Wednesday, July 7, 2010

is no news really good news?

mornin folks.

well, i guess it's not really 'mornin' anymore is it? i'm still doin the smoke-n-choke, along with some intense Dr. Google consulting. ( yeh, i know - don't say it) - so to me, it is still morning. kinda.
bleh. do i sound frazzled? perhaps i am. nothin major; just a lot on my mind i reckon.

i got up this mornin and started my day with the normal routine, coffee, cigs, meds, just the chillaxin thing. ya know. after a while i realized it was 9:04 A.M. my first thought was -- hmmm, i bet someone is answerin phones at neuro about now. so -- yup, i called.

i wanted to call yesterday. i was told by radiology that the doc would have the results by afternoon . so, of course, i was dying to know what or if they found anything on the MRI (brain w/and without contrast - brain veins - and cervical spine (neck). ugh. i swear - i looked at the clock every hour yesterday. (minus my long nap ) waiting - impatiently - for the call.

i was at the point that i didn't even care what they had to say -- i just wanted to hear something. anything. of course -- i heard nothing at all. i tried to not think so much about it-- and i did refrain from calling the office.

until this morning. i had to know something. even if it was nothing. no one has a headache for a freakin month. - so. i called. wanna know the first thing i learned? my dr. is out of the office til next freakin monday !!! wo hoo! isn't that just the way things go in my world? but hey - there is no way in hell i would be able to wait - patiently , or otherwise , for a whole nother week waiting on the results . this is MY brain guys. so -- i asked first - if they could have my dr's partner look at em and call me about it... she could have done that - but i spose it's some kinda toe steppin thing. i don't know. so i went ahead and asked her what - if anything she could tell me. she let me know - she was not a nurse or dr - or any of the sort - so i tried to not get too detailed in my questions. knowing that she was doin me a favor goin as far as she did already. the little i did get from her??? has me concerned - to say the least . but at the same time-- it's not as bad as it could be.. considering my many "symptoms".
there were several minor things - some i already knew --- from the last MRI. well, i say minor - only cuz it hasn't killed me yet - and it's been a year or two since the last one.
but something she did mention - that wasn't mentioned on the last one???
an "infarct". which is basically dead tissue (necrosis)- scar tissue. that kinda stuff.
the first thing that came to my mind was the fact that when i blew the clot in my lung -- that word - infarct- was mentioned. permanent dead/damaged, part of my lung due to the force of the clot when it blew as it hit the wall of my lung.
so-- right away -- i'm thinkin .. and ask -- is that evidence of a stroke .. she reminds me she's not a dr, etc. most likely covering her ass etc. so - i just schedule a follow up with my doc - for NEXT freakin wednesday -- ERG! to discuss all this crap with my dr.

so, of course i turn to my best friend- and worst enemy , Dr. Google.

what did 'we' discover? well, aside from several worms to choose from out of the large can of such that i happened to once again open :))) the two most logical, causes of a ' cerebral infarction'???
1- a stroke
2- a blown clot (anyerism / or embolism)

so. yes - i am an asSoul. i should have gone to ER the night that i had that horrible headache nearly a month ago. live and learn i reckon. perhaps i'm just too stubborn to croak???

i'll let y'all know when i have the 'official report' - for now this is all i got.

oh yeh - as for the manseusse crap? haven't heard a word back from them.. i'm gettin pissed too --- they wouldn't like me when i'm angry --

have a nice day -
i'll see about that here -- so far -- not quite feelin it.