Friday, August 15, 2008

And the thunder rolls---

Welp—here I am… told ya I wouldn’t stay gone too long. Not that I have been missed too terribly, but there’s been a few to check on me here and there. So those are who I am writin for. Well, them and me. I do enjoy writing. I wrote way back when, even when no one read here. I just write to write, and clear my head sometimes.

In fact, those are the times my better writing seems to enter these pages. When I don’t feel pressured or censored—or protective, or judged. Ya know. I do know ya know—at least some of you do—cuz you’ve told me. It’s too bad we end up feeling that way here—because rarely do we begin our blogs that way—but often we do end them that way. Less open, less “honest”, not as in lying (less honest) just less information, “less honest”, ya know. Yep, thought so.

Well anyhow.

I have been struggling a bit with the thought of stopping the blog thing. But I won’t do that. I have too many people that I just really care about here. And just as many who return that to me. This reading and writing and yalls worlds and even finding new people to read and share with… have simply become a big part of my daily life over this past couple of years. I can’t just walk away from that.

I have walked away from too much in my life as it is. And that is just a part of me that I want to change. Actually, I think I have already changed it. as I have seen myself try to leave this blog—your blogs—even my family a time or two this passed couple years--- I just can’t do it. I have learned what is important to me through y’all… with y’all.. and I can’t change what I’ve learned. What a terrible waste of love and openness that would be. Don’t you think?

Not just for me, but any of us. I really think we are a family of sorts here… so many of us all seem to “know the same people”.. and support each other.. it seems almost strange to me, that it worked out that way. But it also seems that it happened for a reason. It seems it happened that way for reasons we may never know too. Reasons that some have age similarities… religious similarities, childhood similarities, medical similarities, etc etc etc.. or even a conglomeration of several. Some have lost children, some have lost spouses, some have been abused, or have mental illnesses, or physical ailments, that no one else would understand—if not for certain people in “our group”.

For me—I get—and surely hope—I give—to each of you what you get and give to me.. (did that come out right???)

Before I began blogging, I was a shell of who I am today—and by no means is that perfect—LOL—y’all know that. But I sure have come a long way from where I was in the beginning.

it’s been a really rough few months for me here—and y’all know that—most of you do—but I have kept a lot of it to myself—or at least very few others—like one or two. Maybe one day I’ll get brave and just spill it.

someone told me recently—without me even goin into detail—that they “kinda thought ya might be”

after my answer to how have you been lately“.. was “oh, I’m in hell.”

So—maybe it’s almost time to dump it. who knows.

I do know I need more details before I can do that. A week or so. I am not the judge and jury here. I need a professional to make the decisions, when that happens, and I know what the dealio and plan of action is—if I don’t crack up over it—maybe if I do—I’ll let ya know more about it then.

Ok—enough of that ---

About the thunder?? Wanna know where that came from?

Eevee---- woke me up—us--- in a panick at 3 a.m. for the thunderstorm. I went ahead and got up with her. I wasn’t all the way asleep anyhow. Just kinda layin there listening to the storm and her nails on the floor—click-click-click--- ugh.

Poor eevee.

I wonder why she is so scared of thunder. Even rain on the window. It’s upsetting to me. I try to get her to get in bed with us—she wants to-and tries—but her back feet slip on the rugs—or the rugs slip—whichever—and then THAT scares her—so she’s just a ball of crybaby nerves, and won’t get on the bed even tho she wants to. So I usually just get up, and she’ll calm down.


But even tho she wants to pee—she refuses to go out and face the monster that is thunder.

The dog has issues.

But she’s a good girl.

Cept when she tries to kill sushi.

And I aint even mentionin my cats.

Ugh. The cats—I think I have soulkid “almost “ convinced that those cats are worthless little shittin eatin , scratchhin machines that only destroy and disrupt the entire home. But we still have the dilemma of nowhere to send them. L(

And that puts us in a bind, and worries us. They are the devils spawn ya know. The cats are.


HAPPY FRIDAY to all---

And to all a good

“SOMETHIN you like”