Monday, February 8, 2010

so do things really come in 3's ?

a view from here :))

i think they must-- i even almost got this post started at 3:33. now THAT woulda been just a little too strange. of course, stranger things have happened - around here. we all know that, right?

so. here i was, after my previous post. 2nd for today-- well, technically 2nd for sunday-- but today is still sunday for me-- cuz i still haven't been to sleep yet.
however, that was my intent-- about an hour or so ago. i posted , then i read a little bit-- of all things? -- parts of a hand written journal i wrote-- in 2001-- in a psyche hospital. yeh i know-- i'm just askin for trouble aint i? erg.

strange thing tho? i have not looked at these 'notes' since then. i guess you could say i was 'afraid to'. maybe afraid to 'trigger' something. and cause a set back, or something.
but recently, i have had writing my stupid -- prolly never to be written book - on my mind again. so, i have been lookin at old journals, poems, blog entries, etc. to kinda see if i really wanna 'go there.
i think i can, and will get a start on it-- soon. i kind of have. mainly just jotting notes-- next to notes-- and editing some poems, etc. even writing a couple new ones.

so. anyhow-- sorry -- got off track a bit-- but , i know that doesn't surprise you.

anyhow- yeh, like i said earlier- i was startin to get tired-- finally, and actually, welcomingly-- i was ready to go lay down and hopefully grab a few hours of sleep.
so i looked over a few pages of these notes, and then i headed for bed. i had to make a lil pit stop on my way- if ya know what i mean.

when i got in the bathroom, i thought i might flippin die ! there were towels on the bathroom floor-- which really, wouldn't be a big deal-- except for the fact , that every last one of them, maybe 4 or 5--- were soaked..... i do mean soaked.... with pet urine. eevee is gone-- otherwise i woulda blamed her right off the bat-- there was soooo much pee, i couldn't believe it. from sushi- and two cats? how? mind you-- this was only done in maybe an hour or two. it was perfectly fine in there the last time i was in there.

but ya wanna know what really topped it off? aside from havin to pick up-- and touch all these towels, bathmats, and clothes-- soaked in smelly cat and dog pee???
the worst i think--- was when i had to clean up my own pee-- when -- yup-- you guessed it-- my fuckin toilet overflowed !!!! all the way overflowed!!!! i can only move so fast ya know. i do know how to turn the water off behind the toilet. i was 'old' when i got married. i had to do all the man stuff for many years. houses, cars, you name it-- it was my duty-- 9 times out of ten. and yes-- that included toilets. ugh.
anyhow--- i'm gonna be washin towels alll damn day tomorrow.
hubby picked a great time to go out of town.

oh, and do you think i had a plunger in MY bathroom? oh hell no-- of course not. where do ya think it was? yep-- up-the-fuckin-stairs. yippee. so up i go-- tired as hell, at 230 in the morning- to get the toilet plunger--- while my bathroom downstairs is flooded and soaked in pet urine soaked towels, mats and dirty laundry. ( which , at least by this time i had tossed into the bath-tub) gawd, it was the least i could do in my frantic attempt to not flood the house.

is anyone seeing the humor in this yet?
it really is ok if you are. cuz i did.
i think that's why it happened. and THANK God-- it was only pee.. all the way around.
you just can't tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor.
he knew i was on the verge of a flippin panic attack, and he was just tryin to lighten my load.
so- during my frenzy-- and bitch fit-- and yes-- i cussed-- more than once-- and even woke up my kid... she went back to sleep easily tho. it made me think of a few funnymoments-- that may not have been so funny at the time-- but they are now--

like the GET UP!!!! thing.
that was a horrible morning to top all horrible mornings. it involve gran gran-- and my sister-- and a night of drinking-- and a horrible wake up call, which involved an overflowing toilet-- and incessant demands for us to GET UP - uuuggghhhhh--- not a nice sound when you have a hangover-- a lingering drunk from the night before-- AND 'her ' voice "GET UP" over and over and over. OMG

then there was the time that my sis and i actually removed and replaced a toilet-and wax ring. for who else-- but the queen.. (gran gran) haha -- she's my mom in case you didn't know. but wow.
just wow.

she was worst than any drill Sargent who ever lived. or would that be 'better'?
you could never ever say i can't-- or i won't. she said jump-- you said how high.
and ya did your best to jump higher than she expected you to. always. and it was never good enough. for her.

i guess i could honestly say-- today-- that i gained a lot of strength from her.
i lost a lot of good that i should have had-- or should have now too-- but maybe it was a fair trade.
i think without her bein such a hard ass-- i wouldn't have half the fight i have in me now.

hell i don't know what to say anymore.
cept-- i fixed the toilet, all by myself. not a big deal for most, i know-- but if hubby was here? i woulda turned the water of of course-- but the kid woulda picked up the urine soaked towels-- and i would not have ventured up the stairs for the plunger-- nor would i have fixed the toilet.

well-- of course-- i most likely would have been asleep-- the animals wouldn't have been off kilter with stez and eevee gone and may not have pissed all over everything, and perhaps the entire situation would have been avoided-- who knows.

but-- aside from the fact that i am surely UP for the day? as messed up as it was-- at times... all in all? not a terrible day.

it could be if i let it be.
i'm just not gonnna let it go there.
tomorrow-- umm today is a new day.
(let's rejoice and be glad in it :))

that line always makes me smile-- maybe with a little sarcasm.. but it's true.

i know i'm gonna be one tiahd mamma today-- maybe i'll catch a nap after i take the kiddo to school-- she has an appointment this afternoon-- i sure don't wanna be fallin asleep drivin in rush hour.

i also need to let her drive today sometime. she got her permit last tuesday-- did i tell ya? she only missed 2 out of 30 questions. she rocks.

anyhow-- is anyone awake yet?
or still?
you know i am.

happy monday-
happy week-