Saturday, February 28, 2009

holy bat hell soulman

SO. who wants to hear a story?
i already know Brad does...cuz he requested one.
he said if i got bored i should tell him a story.
not that i'm that bored,
seein as it has taken me about three hours
-- no kiddin--
to gather and edit the pix that go with this story.
but-- i'll tell the story anyhow.

[this is NOT fiction]

"Soulman and the unfortunate wretch of an assclown "

how's THAT for a title? kinda shows ya that it MUST be non-fiction.

ok, ready? let's get goin... i'm not really prepared to tell a story in story form. it's been a while since i did that.. but i will try.

no-- i won't. i just don't have it in me right now. i was up til 3 a.m last night-- along with soulman. and up at 7 or 8. BUT-- no-- sorry folks-- this isn't that kinda story.
that's too bad really. it woulda been a whole lot less stressful.

do i have your attention yet? i'm thinkin i do.

alrighty then. our evening began last night at around 6 pm. it was to be a relaxing evening out. Soulkid had her own plans, so it would be just me and the soulman.

first, we picked up a friend of the soulchild, and we headed to the mall. yep. i actually ventured out to mall hell for the evening. not for any shopping or crowd bashing.. no-- the plan was to let thing one and thing two go their way, and soulman and i were going to the movies.

THAT'S not where we had any problems. we gave the soulkid some cash, and they headed off into teen hell. really-- i had no idea over 100 kids would be hanging around at this mall . they were everywhere. literally. like fleas! and most without parents. not that i'm complaining. we turned ours loose too. i just was surprised, because i don't usually see that many kids anywhere at one time--other than school - or somewhere.

it was like a fresh first deep breath out of a coma [i'm guessing :)) ] ... simply to be away from the house, on a not too chilly evening, kidless. i almost felt like an adult.
the movie was good. it was not what either of us had expected really; but we both did enjoy it. the humor in the movie was welcomed as well. it's been a while since we've laughed like that. in fact-- the entire theater was laughing -- not throughout of course, but seriously-- aLOT.

oh , i bet you wanna know what movie it was???? it was THIS one -

'and i highly recommend you see it'

now. onto our story. this is a story with a small cast of characters, and a large amount of emotion.

the movie let out at about nine thirty or so, and we were to meet up with the girls at ten. we decided to walk over to the book store and kill some time, rather than just stand around looking old in this open mall overflowing with tweens and teens.
first on the list before the book store though, was i wanted a cigarette; so we walked over to the car and went ahead and parked closer to the theater while i smoked one.
cigarettes do taste better after you haven't had one for a while; dontcha think? i do. except for the fact that i have been smoking non stop since we left the mall . i didn't sleep smoke tho.

well, we walked into the book store, which was also packed with teeny boppers. they made soulman and i both have near panic attacks. they were everywhere, squeeling, and acting stupid, and being in our way as we attempted to choose a magazine to buy. i wanted to roll with my inner bitch and "queen earlene" each and every last one of them within ear shot --- or striking distance. but, i maintained myself. i also rescued soulman, in my own little way. i asked him to go buy me a coffee, while i went to pay for the magazine i got-- surprisingly in the midst of the brat pack.
we met up again and got the hell out of there, only to realize that we still had a little bit of time to waste before meeting the soulkids. we used that time to catch our breath from being in the store with twice the bodies it should hold by the fire department regulations. and you know, i lit a smoke. so much for quittin eh? hey, i tried. i was almost there too-- til the chantix made me lose my mind. i'd rather smoke thank you.

finally, we get a call from soulkid. she wanted to go stay the night with a different friend she met up with , and we were still responsible for taking soulkid two back to her house. (yes i know-- don't say it)
so first, we talked to soulkid3's mother before sending the original soulkid off with them. then we loaded up in the soul wagon to take soulkid 2 home. that all sounds ok. right?
well. not quite. there's a little something i failed to mention there.

y'all remember the 18 year old little punk that i have mentioned a time or two here don't you? well, the little bastard has had a birthday recently, and is now 19 years old.
YES, 19. AND he STILL hangs out with - has sex with - and supplies drugs and alcohol to 12-16 year old KIDS.

does that still upset me? oh ya.
soulman? most definitely !
and don't you just know,
ASSCLOWN, has been fearing an angry dad for some time.
OR -- could he be THAT stupid, for real?

are ya gettin the gyst of things yet? oh i know some of you have it by now.
yepperz. remember when we were trading kids around in front of the theater? the tres soulkids informed us that the 19 year old little fuck was there! somewhere in range that two of the most pissed off parents in this town could finally confront him.
--- i do want to say his name-- but i won't.
let's just call him the little bastard, or, the little fucker. or, how bout just whatever comes to my mind? ugh. i only have to think about him, and i almost spontoniously combust!

back to the scene now....
soulman, myself, and thing 2, were loaded up and headed home.
remember thing 1 = being soulkid -- went home with a different friend.
soulman asked thing 2 who was sitting in the back seat of the soul wagon,
"if you see this kid, will you tell me?"
it was almost funny. this 'little fuck' has not made life any easier for thing 2 either. she had no idea what might transpire if we were to see him, but just a moment later, she points to two boys, walking across the street right in front of us! she says
"there he is, the one in the hat!"

if i didn't know better, i would have thought that soulman was gonna run over him. he almost did. he sped the car up, and stopped hard a mere foot from him. little bastard was like a deer , frozen in the headlights for a moment before the two boys continued walking.
by their third step, soulman threw the car into park, and leaving the engine on, flung the door open and ran over and threw little fucker to the ground. he had no where to go, as there was a small pipe fence behind him. which his head most likely hit when he fell.
so, soulman asked are you "so and so".. he asked him three or four times and the kid denied it as many, finally saying his name was john.
of course, we had the girl with us, and she said, "no, it's HIM".
soulman towered over this punk, like the hulk would tower over bambi!
punk boy was drunk, and trying not to show fear. he would grin or smile-- which only made soul-hulk more angry. you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

no sooner did soulman have him on the ground, did a large-but not as large, man as soulman - stopped and tried to break them up. not physically, but he was calm and reminding soulman, STFU dude-- even words can get you in trouble. not a quote, but after he said it ten times it may as well have been. the man who stopped, did SAY - "he's just a kid.." That is when his demeanor changed-- when we both answered with a "he's 19!" in unison. the guy still didn't want a fight to ensue, but he was no longer willing to get in a fight himself, in order to stop this "thing" between a very big man, and a scrawny little fucker who was 19 years old-- and who by now he knew ALL about. because for ten minutes or so soulman was --- i don't know. he never once hit him, or choked him.. he did have a maybe a collar hold on him...and at one point, flung him up like a pice of yarn to his feet from the ground. by this time i began to be more worried that he would hit him,
and i didn't want him to. y'all know i really do want this kid to have a hurtin put on him... but you also must know--- i don't want any of us soul-peeps in jail to have it happen.

so-- i decided i would "intervene", a little. with little fucker on his feet now, i could see a can top sticking out of his jacket pocket. without saying a word, i took it out to see what it was. if it was alcohol.. i --- thought maybe i could throw it at him, and break his nose. perhaps. we all feel tougher til we face something, right? well, luckily , it was an energy drink, and i just placed it back into his pocket. it wasn't like he could do anything to me-- or anyone else for that matter, because soulmans hands didn't leave this turd the entire time.

i could tell things were coming to an end when soulmans' voice quit shaking from anger-

but i still had the fear that soulman was gonna choke or punch him. so did the other two bi-standers. his FIFTEEN year old friend he was with, and our good samaritan. thing two was still in the car-- she never did exit either. (ohhhh if she was our kid-- this woulda been an entirely different story.") we are angry enough now, one more grain of salt in these wounds would make a lot of difference.
i just couldn't leave what may well be my last opportunity to say what i had to say to this little bastard motherfucker. so i let him have it. "gran-gran/queen earlene/soul"
let's just say---- i don't think we'll be seein that little shithead anywhere near our house , or our kid again. if we do, he is even dumber than we thought.

we didn't tell him, although he asked over and over who our kid was--- we have a feeling he has figured it out by now. i have to say i am worried about our house, and our vehicles... in case he decides to vandalized something. i really don't think he has the guts to attempt to fight soulman... little PUKE. even i would have no fear goin up against that bastard. not in defense of my kid-- even some of her friends. this guy is a sick puny fuck, and i'm tellin ya-- it may not be us-- but he will get what's comin some day--- from someone.

and when that happens---

and i hope he spends a very loooong time behind bars---
as someonebodys' lovah :))

[the not so very end.]

Friday, February 27, 2009

it's "howdy dudy" time!

mornin folks!

i shoulda been a weather guesser -- know why? cuz i would think i could do a better job than these people do around here lately.

have a look-
what's wrong with this picture?

69.6 °F
(27 minutes ago)

(forecast for friday?)
59° F | 38° F

yep-- it's like 6:45 in the morning--and already almost 70 degrees... the sun is even comin up--ohhhh NO- i am not complainin about that. it's just that if you look at the forecast - for today-- we are already ten degrees above the predicted high for the entire day. how stupid. what kind of education do these people need-- or get?

yesterday was off too-- strangely, also by ten degrees. you won't believe how hot it got. we hit 95 degrees yesterday! in frickin february.

did i go outside---ummmm no.
i really regret that-- but i was very busy with other crap -- that my mind tells me cannot wait an hour or two. ugh. so-- that would be a resounding "NO, i did not." -- on the did i go fishin yesterday question. dammit. but i'm goin today. well, i hope to. i'll get back to you on that. cuz i do still have a ton of shit to do.

plus, i was thoroughly exhausted-- from no sleep the night before-- and no nap all day either-- i really hate the not sleeping part of this crap
-- but then.. there are times-- could go on for weeks-- that i sleep too much-- like 15 - 16 hours a day if i include a four or five hour nap.

this bi-polar shit really is for the bears :))

AND THEN-- there's soulkid bein home all all day, which is like havin "pig pen" from charlie brown here all damn day.. leavin little messes every damn where -- for , yep, you guessed it--

ME to clean up my horrid kitchen..etc-- that didn't get done yesterday. well, the dishes did, but ya couldn't tell now. ERG!

SO--- my plan of the day (POD) for today is .. well, i should actually be ready to go by now--to group-- that lasts til noon--but usually doesn't really get out til 12:20-12:30..
so half the day is gone already by the time i leave there.
then i "could" take care of my business-- post office, pay a couple late bills in person . -

AAAND--- the dreaded come home and clean my sty-- ugh-- soooo fun!

OR-- i could wear shorts--and vans --load my fishin rods and tackle--on the way to group-- and head straight to my pond after i'm done there. and just fish til i turn blue!

hmmm...... it doesn't take a genius to figure that one out--does it?

besides----- i need to get UP offa my lazy arse-- the new meds are makin me FAT! and don't even say it's not true-- i got weighed at the doc-- i have already gained six pounds!
somebody haelp me!!!!

welp--- on that happy note-- i must go get ready and hit the road runnin. specially if i gotta load fishin gear.


Thursday, February 26, 2009

it's 3 a.m. - ish ...

and it is 67 degrees outside! -- if it wasn't dark, i would be on my way to the pond right now! but-- obviously, it's dark, and will be for several more hours.
(well, not counting the twenty minutes i just wasted in my ADHD distraction.... focus, soul. dammit.)

so anyhow--- where was i. hmmm, nowhere really yet eh? oh fishin. i hope i can make that happen, and still be productive around here-- not a whole lot has been taken care of house -wise this past week... but my business stuff is gettin there. that stuff just fries my brain, and by the time i am ready to stop workin on the money-or lack thereof-- i'm ready for my jammies, and to just get comfortable somewhere. so, no extra activities--or chores are gettin far . but i do what i can, when i can. seems like the best way to find the finish line, ya think?

well anyhow.. "today" - seein as i haven't slept at all -- wednesday-- it's still kinda "today".. ugh.
well... it started ok-- well, except for the panic attack-- but ike i said hubby called before i totally freaked. so that was a help.
after that, i got ready and left for the group thing. at that time i was feelin pretty ok.
well--- til later. i ended up in the hot seat again. only the second time-- but it's just never comfortable there. i don't offer up much in group--- so i get called on now and then.. today was one of those now- or - thens.
some of you know i'm comin pretty close to one of my "bad" months-- or time of year i should say. for several years, i would end up in a hospital around this time of year. it took about five years to realize that--- but once i did--- it changed. i became more aware of the triggers, and the thinking, and decided to just try to get through on my own..well..with meds of course. (RX).
this time-- i will admit i'm a little more concerned than i have been in the last few--or couple years. just because i am still stabalizing on new meds--- i'm trying to get passed all this shit i just went through with my kid and myself-- and no folks-- soulman is not immune to stress or pain--- he just handles it better than us girls. hmmm, or not. maybe i should just say he handles it differently-- not so much better. but he has never had to be admitted for psyche over any of this. i gotta give him kudos for that---- i have seen him on the brink-- but he pulls himself out-- eventually. it's just a little tough during the waiting process.

oh hell.. here i go, blabbin away like i know what i'm talkin about. ugh. i haven't slept at all tonight. i was just settling in, i had taken my meds, i prolly woulda shut down everything and been asleep by 1130 --- IF --- circumstances wouldn't have prevailed.

i don't even know how to explain it-- so i won't even try--- but i will say-- it had to do with my two souls. one picked a fight with the other-- for no apparent reason.. except to that particular soul peep. UGH. i just don't understand what went down between them... but for me? it was all over with. my drowsiness from the meds--and time-- had all but flip flopped on me. another freaking panic attack for the day. the yelling around here has settled down so much this last month or two-- that i have just learned--or am learning to be more calm---sometimes. but tonight-- jees-0-pete, man. i had to get up-- go in my office--get online--get some headphones and tunes goin. i had to escape-- and since the xanax didn't do it-- welp-- here i am, at 343 am. ha, dammit, if i woulda watched the time-- i might have made it by 333. :))

anyhow. i just don't know what to say.
i guess i'll make some coffay-- i shall return.. hopefully with a new or fresh thought in this empty head of mine.

i'm back. nuthin fresh-or-new came to mind. well, my coffee is fresh--and new. does that count? thought not. oh well.

so anyhow. i think i'm kinda stuck here. i spose i'll go and finish up payin some bills, etc.....
today is gonna be another really nice day-- a little cooler but not much--- i can still don my shorts and vans-- and go fishin !
i'm even gonna "make" soulkid go with me. she doesn't like to fish-- but if or when she does-- she realizes "catching" them is pretty cool.

i'll update later

til then
ore vois peeps

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

another busy day ahead --

howdy folks--
i'm writing something i didn't plan on writing when i started--- but that's just me, and how my mind works these days.
i already had some of these pix up, so maybe i'll just work both ideas into this thing. yep-- it's early-- ok, not so early, but my brain just hit overdrive---

did i ever mention to y'all that i have PTSD?? well, i'm sure i have , somewhere along the way here--- BUT, one part of this diagnosis is-- the sound of sirens. depending on where my family is , or sometimes where i am... it can cause mild, to severe panic attacks with me.

this is due to something that happened years ago-- that i don't have time or effort to get into right now--- but trust me, it's valid... and it sucks.

so-- gettin on with this thing--

soulman just left for work-- maybe ten minutes before i began to hear sirens. LOTS of sirens. it had to be cops, ambulance, fire truck - paramedics. the whole shebang.,and they were close-- and loud.
i went straight into my panic mode-and thinking--

he got in a wreck.. it's him.. i should drive over and look down the street--- a hundred thoughts went thru my head in a matter of seconds. i HATE IT! i have been this way for about 20 years. it's a fear, and panic that even anxiety meds don't help. (much), but right now, i am not on any meds-- (note to self--take a.m. meds) :))

so anyhow--- the sirens --- ugh --- i just new it was close--whatever "it" was-- and must be bad cuz there was so many.

eegads! y'all just don't know what it does to me.

one of two "moods" will overtake me today---

or THIS_

BUT-- hey ---
luckily soulman is well aware of my panic disorder-- and many of the triggers for it..

so, before i could worry for too long---
he called me.. to let me know-- it was right down the street--- but it was not him.

apparently a highschool girl was driving in front of him...
and flipped her car!!!!
OMG. how scary--
(having a hubby and an almost driving kid--
i don't even wanna think of car wrecks!)
anyhow he said he stopped---of course-- and helped her out of her car-- called 911 etc...
her parents showed up while we were on the phone.
apparently she wasn't hurt-- but i'll bet she's gonna be feelin some pain later.

so anyhow--- her windows fogged up-- and she couldn't see-- and ended up on her side in a concrete culvert.
she was just inexperienced---
she shoulda stopped --or rolled her window down... or any number of things to clear her windshield ---

note to moms and dads- with driving kids---
add foggy window solutions to your list of --
"if this happens while you're driving-isms.

and be sure to tell 'em , before
THAT happens.


anyways , i am late gettin ready to go , so i gotta get offa heah---

but THIS-

was gonna be my original post for the day----
i had planned on bitching about hubby and his x-box 360 addiction.
but i think i'll just be glad he is ok today-- and the girl in the wreck is ok---
and it can ALWAYS be worse---
no matter wth, you think is so bad.

happy humpday!!!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

you know you're jealous -

have you seen such a beautiful day at this time of year?

man, it was a good day today-- and temps around here-- 79-80 degrees F.

can you believe it? and i was too busy to fish! bum-mer.

i busted my ass today.. still doesn't feel like i did much-- but i actually did. i bet i put in an easy twelve hour day. now i'm fixin ta pass out.

a couple things i did get finished? taxes-- almost all the way sorted.

but i do still have a looong way to go.

i just wanted to show these weather reports-- cuz i know many of you are stuck in cold, and or, snow.

have a gander---

Partly Cloudy
76° F | 61° F
Partly Cloudy
81° F | 52° F
Partly Cloudy
61° F | 41° F
54° F | 32° F
56° F | 36° F
Partly Cloudy Partly Cloudy Partly Cloudy Clear Clear

it hit 81 degrees here today-- and i was too busy to fish. dagnabit! woulda been a perfect day to catch 'you" a delicious bass :)).

how bout this?

in further tx weather news

... The first 90 degree temperatures of the year in North Texas...

Although most parts of North Texas saw temperatures in the 70s to
lower 80s... the extreme western sections saw temperatures climb
above 90 degrees this afternoon. Breckenridge in Stephens County
climbed to 95 degrees. A surface low pressure system had moved to
just northeast of Graham by mid afternoon with an accompanying
trough extending southwest to just east of Eastland. Behind this
low and trough... winds were westerly and the air was very dry.

Although temperatures in the 80s and higher are well above
normal... they are not unheard of. Last year... on February
25th... most of the region saw temperatures in the 80s. Dallas Fort Worth Airport /dfw/ and Breckenridge both reached 88 degrees and Waco reached 84 degrees.
Back in 1996... Waco reached their record high for the month of February with 96 degrees on both the 21st and 22nd. Also in 1996... dfw reached 95 degrees on February 21st... their second warmest February temperatures. Dfw set the record high for
February of 96 degrees back on February 25 1904.

well, there's your weather history lesson for the day :))

now-- take a look at the forcast---- it may hit 81 again today !
this is my kinda weather!
i have a room for rent -- i'll take ya fishin too. c'mn peeps!
(you don't really have to rent it-- you just have to sleep in the room with the litter-box :))

i didn't get to fish tho-- i was just entirely too busy. and it really bummed me out.
maybe next time--i'll have a do nothing day-- and do whatever i want!
like cleaning when i find my mojo. nah-- screw that--- this weather most definitely calls for fishin!!!

so anyhow-- soulkid starts home school tomorrow. along with a schedule and regimen. this sittin around doin nuthin every day for her-- is killin me!

cuz , that's just the way it is-

this is when i think she and i --- should watch more tv together-- or go to the movies--- just anything. change. it really can be be healing.

i really am doin the best i can right now---
i just--as usual--don't think it's good enough.

but hey--
ya can't blame me for tryin.

or- can you?

chow peoples