Wednesday, December 17, 2008

people are strange-- when you're a blogger

mornin people--

i hope y'all are havin good days today-- and no one is freezin any important body parts off.

my heater is on the fritz-- for real. i wasn't just sayin that for bad poetry sake yesterday. i used to wonder how in the world do people just up and abandon their homes , leaving everything behind. now i know. when i was a kid, maybe 10-11 years old; my best friend and i came upon an abandoned house, and of course our curiosity got the better of us, so we had to explore. it was obvious that an entire family lived there, mom, dad, at least 2 kids, maybe 3. it was very eerie to be there, since we were so young, of course all kinds of crap crossed our minds. they were murdered in their sleep. they were kidnapped by devil worshipers. a few more, then the obvious= that they just left, and didn't take anything with them. i still get a weird feeling to think back to walking thru that house. but anyhow-- live and learn. i could do it here. at least i can wish that i could.
i / we , could never afford to replace a lot of this stuff. like furniture and tvs etc that we have bought over the last year. so leaving it behind is really a dumb idea. i'm so used to having used crap. yard sale or hand me down stuff. usually the only thing we would buy new would be beds or computers. we went totally insane last year, and i so freakin regret it.
more than blowing all the money? i regret the new freakin credit--debt--- even more.
if it wouldn't totally destroy us, i would take my car back, and buy a five thousand dollar nissan with cash. i so hate havin a car payment. i got a 7,000 nissan in like 98 or so , and i drove that thing til the wheels fell of (not literally) but close... right after i traded it in , in 05.. someone came to the door tryin to bill me for a tow-- cuz it had broke down and been abandoned somewhere-- ha--no way not my car. that car drove so well, and had so few problems i couldn't believe it. and i even think it was respected more by the clan than the damn new one. after that-- i got a suburu legacy-- for 1500.00 it was like over 10 years old.. i drove it for a year or two-- it had a/c , looked good, i loved that little car... when i sold it-- i even made a fifty dollar profit.
wth??? i just don't need a car like this. it gets more trashed by the week. not by me--except a couple cig burns :(( but they're on the drivers floor, ya can't hardly see em. but i'm talkin about food, and drink stains..and mascara on the back of my seat! ugh. why should i pay for that???
i hate to. i cringe every single time i write the check. i have always loved my car. every car i have ever had--- i loved. even an old fishbowl pacer :)) if it was mine-- i loved it.
my heart isn't in this car-- i have resented it since the night i bought it. today i resent it even more. i'm just not the type of person to have an expensive car-- or a high car payment. i gotta find a way to get out of this mess.

so anyhow-- looks like the weather is gonna turn around a little for the better. at least temp - wise. sposed to be ok today, just cold, but not as bad as the last couple days. then the following couple days may push 60-- but rain. that's ok tho. as long as i can leave the house and do my crap without wearin ten pounds of clothes and a bulky coat. i just may survive.. well, another week or two anyhow.
i sooo really do wish i could live someplace that's warm year round. i just don't know where that someplace is. y'all know my memory, but we used to live in jacksonville--- i kinda remember not needing a coat too often there.... but then i remember workin mid shift on the flight line, and how flippin cold my hands would get. of course-- i wouldn't be workin on planes in the middle of the night this time. that might make the difference. ugh.
well, i guess this is where the job is, so this is where we stay, but i can dream right.

ohhh maan, i just remembered -- i been writin about BS all this time, and haven't even mentioned what i started this whole thing for in the first place. senile much?

anyhow, i checked my site meter-- i do that sometimes out of boredom just to see what folks google to get here. sometimes it's just mundane stuff, not worth mentioning. but today-- i had several.... yes , i said several, as in like four, perverts, finding my page, in search of Sugar -- from survivor 's -- tits ! what is wrong with people. what makes these idiots even think that just because she is on a damn tv show that she is gonna be online half nekkid? doesn't their mamma teach em nuthin? well, actually, i just remembered somethin... they did say she was a pin up girl. maybe she is online half nekkid. hmmm. but regardless, y'all do realize which post they are being directed to don't you....? the one about the sugar tit i wrote a while back. a cry baby post. dumbasses. we should all set em up. get the hugest rolly pollyest nekkid woman, without teeth of course, that we can find.. give it the proper title---- and when these guys look for her-- they will find their real true love. bwa hahahaha.
i just might do that.

so anyhow. what else?
i actually cooked dinner last night. i can't tell you how long it's been since i cooked a decent meal in this house. and it was perfect for the freezin weather. chicken and noodles. yum yum. i shoulda made corn bread, but didn't think of it til it was time to eat. so maybe next time.
nothin gets me cookin better than below freezin temps i guess. i just do not want to open the front door when it's cold like that. i don't know how some of y'all do it. or why you do it. 8, 12, 14 inches of snow... 30 below temperatures... oh my Lord, it would kill me in ten minutes flat. i think i'm more than half serious too. i really don't think my body could physically handle it. i would just drop dead. well, i'm not that lucky-- it would be a slow and painful death, but death would be imminent for sure.

anyhow-- i'm just babblin for babblin sake now.. so i guess i should go get my bills paid and see if i have any christmas money left. :O
if not-- i get paid on christmas eve.. i can really play santa if i have to wait til then. :))

will someone come run my life for me? well, manage it i mean. i've done nothin but dig a pit of hell this past year, and it just keeps gettin deeper.

hope you all have happy days in your worlds today