Thursday, April 16, 2009

gloom, despair, and agony on me---

howdy folks---

who can i blame for this pain? i swear it's worse since the shots the other day. it was supposed to get better. it's not. especially in the mornings. ugh. it's depressing. and so is the weight gain. what IS UP with that? i haven't gained weight since summer when everyone was home all the time-- but that came back off. this passed few weeks.. i swear i gain ten pounds a day! i know-- it only feels like it-- but UGH. it's horrible. nothing fits, and i feel awful.

and did i mention my hair? it's driving me crazy. i must get it cut. back to the original too short for short cut. i tried to keep it at median length. i tried for the kinda long-- but that got outta hand. now the this is gettin bad. maybe i'm just a bitch and nothing can satisfy me??? yep. i bet that's it. i'm just a middle aged hag.

oh, and my plans for meeting the girl about the portrait fell thru for today.
it's not a big deal for me though. i don't have the money to give her anyways.
she said it has to do with her work schedule-- but i know she has a major fear of storms, and we are expecting one today. so i think that's it.
but anyhow-- i don't know.
i just kinda wanted to get it over with.
guess we'll meet up next week , cuz it's sposed to rain for a couple days.
(so much for fishin for a while.)

but-- speakin of fishin-- i did manage to catch a fish or two-- without my camera.
a perch--and a pretty decent decent bass.

so-- aside from my bitch list--- there aint much goin on around here .

hubby went back to work this morning.
which is good.
for both of us.
too much time together, just aint that great a thing.
it makes me lazy-ER actually.
him too i think.

he has lost a lot of weight btw. he needs a new belt--and prolly some new pants.
which is a really good thing.
he has needed to lose weight for a long time time. his weight had become a health issue.
he is proud of himself, and so am i.

as for my weight-- y'all know how i feel. ugh.
i went back on topamax the other day when i saw my shrink the other day.
maybe that will help me.
i have no clue what has made me gain so much weight , so fast.
but it bothers me.
i've always had that "self image problem " though
i don't think that's my fault.
y'all can blame my family and peers for that one.
weird how i'd rather look like a dead racoon than
"whatever. "

welp-- i reckon i better get rockin.
gotta take the chillens to school soon.
yep-- soulkid got a break and had a schoolnight sleepover.
i thought it would be a disaster, but they got up and got ready on time.
what a surprise!

catch ya later.

i didn't spend much time online yesterday-- feelin too fat and ill.
i'll try to get around more today.

happy thursday peeps.