. i said -- it'll cost more than twice that to go, and feel like hell. he agreed and canceled
-- and i don't think we're gettin charged. at least he said they didn't mention it.


OMG... i have a FLY that must be huge-- buzzing around my friggin head every three or four minutes.. i can't see it or catch it--and it is killin me. yes, only one-- not an infestation this time. no more rats in the attic. thank God.

i am so ready to move outta this house. but-- looks like we are too immature to have credit. instead of being grown ups with our improved credit status-- we screwed ourselves... and every month.. our score is lower-- and lower....UGH... *TEAR*
i'm tellin ya -- i need an accountant-- i do my best-- i just just don't put it where it should go i guess. the savings account is obviously not secure enough-- nor are the credit cards.
so -- tell me-- where's the next best place to put money to make it matter when it comes to raising a credit score-- cuz those two places are just too easy to dip back into when you are money addicts like we are.

soooo-- anyhow-- i don't mean to be neglecting y'all..again.
i do try to keep up in my comment box here-- i know it's not enough-- but really. my mind is in overload-- and the majority of the time-- it's actually stalled out.
poor already not right mind o' mind-- is being torn in literally ten different directions at the same time.. and i am havin a real hard time dealin with that-- so-- if you've noticed-- i'm sort of trying not to lately. in a way it's ok like that.
but it would be better--- if GUILT would leave me alone.
cuz i kinda was raised to believe that I come last.
and even though, i do have people telling me to just take care of myself, and not to worry about so much, and so many--
i still feel i have to. and i am not allowed to take care of ME.
there's always something i should be doing, always somewhere i need to be .
or should be. or even want to be.. but i "can't-- without struggling.
and i really hate it to be that way.
for me, and y'all, and my kid, and my husband, and everyone else who gives a damn.

there's so much goin on out here, that so few of you know about. that i know some of this is hard for you to grasp. just know that if it was "mine" to talk about-- i'd be more than happy to unload it, and move on... but 99 % of it -- isn't mine to share. and it's that 99 % that gets heavier and heavier by the day.

am i loyal?
or am i stupid?


whatever i am...

i think i'm goin fishin.
when i get back.. i shall clean my ratty ass up-and get a haircut--
when i return from that--
i hope i will have some soulman questions to forward to him to get goin on...
and i shall cruise and catch up with some peeps...
and then...
if i'm not exhausted and nap worthy--
i just might clean my kitchen--
haha, ya, i know .. :))

happy weekend everyone...

don't give up on me--
i'll be me again someday-- can't say i haven't been tryin. can ya??
i do try-- it just seems once i get to the point of being close to caught up--- somethin else kicks me in the teeth. ugh.

anyhow--
i hope you all have happy days in your worlds today
:))

thinkless thursday

(poorly edited)


well, looks like even when i got nuthin to say-- there's somethin to say. eventually.
but-- at this point-- i actually don't have the time i thought i was gonna have to say it in.

yep, just a few minutes ago--- i looked like this---


oh great-- now my pix don't wanna upload. dammit-- and like i said-- i don't have much time for this post--

so i shall add the pics later-- ugh.

anyhow-- that is if this thing works at all-- or if it doesn't decide to let me post em, before i'm done and do end up with time--

anyhow--

real quick...

you'd think, after a couple days without posting, i would have somethin to say-- well i don't-- or should i say-- i didn't. so i was sittin here, tryin to think, hmmm, what can i talk about--

so my mind wanders---as you know-- my mind wanders constantly anyways.
i think--
hmmm... for some reason... i thought of a few times i have been ripped off-- and some of the larger items, that i sometimes still think of today, or use as examples, or tell stories about when the conversation arises, you get the idea. anyhow-- yep-- i was gonna mention how---
"can't have nuthin"

but-- didn't get that far-- til now-- but my photos won't upload-- hmmm.

i think it was the white car

but this awful color

not my bin
but we had thousands in fishing gear stolen
and mostly only rods and reels recovered
we were happy for that
but still lost thousands of dollars :((

so then .. i was also gonna tell you about a couple food cravings i been havin lately-- one, i fulfilled-- but very disappointingly so-- last night.
it was fried okra--- BUT it was from a fast food joint-- UGH
it was disgusting.

i reallllllllly was imagining my aunts okra from arkansas-- that's the best shit ever-- and i can't cook it like that. i just wanted it to be that way-- and when i got what i got i just wanted to puke... but i ate it-- and really -- it was awful.




the other craving?
donuts. yes again. and still i sit here unsatisfied.
soul must get a donut. asap-
i have a pic-- but it may have to added later.

there it is.
kinda cute eh?

in fact i know it will-- i really need to dressed and actually be driving right now-- but am i ?
obviously not.
and why???
well that would be because
my darling soul-kid missed the school bus-- and just as i began to post--- she walked in the door with a
"please don't kick my ass" look on her face.
sooo-- we all know what this means -- right?

no-- i didn't kick her ass...

but i sure didwant to, -- but did not-- say :


yep i need to get her butt to school before she's late-- this school doesn't mess around with "tardies"
what a stupid word. i have always hated that word....even when i was in school
it's just stupid.

so anyhow
i must go

i guess i have to polish this post up a bit on my return , cuz i have other crap to do, that i may as well get a start on while i'm out. after all--- at least half the crap should be fisnished already :



happy days to y'all

off i go ...

some random crap o' the day

happy un-holiday to you----

it's kind of a holiday to me today. even though i have a lot of crap i need to do today. such as all the chores around the house i neglected over the weekend-- due to some unexpected -- well, for lack of a better term.. Bullshit-- that came up a couple days ago. in fact all my "productive" weekend plans came to a screeching halt. i didn't even mail my rent, which has always been in my landlady's hand before the end of the month-- and this time-- the check hasn't even been written, much less mailed. ugh.

i feel so worthless when i do nothing like this-- but it's times like this that when i push myself too hard , that stuff like seizures and other unexpected medical issues decide to arise lately. so i chose to just take it easy. well, as easy as i could. mainly meaning physically. mentally/emotionally.. whole different ballgame .

see -- i can't even think straight-- how the hell am i supposed to pay bills and get in anyway organized around here??? this crap is all over the place. seems so anyhow.

so anyhow-- soulkid rode the school bus this morning. hahahahaha. first time since kindergarten. even though it's been in the planning since last year, it almost feels like a punishment-- on both ends i think. after driving her for so long, it just seems strange. but i like it. i'll still have to get up, to make sure she is awake on time, but i don't have to get dressed or face morning traffic hell... any-mo ! i really love that idea. and the walk to the bus stop for her isn't as far as i thought it was at first. it's only a few blocks, not half a mile like i thought. it might be a five minute walk for her, so i think she'll survive. i sure as hell walked further in my day--- in fact, in high school in colorado-- i'd shower before school, leave with wet hair-- and a few times, after a one mile walk--- arrive at school with ICE in my hair. so i better not hear her whine about this. of course i will though. but that's just too bad. miss big bad freshman. :))

hmmm... that's about it for now i think.
i gotta get my day started -- doing what? not too sure at this point. my main pressing thing, is getting my bills paid, and or in the mail. after that-- i may- or may not clean and do laundry.
if i decide against that-- i might just break in my new fishin license. i'm just not sure right now.
but after a weekend like the one that just passed-- fishin may just win out over the chores.
afterall, there's always tomorrow--- right.
and isn;t that why God made crock pots, and paper plates??


hope y'all have happy days out there in your worlds--- i'm workin on it--- as usual.

spreadin what i'm lovin and hatin on lately

yep-- it's a lovin and hatin on kinda day--
why?
ummm, well...
just cuz---
cuz why?
cuz i got nuthin better-- that's why----

nah, not lovin- or hatin my cats-

just more like attempting to keep my own moods in check--
but failing - miserably.
as i search for the happy medium while the pendulum swings by - and by again
the balance line.
-
seeing only stress, and anger.

yet finding THIS-
on my list of lovin ons

"the Aquapod"
becomes a new found love.
call me easy to please-
but it is a mini bottle of water..
about 11 oz.
but it is sooo small-
it's the cutest damn thing i ever seen!
well, since the baby coke cans.
i always find myself undable to finish a whole can of coke or bottle of water-
then i'm too chintzy too throw it away- than i end up drinkin a 12 hour or one day old hot flat old half empty something.
only cuz i didn't wanna throw it out.
so i find the mini portions and just fall in love with em !
course they never last around here like they should-- even when we have the normal sized of everything--
just cuz everyone else thinks that they're just so darn sweet, they just like to play with them. that they'll drink three or four at time , just to play house with em, that they never last like they would if only i drank em. so i don't really save the money that i plan to by buying them. but they are very cute- and would be prefect for the small belly or for a baby. if you could keep the curiosity of the rest o the bunch away from from em ! and actually use em for the smaller appetite. erg.


oh here's another lovin thang--
for those of you stockin up your soulman questions--
i found these invitations online-- i spose they will be the official invitations we will use for saturdays with soulman:

(saturday with soulman-
next saturday-)


and seein a s i know nothin about photoshop or photo editing-- this is how they have to stay-- and y'll can just use your imaginations--
(i'll work on em)



know what else i found recently that i fell in love with?
it really sounds odd and a bit gross at first:
but THESE!


YUMMO!



FISHIN!!


and my soulman-


ok... let's move on to some hatin thangs!

conflict

i sleep too much at the very wrong time !

same here-
thinkin when i shouldn't
and not thinkin when i should-
times like these i just wanna sleep for a week!



"sleep smokin"
or worse-
havin your picture taken WHILE sleep smokin.
for some reason i thought it was in my hand--
this is even worse-
not only is it still burnin--imagine it fallin on my chest or neck?
OWWWW

let's just top it off
with a general statement-
to include
everything else!



but:
to end on a brighter note--

i
l (ove)
y (ou)
-
all my blog-peeps
have a happy , eatin-chillin labor day!

the lazy souls mini update

howdy folks--
just here to say hello for now--
we just got back from fishin--
not much luck in that department today--i got one-- about a five otr six incher-- and hubby got two bass-- one smaller than mine-- and one iteeee biteee one-- and one tiny perch. he was tryin for the perch tho in real shallow water that he could see in, he was just playin with it, and caught it.

so anyhow-- that's the mornin out this way--

oh except that he also got a phone call from his mama while we were there--- seems she has been readin my blog!
OOPSY--

HI MOMMASON :))

apparently he needs to call her more often. she's been hearin things here-- that he should be tellin her. ie---- the seizure. hmmmm. that's kinda not a good way to hear about stuff like that.
or our upcoming trip to vegas--- nope-- even tho it was only recently confirmed-- she didn't know it was bein planned.

sorry mommason--
i didn't know -- that you didn't know these things.
hmmm.

i also didn't know you were readin my blog- :)
you should say hi sometimes-

so anyhow--- aside from that stuff-- even though i know better, and i know i should take some time to catch up with my blog friends-- i do believe that i will take advantage of this free time that i have, and actually go take a nap. haven't had that opportunity for a while. i know it hasn't been at all this passed week. before that, i'm not sure. but i am tired. and there's some dumb show on tv-- you all know how weekend tv is-- especially when there's a man in control of the clicker. ugh.

oh wait-- one MORE thing :)) before i go---

our talk over the fishing rods this morning?

what do y'all think about soulman havin a special column here? lol. yes for real. we could call it

"go ask Soulman"

it would be where you ask him "man questions" like when a man says he isn't thinkin about anything , what's he really thinkin about?:
and he would say "nothing"

i chose that question, cuz i actually asked him that once. and that's what he said. how freeing -- or boring-- would it be to literally not think of anything at all??? man. just for five minutes. pure heaven for me. that would be peace. dont ya think?
and they wonder why women have a harder time breaking addictions. there ya have it. women think too much. men -- well-- don't think at all , apparently. :)

ok.. i'm done male bashing.
but wouldn't that be funny? let's try it and see how it goes. and if you don't want to point out your own spouse-- you could just say why do men.. etc-- and not why does my man.. ya know?

but he did say-- he doesnt want to deal with "sensitive issues"-- like marital advice etc.
but general man questions are cool.

so i think it would be fun... we could pick his brain, and really see how a guy thinks--- or if they think. :))

he's not a dumb guy either-- he knows about politics and crap like that-- so there's a pretty broad range of stuff to talk about.

i'm kinda curious to see how it would go.

let's say-- if y'all are interested-- we'll have a go ask soulman day-- on .. Wednesday? or saturday? or both?

yall think about it, and let me know here.. so i can prepare him.. hahaha.

for now-- i'm gonnna go take a nap-- and then i will be back and run around blogtown.

happy satahday people-ettes-- and brad :)) --- and mommason lol

just a qwikee for now

ever feel like that?
like you're playin tug-o-war with your life, and priorities?
well, i do--- for like the last three months.
but, i'm in the lead now-- or at least i think i am.
so i guess i'm feelin a bit pit bully for the moment.
hopefully i can keep this feeling, and stay in the lead, and finish all my crap--
that way-- next week-- and from there on.. (snicker) will merely be maintenance-- and no longer catch-up.
cuz catch - up kicks my ass. it seems it just never happens... cuz ya have catch-up-- and maintenance, right on top of the other... and it's just HARD. and makes for some very very long and painful awful, and tiring days.

---- if ya didn't see it in the comments below-- last night-- i was answerin comments ... it was before 9 pm even..i think.. and i passed out online-- with a burning cig-- i woke up to hubby takin my picture !!! OMG-- how embarrassing. he was NONE too happy with me. i have been fallin asleep while smoking a lot lately--over the passed month or so--- and i already feel bad enough about that-- but he scolds me for it-- and i know that when im tired-- or especially in bed-- it is not a thing that i should be doing---- but i do it anyhow. so to wake up to him takin a damn picture to use as evidence to scold me with-- i felt like a child-- gettin cold busted doin somethin really bad wrong. i tried to accept my scolding-- but i think i got a little defensive--
anyhow-- forget the fear of laptop strangulation--- i really really gotta STOP -- once again-- takin the laptop to bed... lest i not only kill myself-- but the entire family this go round.
blogging, catchin up with my peeps etc.. is just gonna have to wait-- til i am caught up with my life-- it isn't gonna take much longer.
it really does look like the end of the weekend that i will be caught up enough to have some kind of normal routine or schedule. PHEW-- i can't wait for that !


so anyhow--- i have time to hit one or two pages-- then i have to go run a few errands-- but then i will return.. and i will flutter between chores and blogs today-- and i may even steal a nap today--- or not.
we will see.

but i did get a whole lot done yesterday-- and damn near killed myself doin it. but it is finally done. i put in about a twelve hour day--if not 14-- and it's been like that ALL friggin week. i can't wait to be done. and stay ahead. if that's possible. tell me it's possible.


happy friday everyone!!!!

i'm a loser

after i posted earlier-- we went out again, shopped for the kid some school stuff, and went to eat, -- we just home like twenty or thirty minutes ago-- now i am whooped -- and goin to bed----

i really am sorry - but i don't think i'll be doin any cruisin 'round the blog town tonight.

i will tomorrow though--
no more promises from me-- i mean well.. i do-- but things just don't seem to go as planned lately--
so-- i will see you as soon as i get there--

goo'night peoples--

does anybody really know what time it is

hmmm.. i feel like i may have done a post with that title before-- but -- oh well.. i don't have time to change it -- or find out , now.

anyhow---

i know-- it's not 11:56 yet-- but it's close enough. besides-- i didn't have enough "time" to waste today spending two hours on google looking for the "perfect" picture for this post.

so we're stuck with that that one.


anyhow-- i was just working on my banks and budget and that kinda crap-- when i noticed the clock... SOAB... hours have passed since i started that stuff. where in the hell does the time go?? really? when i want the time to go slow-- like when i have a lot to do, and need time... the day flies by like some kinda hummingbird on speed or somethin---

and when i have nuthin to do and am bored as hell, and want the day to just be done with--- it rolls by like a friggin dead ass slug.

this last few days that i have been trying to get everything finished and get caught up-- get ready for my nephew to come, and for us to go out of town--- i seem to be accomplishing nothin. maybe one or two things on my list for the day-- and not even a nap- 2 and a half days just gone--- poof! -
ugh.
almost noon now-- 11:54... all i have done is balance my checkbook.. and handle a couple phone calls.. and blog in my comment box (below) :)) which i dont mind. oh and caught jamie for a minute-- which, again.. i don't mind that either. and now i'm posting.. and i don't mind that either..

but what i do mind?
i have soooo much to do-- and i just know it isn't gonna get done----
i don't know how much will get done.
i do know i need to get the hell UP-- and get started tho-- and i aint even dressed... well.. i am clothed-- but not in a way that i can be seen outside. so-- i best be gettin presentable, and hit the the road. i'm down to three hours-- to accomplish about six hours of "work".

somebody come help me.... i mean "visit".. ya , that's it-- come visit me. :))))))))))


i will catch up with y'all later---

i can't promise i'll make it to everyones page today (tonight) but i will get to as many as i can.. and hit the rest in z mo'ning...

just remember "the squeaky wheel gets the grease"
:))
jaimeeeee
and smocha
and mary
lol

i'll do my best to get get to everybody tho---

oh yes-- and to those who don't know--
smocha mentiioned a "cankle"
LOL
below-- is a photo of a cankle
enjoy-

obviously- it is when your
calf-meets your ankle
bwahahahahahahahaha

(did i mention i have a couple mini-posts in my box below?
well, i do)

happy humpday!!

random babbling from a tired soul

yes peeps-- i know i'm lally-gaggin..
who the hell came up with that word anyhow?
or shenanigans, for that matter?
kids today prolly think anybody who uses either of them oughtta be locked up!
perhaps that is why i like to use them :))
no, not to be locked up-- just for the reaction from my kid-- or her friends.. i think it's fun!

anyhow--
seems i was wrong, in thinkin that my life would slow down and get more chill when school started--very wrong.

two or three weeks before , and now-- only the second day into school... it seems i'm runnin around like a chicken with my head cut off. (nope-- i have never really seen that-- have you?)
but it has been a crazy, hurried , not enough time - month or so. it's just keelin me.

i'm hopin to be caught up on everything soon.
it may be a couple days-- but hopefully not much more than that.

i know i've said it a few times--- but this has really been a rough summer. not the entire summer... but on average? yep-- pret-teeeee bad overall. in more ways than one.
lots of areas to work on in getting a lot of situations back how they need to be. but-- it didn't get this way overnight-- i don't expect it will change overnight either. wish it would though.
but don't we all?

so--- for starters--- i think we will begin with going in debt-- which seems to be one of my main concerns lately. but isn't it always??? why don't i just accept the fact that the whole world has some type of debt-- and just deal with it? ugh.
so anyhow-- that's step one--

my nephew.. is going to come out and stay with my child for a few days-- so we can go to vegas , and meet with jamie and her family out there . woo hoo !!!

i was worried about soulkid not having a place to stay-- or having to send her to arkansas to my sis-- but missing school this early in the year, is just not an option. so yippee-- we get to go !!

i bought his plane ticket last night online-- you won't believe how much it cost. go ahead-- take a wild guess---- if i was smart-- but i'm not-- i would have said-- oh hell no-- we won't go... but i didn't do that. i bought it anyhow. it'll be ok. long story -- but it'll work out in the end-- anyhow
his ticket costed--- $ 333. (and some change) ---

well-- jamie seems to think 333 is my -- or A -- lucky number-- since it seems to come up so often... so-- i'm pretty curious as to how much mine and soulmans tix are gonna cost-- last time i looked they were 3-somethin... but not 333.

so- if they end up 333--or we end up in room 333 or flight 333 or some other weird thing--- you know i'll be bettin on 3's the whole time i'm there !!!

ok.... let's move on, shall we?

aside from school, and travel stuff...
hmmm...
mainly just tryin to get caught up around the house..and other things that i've let slide for the passed couple months. it's a slow go-- but it'll get done-- sooner or later. we have decided to devote labor day weekend to ALL of us workin on the house. from cleaning up-- to the minor fixer upper stuff.
and -- in a couple months it will be cool enough to have my yard sale, so we'll have to get started on sortin through stuff. and by doing that-- we hope to be able to get rid of our storage bin-where we park the boat. cuz without the garage full of crap--it should hold the boat. ahhh-- i hope so.

well.. i think i just realized that this is a pretty boring post.
that , or i'm just tired--- i am dozin off in my chair. ugh. so much for finishing todays "list" -- looks like nap time! and i don't have to feel guilty about it today-- cuz no one will know about it LOL-- well.. cept y'all. :))-- and i don't even have to tell you about all of em. hahahah.
but i usually do. y'all don't think i'm ignorin you if i take a nap tho-- these two do. well, and smocha :))

so anyhow--- that's my day-- or month-- so far.
i'll be back.


ps-- ever live with a dog that had food poisoning?
it is NO fun at ALL.
yes , i speak of eevee.
OMG. bad chicken.. including bones, from the trash... equals two days of -- well... you name it-- we got it.
and yep-- she will be boarded when my nephew is here. she is too unpredictable for anyone to be left alone with.
but sushi will stay-and the cats will. they'll be easy to love.

so-- again.. i'm outta heah-

sometimes it just feels good to CUSS

don't you agree?

i don't know if i ever said that before- or even realized it til just a minute ago. but i do believe that it's a true statement. at least for me. her'e the scenario:
soulman: playin x-box 360 live (call of duty 4) .....
me: online- i'm wearing headphones-- but nothing is playing... dunno why.

so-- i hear him say "Fuck"

i say-- just for the hell of it-- "fuck"

soulman: chuckle
me: fuck..hee hee
him: what?
me: fuck!.. ya know? sometimes , it just feels good to cuss. dontchya think?
him: ya, i guess so. G-- dammit!
me: fuck.
us: haha
him: i think,, "you bee-itch", is my favorite."
me: we're so stupid..
us-- back to what we're doin...

me: posting :))

y'all think i'm crazy don't you?

well, i just may be, but i don't really care. well, sometimes i don't. the only time i care is when i'm really worried about it. and right now-- i'm not. :))

so, anyhow-- what do you think? about cussin i mean. dontchya just think it feels good-- sometimes? not like arguing or anything...or in front of anyone.. i mean just say somethin-- as a release.
like ... "*sigh* awwww fuck"
it's almost like takin a shot of tequila sometimes. too bad it doesn't last as long.

anyways---
lemme get my bearings here. like i had any to begin with.
it's not even noon, i slept -- are you ready-- til 8 this morning. i know. crazy huh?
and dammit-- i just lost my total train of thought. i hate it when that happens.

which reminds me--
is a train wreck--
much like my life lately.

ANYWAYS---(oops-caps)
so, - ya, i slept more last night than i have in any one night-- in literally months. months---and-- months. as in several months. i think i may have slept from before 6 or 7 pm to like 8 am. i was amazed-- and soulman, said he was actual almost scared. (this morning when he got up).
i guess the tournament yesterday just wore me the hell out. when i woke up this morning i felt like i had been hit by a train. maybe two trains. TWICE. omg-- i was in some terrible pain. my neck, back, and legs. man. in fact- i wasn't sure i'd make it out of bed-- and when i did-- i didn't think i'd make it out of my chair for coffee-- then-- when i got up for the coffee-- i had to wonder-- would i ever get back up?
that's when i took the pain med of all pain meds. good stuff-- but it renders me useless-- and blind. stoned i suppose. but it's not like a fun stoned-- more like a paralyzed stoned. i don't like it. i wish i did... but as y'all know--
"can't have nuthin" :))

and now-- a couple hours-- ish later-- feeling only a hair better-- as in not so blind-- and able to walk-- somewhat-- and see better.. i think i need to take a pain pill. looks like i'll be "stoned" -- or in y'alls terms-- "useless".. all damn day.


and on a day that i have much to do.
one of which is my favoritist of all-- the damn mall. ERG!!!
and you know, i'm puttin that off as log as possible-- i think the mall closes at like 630--- i'll be sure to get there about 5 or 530. i don't want to go at all. i begged that kid to be done with this school crap weeks ago. nooooo. she had to get all her summer playin out of the way first. so now i get the crunch put on ME, at the last minute-- and of course on a day i feel like crap.
you know you wanna be me.

so-- anyhow-- i think i mentioned the tournament-- but never got anywhere with that-- aside from complaining.
the rest of it??
minus the gory details of soulman and i arguing for at least a third of it. cuz we just seem to do that. he can't handle the pressure or competitiveness--- or something-- but it really does seem we argue every damn time we fish a tourney--- not every time we fish-- only in tournaments. and yesterday-- ugh. i told him--"i am never fishin another tournament with YOU ever again!"
(but-- that's all changed now-- he has ONE more chance. we argue-- tourneys are OUT - for us)

so anyhow--
did we win? nope.
he got two keepers-- the only wo weighables we had. almost five pounds worth-- no where in the running in the top five.
BUT-- his friend that he has been fishing tourneys with this passed season with--jim-- and his partner, yesterday-- did win first place-- with over fifteen pounds-- they won 3500.00 !!! saweeeeeeet !!!! i'm glad they won. if not us, at least it was someone we know, right.

all this time-- 3 weeks or so- we thought ALL proceeds went to the fam.. but it was -- after prize and raffle ticket money-- the family got half the proceeds-- which -- in my math-- if they paid out five places-- and first paid 3500.00-- even half of what was left was surely a nice chunka change-- wouldn't ya say?? and-- i think i only heard of one fish dyin-- before they left to release them. they fished four lakes-- not sure how many boats-- i know last i heard was 30-- but i think it had to have been more by the end. but anyhow-- four area lakes-- and all the fish got released back into "our lake"... bwa hahahahaha.... the big bass was almost 8 lbs, i think.. i hope i catch him some day :))