Wednesday, February 27, 2008

he's trying to kill me

see that dog? well, remember how sweet my soulman has been being all this past week? taking such good care of me? watching over me? well guess what? that dog up there ?---- i have been informed that soulman is going to get THAT dog! it is a belgian melenois or some kinda thing. it'll prolly EAT sushi. he says it won't.. cuz "it's trained". ugh.
it's not like i didn't already just have a seizure or anything. is he trying for a heart attack now? i don't want a new dog-- especially a full grown.. dog LIKE THAT. a puppy? maybe. but later--maybe later--- not now. and not THIS.
does anyone want to adopt me??? or soulman? :))

tell me it's a phase. tell me he is dreaming. or it's a midlife crisis thing, and he'll buy a boat instead! :))

me n julio down by the schoolyard

apparently, it's true. i am awake..and somewhat alive too. still not quite with it though. i gotta say--- it's been a while since i have felt totally clear headed... but this passed several days has been ridiculous.
and so is the song of the day! enjoy that for a while peeps :)) you know you love it.

i will say.. i actually woke up at a normal time.. for me today. like 5 a.m.
i have been sleeping way late , and then all day since friday. of course laying down, or being all crumpled up in my chair-- has not been good for my old body. or mind. i swear-- i haven't felt clear or normal in days.

i'm hoping that today will be a start back onto the right track. hubby is gonna take me out today and we will run some errands and get some fresh air, and out of this damn house. he has taken the week off since the seizure. he got a bit of the flu himself-- but he also doesn't want to leave me alone until i see the neuro doc. it is making him crazy with worry that this might happen again. i'm not real thrilled with that thought myself... but if it will be my life-- we will have to adapt. i refuse to be worried over and babysat for the rest of my life. people live very normal lives with this problem every day. it can be controlled with meds-- and actually, from reading about wellbutrin.. even though i had been on it for several years-- it was a high dose-- and with the flu-- it was basically cut off cold turkey-- so really that could be what caused it--and it may never happen again. at least that is what we are hoping. other than that i just don't know what to think.

i know y'all have your own stuff goin on, and really it's in many ways worse than what's goin on here. i guess the main thing here is the uncertainty-- and well.. ya-- the uncertainty. for now.

anybody want to buy a car? :)) i'm just kiddin. one thing-- if i can't drive my car for six months-- it will be in pretty damn good condition for its age six months from now huh? :))

sickening. that's all i can say. i was just getting to where i was getting out more--and the weather is about to change-- it's almost time for me to fish every day-- and here i might be TRAPPED... or riding a BIKE. can you see it? me on a damned modified bike with a sidecar full of fishing gear??? holy crap!
now there's a visual.

but ya know what? when things like this happen... i think it really makes a person appreciate what they have. all the complaining and whining i do about dumb stuff---- and somethin like this comes along. life changing possibly. what a bunch of crap.
but hey-- if nothin else-- it sure is a wake up call. so much could have been different.

and also... it is nice to see y'all checkin in, i miss all of you-- and i hope you know how much i appreciate your well wishes.

apparently i'm still not all with it--so just bear with me til i get it together-- i'll be my ole soul-self soon. i hope.