Wednesday, October 8, 2008

thinkin out loud

do y'all think that's true?

ahh great-- the lovely mysterious underlining. hmm.

anyhow. back to what i was saying.
don't panic... yet. i don't own a gun. and hubby sold his a couple months ago. so for now-- no worries.
but-- just for a consensus, i have to ask...

as a mother-- if some asshole got your kid hooked on drugs--- she being 14--- and him being 18 ! would you not want some justice? i'm not saying i want to go as far as to shoot the kid. but i swear i do want something . and so does soulman. i have asked around. i have a phone number, i know where he lives, i know his first and last name. and the rest would be easy.

problem being---- he lives with some other 14 year old girl and her family ! wtf is wrong with THAT picture? ugh. it just makes me sick. but again the only way that we could approach him, is on their property. then what? WE would be the ones to get in trouble if something got out of hand.

there are ways i --we could find him away from the house-- i know where he hangs out-- and i also know that he takes these young girls to a 17 and up club in frickin dallas-- with fake id's-- mine was one of them!

i am in such a boilin rage against this guy. and i have never even seen him. but he has been in my house-- taken my kid all over dfw, broke her heart, broke her spirit, got her addicted to drugs, but i don't know what he looks like. is that not the most fucked up thing ever?
of course-- she told us he was 15 for months-- until about three weeks ago--maybe four-- that's when she finally said he was 18. every day i get more pissed.

i can't be mad at her anymore. not for what has already been done. she is working on her. the best way she knows how. i do see an improvement too. everyone knows the first step is admitting a problem.. she has done that. she does what we put in front of her. i know that must be awfully hard at her age-- and especially for soulkid-- y'all who have been around a while know just how hard headed this girl can be.

which brings me back to this boy. i'm so enraged at him. and so is hubby. most of you have seen my hubby in pix. he is a very large man. he could step on this guy and kill him. one punch to temple? dead. one slap to his fuckin pierced lip? i'd pay to see it. but, we know we can't do that. and it's so hard not to.

i could survive in prison. i've been in hospitals, i've been on isolated duty in the navy, i've been a recluse in my own home for months and years at a time. i can live that way, and be ok. i believe that. i'd miss fishin. hubby would visit. :)) someone else said they'd send me stuff. what have i got to lose?

it's so hard not to think about . but i'm sure there has to be another way to do something about this. i just don't know what it is.

so--- now that i have babbled on about nothing...

what would you do?