Friday, January 1, 2010

a new year dilema -- i mean-- HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!


and hell, what is withe the dang underlining? great way to start my first post of 2010. dontchya think? it's cuz i am me, you know that right?

anyhow. i also thought-- or should i say, i originally thought-- that a good way to begin my first post of the new year would be with a brand new fairy for ya.

perhaps, a

'new year fairy'

i don't know about y'all, but he makes me kinda happy :))
(and so does the fact that his fairy-ness made the underlining go away)

but anyways, i do hope you all had a safe and happy new years eve last night. no major hangovers this morning? no tickets? accidents? brawls? regrets?
nah. i am hopefully doubting all of the above. i think most of us are old enough to have learned from our past crazy days to not do those things now that we're the golden girls. :))

i would like to know what y'all did last night tho-- i'll get to what we did in a while -- but i have some other stuff to say first-- and by the time i get that out here-- well, you'll prolly be sick of me- so i may have to come back another time on the deets of last night.

so for now, i kinda come to you with a bit of a ----

and i feel like a :

i'm a crappy parent and human being- because i live in a world of:

yes, it's true. and what makes it even worse? i know better. i know what i should do. i know what i need to do. i know right from wrong.

and i know what i am doing is exact what pisses me off more than anything when another parent does it to me.
yup. i have information on a kid that could be potentially health threatening, yet i am not as much as i know i should to inform this kids parents of what i know.
of course i have NO way of knowing how to do that. no phone number, no address, no first- or even last name. so. what do i do? i have already tried to get that out of soulkid. to no avail. i can't beat it out of her. she refuses to consider the possible consequences of what could and might happen to this kid. but ME? oh boy. y'all know me. i would take that responsibility and guilt to my grave. IF something happened . the chances are slim, since some time has passed , but still.. from the research i have done this morning? it could take as long as a week or more for any symptoms to show. holy crap. how do i get sucked in the middle of crap like this?

perhaps i did well to raise a kid who is loyal ... but to THIS extent? this is TOO loyal. this is ridiculous. this could be life threatening. WTF.
what a way to start a year. surely i will find a way to either get her to tell me how to contact the kids parents-- or i can find out from the school. i will not let this just go by without doing something.
once again, i got the "this is why i don't want to tell you stuff!!!"
but dammit-- i think she did good by telling us-- maybe i just shouldn't have told her i was gonna tell???
i do not know how to be a mom. but i refuse to go through this shit again, and let kids hurt themselves without letting on to their parents. i can't live with that kind of guilt .
i don't want to be like those parents who enabled my kid. i just won't be like them.

ok-- on to a lighter subject---

my surprise gift?
from yesterday-
it's unveiling has been delayed.
but not by long.
i did meet with Jlee yesterday , and we had a good visit, and a yummy lunch.
i also got to SEE 'it'--- but i didn't get to bring it home. she noticed an imperfection in the sunlight that she didn't notice at her house. so she wanted to take it back home and touch it up.
SO-- i will tell ya what it is-- cuz i know smocha, if no one else-- is dying to know what 'it' is.

Jlee, has drawn.. or sorry J-- whatever the proper term is :O ----
a portrait of my son Patrick. who, if you don't know died as an infant, many years ago. i have offered to pay several people over the years to do this for me, and have given them photos to use to do it-- only to never see them, a portrait, or my photo again. the last time i did this-- the girl did sincerely TRY to do the portrait, but many of you saw, it was a disaster.
when Jlee saw that scan on my blog-- she offered , as a gift to do it for me. i accepted.
it is beautiful. and so is she. she returned my photos even !!! :)) not that i ever doubted that she would.

so. when she does find the time to get it touched up, and back to me-- y'all will be the first to see it-- well, outside of us, and the soul-clan, of course.

no gift is better than one from the heart--- given or received. Jlee i will never forget this-- and never know how to repay it. i LOVE it... you didn't have to take it back.

i hope y'all are safe and sound-- and all your family are too!

have a happy day -- and a happy new year in your worlds too

oh ps-- you may not see me today--- there's an svu marathon on -- and soulkid beckons at this moment!
thank God for soulman and his feeding abilities :))