Monday, January 28, 2008

still monday

it was a cold and yukky day

they said it would be sixty--
they LIED!

the sun didn't shine at all today-
so i cleaned,
and i took a nap-
and just a little of this
and a little of that

and not much else to do now-
except get the hell out of this room
with x-box live blastin my ears off
with "call of duty 4 LIVE---
if you haven't seen or heard someone play this--
be very grateful---
and NEVER allow your husband to purchase one.

i threatened to shoot soulmans today-
but when he said he would sell it--
i of course felt guilty--
seein as i bought it for him for his birthday.

maybe i will just shoot it someday,
and i will say
hmmm.. wonder how that happened.

anyhow-- i gotta get away from this crap-

monday-- again--- hoo ra

some of you already know-- most anyhow-- some don't.. so i will tell you--

y'all do know that i have had had a rather crappy-- ok, call it what it is .. i had a sad week. just sad.
i put my dog to sleep. she was my best friend, i had her almost 12 years. we knew each other better than anyone else knew either of us.. best dog ever. the best. just the best. but i know dogs don't last forever. nothing lasts forever. right. still didn't make it easier. and this was expected for a couple years. didn't make it easy. i thought for some messed up reason, i thought knowing, just might make it easy. (er). nope.

then on like wednesday-or thursday.. hell i'm not even sure now. whatever day-- it was too soon for me. i got a phone call. i wasn't expecting it.. not for several more days. i knew it was coming, but really-- i didn't think i would hear it til next week.. like today or tomorrow. so i get this call from the animal hospital--she nonchalantly-- but not without care in her voice-- tells me that midnights' ashes are back and ready to be picked up. i just wasn't ready. i thought for a long time after the call that i could get them..but later texted hubby at work, and he volunteered to get her after work. which really made it easier-- but was still hard. the black velvet bag had "until we meet again on the rainbow bridge" embroidered on it.
the poem.. i had never heard that until oldy posted it here after midnight had to "go". now i see it everywhere, it seems.
wow. just odd how that seems to happen.

so anyhow..
on to better things/// sorryyah (an my child says)

seems that jamie (simonsays) and i have been doing a lot of soul searching lately (and i don't mean me) ... and it hasn't been an easy past week or so for either of us.. for various reasons.

the sad part-- which is maybe the part that brings us closer, is the worst of our worst probs.. we do have a bit in common.. so the tears we shed for each other are more than sincere, and we know that. we know it's not a glossed over pity tear or two-- it's i've been there-- or i am there, and i do understand. and it helps. it is unfortunate, that we share these things on such a level. but in a way.. it does show us, that it is possible to live through it. and come out the other side.

we had been talking of meeting up again ever since our first meeting in october, here. but getting together has been so difficult. her health issues, surgery, job, daughter, etc etc... and believe it or not--- i do kinda have a life and family--and a few problems to deal with here too-- doesn't sound like it much-- but i do have a life.

so anyhow-- scheduling has been a problem. we did meet in iowa for just a meal once in november. i tend to take things to the extreme at times... and this meeting was very soon before her surgery-- she really shouldn't have been was near impossible for her..and was impossible without her H helping. it broke my heart to see her that way.; and i knew so little about the surgery-- i had also thought that she may not even live through it. that was a really hard visit. but i was so happy that it was possible. and we even managed to have a good time at that one. we were both i think at the end of our ropes at the time-- yet still finding things to laugh at--
oh like the waitress, she helped a lot on that trip. "want a plate with that pie sir?" "no, just bring it in your hand, i'll eat it off the table"... I prolly screwed that one up-- but it was close.. but she did shit like that often.. need a glass for that ice? hmmm. nah, just throw it , i'll catch it in my teeth!
she was a real winner. but hey-- ya gotta laugh at somethin right?

so yep-- yesterday... it was fun. for the most part it really was. we can't help but to laugh when we get together. we can laugh at anything. our waiter-- "promised to take good care of us"
so.. everytime we felt he wasn't, we mocked him.. and when we felt he did-- we let him know. and that was fun. he was a young guy-- maybe new-- and really trying to do a good job.
we're easy to please.

jamies H is a quiet guy-- but somethin tells me.. he just might like us a little bit. he's a good guy, and he is good to jamie too. they look like high school kids together. really. they just do. very cute . she;ll get embarrassed by that--but oh well.. :)P

we only had a couple hours for lunch again.. but talked of a next time-- again---with more time.. as we usually do.... one of these days... things will smooth out in our worlds and it will happen.

she looked soooo good. y'all just wouldn't believe it. she trucks along faster than me now! her smile is a lot more real than the last time i saw her.. it's back in her eyes again..sometimes.
she really looks like a little girl when she smiles. she talks about how old she feels..and i do understand that-- but she looks really good, and has a sparkle of life back in her eye-- i imagine coming from a wheelchair to riding 6 hours in a car, and still not limping a bit , would surely be something to put a spring in your step about!!!
God does answer prayer... he let her have her legs back. it's a miracle-- and it was wonderful to see.
and more wonderful to see her. she is a really special lady-- and the best friend anybody could even mold out of clay for their self. one of a kind.

ps--- we forgot to take a picture!!!!!

don't forget to save some prayers for her and her family at night... just that whatever their needs are--- what's best for them.. and what's to come.. that it's best for all concerned. God knows what that means.

i hope y'all have great and happy days today--- i will.. if i can fish.... not sure of the weather report yet-- but i will get back to you on that