nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
guess I'll go eat worms
big ones little ones, ushy gooshy smooshy ones
worms that like to squirm.
yep, another stupid song stuck in my head...AND my dumbass dog yapping constantly in the back yard. someday someone is gonna call the police or animal control on me because of her. she is so stupid. a few days ago..i don't know why i always say a few days ago...or the other day...it could be three months ago and i'll say the other day...this time it was probably last week...but anyways... i went out to call my dogs in...which i really need to do right now before i have a stroke due to the constant head reeling yapping of that little stupid dog!
PHEW... ok, ... anyways... where was i..ok... last week sometime..i went to call them inside, and they didn't come....i called several times, and usually , at least one of them will come if the other is preoccupied...or doing something wrong. so when neither one came after i called them three or four times, i got worried, and went over to the side of the house where i couldn't see, and i found them BOTH...chewing on a freshly killed bird !!!!! my guess is that the min pin did it...because my lab , not only is she just too slow and old... she has lost most of her teeth too... the min pin is very fast and wild and can jump probably four feet or higher if she wants to. but it was pretty gross...and sad too...for the bird i mean. so i..ya, me...had to pick up this dead bloody bird...by his foot..ICK..and toss him over the fence...where my husband was...cuz he went to the front yard to see if the dogs got out over there...so anyhow he tossed the bird in the trash over there. and i put the dumb dogs in the house.
blech. what if they get bird flu. ewwwwe.
ok, anyhow. what the hell am i babbling about. i don't even know. i feel like utter hell. i have for like a week. not just cuz i smoked. i just feel BAD. i'm having anxiety attacks, headaches, i'm tired, just icky feelin. i think i need to sleep for like twelve hours, but i can't even take a decent nap. i think i took a nap a couple times this past week,or so, but neither was longer than maybe 45 minutes. what happened to my three hour naps i was beating myself up over??? i sure could use one now.
i could also use some sort of pain killer. i have nothing stronger than tylenol, and i do believe that i am truly immune to it. it does nothing at all for me. it doesn't matter if i take two, or three, or four. it won't even touch a minor headache, not to mention back pain, or the pain i'm having now. i hurt EVERYWHERE. mainly my head...i have a migraine.. i will be taking an imitrex shot for that soon tho, soo that will be ok shortly. but man i tell ya, my back, legs, and arms...even my butt cheeks... don't ask me how my butt is sore... but i did some MAJOR scrubbing of toilets, floors, tubs etc yesterday, and boy am i paying for it today. i told ya i wasn't the best housekeeper... well, i'll tell ya... and i'm embarrassed to admit, but my bathrooms were very SCRUB WORTHY. that's the best word i can come up with. it took me literally two to three hours to clean two small bathrooms ! HORRIBLE. not just the condition of them... but me allowing them to get that way. i am deeply ashamed of myself !!!! but... now i am also proud of myself. i have a fresh start there. right. we always have a chance to start anew right?
i also did a lot of work the day before in my living room/ dining room, and kitchen.
it's really starting to look good. i really need to do some decorating in this house. i haven't done much with the place at all. it's a rental, but we've lived here for like five months-ish. i just have this fear of moving again. it is horrible on me physically AND mentally to move. the packing, lifting, etc. i just honestly don't think i have it in me to do it again. so i have this very real fear of unpacking everything, and getting all "set up" etc... just to un-do and pack and move it all.. again. it could "literally" kill me. i don't even want to think about it. and i CAN"T even think about paying someone 2 or 3 thousand dollars to do it for me. so.... i just can't get motivated to do anything. can you say AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH?
well, speaking of motivation... i think i shall go pretend i have some. riiiiiight. maybe not. at least i made a list. perhaps i'll get to that tomorrow. today i think i'm gonna lounge around and do nothing... errrr ugh... i mean rest my sore muscles. ya that's it. well, at least until i pick my girl up , and take her to a dr. appointment.