Tuesday, February 12, 2008

time, thunder and teeth oh my

well hell.

i don't know a thing about numerology-- and even if i did , i most likely wouldn't believe it, but the number 333 has been a significant number for some odd reason for like the last couple of years or so. and just in case i didn't get in here to post before the clock rolled over to the next minute-- it was 333 a.m. hmmmm.
it's not just a time with that number-- it has been hwy numbers, mileage on my car, gas prices, bank balances, bill amounts, all kinds of things. places you would not expect to see a number like that-- i have, and not only that, my sister has too. it just pops up. people even leave me comments here at 333. or i post at 333. a.m - or p.m it just happens, and turns up all the time. it's very strange.
as my mom was getting sicker a couple years ago, my sister and i would see this number everywhere-- we used to say-- "maybe that''s what time she will die".. it wasn't however. in fact, i don't remember what time that was-- just that it was dark. i'll never be able to forget that it was dark.

so anyhow-- not only did i wake up too early-- 3 a.m. --- i woke to a big thunderstorm.. the kind that would keep any sane person off of the computer-- but here i sit. i tried to go back to sleep, but it was another of those "sweaty" mornings. sometimes i wake up soaked-- and don't really know why. dr's can't tell me why-- so i have quit even worrying. but i do wonder. so as i laid there, cold, and listening to the thunder, my mind took off. when that happens--- i know it's all over with.
the wind is blowing like crazy too btw. i hear my chairs outside blowing over every now and then one will fall... i think there's one of four left to go. and the little whirly thing on top of the house is about to fly off i think. it's just whizzin around like crazy . i even hear wind in the chimney/fireplace.
i'm surprised it hasn't woken anyone up-- at least sushi-- it's just noisy. creepy. but , everyone's sleepin like a bunch of little babies. well, cept me.

anyhow-- not too sure about y'alls yesterdays yet-- i haven't really checked around since yesterday .
as for mine-- simple plans-- little accomplishment.

my main agenda held a few errands...
which i think i completed-- well... none.
i thought hubby had the day off-- but he had a odd shift again.. like 3-7 or something-- he ended up leaving around 12 or 1 ish and got home about 6.
we ended up going out to pay a bill-- and had lunch. (i'm still waiting for my breakfast out :))
by the time we got back it was time for him to get ready for work-- and my plan was to clean my kitchen and go back out for other errands--- but neither happened. i do know better than to eat a heavy lunch-- but i did it anyways. and i was ruined. eating too much for me, is like a normal person running five miles. it actually wears me out. so, i laid down with my book... i got it almost finished ... and fell asleep. ugh.
i woke up at like 4 .... my first thought of course is soulkid! she gets home around 340 ish. so i jump up all panicky-- not remembering if she was locked out or not-- or even home at all--cuz i didn't hear anything. but there she was-- on the computer -- big surprise there. not.
so- i ask her about her day etc.. get a drink.. begin to sit down.. when she says---
"hey mom, aren't we sposed to go to ortho today?" all nonchalantly . oh man. one thing i
have always hated is being late-- anywhere.
so here it is-- 420 already-- her appointment time.. and we are just leaving. we jump in the car-- i call ortho-- of course being late, got us pushed back like 45 minutes at the appointment. ugh. another thing i hate-- waiting. seems i'd be used to that by now-- but nope-- always waitin on someone -- or something. so anyhow-- all that crap , for what? it was THE shortest actual ortho appt she has EVER had-- BUT-- we sat in the damn waiting room for 45 minutes to get called back---- so they could LOOK IN HER MOUTH. that's it. they didn't even change the bands this time. nuthin.

know what they did do??? they told me on the way out-- oh by the way-- insurance has refused to pay their remaining balance of 369.00 AND you still have a balance of 115.00. (which BOTH i think are total bullshit. - but haven't had a chance to look into yet)-- but they said they won't take her braces off til the balance is paid! WTF! they shoulda had the damned things off her teeth six months ago any damn way. now they threaten to keep her in braces jail til i pay money that should already be paid.. wth do I have to do with what insurance said they would pay??? i don't know anything about that crap. as for what they say i owe? i am 99 percent sure i paid that. i had a payment book-- paid it all-- and never got another bill-- i would think that means i am paid to date. but hell-- i guess i don't know anything about that either. oh well. guess it's another "learning experience". i hate that phrase.

so anyhow-- yep. that was fun. not really. but it happens i guess.
then we get home.. what? 530 or so-- prolly later actualy, cuz soulkid talked me into stopping for MAKEUP. good lord. i have lived nearly 42 years without makeup-- (for the most part of course)-- seems this girl of mine needs something every week. then of course-- she gets A zit, and thinks she she needs some kind of dermatology test kit. ugh. and me? well, i'm just a sucker i spose--- cuz i'm just happy that she is into that kinda stuff. i guess. so we stop at the store--
maybe if i wasn't craving my damn peanut butter M-N-M's -- i coulda "just said no"
but i was gonna eat my way into a calmer mood. didn't really work though.
we got home, and i had to cook dinner right away. stew-- turned ok-- but of course the meat coulda been better. i like stew that cooks all day-- not in an hour or two. but ., it was alright. i've done better though.

so anyhow-- what now? the book. i did finally finish the damn book. usually if or when i read a book.. when i finish it-- i either say to myself ... damn that was good. or i wish i could write like that. or what a piece of shit. you get the drill. i have to critique it at least a little.
well, i finish this one, and i'm like--- OMG-- "critics raved"???? best memoir since tobias wolfs This Boys LIfe (which i loved!)--- that's why i bought it! they compared it to one of my all time favorite movies... but noooo. it was a piece a crap. if it woulda been a library book, and not one i actually paid 20 bucks for-- i bet money i wouldn't have even read the damn thing all the way through. but i kept "waitin for it to get better".
my final thought on THIS book?
OMG.. if this woman can write this book.. and even get OPRAH to back it--?????--- WTH????
i KNOW i could write my book. much better too.

that's what i went to sleep thinking about.. maybe i should get back on the book idea. i don't know the first thing about the first thing about writing a book. but i know i have one in me.. and i know it is much better than this one i just read-- and actually a few others i have read too.
as far as non-fiction goes-- or autobiography-- memoir type of stories--- well, people just don't have lives like me and my family.

y'all know i could never tell you what book i'm talkin about-- i'd get soo busted for "slander" or somethin for doggin it... even though i guess i should have a right to my opinion.. especially on literature -- wouldn't you think? but really.

what a bunch of crap. how hard is it really to write a book? is it really as hard as i let my own fear think it is?
and if i ever did write it--how would it end? how do you end a book without an an ending?
all the years i've thought about it-- i imagined it would end with some great personal healing, or spiritual awakening. neither of which i have arrived at yet.

it really sucks just how paralyzing (my) fear can be.

so anyhow-- i think my child has pink eye-- last night her whole eye was swollen and sore. so if nothing has changed there-- she will be going to the dr today-- school will send her right home if they think she has pink eye.

and aside from that being up in the air-- i have to play catchup today-- on lots of stuff.

i just found out my bro in law may be coming the end of march-- (we all know that's a great time of year for me)-- but i told hubby-- it just might be a good distraction, so tell him to come on. (because he was gonna tell him not to--yet.)
plus-- fishing is liable to be top notch around here about that time. he and i have had a long running fishing competition goin. up until his last visit i think i was ahead-- but some of you might remember-- he did pretty darn good out at lake fork. which is where we hope to go this time too. i think that is where MY ten pound bass lives :)) and i'll get him someday.

ok.. i have blabbed enough. about pretty much nuthin too.

hope you all have good days today...
mine will be busy-- and hopefully good too.