Sunday, January 30, 2011

i've been skewered.....

stick me with a fork... i am soooo done.  burnt.  fried.   toast. i wish i could say i was 'finished'.  but that is not the case.  i still have tons to do, but this body of mine sure is sore, and done. kaput. finito. ruined. wrecked belly-up, burned out, wiped out  ... ok - i'll stop.   but i am DONE.  stick a fork in me - done.  BLEH....

i did get a chance to go outside and play a little the other day.  the sun was shining, it was a beautiful day out, so i went fishin.  i didn't catch anything, but it was still just nice to be outside for a while in the fresh air and sunshine for a couple hours.  i didn't really try very hard to catch anything, it was fun just to be by the water in my kind of weather.

yesterday though, soulman had to go pick up a few things, and on his way home he made a pit stop at 'his' pond....  he put forth more effort than i did, aside from bein at a different body of water --- and looky what he dragged in --  dawg.  :))  -- that's his size 13 shoe next to it ---

                                                          i was only a little jealous :))

tomorrow is supposed to be another real nice weather day -- high 60's.  i'm hopin we can take a few minutes and enjoy some of it... otherwise, it's another kill ourselves around here day.  we're makin progress -- spring cleaning , purging stuff on out of here, - soulman built a dining table -- kinda -- i'll show ya next time,  just a lot of work goin on.  i'm only good for a few hours in the morning - then i'm ruined by 3 or so.  but we're gettin there. 

be good peoples -

Friday, January 28, 2011

i'm always late - but in sloth time i'm actually prompt

just tryin to make myself not look so bad there.  i've meant to get in here for days and get those pix i promised up-- i just got busy.  maybe i'm not such a sloth these days after all . 
my mother in law (Mommason) is coming in a few days , to watch soulkid graduate, and i have been killing myself trying to get things in order, and get caught up on all my business stuff, and also the pre - graduation biz - getting her to her final exams etc -- which -- she passed - with flying colors!!!  woo hoo !!!  then , getting her grad-gown paid for -delivered- picked up and pressed , gettin her shoes and outfit for graduation day.  i've been out doin somethin just about every single day for a couple weeks, and if i haven't been out - i've been workin in the house.
then this passed three days i have been hammered with some crazy back pain.  almost unforgiving.  and relentless.  yesterday - it was literally do- or die, i had to go to the grocery store.  i was literally forced to use a motorized scooter to shop in.  it was the first time i have done major shopping in one of those, and i have to admit- i think i shrunk a little inside.  them things though?  i gotta say they hold a ton more shit than i ever thought they did.  i spent a fortune.  but we were out of every damn thing in the house.  sure feels good to have some food in this place.  and all the other necessities.  we have been forced to eat fast food for the last week.  that or pantry leavin mystery dinners.  it's not been fun, but we have all been busy in our own ways lately .

i always get sticker shock - or panic when i overspend -- but then i remember to thank God we can afford to eat.  there's been times we couldn't.

i also realized - at the store - that not everybody is an asshole in this world.  although i didn't except it-- at the register , two different women, that didn't work there - asked if i would like them to help me unload my basket.  i declined , but it did make me feel good.-- and you know me-- it did embarrass me a little too.  but again-- i gotta say -- without the scooter? there is no way possibly that i could have completed that task pushing a cart.  not in the pain i was in... and honestly?  in my current condition--- i wouldn't have been able to push that cart after about the first ten or fifteen minutes into it.  face it folks.  i'm ruined.  i have passed my limit.  this really sucks.  perhaps by admitting it and realizing it -- i can stop letting it beat the hell out of me, and just deal with it and make the appropriate changes eh?  instead of letting it beat me... and hide at home feeling defeated. i say i can't shop -- but i did.  i didn't like the way i had to do it ... but i got it done.. and it didn't kill me.  and i also say i can't cook -- but guess what?  i cooked last night-- and i promised hubby that tonight i would cook again.  it's been way too long that i been sayin 'i can't'... that really isn't 'me'.. all it does is depress me, or guilt me.  today -- i'm re-claiming my damn life-

ok... where that came from -- i don't know.  more for me i guess. just kinda spillin thoughts maybe.

anyhow -- here's some pix i was talkin about the other day ----

this is the one i bought   -- for 50 +$

this is the other one i saw later --- for 210.00 !!!!

this is a cool corner shelf i got -- cuz i have too much crap and no where to put it!

i saw a ton of other stuff i wanted to get -- but i had to stop spendin money.  i can't wait to go back !!!
they had an awesome antique bed i wanted to get for my guest room... i would have got it -- woulda had to use a credit card - but i would have splurged --- but --- the mattresses - which were in like new condition - didn't go with it.  i can't afford that and new mattresses - so i had to pass.  it was real nice though.  my mommasson would have loved it.  oh well. it was best i didn't get it .  (700.00)
i do plan to do the guest room in antiques tho.  i have a good start already -- scattered throughout the house :))

anyhow -- as usual, i have a busy day ahead -- so i better get started --
hope y'all have happy days in your worlds -- and better weekends ahead !

it's gonna be 70 glorious degrees here in soulland today !!!!  if i was smart - i'd put my work off and go FISHIN !!!  hmmmmm....  i really should go huh?  help me ease my conscience and put off my responsibilities.  it won't be 70 degrees again maybe for the rest of 'winter.'  i deserve to fish don't i?  70 !  inside workin?  outside playin?  inside?  outside?  fresh air?  stinky litter/pet/ heater air?  fish?  work?   sun?  artificial light?

ok i'll stop.

happy friday !!!!

Monday, January 24, 2011

someone's havin a baby!!!!!

NO - not MY baby -- my sisters baby!  the baby boy of the family was the first to marry , and now the first to have a baby!  we are all soooo excited.  i got a call from my sister a couple weeks ago , but she insisted i keep my yap shut until i got the ok to blab.  so here i am -- blabbin my head off !  'Logan" called last night and told us the news.  this will be the first new baby in the family since soulkid!  16 years!  we are thrilled.  for them and for all of us.  he is very happy and so is his new bride - Beth.  they've been married a little over a year -- maybe goin on two.  bad me - already forgot their anniversary -- i think it's june -- year before last?? ugh. shut up - i have it written down!
aren't y'all excited?  oh man i am.  i must admit - i am a little nervous too.  some of you know - but for those who don't -- soulkid was the last and only baby i have held -- or loved.  i'm kind of allergic to babies.  it's a PTSD thing.  seriously.  i don't want to get into it right now.  but it isn't for lack of wanting to 'be with babies'.  it's a real thing.  it's a physical and mental thing.  i think some healing is on the way.  i refuse to let this insane fear get between me and this baby.  

hubby and i are already talkin and planning on saving up for a trip to chicago when the baby is born.  i won't miss this for the world !  we may not be there on the birth day - that might be kind of difficult to plan out.  but we sure will be there shortly after .  a baby.  a BABY!!!   woo hoo !!!

in other news?  there is none.  nothin new anyhow.  'cept i think i had some kind of manic attack this passed few days.  i have been on some kind of money - that we don't have - spending spree .  :((  buyin furniture!  that we have no room for.  WTH??  but - on the bright side?  i got some pretty good deals.  antiques.  i think it's the headache.  yup- still have it.  maybe it's a tumor- causing me to spend money? 

i'll try to come back later and get pix up -- maybe tomorrow -- and show ya what i got.  i bet some of y'all woulda got it too.  one of em?  i got on mark down - for around fifty bucks -- walked about half the store down, saw somethin similar-- and it was 210.00 !!!  so hey - if i end up not findin a place for it - i could flip it and make some money!  i would like to keep it tho - i have wanted one for years.  cool stuff.  so check back for pix. k

anyhow -- i gotta get this party started round heah -

happy mondays in your worlds peeps-

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


'sup peoples?  not much exciting going on out here in my texas world.  the weather gods are bein rather kind lately.  i won't complain about that.  we've been in the 40's and 50's for several days runnin.  rain and wind is expected - but i'll worry about that when i see it.  i always hope for the weather guessers to be wrong when it sounds lousy.  a lot of times they are.

anyhow - i don't remember if i have put a pic up yet of the soulchilds jeep yet??  if not here it is -- still in need of -- a new carb.  ugh.  we got it on order last night .  kill meh.  we both thought soulman would be able to rebuild the original one... didn't happen.. it was a piece o' crapola.  better to just get a new one and not worry about failing emissions and doing more work later.  (i know- lousy pic - i thought i had one on my phone - but it's gone :(( - so i went out and took one -- with my car in the way -

it's nice actually - and she loves it -- that's the most important thing of all.  it has a hard top , a roll bar , and A/C - which are rare for this model and year - '88 jeep - 'somethin' - i'll get back to you on that.  :))
but - the price was good - and they held it til we could pay it off... BUT - parts are gettin expensive already.  we had to break out a paid off credit card yesterday for almost 700.00 worth--- you know that is pure pain for me.  but i do want it on the road as fast as possible.  i swear i'm gonna have a coronary - if she doesn't stop drivin soulman's truck. 

on the bright side?  soulkid does have a job interview lined up this week-- and is graduating on 2-5.  so it aint all negative -- as much as it sounds like it sometimes.  :((  she really is a good kid.  y'all just don't know how proud and happy we are to see her graduating.  you know there were times we didn't think she'd finish school - much less graduate!  :))  now a job, and a car... she's gettin there guys .. she just had a rougher road than some.

in other news ....  i am still enduring -- with periods of relief -- a five day long stinkin headache!  WTH?  i hope it's PMS - and not a pre seizure or something like some others i've had like this.  whaaaaa.

that- my friends is about all i have to say at this point.  somehow i stay busy all day every day -- but it just isn't worth talkin (writin) about.  but 'm cleaning, sorting, searchin for tax rct's, goin to dr's, oh -- and guess what else i have found to spend time doin?  would y'all believe that the - number one  x-box widow - has joined forces? LOL -- it's true.  while we were in NM with hubbys fam.. his brother bought a WII.  it looked like a lot of fun.. i was sick there - remember -- i would go to bed early - but i would hear everyone playin it - and laughin and havin a real good time.  i did try to-- note the TRY -- :))  to bowl before we left -- it was fun, but i did suck .  :))  anyhow - a couple weeks ago -- i took my 'new' credit card --- this was before the car stuff -- i would not have done it if i knew what was comin... but yep i got us a wii -- and it actually helps me n hubby spend more time together and it's fun!  who knew right?  he still plays x-box of course -- but not til i have my time with him at night.  this thing's better than marriage counseling.... but not reccomended! y'all know we are our own breed among the normal folks. 

ok -- time to get goin here --
hope you all have happy days in your worlds today!
i'm workin on it - and considering --- i'm doin pretty good lately -
latah tatahs

Sunday, January 16, 2011

fill in the blanks? i AM the blank!

howdy folks-
what are you doin up at this hour?  i'm askin myself the same question.  i was actually sleepin pretty good up until about half an hour or so ago. that's when it happened. i woke up - for no reason at all.  not new for me.  it's nearly a nightly occasion for me -- and usually happens several times during the night.  i'm about to go nuts because of it.  i couldn't tell ya the last time i slept a full night through.  it gets very irritating.  and draining.  and it is making me become one bitchy soul.  anyhow.  like i said -- sleepin like a baby-- then suddenly wide awake!  hubby was sound asleep next to me, but the cats - two of them were raising havoc.. climbing all over each of our bed tables -- scrounging for water glasses.  i got smart and got a sports bottle for mine -- or when i do use a glass - i set in in my drawer and close it just tight enough that if the cats get it - it doesn't spill over.  i don't know what's come over them.  they didn't used to do this.  now it's every night.  anyhow - there i am.. just waitin for them to spill somethin, i of course had a freakin migraine - again.  so- i smoke a cig, hopin to relax the headache away and just fall asleep.  did it happen?  oh hell no.  first- jitterbug, does spill a glass of water on hubby's table.  i 'hissed' at her - that woke up hubby - he was pissed cuz of course he was sleepin real good.  but he had to save his cell phone - and check for any other potential damage or hazards over there due to the spillage.  you know that did wonders for my attempting to relax my headache away.  it instantly got worse. even into my neck.  of course he was back to sleep in three minutes or less.. and the next thing i knew -- i'm stabbing an imitrex shot in my leg !  i then went ahead and got up to give the damn cats some water -- to stop the insanity!  once i was UP- i was UP.  and guess what?  here i am.
the good news? my headache is gone.. and i think gettin on the computer was a big mistake-- cuz i'm not tired anymore.  :((   perhaps a xanax will be in order shortly.  i have too much on my list for tomorrow to spend it catching up on a bad nights sleep.

some good news?  soulkids jeep is now paid off and in our drive-way!  phew.  well, one would think.  but- there was a couple things soulman failed to tell me when we bought it.  well.. i knew it needed carb work.. it came with parts tho- and i know he can fix those.  so i thought - no big deal.  but... yeh, another 'but', now that it's here , and i thought she would be rollin on her very own wheels in like two days?  ummm, well.... no.  that won't happened.  it has never needed to be smogged- emissions tested.  guess what -- it now needs to be - before we can register it.  and with a bad carb-- and maybe fuel pump- or filter probs -- no tellin when - or how long it will take to get it in that kinda shape.  especially on soulmans schedule.  oooh yay!

do i need to tell y'all the i have not let soulkid drive my car since the accident?  i didn't think so- but just in case -- i haven't.  soulman lets her drive his -- but she has not and will not touch mine.  so far- no problems -- except for the fact, that every time she goes anywhere -- i'm in a constant panic attack!  if he wasn't such a sucker- she wouldn't drive at all til her jeep was on the road-- with liability only insurance!  ugh.  i can't go through another wreck.  just worrying about another is about to put me in the ground.  erg!

other than that?  i guess i shall go back to bed. i hope i can get back to sleep.  soulkid is graduating high school -- did y'all ever think the day would come?  i am so proud of her!  that will be on the fifth- and her gramma is coming on the 4th to watch and visit a few days.  do you think my house is 'guest ready'?
if you said 'hell no'  you'd be correct.  it's close.  but the upstairs -- the soulkid cave -- looks like hell ran through-- five dozen times.  and downstairs just needs a good organizing and 'spring cleaning. '  but at the rate i move these days-- i'll be lucky to finish before my mommason arrives. 

do y'all think i worry too much?  i'm sure it'll all get done.  i just panic alot.  about everything.

haelP me-

g'night peeps -
i'll catch ya 'round sometime soon.
happy days to ya -- sunday i hope... if you're up now-- go back to bed dammit!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

a new baby , and a migraine -

sounds like party time to me !
more like bed time.  yep that's where i'm headin.  me and my headache.  i've been tryin to get a post up here for days though, but it just happened yet.  so here's a quick howdy to y'all, and hopefully i will get a chance tomorrow to fill in some blanks for ya.  it's been real busy around here lately, so if i'm not runnin around, i'm tryin to stay warm.  it's been freezin out here.  burrr

so yeh, there's a new member of the soul clan.  i am in love :))

isn't she purty?  i fit so much better in it.  it has built in GPS.  extra room for my fishin rods and stuff, and it's fun to drive!  i don't have to strain my neck to try to see out of it - or behind me.  it's better in a dozen ways than the toyota. 

that's all i can say for now -- my head is about to blow off my shoulders -- not fun.

catch you peeps tomorrow - maybe

i hope all is well in your worlds - ok here - just busy-

Thursday, January 6, 2011

"oh my hell" is right !

hiya peeps- and top o' the ,mornin to ya!what's goinin on in your worlds lately?  i reckon if you've been readin what little i been writin here- you have a bit of an idea what's up in my world.  BUT -- just after i finished a cry baby email to a friend of mine about my wrecked car and the stress that follows the unknown that goes with it -- hubby walked in the room and said -- he just got a call from our insurance company!  would y'all believe --- they TOTALLED my car!?  i had no idea there was that much damage.  it trashed the rear axle -- which i think is where the tranny is.. (like a trans-axle) it was leakin brake fluid, the rear tire got smashed in - so i guess the tie rods/bearings etc were trashed,the rear door and quarter panel were trashed,  and i guess the air bags were defective cuz none deployed. -- that was surprising. - shocking even. the car has side airbags and none of those deployed either-- with that force it would seem some of them would have blown.  personally we're glad they didn't -- she rides right up on the steering wheel-- even though i have talked to her about the damage an air bag can cause with her so close like that.  i think she now realizes she needs to sit further back.  if it woulda deployed she coulda broke her little neck.  :((

so- hey-- on the bright side?  looks like i'm gonna get out of my high car payments i been cryin about for two years, that'll be a relief.  i'll still have to get a loan.. but i sure aint gettin a brand new car.  no way.  i hate car payments.  ugh.  especially for as little as i drive.  a little 4 or 5 thousand putt putt will do me just fine.  anybody got got one?

so anyhow -- the wondering and the waiting is over.  that was killing me! i couldn't even slep at night. torture i say!  last night i bet i woke up six times -- i'd smoke - or take a pill - fall asleep - just to wake up and hour later.  ugh. rough night.  rough few nights.  but-- around noon we go and sign papers - and move on to step two -- which i hope is car shopping.  even tho i'm very much a shut-in, i feel better at least knowing that i have access to GO- IF i wanna.

things are movin right along - just the way they're sposed to. 

so anyhow-- i owe you all visits -- and as soon as things get settled down a bit here with the car and the house and my crazy mind-- i'll be right ovah !

happy days to each and every one of you--

i shall keep you posted on the situation at hand in soulland  :))