Sunday, September 6, 2009

the rest of the story . . .

well tie me up and call me stupid.
almost everyone who commented on my last post-- excluding the spammer-- who, by the way has been here before, ugh... mentioned wanting to hear "the rest of the story."
hmmmmmm. well. ya know what? i'm just senile enough to have no idea what you want me to say. ugh. no, i'm not kidding. which storey do ya wanna hear the rest of?
i had about three or four goin in that post.
the dog, the robbery, and oh hell, i don't even remember that much.

i could draw a picture ---

well , i could show ya one ---

or two

(how's that ? :))

not quite what you were lookin for? yeh i thought not. hmmm. ok. well, about eevee. the vet called yesterday. talked to soulman. but from what i got outta him, it sounds like she's gonna be ok. phew! she has a "possible" bladder infection. which someone guessed the other day; and i was kinda leanin towards myself. the poopin thing was the first time, so that may have been changin the food-- i don't know.
everything else he said just seemed like random stuff. but the labs were ok. nothing major or severe. so that was an expensive relief. i still worry though. she is about ten years old, and has a breast tumor-- it's huge too. i'm not ready to lose another dog yet-- i don't think it will be like now-- but two or three or four years from now will be even worse. dammit. when we got her, i didn't know she was that old. i damn sure didn't know she was gonna get a tumor. shit. anyhow. at least she's alright-- for now.

as for , what? ummm. oh the robbery , pawn shop stuff, i obviously know nothing new about any of that yet. cuz of the weekend.

oh ya , and my 'cryptic war'. :)) that's so much to get into. and boring. and kinda personal . it's a long story... like really long, as in ten years long. then consistently two and a half years long. then the final part was maybe between 3-6 months long. so , i really don't think you want to hear it. fact is.... lil ole me, stood up to a much larger , and intimidating force--- such as -- uncle sam... and i was finally heard.
if i wanted to continue this at this point, i could , and with not much more effort take it even further-- but i'm fine where it is now. i got exactly what i asked for. i would have won the other way if i wanted to fight harder and wait longer-- i just don't have anything left to do that. i'm friggin tired. so i took the easier softer way. guess i'll just spit it out. even tho i didn't plan to.
i pretty much was discharged from the navy with a small percentage of disability. enough to "shut me up"... for a while. when things got worse-- i re-opened my claim... that was in like 96 or maybe 98... they fought me tooth and nail-- then denied my claim. which was valid, had witness statements, documentation, etc. much of it was the same stuff i used the next time i went up-- but i was pissed off and actually surprised they denied the claim in 96-or 98-- whenever... but i fought it for a year, and lost. i was too worn out to fight back. and you can't use a lawyer with va. so on my own? i was just out of gas, so gave up. as time passed, my conditions only continued to get worse.... nothing ever improved. even to this day-- i only keep going downhill. so. somewhere like 2005, when my health got to where i just thought i was literally gonna die, i reopened my claim again. at the time-- i was STILL -- since '93.. only at 10%. but at that time, thinkin i was on my way out-- i wasn't about to die, and leave my kid with nothing. well, nothing from me anyhow. so, i started doing the unnatural. so against my grain. for years, i acted strong, pretended to be "well"... now i had to prove i was sick. that is not an easy task, let me tell you. ya don't just walk into the dr and say i'm sick and in pain... and get a check. nope. it took almost a year, and a couple really scary times, just to find out if i was gonna die or not. i ended up with a breast cancer scare-- a benign breast lumpectomy, and an addisons diagnosis.
that was in 2005-- seeing all kindsa dr's and surgeons and stuff--- orthopods, and mri's, etc--- then we moved back here-- i had to transfer my claim to dallas--- ugh. the drive from fort worth to dallas a couple times a month-- for a year almost killed me.
seein shrinks, gettin scanned, and probed, and poked-- mentally and physically--- it was so horrible-- i got to the point i coulda just dropped the entire thing. but remember-- i was near crippled, and mental at this point---- and really didn't know why-- well, i didn't know why i couldn't walk and stuff. (i still don't know for sure). all i did know for sure was that if i was gonna die-- my kid was gonna be 'ok'.
well.. i think it finally happened around the end of 2007--- i finally got approved and it was over--- my case was closed, and i was approved at 90% . you believe that? from 10% to 90% ... in 2 and a half years. i was exhausted. and i think they-- the VA-- KNEW they screwed me all those years. i got a big fat check for like one year back pay. i felt a little bittersweet justice. kind of a 'i showed them' thing. but that didn't last long. the money got spent-- the pain got worse-- and everything else stayed the same.
so, anyhow.... i see i'm rambling where i said i wasn't gonna. oops.
so, back to winning the war-- i had two choices when i decided to re-open my case a few months ago. not sure when-- my guess is maybe 4 months ago. ish. i could have asked for 100 % disability. or what i did ask for-- which was "unemployability" / with my already 90% pay. what that is/ is 100 % pay without the 100 % benefits. which is stuff like dental/vision, commissary, stuff like that. those bennies would be good to have... but i can live without them. the money? that's several hundred dollars a month more money -- plus more money for soulkid AND more bennies for her college. which , remember-- she is why i started this whole damn thing to begin with.
so , yeh-- that apparently got approved-- friday when i went into my bank online i had a few thow i didn't expect to see. it wasn't a year backpay-- like i hoped it would be... my guess is about 4 months difference in what i get . but hey, whatever, right.
i got hurt in the navy--- my son died in the navy/because of them--- so yep--- they can pay for it.

anyways-- i don't know if that's the rest of story you wanted-- but that's the rest of the story you got. :))

so, as for now--- or today---- i forced myself to go fishin this morning... not that i'm complaining. ok , i am. but only a little. i wore my ass out. i stayed too long. but i caught you a delicious bass :)) i got way too tired , way too hot, and way too sore... but looky

thank the lord for shadows :))
i look so BAD lately

but the fish is beautiful!

have you ever seen such a beautiful animal?

hope y'all are havin happy days today

(oh that reminds me---
watch this video)