Wednesday, September 30, 2009

random little blue pill splatter -- i mean babble

good ev-en-ing folks,

i know it's only like 830 p.m, but i should really be asleep. my head hurts.. along with the rest of me. i've also already taken my bed meds... yeh i know-- there is a danger of laptop strangulation... but i just had the urge to get a few things up here... before i either forget--or run out of time in the morning to do it.

hubby hung my picture tonight. so i took a couple shots of that to show y'all. some of you don't know my whole 'story', but for those who do -- you should know why this picture 'reached out' to me the way it did. it just 'spoke to me'. ya know. i really just 'had to have it!'

(feel free to click to enlarge photos)

it matches my curtains --
as well as my hutch, and the angels etc on top of it-


mommason is in the center,
her son, and my hubby-- obviously -- in the back.
aunt wanda to your left-- aunt linda to your right.

(aren't they sweeT ?)

they all crack me up-- and i loved them all the moment i met them..
can you believe it? like 19 years ago !
good Lord.
not one thing in my life has lasted that long.
cept soulman and his family.
everyone and everything else ?
came and went=
or had periods of -- well i don't know.
inconsistency? nonexistence?
or the obvious-- death.

so--- let's move on, shall we?

Here we have:
obviously, the infamous Soulkid, and Soulman.

aren't they lookin good?
soulman lookin all 'skinny' N sit :))
and my girl-- in PUBLIC-- like THAT -- i'm flabbergasted !

and ya know i had to throw Spot in here....
still doin real good.
seems real happy and content-- not mean and mad, or nuthin.
phew. i really was afraid she would hate everybody.

and last but -- yeh ok - for tonight it IS least
or is it.
what does that even mean?
i just SAY shit. whatever.
but here is my
'song of the week'

bon jor

where does the time go???

howdy folks--

i can't believe it's already wednesday. geesh. time does fly.

i haven't had much time to post these last couple days. sorry bout that. i do think about y'all tho. i have tried to make my rounds, but only managed to hit a few of y'alls pages.

you know, my 'in-laws' came to visit. my mommason, and two of her sisters. they got here on - ummm, monday. yeh, that's it. we all had some decent visiting time that night-- then went to dinner at macaroni grill. it's been a very long time since i've eaten there, and i don't know why. it was soooo yummy. loud though. maybe that's why. and we had to sit right near the kitchen , and all that added noise, because of the size of our group-- 6 of us. but it was good, and it was fun. we were all full as ticks when we left. they went back to their hotel and we headed home from the restaurant - we got home at like 8 p.m -- and i went directly to bed. man i was hurtin so bad someone coulda shot me and i woulda thanked em for it. ugh.

anyhow- yesterday- the soul clan had long days - so i got to spend the entire day with the in- laws. we had a lot of fun. mostly we just hung out here at the house. but all the traveling etc, had them worn out to the bone... they were all three yawning and ready for a nap. i told them i wouldn't mind. but of course they wanted to visit. so i came up with this brilliant idea to go down the road to an antique shop--- they got all kindsa fired up about that. we all enjoyed it actually. i've been there twice now-- there's still more to see.

i found a wonderful picture-- print..??? whatever it is... i was mesmerized by it. it literally stopped me in my tracks. when i finally snapped to-- i checked the price. it was hung high on the wall, and y'all know i can't see shit-- my mommason had stumbled upon me by then, and we were both just gazing at this beautiful picture. i asked her if i could possible be reading the price right. i thought i might be missing a 1. ya know as in the hundred. it can't possibly be this CHEAP. this just doesn't happen to me. my champagne taste with a beer budget thing ya know. it seems everything that reaches out to me in this way-- is waaaaay over my measly budget. but it was-- the lady that works there walked up-- "isn't that the most beautiful thing?"
we said YES, how much is it!?
she took it off the wall and read the price. it really was TWO digits !
woo hoo !!!
best of all? i didn't even have to pay for it-- :)) mommason bought it for a house warming gift ! and i will love it forever ! (i will put a pic up later when hubby puts it on the wall k?

so anyhow---
on to my kitty. spot. she was declawed on... shit... that was monday too. she did great. she didn't even attack any of the vet staff :)) i took her home yesterday, and she is as sweet as pie. hmmm. is this the same cat i took in?



she's doin great.. and gets her bandages off this morning.

jitterbug goes in on the 2nd. i can't wait!!! no more worrying and stressin over my furniture and stuff. it'll be like losin 100 pounds off my back!

ahhh--- speakin of my back. dare i cry baby? do you really wanna hear it? i bet you don't. i won't say much. just that my back and neck are F'N killing me! i have an appointment with my doc this mornin-- after i take the kid to school-- and the cat to get her bandages off. ugh-- busy mornin eh. anyhow-- i called them on .. i guess, monday. lots happened on monday looks like. but i woke up and could hardly move. even the water from the shower hurts like hell. i may as well be gettin beat with a baseball bat! i don't know what-- if anything they can, or will do for me there, but i just have to go in, and let them know how bad this is. i',m also seriously thinking about postponing the left side rhizotomy scheduled on the 5th. i think that would just be a huge mistake to feel like this on both sides. on purpose. i wouldn't be able to drive---at all. i don't know what to do. but this really sucks.
but. as usual. over all? i'm doin ok.

so. on that happy note-- i am off to start my day.

hope y'all have wonderful days in your worlds today-
catchya latah-

Sunday, September 27, 2009

sunday slurrs --

happy sunday peoples--

i don't think i have much to say right now; just a little updating i reckon.

first of all : Soulkid had a blast with her little mini-post the other day. it was a great ego boost for her, and i also was able to tell her little stories about the folks who left her comments. Mary, and Gypsy - it was good for her to know little things about you as 'real people'. as for Smocha-- you literally rendered her 'speechless'. that's why she didn't answer you (here). maybe i can talk her into emailing you .
anyhow--- as for the later comments - Angie- Brenda - EE-- she said-- and i quote---
"i'm NOT answering ANYmore comments. i'm not gonna be some weird miniblogger!"

THAT cracked me up!!! the my space queen -- doesn't want to be a 'mini - blogger' ?
hahahahaha whatever. she loves every minute of it !! and we all know it. but we'll just let her be cool. k. nuthin personal peeps. she's a brat. i mean , a kid. haha

anyways, as for the movie the other night. 'Jennifers Body.' omg. what a crazy movie. so obviously aimed at teens-- yet rated R -- what sense does that make? when i was a kid they weren't so strict about movies etc-- now they actually card these kids-- but -- not sure if they know it-- the kids pay for a pg movie for the same time-- and 'sneak' into the R on they wanna see. hmmm. it's not rocket science. (hi ang!)

so anyways.... that movie is soooo bad. not bad in the sense of don't waste your money bad. if you like that kinda thing-- wait for the DVD.. it is worth watching-- in it's own warped way. does that make sense? i have no idea how to 'rate' this movie.
it is supposed to be a thriller. yet it is comedic in places-- but it's supposed be. people in the theater-- laughed at stuff-- yet actually jumped or screamed at parts too. me included. it's really a stupid movie-- and i wouldn't have chosen to see it -- if soulkid din't choose it for us. btw-- she had already seen it the weekend prior-- in the manner mentioned above. ugh-- BUT we knew she would do that-- she's done it before, but this time-- soulman drove her and her friends-- and legitly attempted to buy their tickets-- the theater wouldn't let them be 'unattended'. so--- he bought them tickets to something else. as soon as he told me the story-- i said-- "you KNOW they'll sneak into the other one." of course she came home telling us all about 'jennifers Body!'
whaddaya do right?

so anyhow--- we had fun. just me and my kid. we only had one 'scrap' in the car on the way-- and i was afraid the entire night would be in the toilet for it-- but it wasn't. we adjusted our attitudes, and all went well.
me-- of course 'the walking wallet' ... where does she come up with this stuff? -- bought her some clothes-- she actually needed some for school, and the changing weather. so i didn't mind. i even got myself a pair of jeans. that i almost never do. i still wear clothes i've worn for ten years. anyhow-- we shopped, we ate, then we went to the movies. and we did good. no more arguing. lots of laughing. jokin around. and guess what? not much pain for me. i usually avoid going to the mall at all.... i hate it... it hurts me, then i get them mad cuz i walk too slow or i get grouchy cuz i hurt etc--- my legs held up better than they have in two years!!!! :)) that made both of us happy. i did get a little tired at our last store-- so i sat down for a few-- but she didn't mind-- didn't stop her from her shopping frenzy :)) ugh.
i'm soo glad at least I am low maintenance. if not for my cheapness-- we'd all be nekkid-- well, cept the princess :))

ok--- so anyhow-- mooovin on to the next topic--- i know your excited to hear my boring life's details .. but hey-- for the life I live? ya gotta admit, a LOT happens around here. huh? :))

so anyhow-- i guess it was friday--? -- maybe. i got up my nerve and i called the moving company involved in my 'robbery'. i was all kindsa fired up and ready to 'Gran Gran' the guy. well... can we say back peddle? how bout embarrassed?
cuz that's what i was, and what i did. i get the guy on the phone. actually i had to leave a message-- then he called me back. and like i said a couple days ago-- he really has cooperated all the way thru this entire mess. so he's on the line-- i'm all fired up and ready to go off and 'be tough'... ugh... he was the nicest guy in the world.
i shriveled . what could i do. we ended up having a civil conversation--- oh... AFTER i threatened to SUE him. :(( --- we talked for prolly half an hour. cop-bashing. sharing stories of how each of us have been robbed and the cops don't do a thing about it. etc.
turns out on 9-11 of all days in the calender year to have a BIG truck stolen... he had one stolen.. and two others attempted to be stolen.... when he reported it the cops treated it like it was no big deal. ummm, skuze me... the DFW area had JUST had a terror threat!!!
did the police find his truck? or even look for it? ummm NO. he sent his crew out to look for it and THEY found it. vandalized, broken steering column, broken glass etc etc. the cops didn't want to even take prints or try to find out who did it-- 'well you got your truck back.'
i actually felt bad for the guy.

so anyhow--- i guess when he sent signatures last week... they were only of the one guy--- he is sending signatures from the other suspect now -- and maybe (no more "hopefully" outta me on this one) just maybe -- those will match??? we shall see.

so-- i spose since the case is still open i better hurry over and remove my assholes -- i mean suspects name from my other post. just for good measure.

not much else goin on here.

oh except preparing for tomorrow. lots happenin tomorrow-

my mommason is coming with two of her sisters. it has been a long time since we've seen them. so we are all excited. And have a lot of work around the house to do.

also--- tomorrow - sushi goes back to the vet to have her spay stitches removed. i think she will be very happy about that-- they seem to be really bothering her.

aaaaaaand ... guess what else? spot! she goes to the vet toooooo------ for her long awaited de-claw. BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

ooooh i wish i had the nerve to do them both on the same day! ok, it's money. but if i had the money to both cat's at once--- they'd both be goin in.....

i shall post photos of the devil child when she comes home... she has to stay overnight for observation. i really am worried, and i do feel bad. neither cat has ever even been to the vet-- she's gonna be a scared little baby. but just think--- it's her own damn fault :))
besides-- she'll get her shots too-- and she really does need those. so it's for the good of all cat- kind in the household :))

ok i spose i will get me some mo coffay, and hit a few blogs before i have to get to cleanin my sty :))

happy sunday in your worlds peeps-

it's HOT here-- how bout 'there'?

Friday, September 25, 2009

Guest post from soulkid

I <3 my mom

My mère d'âme (soul mom :p) failed to tell you, to keep herself busy we're going to the movies after school to see Jennifer's body because I love megan fox and I watched their lame No Country For Old Men movie :) plusss my mom is kind of a walking wallet I guess. But she's also a wonderful woman! Gooooodbye :)

the awaited 'good news'

y'all won't believe the latest news on the soulkid front. i'm so proud of my baby.
not sure if i mentioned this-- but one of her classes in school is Theater. she doesn't act. but she works behind the scenes. she does sets, and costumes, and stuff like that.
well... she texted me from school on wednesday to tell me that SHE was chosen as "costume manager!" for the fall play!
-- and ended up havin her phone taken up-- that little mistake cost us 15 bucks-- even though she was talkin to ME... and i had , by then told her twice- to put the phone away!... she got busted texting in class. ugh. but she is just thrilled about it. and i have to say, i am so proud of her i could bust wide open !!! i know some of you remember the hell this whole family has been through this last couple years trying to help her get straightened out, and find a passion --- other than the one that was dragging her to hell.
obviously, she found it.
she is excited about school this year--- she is even passing EVERY class !!! even MATH !!!! when have you heard me say that???

she's shakin it off peeps-- all that poison is leaving her body. she thinks straight-- she FEELS-- and she actually treats us with real respect!!! she even apologized about something to her dad last night--- without me telling her to. all i said was i think some stuff she was saying as a joke was actually bothering him--- she apologized !!!!
y'all, my baby is growin up :))
she's still one of those... whaddaya call em? oh, horrible creatures we call teenage girls.... but she is ranked right up there with the 'normal spoiled brat ones. ' :))
NOT 'most likely to go to prison' ! (anymore.)

i am just beaming with pride over her. she's beautiful. she smiles! not sarcastic for the sake of smiling smiles. she is happy. she is happy with her goals, her accomplishments, and who she is becoming. and most importantly--- who she left behind.

they say in AA/NA -- you only have to change ONE thing. that's 'everything'.
and really she has. playpens and playmates were tough. she held on to only two-- they were the two friends that i knew she wouldn't be able to let go-- but those girls were just 'experimenting with teenage freedom-and made some mistakes.'
the friends she had that i wanted to strangle or get protection orders against? :)) -- she dropped them --- on her own. when we pushed-- she pushed back. when we let her go a little to make her own decision-- in her case, between life and death---- she let the old crowd go.

could this be the same kid i bitched about, cried over, cracked up over, and with no other option, turned completely over to God? folks. she is. and she's turning out just great !

ok. enough bragging on my girl. y'all knew already she'd come around. even when i thought she would never have a chance. she's doin it.

so. as for the other stuff around here? i guess i'm just not gonna feed into it. cheryl mentioned how "they" could control my emotions. ugh. and boy did they yesterday. i was the pity pot queen yesterday. i hate to be that way. so, i reckon i will just try to stay busy today. i also need to try to find some 'replacement' values on my stuff they took. i think that in itself will take half the day. i will have to get new AND used prices. ugh.
but-- once i have that, i will call-- or email the movers, and let them decide if they want to go to court-- or just settle.. without the mess. a settlement would be good. y'all know my social/court phobia. just cut me a check please. thank you. UGH

i still think this whole flippin thing hasn't even sunk in yet. whattabunchaCRAP

well peeps--
on that happy note-- i do hope you all have happy days in your worlds today--
i reckon i'll do what i can.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Hope Floats . . .

well. that's that. case closed. no arrest. no conviction. no satisfaction. no glory.
can't have nuthin !

'my detective ' called me a while ago. and not with any good news. he got the signatures. unfortunately, he could not make a match. he called them 'inconclusive' .
it's over. lack of evidence. there is nowhere else to go with this. without the tape from the pawn shop -- no clear proof which one pawned the stuff. it's just over and done. and the bad guy wins again. is anybody really surprised ? this is just the way things go for me, and we all know it. i have tried my very best to be patient. i have tried my very best to not dwell on this , and to not think about it all the time. to not bask in thoughts of revenge or even worse -- to wish bad things on these guys. i have really just -- for the most part, as much as i was able-- even more than i ever have before... i left it in the hands of the cops , and in the hands of God to handle this. and i held on to the Hope that it would turn out for the best.

well, guess what? it's true. and even though i did shed a few tears in my defeat after i talked to the detective.... i had to chuckle at the phrase-- hope floats. cuz the other day when hubby and i fished the tournament-- i was telling him towards the end that there was still hope that we could get a big one. he was a little beaten feeling already and said "yeh, well, hope floats!"
we both laughed at that-- and decided the next boat we buy-- will be named 'hope floats' :))
hey-- ya just gotta laugh at some of this crap sometimes right?

unfortunately... right now-- i'm not laughin too much.
i am gonna let it soak in a little more, then go pick up copies of the police report--- and from there, i spose i need to figure out how to sue:


(i had the name of the company here earlier-- i decided to remove it until i talk to them. i jumped the gun a bit there maybe by throwin their name up here. they have been cooperative, and did fire both the guys 'involved'. so. i'll give them a chance to settle this before i throw their name around. especially when i'm pissed off.)

( 9-27: well, i had assholes name here too-- but had to remove it as well, because the case is actually still 'open'. )

and-- just so ya know-- i have some good news too-- i just have to go for now-- i will share it later-- or tomorrow when i feel a little better.

be happy folks

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

never a dull moment --

howdy peeps !

top o' the mornin to ya-

so. guess what? i finally remembered what i wanted to say here yesterday. ugh. damn memory. or lack of. anyhow---
i have -- well, i got some potentially good news! the other day - when i had my procedure done on my back, i got up from a nap--- actually it was more an escape from the pain -- but soulman says "hey, guess who called me today?"
hmmm, lessee? who could that be?
so i start to guess a few times-- by the time i hit my third guess, i of course was Damien. umm, i mean , kinda irritated. i didn't feel like playing. i just wanted to know. ya know? :O
he finally spits it out--
"patrick, from the moving company!"
'ooooh... what did he have to say?'

turns out, he had SIX signatures he needed to get to 'my cop'. hahahahahah. soulman said fax that shit asap.
i'm sure hoping that he did. this could be the break we've been 'patiently waiting' for! :))

so anyhow-- that was , what? -- monday, right. well, i'm gonna call my detective today and see if he got those signatures, and i hope i hope i hope-- he made a match !!!!! (to the signature on the pawn ticket) .
you know i don't have ANY expectation of getting a thing back that belongs to me. i'm almost sure it's been sold to a melting place , and is now entirely something- and somebody elses.
but now-- i am out for justice. or revenge if that's the word you want to use. it has been extremely difficult for me, and soulman both, to let the cops handle this in a civil manor--- rather than goin out and bustin heads -- or whatever other stupid idea has crossed our minds.

perhaps there really is something to this "patience" thing.?

anyhow-- if i get any new news i will be sure to letya know.

ok---- what else? hmmm. well, for one thing-- it's 7 a.m. and i haven't heard one alarm go off yet. this IS a school day right? yeh, thought so. i don't wanna go up the stairs, but i reckon it might not be a bad idea. i could check out my legs. they really do feel lots better since the rhizotomy--- but i also had a lumbar steroid epidural-- that's what i think made the difference in my legs. i guess i've been a big baby lately -- protecting myself- trying not to hurt anything. but today seems pretty good. nothin miraculous. aside from my legs. the rest of me still feels pretty much for the norm.

except----the weirdest thing is-- i can get an itch or somethin on the back of my neck. i go to scratch or move my hair-- or whatever.... it's all extremely NUMB there. i have feeling inside etc--- but to touch it-- i almost don't feel it. make sense? weird. i hope that part changes. very strange. i'll give it a couple more days before i get weird about it.

soooo anyways-- i guess that's it for today around here..
spose i best venture up the stairs to wake my child.

ooooh i think i hear the shower!!! tell me she's up! i don't wanna go upstairs., ok i will. ugh.

happy humpday folks !

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

or so they say --

at least that's what i've heard.
i did survive yesterday's medical stuff . as the initial meds from the hospital wore off, the pain that i really thought i would not have-- well, it came in hard as fast. we dropped off my rx's on the way home, and the way i was feeling i wasn't worried about waiting the few hours we had to wait before soulkid would be gettin out of school. well, that didn't last very long. after a couple hours the meds wore off, and i was hurtin. i had a couple muscle relaxers left from my previous rx-- so i took one... half an hour later? nothin. i took the other one--- again ? nothin. finally i asked soulman if he would go pick up the pain rx. no prob he said. he went up there, next thing i know--- he calls and the damn insurance company is havin a fit. they want to make me wait a week--- cuz they didn't kow that after my last trip to the doc, when i got the shots, i didn't react well, and the dr. authorized me to take a higher dose-- so of course , i was out in three weeks rather than four. ugh. soulman had to go through such a big hassle-- even after over half an hour there at the pharmacy with the phone calls and back and forth crap-- ended up, comin home, i called my dr office, they called the pharmacy, he had to go back out finally-- pay cash--- drop the meds off-- then go right back out to pick up the child at school. ugh. insurance are such idiots. even though they were authorized--- told my dose was raised-- they still refused to fill it til the 28th. ummm.... NO. so anyhow that was all settled, the kid got home, soulman made a really yummy dinner.

AND my darling DR House premiered !!! i have to say though-- i was a bit irritated at how they sort of glamorized the psyche ward. anyone who has ever visited one of those delightful places , knows that everything they prtrayed about it was WRONG.
but-- i was thrilled to see my show back on.

next week "Lie to me" starts. i love that show too.

and hells kitchen and survivor are already goin.

american idol will be startin soon--- but i have a feelin that i may be at the end of the road with that one. too many changes. just not sure yet. i won't know til i see it.

ok, what else? i was gonna talk about somethin else--- do i remember? ummm, no. dammit.

well, while i'm thinkin about it-- i never told you that sushi came through her spay perfectly fine. no probs-- no friggin kennel cough.
our last min-pin, before her-- who died.. not from a spay... but we tried to save money-- it was maybe 40 -50 dollars less at the el cheapo clinic. they herded these poor animals - cats and dogs , through like cattle goin to slaughter. she had kennel cough for over a year--- it was horrible for her-- and us. poor little thing. and she was verry little . she only weighed 4 lbs. sushi at least is a mutant-- and strong enough to fight off colds and things. chicklet just couldn't. so-- we swore-- no more el cheapo shit for our babies. it's just not worth it to try to save a few dollars, then let the poor cat or dog suffer so much.

anyhow--- next on the chopping block is spot. she goes in on the 28th???? i think. for her de-claw. and yes-- i will put pix up. oh-- speak of the little bitch now-- i hear her scratchin on my office chair now. ugh. this next week won't pass quick enough.
yep-- i am worried about my kitties. but at the same time , i'm not. i trust our vet, and i'm sure the kitties will be fine. they said the thing that bothers the cats most is the bandages.... i think it just might be video worthy for the blog--- crazy cats tryin to get their bandages off. also of them attempting to be destructive--yet failing.

anyhow-- i'm pretty scatterbrained--- no idea what i was planning on saying-- so take what ya got-- and i'll be around another time.

happy day in your world today--
laterz y'all

Sunday, September 20, 2009

"they're gonna laugh at you !!!! " OOPS ! and 'Saturdays' photo challenge :))

(y'all remember this lovely scene dontchya?)
from 'Carrie' the mom telling Carrie if she went to the prom?
"They're gonna laugh at you !!"

well anyhow --- i have to admit, that is exactly how i felt this morning, and also exactly the first thing i thought to say... at 3- frickin - thirty in the morning. right after a crated overnight -- due to bad behavior - Eevee -- woke me up BARKING. Ugh. i was already in a not so perfect mood.

THEN... i walk in the kitchen to make coffee. BUT -- what do my horrified eyes find??? YEP, you guessed it.... about two cups of yesterdays coffee in the pot , and an empty -- yes, EMPTY... coffee container on the counter. OMG this just couldn't be happening. but -- it was. at 330 a.m. on a sunday. i nuked me a cuppa, and slowly walked into my office.... well, is there any other way to walk in the morning? especially when ya never know what kind of treat one of the three uncrated animals may have left for me?? ugh. so. you're wonderin if i found anything horrifying, aintchya? haha--- of course, i DID !!!!
and this is when i turned into Gran Gran !!! -- oh so sorry. i mean.. Carries mother -- :))
remember my chairs i mentioned a few days ago? the new/ yet used ones i bought for my office? ugh. just in the matter of days since my sis was here, they look ten times worse. seriously. and she can vouch for me. they look really good-- if you can avert your eyes from where the cats attack them -- the fronts of the arms -- when no one is around to kill them.... i mean discipline them. so anyhow-- i go in there to what i thought, wake up a little , have some coffee, and a cig etc.... i see the ripped up chairs... both cats curled up on one like they own it. can we say "Queen Earlene?" i nearly went into a "can't have nuthin!" -- rage. i threw the cats off one by one and scolded them like they new what i was saying! -- i really am losin it folks.

but seriously--- i AM gonna laugh at them when their nails are completely GONE-- forever and always!!! especially as i watch their confused little faces as they attempt to rip up my walls, and my furniture--- and nuthin happens.
i wonder sometimes if they are really evil and do it cuz they know how much i hate it. i have spent hundreds of dollars on stuff they are allowed to scratch on-- they won't touch it. stuff that i pay for that I am supposed to enjoy? oh no... they love to tear that up. til there's nothing left. oooooh.... i was soooo pissed off.... i just may have to crate the cat's for one more week til they have their nails done. seriously. these chairs won't be worth keeping if i don't do something ... SOON. i just don't get it.
they just hate me.

anyhow-- i'm done with my rant--- well, that one. another may crop up later-- ya never know. right?

so anyhow-- the tourney yesterday--- no luck. we did catch fish-- just didn't win. the deal was, big fish, and little fish... then the top 7 got prizes..... well... i got one fish-- he didn't even squeek by as legal (14 inches) -- as for soulman... he actually caught a LOT of fish. he had maybe 4 in the livewell.. two sqeekers for 'big fish' haha. and two spots for smallest. by the end of the tourney-- you know i was toast. he wasn't far behind. the day itself was finally a nice day. it's been raining for a week straight-- no kidding. finally no rain.. we appreciated that-- and i was just happy to be outside-- and not driving. ugh.
anyhow-- we ran by someone hubby knew-- he said he had one that was about 4 1/2 pounds--- we knew we were no where close to that-- we'd be lucky if our biggest weighed ONE pound. hah. so at the time to head to weigh in we hadn't got anything bigger-- or smaller--- so we just let the fish go-- and we didn't even bother to go to weigh in. we just loaded up and headed home.
turns out the winner took it with an eight pounder--- THAT my friends is a BIG fish. i have yet to catch one that size. still a mere dream in my foggy mind.

we got food on the way home-- and i was the lazy slob that i had been longing to be-- for the whole rest of the night. ahhhhh.
not that it worked out well... but it worked. i plan to remain vertical, at least somewhat so , today. tomorrow..... ugh.... tomorrow.

i'll keep you posted on that. k.

hope y'all have a happy sunday----

as usual, i forgot about the photo challenge-
but= at least this time i did take the pix...
the subject?
MY favorite-- and YOURS
FOOD !!!!!!

(sorry but ya have to click on em)

(even I couldn't eat an 8 pound steak!
i might wanna try sometime :))

(whoever identifies THIS -
gets a mystery prize !
really-- give it a whirl. :))

sorry-- this is a re-run
but it was YUMMY
chile verde stew

and ass but not least
umm, you know what i mean :))
that's a mounted dear ass!
jerky anyone??

Bon' Apetite'

Friday, September 18, 2009

a womans work really IS never done-- tragic i say

well, howdy folks-- and a happy friday to ya--

wussup in your worlds on this fine drizzly day????
here? lots. after i swore, up and down that today would be my day to do absolutely nothing. nada. be in my jammies, and be the laziest slob i could possibly be... well, aside form soulkid school taxi that is. but that is ALL i had on my list for today. my ONLY obligation. ughnfortunately, if you know me at all... that is not the way this day has gone. hmmm. nope. not in the least. i did manage to sleep til about 630 or 7 -- which is pretty good, and actually becoming a nice habit lately. but , once i was up-- i was up and runnin.. well, after about the first half hour of recovery time. that's about how long it takes for the coffee and meds to kick in. but after that? well... it was banks, and bills, and that usual kind of thing. and since i've been so busy-- and neglectful these passed few days on that sort of thing it was a bit of a nightmare. it took a couple of hours to get through it. i gotta admit though-- i was amazed when i finished with my checkbook-- even lacking several receipts--- i managed to exactly match the banks balance to mine -- to a T !!!! whatever that means. who came up with that one i wonder? anyhow--- that rarely --- if ever happens on the first round-- but it did today. i was thrilled.

anyhow--- y'all know-- i'm easy to please .

ok, so anyways... there's more i could bore you with on the business end-- but i won't-- at least not right now :))

but i am reading an unbound , rough draft manuscript, of a book ; authored by a good friend of one of my sisters, and OMG, when she has that thing published (yes she does have a publisher and everything-- just waitin on the final touches. woo hoo) anyways-- when it's on the shelves i will let you know-- cuz if i get my attention tangled into a book this early on... it is a really really good read. y'all must get it. i almost never read... and really, when i do-- i hardly ever finish it. too blind--- too , unable to concentrate... whatever my deal is... i just can't read. as much as i would love to -- i absolutely cannot. maybe one book a year-- out of the maybe half a dozen i attempt.
so yes--- remember--- when i mention this book later on-- it's a MUST READ --K?

ummmm... what else?

i spose not much ... (i just typoed--"not muSh" ) i shoulda left it there... cuz that's my mind today. ugh.

well, looks like the hubby and i will be fishin a bass tourney tomorrow... it's a short one, so hopefully i will survive it... it's only like four hours. it's been ages since we've fished a tourney-- well hell.. it's been forever since we even fished on the boat together. i hope my body holds up. i've really been pushin it lately.

oh.. speakin of the ole bod--- i have the 'rhizotomy' scheduled for monday.
part of me is lookin forward to it--- and of course--- part of me thinks i'm insane for even thinking of such a thing. i saw my pain doc a couple days ago-- whenever my sis left-- and he said he will also do the steroid shots in my lower back at the same time.. that would be lumbar spine-- for you medical nerds like me :)). i don't like the sound of this -- the closer it gets. y'all know i'm a pain whimp. even though it's my life--- i don't relish the thought of bringing more on--- purposely.

haelP me !!!!

well anyhow-- i reckon that's enough outta me for one day-

below is my new favorite song... i'm sure i'll tire of it after about a week... i usually do.. but for now-- i kinda like it-- and it only took me 3 years to even find it. i'm so outta the loop it's a bit scary sometimes isn't it? hmmmm.

hope you all have happy happy weekends peeples!!!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

i just wanna be normalllllllll ---- i wanna go out to lunch = UGH p - date

why can't i just be normal????
guess i should be grateful.
if not for me, then for the others who are gettin their stuff back.
and i am. especially for the lady who is getting her things back from her dead son.
how dare these people. if they be called 'people. mother fuckers!!!
pardon my language , but they deserve no better term than that. animals
is what they are, if that even. at least animals have emotions.
ugh. i am livid. i haven't been there yet, but do have an appointment to go today and look to see if anything I own is there. i can only hope. and i do.
there is a possibility, so i am holding on to the shred of hope that my stuff is there.
if it is, then the police out there will be happy to have a couple of new suspects to look at. and of course i will be thrilled to no end to have my stuff-- and to watch -- no doubt on the news even -- these assholes-- and lots of them -- be hauled in shackles and chains to the cages they belong in . and what a relief that will be.

so anyhow-- my sistah is off and safely at her true home in england , with her husband and her babies; where she belongs. it was a bit hard for me-- and i am sure much more -so for her and them... as i watched her say her good-byes to her friends.
it seemed a little bit weird for me to see her have so many 'true' friends, honestly care for her-- and her for them. it has been a long time since i have spent a lot of time with her -- but when i did -- her kids were young, and she didn't have the opportunity to have that kind of life --- you know , to actually go out and have friends and do things, etc . it was the three kids, hubby, /or single/ stay at home thing.... and i was happy for her... silently. but i know she'll read this-- so now she'll know --
but anyhow-- i was worried her flight may get delayed or even canceled last night -- so i paid for a pretty cool thing for my phone to make sure she got out-- and landed safely and on time-- she did-- even landed early. so anyone wonderin-- there ya have it-- oh-- i already told ya-- hmmm.... senile much?

ok-- anyhow-- i have more--- but it's time to take my child to school-- so i will update around 12 or 1 texas time--- and tell you if any of my stuff was at the police station.
i have a feeling -- there or not-- it will actually be a bit depressing to actually look at all the stuff -- knowing how many peoples lives have been rocked the way mine has in this mess. even if it isn't the same people--- it really is like being physically violated as much as anything. it's just a bad feeling. i want these assholes busted. ugh.

i must go--
be back latah peeps

happy-- day


well, THAT was an experience.
one i hope NOT to repeat again ... ever. it rained the entire way there -- and back. it was also further than i had remembered it being to get out there. UGH. and of course, i hadn't planned on the wait to get in there to look at the stuff being almost an hour long. OR my conversations with the other victims being so gut-wrenchingly pitiful. i did however expect to NOT find anything that belonged to me.... figures i would be correct on THAT part eh?
but. i wasn't the only one who left empty-handed. bummer.
so anyhow, i'm just beat right now. physically, emotionally, and every other way there is to be beat. i have less than an hour before i gotta go get my child, and i'm gonna soak up the silence , and lack of driving the best i can while i have the chance.

see ya tomorrow folks--- if i survive this day that is.
think i could make it through life without driving -- ever again????
me neither--- but one can hope, right?

Monday, September 14, 2009

headin on down the road

well folks--- i'm off like a herd of turtles, as my dear ole dad used to say---

gotta make a pit stop at the doc real quick first, then it's on to my sises place. love. sisterhood. and ... ummm... whatever else ya call it. i got it.

i shall talk to you folks tomorrow sometime. hoping i don't cripple myself , or get arrested for carrying unmarked drugs. they're prescribed , but if i carried them all in the bottles i would need a small suitcase just for them. ugh.

wish us luck. it could be fun...

ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!

see ya soon poops

Sunday, September 13, 2009

knockin em out one by one

my house will soon be an animal recovery room. yep , that's right. each of my FOUR animals are due for surgery within the upcoming few weeks...

first on the chopping block? sushi--- she will be gettin spayed on monday.
second? i think that one is Spot-- my evil, brown recluse of a cat-- she is finally--- ahhhhh, finallleeeeee -- scheduled for de-claw !!!! the last monday in sept.
third? that would be jitterbug-- the most beautiful cat in the world-- ok, aside from cavuto-- who most of you are in love with by now-- but jitty, will be also getting her claws ripped out-- ummm... i mean, being de-clawed, on oct 2nd.
then somewhere in here or shortly thereafter--- eevee will also be getting spayed.

how do you spell R-E-L-I-E-F ?

i just can't take it any-more! none of it. not the blood-- not the yelping-- not the fighting-- squeeling-- peeing--- or ESPECIALLY-- the destruction of my furniture!!!
i have had it !!!! obviously. yep. less than two weeks ago-- i bought two brand new-- but used-- chairs--- not a rip, not a tear-- not a stain--- ugh--- you should see them now. they immediately became scratching posts for the cats-- but of course they know better than to do it when i'm around, so of course-- i only wake up each day-- to a more destroyed chair than i went to bed with . well... hahahahahha.
they can kiss their nails goodbye. finaly! i have put this off for literally years. y'all have heard be bitch about their destruction for years. i am finished with it.
when we moved-- we literally put a 1700.00 couch on the curb !!!! of course-- it was barely worth a goodwill donation by that time-- thanks to the damn cats. but it was very nice at the time my sis gave it to me. especially since when she gave it to me , we were sittin on shit! i loved , and appreciated that couch, and i tried to save and protect it for years. they eventually had it so bad it was duct taped!!! and too humiliated to keep any longer. and now? they are workin on my new chairs-- and would you believe... even my leather couches!!! oh no... it is now down to THEM, or their nails. i say nails. cuz y'all know we love them, and have exhausted all other avenues. and there is no one on this earth that would put up with their behavior-- so-- yep-- it's live with no nails-- or take the needle.

as for the dogs--- ugh... it's just time. sushi yaps the little dog yap--- and bleeds everywhere-- and we do not plan on breeding her-- so it's just time.

as for eevee..same thing-- she's old-- won't be breeding anymore-- and i actually wonder if the heat thing this time has anything to do with the pissin in the house???? she has always been bred-- maybe she is callin for a mate??? the HO.

so anyhow--- that's about it for now-- my head hhurts , and i cannot seeeeee

happy sunday peeps--

Saturday, September 12, 2009

ugh-- where do i begin ??

(click to enlarge ANY pic)

i spose i could start here --- yesterday, when i got gas... to head to the wonderful city of Dallas ... oh, yes, i am kidding. i despise that city, and i have no idea why people actually 'vacation' here. well, there. i do not live there-- and i have a valid reason. cuz i hate it there. i hate to drive there-- i hate to BE there. i'll get to that in a minute...
but anyhow, the above picture? yep... $ 33.30 filled my gas tank as i headed in the direction of the pawn shop from hell. which btw was where my rings were-- the rings that for some reason, i thought would be at the courthouse the other day-- they weren't... i have more about that later too--- if i don't forget.
so--- i had the pump on the automatic thing, and when it clicked off, i was just about to top it off, as i usually do, when i noticed the price -- 33.30 .. haha! i just left it alone. hoping the 333 thing would be good luck for once.

was it? well... it may have been. i made it home alive. ugh. i really had times i wondered if i would or not. i was so scared y'all. i was alone, in a very shitty part of town, and i had my knife that i keep in my car-- just in case-- in my LAP. and just so ya know-- this is a five inch blade -- but it has skinned a PIG once-- it is SHARP!
OMG-- it was horrible. when you have as many physical problems as i do-- it's a horrible defenseless feeling. and i hate it. i used to be the tough one.. afraid of nothing and no one...
realizing a flea could kick my ass-- is no easy thing to come to terms with. lemmee tell ya.

why was i so afraid? well... here is just a taste of where i was.. this is the actual pawn shop-- by this time i had removed my GPS from the window, actually about half a mile before i got there -- figurin i could wing it by then... and i did. i really was afraid i would be car-jacked with that damn thing sittin up there for every drug addict and "ho" to see. (which btw-- i saw the first ho's i've seen since Albuquerque / at least the first crackhead-strung out ones--- (sheltered much?) -- UGH....

so anyhow-- that's what i see on the outside. not very inviting is it? but, i had no choice really but to go in and get my stuff. i was tempted to leave and just go back another day with soulman.. but i -- yes like a fool-- hadn't read through the court papers, and wasn't sure if i had a time limit to pick it up. so if there was a three day thing or a week even.. with the weekend-- and my next week schedule-- i could lose it-- IF there was a time limit. so i went it. ugh.. can we say anxiety ridden , wish i had a gun permit??? so i go in and what do i see there?

even the damn people that live and WORK there
are afraid of it !!!!
i just wanted to get the hell out of there -- and that town, as fast as i could. i slid the papers under the window -- the bullet proof window i might add-- ugh. and would you believe before they gave me MY shit, they ask for ID. i couldn't resist--- i said--
AHHH... you'll check MY ID.
he only gave me a crooked smile... i took my crap and got the hell out of there. ugh. and not fast enough. man i was pissed. and i really didn't want to make that drive home.. back through those streets. i didn't make eye contact with anyone.. but cars would go slow-- people would look at me at red lights... it was horrible. it's not like i carry wads of cash i have to worry about-- i don't wear jewelry-- ha as if i had any left right-- i do wear my wedding band on a chain-- which if i didn't mention it-- somehow-- the asshole didn't steal that! it was in my jewelry box too. it woulda just broke my heart if he woulda got that.
so anyhow-- if i did ever get car jacked or robbed like that-- it'd be basically for nuthin. people are so stupid. but i gotta say-- any speck of trust i had left for human kind is out the window now. especially on the streets of dallas.

so, by the time i got home, i felt like this---

but-- i didn't cry. i did fine. it took all day to recover from the panic and anxiety though. and a couple-- ok few little blue pills. but i'm fine ..
and i won't have to face dallas again til-- monday. ugh.
why the underlining???? dammit.

so-- ahh the underlining is gone--- anyhow--
lemmee tell you about court--
it sucked.
but i knew it would. the judge was intimidating. but wait-- i'm getting ahead of myself. rewind.
i did manage to find some decent attire. unlike my ex-landlady :)) yep-- she was there. they almost didn't let her in too-- she was wearing a tank top-- and she had to borrow a shirt to get in. haha. i was thinkin she might be having trouble with her new tenants or somethin juicy-- turns out, she was there for speeding. haha.

anyhow--- i got there early-- so, i was waiting in a chair-- soulman had texted me from work earlier , asking how i felt--- i told him i was a nervous wreck. he said 'you'll be fine', and i didnt hear back.
but there i am sittin at the court-house-- and someone touches my shoulder from behind me... i look over-- wonder who the hell is touching me!-- it was him! :)) he got off early for moral support. i was glad he did too. cuz i really was nervous. i don't go to court very often. in fact it's been like twenty plus years since-- and that was small claims when i sued my land-lady--- and yep-- i was nervous then too... and again.. i didn't do anything wrong that time either.

so-- it turned out that the order they would call folks was first come - first served. which kinda sucked for me. cuz i was about the fifth to get there-- but maybe twenty-fifth in line. ugh. and wouldn't ya know it? they couldn't find my paperwork!!!?? so she calls the bailiff, and marks my place in line-- phew-- so he goes to find out what's up. next thing i know-- he came to get me
i was FIRST! in a way that was good , of course. i didn't want to be there for three hours. but also-- being first-- i had no idea what to do!
of course with my bad hearing-- i screwed up right off the bat. he calls out the pawn shop first---- i hear the pawn shop name-- so i stand up-- he asks again, cuz he already knew by now cuz of the mix up, that i wasn't them.. i say oh no sir sorry-- then of course they don't answer-- then he calls me-- i go up-- i'm standin at the mic-- in front of like fifty or more people by now--- and guess who's name he calls next??? the friggin thief !!!!! if not for my non working neck-- i woulda turned to look to see if he was there.. even though i was sure he wouldn't be. ugh. i did NOT expect to hear that name there. i was immediately pissed off on top of my already nervous wreck of a self. so anyhow-- the judge was all blunt and to the point-- and intimidating. my mind doesn't just snap to , like it used to. i kinda have to process information or something, before i can respond. so there was once or twice he had to repeat himself. ugh. it was just bad. plus-- as you know-- i only got a paper to go pick up my rings-- they weren't there, like i thought they would be.
it sucked. and i was glad hubby showed up to be there with me.

so anyhow-- on to phase five hundred and twenty four i reckon.
hopefully mr. policeman will call soon and tell me he matched the signature and arrested asshole.

i spose that's all i got for now--

catchya latah--

have happy weekends in your worlds peeps--

i'll be attempting to make my house presentable for smocha to see. not sure why-- i oughtta make her clean it-- since i will be killing myself-- i mean , goin to get her on monday. :)) nah. i don't mind. she has to drive us back here-- and it only took me a month to come up with that idea. i need a lobotomy-- is there a dr. in the house??

Thursday, September 10, 2009

well hell, it's morning already -

and nope--- no sleep for this ole hag. well, ok, maybe a few touch and goes. but i was in my chair and mainly online allll damn night long. again. dammit. i have a pretty strong feeling that today won't be a very good one. i already feel a migraine starting.
big day ahead. big worries, but prolly easy solutions.
note, when i wrote last night , i said i was saving some 'good news' for this morning.
well, where do i begin? it really is good... but a lot of stress comes with it.
i had been trying to get a hold of 'my cop' for a week last week. he never returned my calls. which up until that point has been unusual. he has always returned my calls, or called me if or when he had new information on the theft. but hmmm. not recently. so i left yet another message on his phone ,i think, yesterday morning. i mentioned on his machine-- and thought about it all day--- he must have called it quits on my case... and now what--- if anything will i do about it. ugh. i will admit, i am quite angry at this point. i feel like this guy got away scott free, after steeling so much of my life and memories from me. i find myself thinking about it more and more lately too. at first and for a long time, i tried to remain calm, and leave it up to the cops to do something. but as it began to seem that even they didn't care anymore-- i'll admit-- i got--and remained pissed off this passed couple weeks.

well, anyhow-- in the meantime-- or in that period or whatever... i got my 'hearing' letter in the mail. guess when that is-- and guess when i noticed? it is today !!! at 130 ! and i noticed it on my calendar last night!! holy criznap ! i'm not ready for that. i don't know what to say - or do- or nuthin. i don't know how to dress. i hate court. i didn't even do anything wrong, but i feel all nervous about goin. and nobody will even be there. this is the part where i'm only goin to get my rings back.. the ones asshole sold at the pawn shop.
actually -- one is mine , and one is soulkids'. gawd, i wish i knew what he did with the rest of my stuff.
so anyhow-- that's been on my mind. but the pawn shop peeps won't be there , the thief won't be there-- maybe the cop will, and the judge-- and my rings-- i guess all i do is ID it to the judge and i get it back. so why am i so ate up about it?
well... perhaps because i was ignored for a week. the pawn shop wouldn't give me the pawn ticket. the cops aren't doin anything. and every day that passes... is just another wasted day for this guy to get further out of town. ya know?

so anyhow-- last night my cop called me back-- finally. he said he's been on vacation. as important as i want to be-- i understand that i am not. and that is ok. it really is. cops have lives too. but he also is unable to give me the copy of the pawn ticket. but he thought i was just brilliant to think of getting a copy of the job applications. UGH. HE"S the cop--- why did I have to be the one to come up with that idea??? who knows. but i'm glad i did. cuz he is gonna work offa that now. he's gonna try to get the moving company bossman, to send both these guys job applications by fax -- so he wont take a day or two trying to get out to dallas again. what a pain in the keester. geesh. hopefully he can and will compare the signatures, find a match and haul the bastard in.
cuz i told him... i am just about pissed enough to put him in jail now. i am sure my stuff is long gone, and i have been taken just one too many times.
he said i don't blame ya. if i get a match, i will serve a warrant.
so-- yep-- that did lift my spirits a bit. quite a bit. i just hope this works. y'all pray that it works , and i get some justice for once.
he also told me that the 'suspect' hasn't shown up for work, nor has he called anybody since this all happened. i find that in itself pretty telling. don't you? the second guy has been goin to work. so i'm thinkin he didn't do it. i know if i had the cops on my ass-- i'd be gone just as quick as the other guy. i hope he didn't skip town. i want him in jail for what he did to me. dammit.

ooooh and on that happy note-- i have ta peeeeeeee all the sudden

happy --whatever day..

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

where the hell is my panic button ?!!!

holy crap -- what a day. [heavy, painful, SIGH]

i looked on google for a pic but couldn't find one, some of you know what i'm talkin about though. but ya know the "panic bubble" they give ya when ya have an MRI???
well... every time i've had an MRI before today that is... i never needed it. in fact, i actually thought the whole idea of the thing was silly, and wondered if anyone actually ever used the damn thing. well, guess what? y'all wished me well for my mri today--- and i thank you for that, cuz i hate to think how it woulda gone without your thoughts. it was a nightmare ! for real. i have had many of these done. many. at least four? maybe more. three or four on my back and one on my brain? maybe two on my brain? hell i don't know. i remember bitchin for years for dr's to mri or cat scan me... then it seemed like they finally started trying to find a diagnosis-- and the scanning never stopped-- CT's, MRI's, ultrasounds.. eegads-- i was glowing !
oops-- got distracted. as if that hasn't happened before. hmmm/
so anyhow. back to the mri- today. the ONE time they don't give me a panic button... i have a full blown, out of control panic attack ! no shit. i don't mean a little anxiety. or a bit claustrophobic. nope-- i'm talkin... movie quality here. tears, chest pain, racing thoughts, etc etc. they have a mic in there-- but the tech didn't hear me til the machine stopped. she pulled me out, and she offered to stop the test-- but i need it,
(yes Smocha-- for the rhizotomy-- but not the one i'm having--to see if i can have it on my lower (lumbar) as i just took a breather for a few minutes and finished it. it was horrible. and i don't know why it happened. i have never had that happen before. well, i have had mri's and i have had panic attacks -- but i have never had the two together. i hope i don't again. it was not a pleasant experience. what a way to ruin a day . ugh.

that last 7 or 8 minutes of that test was the longest 7 or 8 minutes of my damn life.
i do wonder if i didn't have a heart attack tho. i didn't want to spend eight hours in the emergency room to find out-- OR pay a damn thousand dollar bill behind it-- to find out i had what i knew -- or thought was a panic attack. so i didn't go. but i did feel like hell ran over me all day long. my arm hurt, i had heartburn.. i was a bitch-- but that's just me, so i didn't know if that was a "symptom" or not. so anyhow-- i looked at the 'symptoms'-- and looked at the pros and cons of goin to ER.. and i just couldn't talk myself into it. so i xanaxed up, and took a nap. yeh... that's the way to do it. not. i know. i should know better by now... but i don't. and i won't. the best i can do is get my damn will drawn up... but i - we.. just don't seem to get around to that either.
it's just that i've had so many 'false alarms.' and i'm sick to death of payin for em.
like maybe at least three or four trips for what i thought to be heart attacks. they were extended stays, that were never a heart attack. everything from a panick attack to lung pleurisy, to 'nothing'.. and once it was actually 'something'.. tachacardia? they gave me nitro and all kindsa crap-- but it cost a damn fortune. it was my heart, but not a heart attack. so. i chose not to go today. i'm still alive. i feel like crap. but it didn't kill me. i'm sure it was just a bad panic attack.
but-- there was also the other thing-- remember the time i blew off goin to ER when i had a pulmonary embolism..lung blood clot...? that wasn't very bright either.
same deal though. y'all have no idea how many times i have gone to the dr. or the ER for pain. no matter how severe, strange, curious, even debilitating... and they did nothing. nada. 9 out of ten times they would find nothing, and treat me like a 'drug seeker', make me feel worse than when i got there-- and leave me with a bill that took a year or more to pay--- or let go into collection. ugh. so. when i got the pain from the blood clot?? lemmee tell ya-- those stupid little pain charts? they don't have one for this kinda pain. but i had a dr appt scheduled like two days out-- and no matter how many times soulman told me to go to ER-- i told him, i would just wait for my appointment. i'd tough it out.
not a good idea. i could have died. ugh. i felt like i was-- but i just didn't want to be treated like crap. which-- i don't think woulda happened-- that time. not with a DVT and a PE :)) call me dr House now k. :))

another time that i let asshole non diagnosing jerk off docs make me feel like i had no right to go to the hospital???
didn't want to be a bother---
i was pregnant with my first child. so---- forgive me if i wasn't very knowledgeable about these things. well, i'd already been to the hospital at least twice--- in false labor. forced to walk around for two hours-- then sent home. i was like 22 years old.. and dumb as a rock. SO-- what did i do when i actually WAS in labor? i took my dying ass into the bathroom and got into the tub. i shared a room with my sister and her three very young sons at the time... i just didn't want to bother anyone.
i sat in that tub and cried in agony from like 2 a.m til 6 a.m. til my sis finally came in there... she says-- wth are you doing?? i said i'm dying... she timed the contractions--- two minutes apart!!!! how the hell was i supposed to know? i didn't. obviously.
and back then, i was active duty navy-- it wouldn't cost me a dime to go to the dr-- i just didn't want to be a hassle. ugh.
so-- my sis gets us ready, gets our mom up to take care of the kids-- and drives me in my truck--which was a five speed that she didn't know how to drive--- can we say --- OWCH!!!??? it was a great ride in san diego military base a.m. rush hour traffic -- AND construction.
i told her to take a coned off exit from the stop and jerk-- i mean stop and go traffic laden hiway-- she said what if they don't let me-- i said they have NO choice!
she took the exit and a young guy in a vest comes up and made her stop-- he says you can't go this way you have to get back on the hiway.
she points at me.. curled up next to the passenger door, groaning.. and says--
she's about to have a baby !!!!
i think she thought she was gonna be delivering a baby soon, and she was fixin to road rage as well. :))
the kid looks over at me and says oh go on ahead maam.
it's funny now-- cuz not one of us was out of our twenties. we were all three frantic.
i was prolly one minute apart in contractions by now... and bitchier than can be... she kept stalling and or jerking the damn truck... thinkin back-- we all had three cars at least between us -- i STILL don't know why we took the one she didn't know how to drive. :))
well, she got us to the hospital in time. and i had a bouncing baby boy.
he's a story all his own.

this lil guy

but yeh... someday.... i'm gonna blow off goin to the doc-- and somethin bad will happen... and all because i got blown off one too many times. what a shame eh?

ahhhh.... something good did happen today though. if i tell you now though-- i won't have a morning post. hmmmm. should i make ya wait. i should. besides--- most of you won't even be here til tomorrow anyhow.

so-- til then-- thanks for comin by today. i know i'm slackin in my comments etc-- i'll try to get better. just a bit busy lately.

g'nite peoples

Lobstah Out The Keestah !!!

i know he isn't a lobstAH, but he's oh so CUTE!
and me and soulkid placed him right where soulman
is forced to look at him all the time.
cuz he teased the hell outta me when i got it.
payback's a bitch sometimes eh?
(i planned on puttin him in my bedroom.. til i felt vindictive )

so anyways-
isn't that a catchy title? it sure got my attention. and an early morning chuckle outta me. it's actually from an advertisement for a restaurant that caught my eye. i just had to share it.
ok. maybe it's just me. nevermind.
moooovin on.
but, hmmm. what to say?

well, have i mentioned that our boat has been broken? hubby figured out what was wrong with it-- without even takin it apart. (the engine). gotta give the guy his kudos. :)) ummm, which are now called 'gold medals'.. but that's another story-- and one i might not share . sorry. but you shoulda been here for that one.
anyways--- yep-- soulman is a pretty handy guy to have around sometimes. when it comes to the boat and car stuff -- he has literally saved us thousands of dollars over the years in doing all the work himself. with a little help from me i might add :))
it's been a long time-- but i still got it :))
so anyhow-- what was wrong ? you may wonder...
well, have a look. we are so very lucky we didn't blow the engine (again)

those are the parts. 'water impeller ' it is what feeds water to the water pump--- well.. ours is the one on the bottom. i don't think it was working very well :))
but now it has the new one in it and hubby is out testin it right now.. new impeller, new T stats -- and runnin like a charm he said. woo hoo.
it just kills me what boat mechanics try-- well do-- charge to fix crap. it took a lot of hours over a couple days-- and like i said-- i got to get a little dirty too :)) not much , but i still like to play every now and then. but he got - er- dun. woulda cost a load in a boat shop. we paid for parts... oh and the baits that he couldn't pass up as he walked to the parts counter in the back of the store-- funny how they do that eh?

next? yesterday i went to have my MRI done. after i sat -- patiently waiting -- :)) have you noticed all the overseas people we have to deal with on the phone say that? 'thank you for patiently waitinG' -- ummm, sure, as IF i had a choice.
anyhow-- i sat there for almost an hour-- when i finally asked if they forgot about me.
nobody else was waiting,. it just seemed weird. so the girl says "no, i'm sorry, they can't seem to be able to fix the machine." OMG. is that not just the way things go with me? so anyhow-- she gave me a free starbucks gift card/ with a mystery amount of money on it, and rescheduled me for today. grrreeeaT.
anyhow, i gave soulkid the giftcard. i almost never go there. only when i meet a friend or something. i'm pretty much back to staying home a lot of the time. unless i have to go .. ya know?

so -- movin on--
below is NOT for the squeamish NON animal peeps -
but yesterday i was so inclined to do an experiment-

1- cat barf
2- peroxide
3- a rag
(see img 1 below )

when i mentioned that i had used peroxide to remove dog blood from fabric -
the question was raised as to if peroxide would also clean cat puke stains -
or a gazillion of them.

my results?
(see img 2 below )

voila !
peroxide is my new best friend!
what you see there was only the wet mark.
today the carpet is dry -- and yes, clean as a whistle !

sorry folks, but this is just a sample of the boredom i taste every day.
any other scientific requests i can help anyone with today? i would be happy to oblige. :))

if not, well then i must prepare myself to take my child to school, and forge on to the hopefully repaired MRI machine. those wouldn't be so bad if they weren't so damn noisy. i hate that part.

happy humpday folks !

Monday, September 7, 2009

it's 9 somethin in the mornin and i'm fallin asleep !

well, maybe it has somethin to do with only sleeping about three hours last night. ok perhaps four. but obviously not enough for this ole lady. ugh. hard to believe that sometimes i can go for days with no sleep, isn't it. damn, i'm tired. i don't know why, but something has been making me fight sleep like a baby lately. this passed couple days, i'm just flat out exhausted, but i fight naps, and bed time sleep as well. no clue as to why. just mental i reckon. like right now for instance. any normal human being would simply take their tired ass back to bed. what do i do? drift off, wake up, and TRY to stay awake. but why? i have no reason to force myself to stay awake. nothing pressing to DO. last night i was doin the same stupid thing. til soulman nearly physically dragged me to bed. he would holler out here from the bedroom, asking if i was awake-- i wouldn't be-- but i'd say i was-- then i'd fight to stay up. finally, i woke up in my chair-- again... and there he was, sitting at my desk just grinning at me. like i was busted. :)) my first instinct was to look around for a burning cig-- or any evidence there-of. then i let him help me to bed. (asleep on my damned feet)
WTH?? can anyone tell me why i do such things?

so. i remembered a couple of things since i posted last night. boring. but it just seems that's how things are lately. but, remember when i mentioned a procedure i might have on my back, but couldn't remember the name? well, i remembered the name. and i am having it.
it's called a "rhizotomy" . and i will be having it done on september 21st. they can only do one side at a time. i guess it's like doin wisdom teeth? they don't do both sides at once cuz you'll be rendered useless??? or perhaps partially paralyzed temporarily. not sure there. but i'm goin with the worst side first-- my right. then the left on october 5th. it's not "real" surgery, but they do a little cut in the skin, then burn the nerve root-- or nerve endings with a lazer, then voila --- if i'm lucky ... we all know i'm not very lucky, but if it works... i should be pain free -- or at least have a whole lot less pain for several months. of course -- the downside? it will get worse, before it gets better. just peachy. several days to a few weeks of even worse pain... until we see results-- if any. but it's worth it to me to try. look what jamie went through --- this is nothin at all compared to that. and she walks faster than i could prolly run right now. i can only hope for such results. we shall see.

so anyhow--- i think that's about all i got for now.

i really need to vacuum my floors today. they look like crap. i also need to hang stuff. i bought things to hang in my newly painted bathroom, and got stuff from storage to hang in my bedroom, etc. so i best get offa heah, and off me arse, and get productive. ya think?
me too.

happy labor day peeps.

fire up those grills and smokers... i know mine will be a-goin later on :))

Sunday, September 6, 2009

the rest of the story . . .

well tie me up and call me stupid.
almost everyone who commented on my last post-- excluding the spammer-- who, by the way has been here before, ugh... mentioned wanting to hear "the rest of the story."
hmmmmmm. well. ya know what? i'm just senile enough to have no idea what you want me to say. ugh. no, i'm not kidding. which storey do ya wanna hear the rest of?
i had about three or four goin in that post.
the dog, the robbery, and oh hell, i don't even remember that much.

i could draw a picture ---

well , i could show ya one ---

or two

(how's that ? :))

not quite what you were lookin for? yeh i thought not. hmmm. ok. well, about eevee. the vet called yesterday. talked to soulman. but from what i got outta him, it sounds like she's gonna be ok. phew! she has a "possible" bladder infection. which someone guessed the other day; and i was kinda leanin towards myself. the poopin thing was the first time, so that may have been changin the food-- i don't know.
everything else he said just seemed like random stuff. but the labs were ok. nothing major or severe. so that was an expensive relief. i still worry though. she is about ten years old, and has a breast tumor-- it's huge too. i'm not ready to lose another dog yet-- i don't think it will be like now-- but two or three or four years from now will be even worse. dammit. when we got her, i didn't know she was that old. i damn sure didn't know she was gonna get a tumor. shit. anyhow. at least she's alright-- for now.

as for , what? ummm. oh the robbery , pawn shop stuff, i obviously know nothing new about any of that yet. cuz of the weekend.

oh ya , and my 'cryptic war'. :)) that's so much to get into. and boring. and kinda personal . it's a long story... like really long, as in ten years long. then consistently two and a half years long. then the final part was maybe between 3-6 months long. so , i really don't think you want to hear it. fact is.... lil ole me, stood up to a much larger , and intimidating force--- such as -- uncle sam... and i was finally heard.
if i wanted to continue this at this point, i could , and with not much more effort take it even further-- but i'm fine where it is now. i got exactly what i asked for. i would have won the other way if i wanted to fight harder and wait longer-- i just don't have anything left to do that. i'm friggin tired. so i took the easier softer way. guess i'll just spit it out. even tho i didn't plan to.
i pretty much was discharged from the navy with a small percentage of disability. enough to "shut me up"... for a while. when things got worse-- i re-opened my claim... that was in like 96 or maybe 98... they fought me tooth and nail-- then denied my claim. which was valid, had witness statements, documentation, etc. much of it was the same stuff i used the next time i went up-- but i was pissed off and actually surprised they denied the claim in 96-or 98-- whenever... but i fought it for a year, and lost. i was too worn out to fight back. and you can't use a lawyer with va. so on my own? i was just out of gas, so gave up. as time passed, my conditions only continued to get worse.... nothing ever improved. even to this day-- i only keep going downhill. so. somewhere like 2005, when my health got to where i just thought i was literally gonna die, i reopened my claim again. at the time-- i was STILL -- since '93.. only at 10%. but at that time, thinkin i was on my way out-- i wasn't about to die, and leave my kid with nothing. well, nothing from me anyhow. so, i started doing the unnatural. so against my grain. for years, i acted strong, pretended to be "well"... now i had to prove i was sick. that is not an easy task, let me tell you. ya don't just walk into the dr and say i'm sick and in pain... and get a check. nope. it took almost a year, and a couple really scary times, just to find out if i was gonna die or not. i ended up with a breast cancer scare-- a benign breast lumpectomy, and an addisons diagnosis.
that was in 2005-- seeing all kindsa dr's and surgeons and stuff--- orthopods, and mri's, etc--- then we moved back here-- i had to transfer my claim to dallas--- ugh. the drive from fort worth to dallas a couple times a month-- for a year almost killed me.
seein shrinks, gettin scanned, and probed, and poked-- mentally and physically--- it was so horrible-- i got to the point i coulda just dropped the entire thing. but remember-- i was near crippled, and mental at this point---- and really didn't know why-- well, i didn't know why i couldn't walk and stuff. (i still don't know for sure). all i did know for sure was that if i was gonna die-- my kid was gonna be 'ok'.
well.. i think it finally happened around the end of 2007--- i finally got approved and it was over--- my case was closed, and i was approved at 90% . you believe that? from 10% to 90% ... in 2 and a half years. i was exhausted. and i think they-- the VA-- KNEW they screwed me all those years. i got a big fat check for like one year back pay. i felt a little bittersweet justice. kind of a 'i showed them' thing. but that didn't last long. the money got spent-- the pain got worse-- and everything else stayed the same.
so, anyhow.... i see i'm rambling where i said i wasn't gonna. oops.
so, back to winning the war-- i had two choices when i decided to re-open my case a few months ago. not sure when-- my guess is maybe 4 months ago. ish. i could have asked for 100 % disability. or what i did ask for-- which was "unemployability" / with my already 90% pay. what that is/ is 100 % pay without the 100 % benefits. which is stuff like dental/vision, commissary, stuff like that. those bennies would be good to have... but i can live without them. the money? that's several hundred dollars a month more money -- plus more money for soulkid AND more bennies for her college. which , remember-- she is why i started this whole damn thing to begin with.
so , yeh-- that apparently got approved-- friday when i went into my bank online i had a few thow i didn't expect to see. it wasn't a year backpay-- like i hoped it would be... my guess is about 4 months difference in what i get . but hey, whatever, right.
i got hurt in the navy--- my son died in the navy/because of them--- so yep--- they can pay for it.

anyways-- i don't know if that's the rest of story you wanted-- but that's the rest of the story you got. :))

so, as for now--- or today---- i forced myself to go fishin this morning... not that i'm complaining. ok , i am. but only a little. i wore my ass out. i stayed too long. but i caught you a delicious bass :)) i got way too tired , way too hot, and way too sore... but looky

thank the lord for shadows :))
i look so BAD lately

but the fish is beautiful!

have you ever seen such a beautiful animal?

hope y'all are havin happy days today

(oh that reminds me---
watch this video)

Friday, September 4, 2009

peek - a - boo !

i could prolly just stop with that and call it a post. ya think? nah. me neither. i blab too much.
this has been a bitch of a day. well, actually, it's been a bitch of a .... decade? yeh, that sounds about right. maybe that depends on the perspective though. if i pile everything up that has happened over the passed few months... it might look
something like this :

if i change my perspective;
it could look like this:


it's all in the way we look at things. i know that. and you know that. but why is it so hard to feel that, and put it into practice -- every day?
so many little things build up , even over twenty four hours -- or, say eighteen hours - if that's how long you're awake in a day. like for me, today.... my day began .. well after the basics of coffee, cigs, and a shower and that stuff, i drove soulkid to school, then when i got back i began my usual "payday slash bill-day" with balancing the checkbook to get ready to pay the bills and that sort of stuff. well.... i'm not sure what happened first --- but i think the good thing happened first, because the bad thing --- yeh, nevermind.. ok.. anyhow--- i go online and into my bank.... all i'm gonna say about this part is that perseverance pays off in the end. i saw a little more than just soulman's salary in there... i saw something i have been fighting for - for years. this last leg of the battle though? i will admit, my part wasn't very difficult. at all.
anyhow -- i literally did the happy dance. :)) , well, as best i could. when i finished with my little jig, and tellin the soul clan that my battle wasn't only won, but i had won the entire flippin war..... i came back to my desk, sat down, and got back to my paying of the bills. that's when things changed. in an instant. eevee....
shown here :

waltzes right into my office, casually gets behind my chair, AND , craps !!!!!!! yes. you did read that right. she pooped, moved her bowels, shat, crapped, shit, or whatever else you choose to call it... she did it... without asking to go out !!!! i almost had a friggin heart attack !!!! the peein inside? we've kinda got used to that by now... not that we approve of it ... but we kinda wrote it off as stress or some such thing. but today? that? oh no! i had to go back to my original thought... "she must be ill". i wasted no time in making her a vet appointment while soulman did the honors of cleaning the ummmmm yeh. that.
she was seen within the hour, they did all kindsa labs-- blood, urine etc. they wanted to 'excise' her breast tumor--- we just can't afford such things. so passed on that idea. anyhow -- she does have an infection on her back where she's been chewing/scratching a lot... they said that may be a flea allergy. (perfect ! my midnight had that problem too, and it was a horrible thing for her and us to live with).
we will get the labs back tomorrow... but for today she was loaded up with antibiotics and steroids. poor baby. i don't know what's wrong with her-- but it really sounds like my old cat--- but-- we also changed food yesterday. so-- it could be anything really. let's just hope she's alright.

ummm... what else? i can't even think straight. it has been a very busy busy busy busy day today. especially starting out that way.
oh, after all that mess, i called "my" detective... to no avail. guess he was off for the weekend. so then i called the pawn shop that my stuff was sold at--- again, not much help there either-- except that i did manage to speak to the guy who made the transaction with the thief. all i got out of him was a- i have to get a copy of the pawn ticket from 'my' cop-- and b- the guy was very tall. by very tall--- i am assuming that the one guy really did pawn the stuff, and NOT loan his ID to the other guy like he told the detective. ugh.

yes, there's more. do ya wanna hear it?

i could continue... but i don't think i will right now.
i'm too scatterbrained to be writing anything at all actually.
perhaps in the morning. that's my best time anyhow.

catch you folks later---

hope you all have fantabulous weekends!