Sunday, March 30, 2008
yep, here i am, once again, would you believe that as i begin to type this it's friggin 333 a.m !!! how very interesting.
not that i have anything of interest to write about. just that i noticed the time.
i woke up at 2:45 a.m. - no particular reason this time. just woke up. i did go back to bed-- thinking i could at least TRY, before calling it over; but that only lasted about five minutes.
too much goin on upstairs-- in my feeble mind. so of course i was up again in less than five minutes.
a month or two ago it was really almost normal for me to get up this time of day every day-- and i was used to it. now- not so much. guess i better get used to it, cuz it just looks like the way things are again. getting through the day is much harder than it was before though. i'm not sure why that is. maybe i got used to staying up later, and waking up later... so now i go to bed late-- and get up at 2 or so-- getting less sleep, and so, i drag my ass all day long. i don't know.
but yesterday.. i really did nothing. absolutely nothing. and it wasn't out of lack of opportunity. it was total lack of energy and motivation.
i slept on and off quite a bit as the day dragged on. in my chair-- in my bed. it must have added up to several hours-- yest i remained very tired all day long. i hate that feeling.
about mid day or so-- soulman and soulkid went to the store-- i was invited -- but did i go?
nooop. stayed right here in my still not dressed , ass-sittin -on , sloth bein, state of mind.
later on, soulman took EEVEE to the park. that dogs needs to run and play-- in space we just don't have here--- or she would expload! so he goes almost every day with her. anyhow-- he went to a park with a fishin pond. took fishin stuff, asked if i wanted to go. did i???
noooop. i remained on my ass.. in my chair. comotose.
he was gone a couple hours. i still had accomplished nada.
but i decided i'd better get to cookin somethin.. before we ended up spending more money on prepared food--- which again, we have been doing way too much of-- simply because i haven't shopped-- or cleaned the kitchen-- or some other motivational road block has interfered.
so i did. i got up and cooked dinner-- but i was a total ass the entire time. for no real reason. just cuz i didn't want to cook. it turned out ok. (pork chops and Brussels sprouts-- yep that's it-- not even a potato! can we say-- lethargic? i think it has gone beyond lazy-- i just have NO energy.
not much between dinner and bed time. cruisin, tv, chattin with the soul-fam. watchin soulman do homework with soulkid..a science thing. he is much better at keeping her on task than i am. he did really good and so did she--- and she actually finished! yippee for both of em!
by then it was pushin 930 - 10:00--- so.. i went to bed. i had been fighting to stay awake by then already for a couple hours. knowing if i went to bed at 8 like i felt like-- i'd surely be up way too early. but apparently-- it did no good to suffer. i was still up too early.
can't figure it out. gotta be the med change. seems it has been hardest to stay awake since the switch. sooo.. i am gonna take the new one at bed time tonight, rather than in the morning like usual, and see if it makes a difference. i sure hope that is the problem. i really hate spending my life in neutral.. or worse even... PARK. ugh.
somethin's gotta give here.
that's about all i got for now. we'll see if anything blogworthy happens later on.
hope y'all have good days out there