Wednesday, January 16, 2008
i am still the great soul-crastinator. i don't think that will ever change. unfortunately.
i've been sittin here lookin at-- and adding to my ever growing "list" ... OMG. i need an assistant. i need a lot of things actually. i don't know how my life has gotten so out of control, but it has. i have lost all sense of responsibility. wth?
i know this past few weeks-- or months actually, have been one of those .. baby steps, kinda times around here. so much has been happening here in soul land. but at the same time.. it feels like nothing has been accomplished.
i think it has gotten easy for me to make excuses for myself to not do what i need to to keep things movin around here. and that's not such a good thing. so today is catchup day. i hope.
soulkid told me LAST NIGHT... at like 1030.. i get out of school early tomorrow.. gee that's great.. on a day that i would probably be gone til 3 oclock.. she'll be home at 1. yippee. just how much catchin up can i do in that amount of time. this is where prioritizing comes in... i spose. ICK. i really hate "the list".. especially when it is bigger than me.
so anyhow--- that's where i will be most of the early part of the day-- payin my late bills , in person.. and you know how i love the standing in line etc... and other crap.
then i will have to do my chores when i get done with the outside stuff-- after i'm all tired and worn out this afternoon. like that will happen. i already need a nap-- and it's 9 a.m. this cannot be good.
my sleep schedule is so screwed up-it's making me crazy... go to bed to early get up too early-- last night i went to bed late and still got up early-- even tho i set my alarm for later than normal. not that i hardly ever make it to my alarm anyways... but it happens sometimes.
midnight wouldn't wake up again today-- but she didn't sleep as late as last time she slept in. that's seems strange to talk about a dog sleeping late. but that's just her. or me. dunno.
anyhow-- it may be too soon to mention this.. so do me a favor-- and save the condolences for monday.. or even sunday night. ok? because at this point i'm ok with it. really.
but i did make the arrangements ... the dreaded appointment--- for monday at noon. that was the earliest time that all three of us could be there . soulkid has tests this week at school, so we will wait til sat or sunday to say anything about it to her. i just don't want to ruin her weekend. she sounds like a little turd a lot of times... but she isn't. and i would do anything in the world to spare her pain. i don't think i give her enough credit at times for being as mature as she is... i think she might handle this well... i just fear that she won't. and maybe i'm not at the point of acceptance that i think i am, but only in denial. i know that's very possible.. especially with a person like me. i won't know anything about anything until it's over.
i DO know that this is what is best for midnight though. and i know that the time is right. actually.. we probably waited a bit longer than we should have, but the time is now. for her.
i am hoping that "someone" will take my picture with her... but i am having a hard time bringing myself to ask for that. maybe i'll take it myself.. like one of my fish pics. should i stick my tongue in her mouth for it??? :))
i gotta get UP, and do something productive today... before i drown in a sea of laundry and animal hair--- not to mention the stackage of bills that must be paid.
hope you all have happy days today
see what a kick in the ass will do?
i finished all my crap-- and was home by 1 for soulkid ... and ate lunch --- and i just may take a nap too.
apparently in the above section, i chose poor wording? or whatever?
i wasn't looking for sympathy-- or advice-- i was just spewing whatever came to mind at the time. i'm not a post planner, as y'all may know by now. i start typing, and when i'm done, i post whatever is there.
soooo... anyhow.. i hope your days are good ones...