Sunday, December 7, 2008

sunday babbling

what is wrong with me? wait , don't answer that. :))
but my sleep pattern is more screwed up than i think it ever has been. it's drivin me crazy. i don't know if it was the Summer schedule, that messed it up. or if it was before i got sick--with the lung thing--- and added a sleep aide to my already heavy pre-bed cocktail? -- or maybe even after the lung-- good lord since then - in less than 2 months--- i have taken more pain meds than i have even seen in the previous YEAR. ok.. not quite. six months maybe. but still. i'd be way way down on that intake-- if it weren't for this never-ending freakin headache. but i keep trying to get rid of it now for a month-- with little to no releif, so i have been gettin what i think they call "rebound headaches" (migraines)-- because of the meds that are supposed to help it. it's just stupid.
but-- i will tell ya this: and i don't really care if this is something you can believe in or not-- i know a lot of you do tho-- but last night-- once again, i was fighting this headache in bed.. nothing i took for it helped, i was at the point that i was even online-- yep-- with the good doctor google-- looking up "persistent headache."
cuz this is one thing..medical.. i refuse to go all mental over and think it's a tumor or worse ya know. i figured it has to be some other reason for it. that's when i found that the meds could cause the rebound h/a's -- and also-- i knew already , but thyroid probs can cause headaches too-- i just didn't know it would be one 6 week long damn headache.
so anyways-- my phone rings... i answer it.. :)).. i usually do that if it rings ya know.
and it's a friend of mine who surely gets the most spiritual person in my life award.
we talk for a while, and she decides to pray for me-- and for God to release me from this horrible headache. i have to say-- i have never heard anyone pray like that-- aside from a preacher or that type of person. and at first i was a little surprised that this was coming from who is was coming from. i've known her most her life-- of course with long absences-- but still.. she was amazing. yes, it was prolly just a simple prayer-- to any other one of you-- maybe even to her-- as i know she was distracted and busy at the time anyhow. but for me.. it was just , well, a lot to take in i guess is the easiest way to word that one.
so, she prayed aloud, and i of course tried to keep up and pray with her.
afterwards -- we still had more to talk about-- and to be honest-- my headache was still hangin on.
BUT -- this morning-- well yes, i woke up with it.. the headache-- but i'm so used to it, i didn't think much more than .. shit!-- so i did my morning junk, sat down, took my head med -- :))-- and guess what?
i can't say it's totally gone-- but i do believe that it is on it's way out. prayer works folks. i don't know if you know that-- but it really does. i've seen it work in other peoples lives-- and i have seen it work in mine too. things just seem to happen sometimes-- and it's not always at the exact time that "we" want it to happen. but with patience and faith... anything is possible. i think i had forgotten that. at least for it to be so in my life. i say it to other people all the time. but i need to be reminded i guess, that God is on my side too.

so--- i guess that's enough for pastor Soul for one day.

on to other things.

not only did i wake to a headache.. actually-- ya know what i really woke to? my damn phone ringing. that's what. who was it at 8 somethin on a sunday morning??? a stinkin recording, goin on about some factory warranty AGAIN. this place calls me and soulmans phone-- i bet between us-- 8 times a week. and there's no way to shut it up-- make it stop calling-- nothin. so i hung up on it-- went to put the phone back on my table--and i missed, the phone fell on the floor-- and that was it for me.. i was UP.

so--- i go to make my coffee--- it's always-- if not my first thought of the day-- it's my second. i LOVE my coffee in the morning. and i feel like crap-- and act even worse than that if i don't have my coffee. so what happens? i go in there-- we are OUT of coffee !!!!!! think i'm goin out into 32 degrees to go get coffee??? NOT.
there was a little-- about a cup and a half left in the pot from yesterdays scrounging... yes-- i KNEW we were out yesterday, but i didn't go anywhere, and forgot we neede3d coffee. dammit. so today-- i nuke my one and a half cups of day old coffee-- and that's it for me . it's not enough either. in fact-- i'm pissed .
i want more, but i'm too lazy slash cold to go get some. and really it pretty much sucks.

i don't think it will kill me.. but i am wondering how long it will be before i end up at starbucks. or beg hubby to go get some coffee.
there are two things i NEVER run out of in this place---- that's coffee and cigarettes. now, over the last couple months? i have run OUT of BOTH.
ugh. i just can't get it together y'all. really.

i get one thing caught up on, and another thing falls to hell. what is UP with that?
that is the million dollar question.

ok-- now what? that's my morning rant and soap box lecture of the day.

oh i know--
i still need to get a few pix up here. now that i have my camera back-- i shall do that-- latah. :)) but i will get to it today. i said that yesterday-- but yesterday was a pretty lay low-crappy day for me. not sure why-- just was.

i spose i will go now and attempt to do something productive. what that is, i really don't know yet.
but i'll get back to you on that.

hope you all have happy days in your worlds today