Friday, January 18, 2008

here i am at yet another unGodly hour -

hard to believe that it's already an hour after i got out of bed. wth?? yep, another one of those mornings. it started actually at about 2 a.m. i rolled over in bed.. .. and somehow managed to knock Sushi clear off the damn bed onto the floor! it's quite a drop i might add-- especially for a small dog. i heard the wind blow out of her with a grunt, like a football player being squished by a three hundred pound linebacker or something. i thought she might really be hurt. the bed is pretty high off the ground. so anyhow, that of course wakes up midnight-- all in a panic thinking the boogey man has come to get us-- yes she does still have that protective streak-- but it's actually sad to see it in action-- as she is , blind, mostly deaf, and extremely confused... she can never figure out where a sudden unfamiliar sound comes from,,, but she tries. so, at the same time... there i am... looking around in the dark.. for an injured sushi-- like that's all i need right now, a damn broken leg-- or something, on her. but, she was fine.. i got her back in the bed.. got midnight settled down. well hell--- by then, soulman was wondering wth just happened.... i got up and went to use the back bathroom.. so it wouldn't bother him while he was trying to sleep--- came back thinking.... ok... one last ditch effort to go back to sleep .. it could happen... no school--- soulkid is gone at a friends for the night... .. so i settle back into bed, the animals are calm... then--- soulman has to get up-- ugh. he doesn't use the back bathroom... he uses the one in our room... that has a retarded door, two actually-- but anyhow-- its the reason i use the other one when he is asleep. so, he gets back in bed, and the freakin cat starts playin with a damn plastic bag of some sort-- wal mart or somewhere-- he starts hissin at the cat to make her stop----- and there i am... it was ALL over but the cryin. i got up--- 250 a.m. woo hoo.

hubby on the other hand went immediately back to sleep--- the dogs AND cats were insane-- until like ten minutes ago-- now they are all asleep again... but me??? yep--- HERE i am.
doin the smoke n choke.

what a way to start my damn day. i know i sound crabby-- but i'm just venting. i'm goin on coffee #3, and might be on cig 5 by now. with the animals settles, the house quiet agian, and me calming down from the fiasco of earlier--- it's not so bad.

plus--- i don't see a terribly busy day ahead of me.. not like the last few. i am sooo caught up i think i'm a little scared of myself. :))
i worked my ass off yesterday. in the house. i had really been failing behind this passed week, but sure made up for it yesterday.
and the day before, y'all know i got caught up on all my bills... ugh.. i shouldn't even go there. basically we went broke broke that day. to a point of a very uncomfortable state of mind for me. for several months, we had finally been feeling pretty good about our financial situation--- for probably the first time in most of our married life... but , it was quite unsettling to watch like 90 0/0 of everything go away in one --- ok a couple days. but hey-- i am grateful that it was there to go where it needed to. without selling or borrowing to get it done. that was kind of a new feeling. the bein broke-- i am used to. it's quite familiar. i just somehow thought i would have a set limit to never get below again--- and well-- i kinda blew that. but mostly this was because of the new car. i am sure we will get caught back up in a few months. it's not like we're ruined forever. so i think we shall live.

todays agenda???
hubby works... the child is gone-- don't know when she will come home--- but really-- i am caught up with all my major crap--- if i really wanted to , i could sort stuff for goodwill...... or ... i could go fishin--- but it is like 40 degrees--- soooo----- it is so highly unlikely that will will happen, i don't even know why i said it. ummm... i really don't know what i will do with myself today--- but the day is mine. and it feels weird to have a day that i can actually do what i want-- whatever that may be-- and not feel guilty of what i should be doing-- cuz all that's DONE!
yep-- even my laundry AND dishes!!!

soooo anyhow.....
i spose that might just be it for now

i hope you all have good days today---
and better weekends to follow