so. here we stand. perhaps, here I stand.

sho is - i'm done.

that is prolly more likely.  that I stand here.  alone.  as usual.  rather than 'here we stand'. yeh, i know - some come by, though not as many as used to.  hey. no big deal. it happens to all of us now and then. right? .  but hey- don't get me wrong-- i played my part in this too. i know it sometimes sounds like i blame the world for my having 'lost' a few friends- readers- here.  nah.  i don't.  not in every case.  but yep.  there's a couple that are so so SO - in the forefront of my mind, that it just pains  me to not write the 'full story (S) of them right here.   i really sense that they know who they are and what they have done.  and even if it sounds mental to you -- i even think they -- know how i feel about the thing  they do that makes me feel like i do - and do it anyhow.  and still have the nerve to 'face me'. one of them, i have told - face to face- AND online, more than once.. how i feel about this... yet to this day she blatently continues to do it.  so- nope - that is a  conscious thought ... no paranoia there. perhaps, it's even a a dagger - for some unkown reason. so i do wonder-- if any of you are alert enough-- that you have even noticed it.  cuz most of you read the same pages i do.  anyhow-- all i will say about it -- is you saw it here first. word for word these folks have plagiarized me- be it one liners, simple words, or full ideas for an entire post for their blogs.  mainly two-- but i've seen it elsewhere as well.

do i want to give them credit for causing me to leave blogland?  oh hell no.  i won't give them credit for anything other than being brainless, unoriginal , thoughtless, scum.  who can't think for themselves.  the gall of one of them? this person has a copyright at the top of her page-- all original?  my ass.  she now has 'stolen a style' of another of my -- real' friends-- and boy she is lovin the attention that's gettin her.  it only makes me want to vomit.  i hope she is happy ridin the skirt tails of others' talent.  good luck to both of you-- and i do know you know who i'm talkin about. - at least the ones who do it should.

anyhow-- no.  no one takes any credit for the end of soul survivor -- aside from the fact that, i am tired. 
 i am in a battle with my world, my body and my mind.  seems i have gone full circle from when i began this blog almost 4 years ago. 
agoraphobic.  sick. alone. and not trusting anyone.
and ya know what?  y'all brought me here.    except a select few.  i hope to God you know who you are!  you should-- because we have had recent contact- and you KNOW i love and trust you.  other than that?
i am soooo done with this thing.  all of it.
my heart is back where it belongs.  my mind is back where it belongs.  and neither are here -- vulnerable-- laid out-- to be taken for your own selfish purposes.

oh and just so ya know-- the next time i see one of you using MY words.. you plagiaristic - unimaginative, so called friends - sigh-- of mine??  i promise to expose you and show folks that you have no creativity of your own.  that you not only steal from me-- but others as well.
i suggest you get to thinkin on your own.  if that's possible.
and .. mrs. copyright- originality? take that crap down.  lest it bite YOU in the ass.

i love you all.  yeh.  i do.  even the ones who wronged me. 
the ones who didn't - don't lose contact -- i know you know who ya are.

oh hell -- look- it's friggin 9-11.  what a day to blow up soulland.  or would that be 'implode "
everyone be safe -- today and always



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