Tuesday, September 7, 2010

two - fer twos-day kinda

my new theme song???

well hell. if it aint one thing it's another.

such as lately-
this is not where i want this pic-
but this is where blogger wants it :((

mornin peoples-
how goes it on this fine fine day? hope all is good in your worlds.
things aint too awful bad here. well aside from a few things. i wouldn't say they were bad things. just sort of irritating things. kinda like a fly in your face that won't go away. ya know? for instance. i couldn't find my buddy online this mornin who i been havin coffee with lately. the smoke n choke is much more fun with someone to chat with with, than just sittin alone doin my banking or payin bills ya know. specially this one - she's a crack-head -- just like me. findin a person that thinks the way i do - just isn't as easy as one would think. and trust me, get two of us on a roll? hilarity, at it's finest. always makes for a nice mornin.
and, seein as i could be facin some shaky news from the doc in a couple hours? well-- let's just say - after i post this - i'll be textin her to get her ass on chat! hear that? thanks buddy - where the hell are you? you better be 'fallen and can't get UP', ... not really - but close .

so. anyhow- the 'another'? i just blocked my other blog- made it private. so don't bother goin there -- just in case you have been. or do-- for any reason. cept you MB -- cuz i know what you're up to :)) . we can fix it for ya. other than that ? i just have been thinkin a lot about how much of myself is 'out there', and how much of me really should be. i don't think it's necessary for all that is there -- especially as much of what is there about soulkid, -- it's just too much information.

or  perhaps i should say 'amunition.' more than once the words i have written here have been used against me. when i put them here to explain my ramblings- or perhaps to be understood better. well, yeh- bad idea. for way too long. i'm not sayin it won't happen again, but if you haven't noticed- i have become more guarded over time. especially with soulkids business, and issues. she is getting to an age where her info on my blog could be problematic for her - in more ways that one. in the way of her local peers or friends seeing it here. which has happened - due to facebook being linked. and also- she is lookin at soon getting a drivers license, and a job etc. her life is hers now, and i have no right to expose it here. she isn't a child anymore. so. there's some reasons that 'Soul Survivor' had to have the doors closed.

i reckon like 'sophie' said when i opened this new blog [ -- some of y'all know that she was my original soul sistah.. one of my first blog buds turned close friends, and confidant. -- ]

" A new blog... what a fun idea! It's like a fresh start, the first page of a new chapter. Hope that the pages of your life open with some new happy things to share as well, keep bloggin' Soul Sis".

that seems to be stuck in my head ever since she wrote it here.  "a new chapter-- a fresh start."
   that's what i need.  those of you who have been around from the beginning- or close to it, you've seen it - read it- know it.  the good, the bad, the ugly.  y'all know what i have been through in life , and in the past 3 years or so.  you know the storms and battles this family has fought.  what we have beat , and what has beaten us.  you know what we have survived.  you know what I have beaten , and you know what has beaten me.   i don't think anyone needs or wants to be reminded of any of it.  i know i don't. 

so yep-- this blog here - is the only accessible (to the public)  blog i have .  the rest?  i am keeping simply because i will use to refer to -- as notes - for my book.  i really am workin on it.  maybe someday i'll finish it.  if not?  a ghost writer -- or someone who knows me -- can write it for me.  God knows the info is laid out enough - between my blogs, notes, and footlockers of poetry and crap.  it's all there.  just needs someone to love it into book format.

have i mentioned that i want a service dog?  well i do.  sushi is too stupid, and eevee is too old, and too much of a liability.  i want a black lab.  for protection and companionship.  i know.  i need another dog like a hole in the fuckin head.  but part of why i don't go out - is cuz most of the time i'm alone -- and to be honest?  i have zero strength left to defend myself.  a 5 year old could kick my ass.  so- how do i get a service dog?

welp- guess that's all for today -

happy tuesday