Tuesday, January 8, 2008

just when you think you've had all the shit you can handle...

THIS comes along. "Jenkem" ever heard of it??? OMG. go read it. i always knew kids were stupid, but this takes the cake! this is beyond stupid. beyond desperate even. i cannot believe this. who would even ever think of this???

anyhow... all my tv's and internet mess is straightened out. last night, i thought all the tvs worked , apparently only the one in my room was working. and the internet still had a glitch, but it's smooth as glass now.
the tv guy said that the guys who buried the line the other day-- not only.. STOLE two friggin splitters!!! (can you believe that??) ooooh i am so mad. i mean c'mon.. fifteen bucks worth of crap-- if that???? they gotta steal it??? that's why they drove off like they did.
anyhow, they apparently also nicked a line on the side of the house--and that's why some of the tvs wouldn't work, so the guys today had to run a separate line ..blah blah blah..i know-- this is boring...sorry--i'll move on.

but--- i don't think i have anything else to say.
so goodnight..see ya tomorrow...

how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat??

why in the hell does this thing always want to type in bold? or it wants to underline, or do some other weird thing... that i don't tell it to do??? am i just stupid or somethin? don't answer that. or if you do, lie. :))

anyhow-- i suppose we shall deal with bold text this time.

(it doesn't even look bold after posted--how stupid)

and a somewhat random post i'm guessin as well. because i am blank as a new sheet of paper. it is 340 in the damn morning and i have already been up for more than an hour. i woke to midnight choking. i thought she might be having a seizure. she wasn't. she was just chokin. on what , i have no clue. i petted her, and she layed back down, and i tried to go back to sleep... but she kept doin it-- a couple more times, so i just got up with her, and took her out here to get her some water. she did drink some, and hasn't choked since, so maybe she had somethin in her throat? i don't know.
but anyhow, i wasn't able to go back to bed...didn't even bother to try.

as for midnight--and i know, for those of you who have been around a while - i know you have heard me say this a dozen times --- but here i go again. i think she really is on her last leg. i am actually surprised she made it thru december . (oh btw-- for the new folks, if you haven't figured it out yet, midnight is my extremely old lady lab) - anyhow, a few nights ago- maybe friday night.. i think she had a stroke or a seizure. at least that's what the vet said the first time she showed the symptoms she was having. but when i took her to the vet that time, it costed a lot of money-- and they really did nothing FOR her, so the few times it has happened since, i just watch her for a few days, and so far she has bounced back pretty good. this time , it's not looking as good. the other day, she wouldn't wake up. she always-- always.. wakes up when i do. it doesn't matter if it is 2 a.m. or 6 a.m - if i get up- she gets up with me..and is usually somewhat energetic and ready to go outside. and these are the times that she doesn't wake me up panting or dancing, or licking me in the face to let her out. well, the other day-- you know my damn memory- friday am, sat? thursday/ hell i don't know, but just a few days ago--- she didn't wake up til.. maybe... maybe... ten??? ish. i checked that dog two , three, four, times maybe to make sure she was at least breathing. she was of course. but when she did finally get up, she was very lethargic , and short tempered with the other animals-- which she usually takes a lot of crap from. especially sushi. stupid sushi will jump in her face and nip at her all day long and she just shakes it off.... but she got pissed ... for a couple days.. she would bark mean at her, and let her know, she did not wanna be touched. and she slept... alot. and her eye was hanging. where you could see the red part. it's really sad to see her that way. she does look better as far as her eye goes. but she is still lethargic and sleepy. and clingy. she wants to be near me. that really is nothing new. she always wants to be by me anyhow. but like a sick kid ya know? just clingy-er. so, we are worried. soulkid knows, and hubby asked if i thought she would make it much longer, and i said, no, not this time. i don't know if it will be weeks, or months.. but at this point, it just isn't fair. it really hasn't been for many many months. it will be hard to let her go. and i don't know if it will be natural or not-- i really hope it could be. for all our sake... but either way. it will be like losing a part of our family. she's been with us since soulkid was two. maybe even younger. hell i dont know. but at least, eleven years. now that i think about it... it has been longer than that. anyhow. long time. i have never in my life had an animal this long. we have had the cats their whole life-- but i literally have no idea how damn old they are. isn't that stupid? i really cannot keep track of time. someone asked me how long i have been sober THIS go round.... i said, oh maybe four or five years... i realized-- for whatever reason.. i think by looking at some med records.. it has been over seven years... it's like i just wander through life and time just doesn't mean anything. each day just runs into the next.... it is pretty strange. like fishing yesterday...for some reason, i think.. hmmmm i posted that i hadn't fished in over four months... then i remembered that we had taken Jamie and her H there in October... so even if that was the last time i fished..which it could have been , hell if i know-- but it has not been four months. WTH?
i just cannot seem to get it together. but i sure do try ya know it? i really do.
i busted ass in my house yesterday btw. got my floors all swept up and the new rugs laid out etc. washed my blasted dishes. y'all know i HATE to wash the friggin dishes.
got some crap that was still not unpacked out of my damn way in the kitchen..and put up. or boxed for goodwill. etc. i was proud of the place yesterday. and i still had time to fish..i only fished about half an hour..did good for a short time eh?
then i got home, cleaned myself up... then i posted, and started dinner... etc.
that's when the damn cable/internet guy showed up. OMG... he was here til , had to be after 7..and STILL didn't have internet workin. he DID get the tv to work tho. by then it didnt matter. i was sooo dang tired.. i left and went to my room. they were still here at 8.. i think i was asleep by 830..and as far as i know i think they were still here. the last thing i remember was hubby tellin me the internet was still not workin and probably wouldnt be (today), but they were coming back today.. sooo i was surprised to see it connect when i got up. i gotta say i was glad it did. wth would i do at 230 a.m. without internet. ugh.

so anyhow... i guess that is my post filled with random crap for your tuesday.

oh and motha.. soulkid got scoulded cuz she is not doing well in school...yet again. WTH???
why does an intelligent kid let somethin like that happen????
i tell ya what-- if she goes to summer school THIS year-- i will NOT be driving her. she can ride the BUS. one hour a damned day and 200.00... for screwin around???? UGH.
it infuriates me.

hmmmm. ok.
inhale. exhale.
i love to smoke.

happy day to all of you