Sunday, January 13, 2008

i fell into a burnin' ring of fire

hi-lo my soul-peeps...

i'm not real certain of what to write about today. maybe i should wait a while to write anything at all, but usually if i don't post while everyone is either asleep- or gone somewhere--- i find it hard to concentrate. oh hell, i can't concentrate any damn way. but it is easier for me without the tv, music, x box, or some other damn thing bothering my already cluttered mind.

anyhow, i know a few of you have noticed... but some may not have. but i have not been my normal self lately. i don't know how much of this i am willing to share.. but i will say that it is my belief (and a couple others close to me) - that yet another medication has affected much more than it should have, or actually more than i am sure the doctor intended it to.

i stopped the med several days ago, but it is taking time to leave my system fully. it is however not making me feel as horrible as only a day or two ago.

so anyhow. just so ya know-- i'll get it together soon. well, as much as i ever had it together before :))

ok... moving on...

i posted about my dog several days ago too. midnight. poor midnight. it is quite evident that this time, it is no false alarm. she will not be bouncing back from this latest episode of whatever it is that happened to her. in fact just last night, for the first time, i actually saw her "do something". it was very alarming to me. i actually thought she might die right there in front of me. we were out late last night, and she had been left alone for longer than she has in a very long time. so really i don't know if it had happened to her earlier in the evening or not; but i was settling into bed, and she, as usual, was on her bed next to me on the floor... i was just talking to her... and when i looked over the front of her body-- like her arms, paws head, neck chest etc.... were almost like a convulsion would be-- but it wasn't her full body. when i called her name, she didn't respond. it only lasted less than a minute.. she went to sleep immediately after, but did respond to me, and seems ok this morning... except she is crying. she has been crying A LOT for days. it's killing me. just killing me. if yesterday-- or even today weren't a weekend... i would take her to the vet, and just get it over with. she can't get comfortable, she is miserable, she paces, and cries, and i don't know what happened last night-- but whatever it was-- it was not good. i am sure, by the end of next week, i will be burying my best and longest lasting friend. and once again.. i will stand alone in the wake of grief. but it is time. i cannot allow her to suffer anymore, to save myself the pain of another loss.

well.. i suppose that is enough of that. don't you?

on a lighter note...

we all actually got out of the house last night. soulkid piled three extra kids into the car, rather than one-- into my nissan.... two had to share a seat belt-- that was real fun.. but surprisingly-- when they get older .. the "she's lookin at me!" - and "he's touching me!" does stop. so that much was good. and i laughed at their conversations. 13 and 14 year old kids come up with some very funny stuff. and to add -- they also seem to add the shock factor quite a bit more often than they do at 3 or 4 years old. i'm so glad i do have a sense of humor at times such as these.

anyhow, we dropped them off at mall hell -- thank God above she is of age that we can do that now. (never alone, but oh man, it's wonderful when she has someone to go with.. i HATE the mall.) after we left them, hubby and i went to eat, because our next stop was what i knew would be an even worse hell than any mall on earth could ever be for me. and besides that-- my body was screaming for a steak. i wanted a steak so bad, that i knew it was not my stomach talking... my body needed some damned meat. and would you believe i matched big ole soulman bite for bite? it was like i was starving to death or something. very strange. but it was also very good.
i will never fully understand how the human body works, but i think i need to eat more steak..... :))

so anyhow.... after dinner, and some quite sensitive and touchy conversation-- that actually went better than i had anticipated (nothing bad)... just touchy--- anyhow.. we left there, and guess where we went??? oh man. do ya really want to know? we knew we were gonna go. but really we had no idea that it would take over four damned hours to complete our task.
so anyways-- wanna know where we went? wanna know what we did?

we went to a car dealership (i typed dealershiT, and had to laugh, cuz that's really suitable for the hell it was )

the below pic is not the one i actually bought-- it is hijacked off the net--- i can't find my color in a large enough pic online, and i don;t know where my damn camera is-- so until i find it--or borrow soulkids camera... this will have to do----

my color is
"aloe green metallic"
it's a toyota camry.
and i like it alot.

we got realllllleeeeee screwed on the trade in, but remember the engine light was on-- even though hubby spent 40 dollars on the part, and two hours of his yesterday replacing it-- it still didn't make the light go out. PLUS... we had STILL been hearing water in the engine on occasion.. from the flash flood from.. hell, when? months and months ago. so, we are far more than upside down, but we have never not been when it comes to buying a car anyhow.
oh, and another good thing? i really don't think that they noticed the bumper damage from when i backed into the pole when we bought soulmans truck. even though it was minimal.. they still coulda knocked off another grand saying they needed to replace the bumper etc.
so.. it coulda been worse i reckon.

and i'll tell ya , on the test drive... oh man i fell right in love with it. the comfort, the power, pretty much everything. i really like it. and the difference between this and the nissan in both... unbelievable .

another great benny??? i can control the stereo from the steering wheel! oh the control! i laughed when i told soulkid--of course she grumbled. the stereo wars in the car may just come to an end... BWA HA HA HA HA!!!

welp-- i think that is about all i can spew out of me for now.

happy sunday to y'all...