I have a disease that at this moment is really not noticeable except for a certain limp I have. What people don't realize is that it is a systemic disease and you feel like CRAP all the time. The up side is, you don't look like crap. So since you look nice and healthy and happy, no one takes you seriously when you tell them just how f-ing bad you feel.
I guess I shouldn't complain, no one has ever taken me seriously anyway. EVER.
(we, us, etc = is all of us out there with "something".. an illness, chronic pain..etc.) ---------------------------------------------------->
i hear ya summer. and some do take you seriously. just so ya know. unfortunately--- it's prolly mostly your blog-peeps.
i really think the people in our lives are in denial --- they can't view us as needy --- or it might make them feel inadequate , because they can't fix us; or maybe face the thought of "losing us" too soon.
perhaps even the guilt of letting, or asking, or watching us -- do too much.. when they know we shouldn't-- or even can't sometimes. but we do. don't we always just do what we gotta do?
that's just how it is. i reckon.
women are do-ers, and care-takers. men are fixers of things.
men can't fix us... so they rationalize that things aren't so bad.. it's an off day for her..
--- and they say women live in a fantasy land----
has anyone EVER really listened to a man talk? ugh. my 14 yr old understood a movie plot the other day (YES , y'all she watches movies with us now-- hoo rah!)
anyhow.. sorry... distracted you know...
men are fixers-- when they can't fix something-- especially someone they feel responsible for... we become "better" in their mind. everything is just hunky dory.
women, though, are born to do for others. without women, the world would end. eventually without pro-creation-- there would be no life. therefore, instinctively, i think, women do and give simply out of nature-- subconsciously maybe?
some... just overdue it. forgetting that there are boundaries. our bodies suffer for that. we suffer for that. but by the time we even realize that we are "suffering" (in whichever way) -
it's just a bit too late sometimes. our role is cast-- our script is written, and we have no understudy. this is where we are. and we learn to live with it. we learn.. somewhere in the middle of it ... complaining, giving in, giving up, surrender to a disease or diagnosis -- will ONLY ultimately identify us as our diagnosis.
when we reach that point... will we ever return from pity seeking, self absorbed, hiding in the shadows, no one cares about me , SICK people??? what a sad way to be.
but wow. so familiar. and so NOT how i want to be. none of "us" do.
but how do we not. resentment begets resentment..does it not?
we resent being ill/ or in pain ... we resent the diagnosis ... in the end .. we resent ourselves for having -- or becoming that diagnosis.
afterall, we have families to take care of, things to do, lives to live. people need us. how dare we not feel well. right? shame on us.
what a bunch of crap the whole thing is.
and look where it takes us my friend...
now i know where
"right to the bitterend " came from. cuz it looks like that's where all this crap takes us.
there's some points to ponder... we're all screwed from birth. and it doesn't matter who you are-- or how much good karma you "should" have. nothin means a thing. as long as you got something to give...someone will be there to take it. plus a little more.
holy crap-- sorry--- how's THAT -- for a sunday morning rant? :))
i don't know why i'm so bitter lately. maybe i should get out today. ugh. just the thought makes me want to find a rock to crawl under.
i haven't left my front door since wednesday night. (i think) . not even stepped outside. WTH?
look good feel bad .. feel bad, look good. it doesn't matter. you're right. nobody gets it.
and here i go-- bloggin in my box again. hmmm. well.. it saves me thinkin time. i'll move this over to the other side-- and pay my late bills that have been sittin here for two weeks.
go have some margaritas-- and pretend we're in floreedah with ac :)) i miss margaritas btw. just thought i'd let ya know :))