Friday, October 24, 2008

and now a word from our spon-soul :))

hey peoples !
it's me, how are y;all doin????
i miss you!!! i love to see you come by with your well wishes and good thoughts and prayers etc..
i just love and miss you. and it's great to see you come by to say hello and " stuff".

(oops-- before i go further-- i shall warn you-- i am on some heavy duty pain meds-- i do mean heavy duty intravenous-stronger than morphine.. straight to "i am dead watch me drool on myself - beyond stoned - but still can't sleep or see kinda stoned. and that makes typing, thinking, and, concentrating for blogging quite an issue. and if you think that's bad? you oughtta ask jamie and soulman and a couple others, just how fun it is to decipher a text from me. lol.) yep, just that much. if not worse.

but hell, if it keeps the pain down, i'll take it. my main concern now is they (the docs) - are talkin about discharging me today OR tomorrow-- the pulmonary (lung) doc says tomorrow. the reg doc said today. BUT the reg doc also said "when they get the pain under control"... well to be honest--- even the meds thay give me every three hours--- wear off sooner than that. and i know they won't send me home with it-- i really don't want them to. i don't know how to use that kind of stuff. i have never a needle in myself before-- except imitrex-- and you have accidental OD on imitrex. no tellin what one little mistake could do with this stuff. and ya can't puke it up if ya realize-- oh shit---i took too much. it would be more like oh bummer, doood.

ya, cuz even when ya (or a person) thinks like i been thinkin lately-- somethin like this stuff i been talkin about t00 and not talkin about, so right up in your face is really a wake up call. ya know? well hell-- i am gettin a feelin i'm gettin lost a little bit here-- i better move on to somethin else and come back to this prt lterl --- (see what i mean? what a mess...btw it should read : part later. grrrr.

see, silence really can be golden.. especially when it come to me. blahhhhhhhhhh.
well dammit- i want some coffee and you know i want a cigarette. that alone could put me into tears right this second . no shit. i am using a prescription by patch-- but they only give me one day---
could i have soulman bring me some-- yup. easily. would he-- yep-- especially if he didn't hear the dr say that the patch would bring my bp too high.. along with an entire new change of events.

so anyhow--- i just made the mistake of mistake of checkin out the theater-- or maybe i "dreamed it--- the clan was was there.. so i left and came to finish this.
i also saw jamie and am gonna go talk with her for a bit.

she's busy right now too, so will holler at me when she's done.

so. that's where i'm at. prisoner of pain and addiction. and at the mercy of a pack of nurse ratched's and dr jeckyls's.

someone better have some cigarettes and fire when he picks me up to bring me home-- whenever that may be...
and yall KNOW he is not a happy man that i "may" smoke. it is on my mind--and i porolly will. what can i say-- the devil has me in his grips.

but thats about it--for now-- i gotta go for now-- but i will try to get back later and let ya know if they catch and release or not!

happy days in your world peeps!