Monday, December 7, 2009

mughndane mughnday

hiya peeps-
yep-- monday has befallen us once again. i actually do feel like that cry-baby up there today too. i won't bore you with my whining, but yeh, i'm a crybaby today. sarcastically, and literally. if i knew soulman planned on takin soulkid to school today -- i may have just stayed my ass in bed! but, i didn't know, so i of course got up.
soulman did however have the coffee made. so i do have to give him his kudos for that -- and say that i was happy to have fresh hot coffee waiting for me. i really am easy to please folks. i know it doesn't seem like it at times, - cuz reading the written word-- just doesn't come across the way it is meant to sometimes. but really, i'm so low maintenance, i put 90 percent of other women on this planet to shame.

so. anyhow-- my head is a skillet filled with scrambled eggs at the moment.
yesterdays post; i was trying to be all grateful -- well, i wasn't really trying to .. i just was. there were things i had been noticing in myself, and i just tossed em out there.

today , on the other hand? not feelin quite so "into it". if ya know what i mean.
remember how i said 'i hope it doesn't sneak up on me' (?)
well. i think 'it' kinda did. dammit.
i don't think it's gonna last. this mood i mean. at least i hope it doesn't. i really don't want to feel or be like 'this' for the next three or four weeks. cuz trust me-- that would not be a good thing. yesterday, i didn't even change out of my jammies. and needless to say-- i didn't leave the house either. i literally, did NOTHING. i sat like a zombie. felt like a bitch. hid in my bedroom. took a long nap. stayed to myself.
and i didn't like it. what i didn't like even more? no one seemed to notice. i don't mind about soulkid ya know. she did talk to me etc. here and there. but she had chores, and company etc. but really. i was feeling a little invisible.
i didn't care--- but i noticed.
whatever. right?

so anyhow-- obviously it is a crybaby day-- and i hope it changes. i'm sure it will, i just need to be busy. and trust me , i have tons to do that can keep me busy today. so that won't be a problem.

just one more thing before i let you continue with your day---

i don't remember if i mentioned it or not---- but the belly biopsy thing came back good. i kinda knew it would. i very often have quirky symptoms of all sorts and never find out why. but yeh, that was good. nothin bad to report.

but --- remember the capsule camera thing? i am scheduled for that on wednesday the 9th. perfect day for that. at least it'll keep my mind of of what i mentioned yesterday, right? hopefully.
i'm not worried about it at all. there will be no sedation, and i won't have to drink any of that horrible nasty crap (haha) that they make you drink.
only thing is that tomorrow, i have to be on a strict clear liquid diet. but hell, i would much rather starve than drink that gallon of shit, and poop every ten minutes. OMG that is pure torture. so yep happy i'm not goin that route.

they said i have to wear a 'monitor ' around my waist for like 8-10 hours-- that's the 'camera' that films the pill--- that is soooo wild to me. then it's all done. i take the monitor back--- and NO, they do not want the camera back-- thank God. i was NOT lookin forward to "finding" that for them. ugh.

so-- i'll update you on that as i know more. again, in a way-- i want answers-- but not a serious diagnosis. so i don't know really how i feel about it.

on that happy note--- i'm outta heah-

have happy days in your worlds today-
i shall do my best