Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The Sleep Gods visited me last night

hi folks!
guess what time i woke up? just guess....this is the latest i have slept in literally MONTHS ! i'd prolly still be asleep, but you know the drill...hubby gets scolded and accused of hating me if he doesn't kiss me goodbye..and that always wakes me up...but he left late today...and as a result... i slept IN til 7:20 !!!! it was a pure miracle...and a very much needed one. i have been sooo exhausted thiese passed few days...and that dang migraine didn't go away until...i woke up today! nd it's still trying to hang on. man i hate it when that happens. how can a headache last for two or three days?.a migraine! it's horrible. it would ease up, and come back..linger , come back. ugh. i should be used to it by now after all these years, but i just can't like it! my dinner last night consisted of three tylenol, three xanax, and a cup of coffee. yum. that cannot be good for a person. but you know docs...they tell me don't take asperin, don't take NAISD's...but then they refuse to give me anything stronger/narcotic, or easier on my stomache which i would take less of. so in the meantime...i OD on asperine etc... and get bleeding ulcers, reflux, and stomach pain. i hate doctors. hate them! they only care about themselves...they act like they care about the patient, but all their "advice" only documented to cover their own ass. UGH.

ok... mooovin on. my agenda for today shall be.... to clean my pig sty and catch up on the laundry..all was neglected as i recovered from sleep deprivation and a never ending headache. now this entire place is a shambles.
i also need to go get cigs, gas, and check my PO box. aaaand of course get some groceries...but i aint doing any big shopping today...just milk and ez stuff. the big shopping can wait til the weekend...and i HOPE hubby goes. it makes SUCH a difference when he is there to help with the cart and the loading unloading etc. it really helps with not just the physical part , but i don't seem to get so anxious, angry or of course sore. sooo we shall see.

ok. that's about it for now.
latah peeps
have a good day everybody.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

aaaarrrrghhhh what a night

well hello, peoples. wussup? here? it's 2 in the morning, and here i sit...drinking coffee, writing on my blog. what kinda crap is that!
i had a helluva day yesterday. i was so worn out. been doing too much for my feeble body and mind lately to keep up , i think. plus, night before last, i was up, til God knows when, trying to make the fishin video. i woke up at like 4 somethin a.m. and my laptop was on my lap...headphones wrapped around my neck... i coulda died!..well probably not really. but i woke up, like that, and i was soooo tired. i attempted to save my video in progress, and shut the cpu down----but i fell back to sleep in the midst of my failed attempt! so, there i am, all tangled up with my laptop about to fall off the bed...the cpu...not me. :)) when i woke up suddenly to see hubby there trying to rescue me! it sort of startled me for a sec, til i realized what was going on, who he was, etc. he finally got me all situated, and i fell back to sleep....but thanks to me, he ended up having to sit up for a while. oops.
so anyhow, we were both soooo tired yesterday. we couldn't stand ourselves...and at times, each other, i think.
but i managed to finish my very depressing video...which i didn't even post on here...too sad. i did email it to a few people though. and it is on my vimeo page. but memorial day, sometimes does weird things to me. so ya, anyhow. after i finished the morning....and got it posted etc. hubby watched it andi think the red light went off for him. so he took me the pond. both of us got skunked! neither of us caught one fish...oh wait, he did get one...a perch. big whoop. other than that, the bass just weren't active at all. there was another couple on the other end, catfishing...they were slayin em too. they caught maybe 20 by the time we left. they threw them back....but they were catchin them one after the other. so anyhow, we got worn down real quick. we stayed about an hour and a half, and left.
then we came home and ate, and did some cpu stuff. i had already done laundry, and some dishes before we left.... but was too tired to finish anything at that point. so we just killed a little time, then had to go get daughter from a friends house. like an hour away. ugh. i did not want to all. but i went with huby anyhow. i woulda got lost going by myself...and i didn't want to ask him to go alone...i had already backed out of the trip to the mall the night before. so i didn't wanna do that again to him. maaaan we were tired, and i was glad he drove. i may have fallen asleep! but we got her, and she was a tired little grouch! so anyhow, we got home, and i re-heated her some chicken, and i went to bed. i had a bad headache, and just "plum-give-out! i didn't really plan on a nap...but i ended up falling asleep...after 3 tylenol and a xanax... hoping to rid myself of the headache. well... it was maybe 7 p.m. IF that. i didn;t wake up again til like 1030, when hubby came to bed. and that was just for a second, and i fell asleep again. so about midnight...i woke up head was SPLITTING. my God, it hurt. i had to get up and take a imitrex shot. whoever came up with that shit is a genius!!!! i have some lingering pain, but it's tolerable now. but here i am...drinking coffee, and 222...wierd number.... because caffiene helps sometimes with the headaches. but i'm thinkin, my day is ruined. i took another xanax, hoping i would be able to get more sleep...but i don't see that happening anytime soon. soooo... my prediction.... hubby will be up in like 2 or 3 hours to get ready for work...i'll sit with him for a my errands etc....and go back to bed this afternoon....and the final result? tonights sleep will be all screwed up too. crap!
but anyways. that's what's goin on right now. i'm sure i'll have more to say later on.
so, for now... ore`vois (someone tell me how to spell that shit)

Saturday, May 26, 2007

fishin in the rain

well... we did end up going fishing today... regardless of the boat motor problems... and the rain. we went anyhow. we used the trolling motor for a few hours, then we tied our boat off, and got onto hubbys' friends' boat, and motored out with him a little, and fished with him for a few more hours. it was soooo exhausting....but oh soooo fun! i hadn't been fishing on a boat in like two years. ours sat parked in new mexico the whole time we were out there.... in the sun, and the rain...with goats...yes... GOATS...climbing all in, and on it. the thing is a mess...but it was a blast. and i caught fish ! look! there's one now!

hubby caught fish too...but every time he got one it was raining. in fact, it was probably raining every time anybody got any more fish, cuz this was the only pic that got taken out there today. it rained off and on all day. which sucked. we were putting our rain gear on and off every half hour. it was pretty lame. but we were glad to have it. the bad part of that was, when our storage bin got robbed a couple years gortex (100 plus dollar rain /wind gear) got stolen...along with the pants to the jacket i have now... so hubby let me wear HIS rain pants today...he only had his jacket. nice guy eh? but i looked like a big clown wearing HIS pants out there. i almost fell overboard once, then i rolled the pants up about four cuffs, so i wouldn't trip on my pant legs and drown!

so anyhow...yep. we all got fish. but i didn't get a lot. i thought i boated two...hubby says it was three or four. i can agree with three, but not four. i may have got three...heck i literally blacked out the first two hours of the day!! before leaving the house, and part of the way out there...totally do not remember stopping for gas in the truck. not a flash of it! ugh. i'm losing my mind. but anyhow. i got at least two bass that i remember...and have a pic to prove one of em. LOL. i lost two. one was a nice one too. he was almost at the boat, then he was gone. the next one hit right at the boat, and shook it out right there. i didn't even have a chance to set the hook really. then i lost another one soon as the bait hit the water he hit it.... i set the hook sooo hard....the entire line...bait, hook, and all ...came flying all the way over the boat!!! i was so lucky it didn't hit one of us. three people..and no one got hit. phew. then i just missed a couple more.
as for hubby.... i'm not even sure how many he got. at least four , five, maybe six in the boat... not sure how many he missed or lost. but he did catch several. and his friend got a bunch more than either of us...when he came to get us to go fish on his boat, e said he was getting a fish on every cast....and he may have been...cuz when we got over there, i got one on my first cast. but not another one for a hey, maybe i did get four in the boat.
anyhow, ya, he caught a bunch. we probably saw him catch maybe 8 or ten. i don't know, i was too busy trying to get my own fish!
so, anyways. we finally left. it was like 1 or two when we left...i don't know when we got home, but it's a loooong way out there. and it rained like hell on the ride back. baaad. we could hardly see right in front of us. and guess what happened? shit like this only happens to ME!
i mean like the chain of events in a short period of time...not just the...yes the ...we ran out of gas part! yep on our way home, in a torenchal downpour. after pouring hundreds of dollars into our boat, only to realize that the engine is down, and will cost another bunch of money to fix (maybe) we decide ok, we';; fish anyhow...and we get rained on all day...THEN run out of gas too!!! hmmmmmm. BUT..... the good in all of it? welll, as for the engine in the boat... jim...hubbys friend...said it may just be a cheap little part that is clogged...if thats true...we're lucky! and it could be...cuz the boat sat for so long. also... the rain...big whoop...we all caught fish. the running out of gas..... gues what? after the truck died and we got on the side of the road...after a few started....and less than a mile down the road was a gas station!!! so we filled that sucker up and drove on home. now i'm all bathed, and exhausted. if only someone would bring me something to eat and give me a back massage, i would be set!!! but, instead... i'll just call it a good day...and i think it's lights out for me...and fend for yourselves for the rest of the clan.

how bout y'all. whadya do?

Friday, May 25, 2007

not a lot to say right now

well, it's friday. the first friday of "summer". (no least not until june 4th).
so what is on my agenda for the day? hmmm... we WERE going to go fishing...on our boat. the boat that we just put several hundred dollars into! BUT.... wouldn't ya know it... something is wrong with it. the engine is spittin fuel. well, we can't run it like that. we've already been on a boat that caught fire once...and trust me...ONCE is PLENTY enough for a life time for anybody! that was pretty scary...we had to bail out and swim to shore. my daughter was only five years old at the time...and ya know, now that i think about it...i do believe THAT is when she decided she didn't like to fish anymore! (why didn't i realize THAT sooner? she probably has PTSD! i hope not.
but, ya, anyhow. now we have to get that fixed before we can take it on the water. we are soooooo bummmed. but pretty sure that it has something to do with the boat sitting, unstarted, for almost two years. ya think? grrrrr.
sooooo...besides that, it's raining. so not only can we not go fishing...on or off the boat...i can't even go yardsaling. and it's been a long time since i even really felt like doing that. but today i would...but noooooo.

soooooo.... i did promise my kid i would take her to Target to get a CD that she's been wanting. so i suppose i will be going there today. but there is nothing that i want for myself there. except maybe a few easy to eat junk. everyone is already nagging...including me this time...that there is nothing to eat. well...there's actually lots to eat .. it just ALL needs to be cooked. and who the hell wants to do THAT? not any of us. LOL

other than that? laundry. of course. where does all of it come from? it's never-ending!
also...i gotta clean my sty..i mean house.
just misc inside crap i guess. i wish i could find our drill...i just might hang stuff on the walls ... FINALLY ... if i knew where that was.

oh...but yesterday, we did clean up the garage...not all the way, but we got TONS of crap sorted and put up in the attic. i also pinched a nerve in my neck the day that crap didn't help any. i should go to the dr. but i'm too cheap. i'd rather go out to eat, or buy some other worthless item with that money! ugh. i AM my mothers' daughter.

ok... more later maybe.
for now...i'm gone

Thursday, May 24, 2007

it's still thursday

what a passed few days this has been. i am plum give out ! (my aunt says that, and i love it. there's no better way to express that.. plum give out... feeling!)

anyhow, yep... i'm just exhausted. run ragged, and ready for a nap. i'm about to try, but everyone is home, so i don't know if it'll work or not. but i just wanted to pop in and say hi.
today is the last day of school. the kid has been home since 10:30 and is already bored. what the hell am i gonna do for three months to keep her "entertained"?
well actually...there will be something to keep her busy, that is now on schedule. summer school. it was confirmed yesterday. and wouldn't ya know it...the only time in my life i've ever heard of this before... we had to pay 200.00 for it!!!!! who pays for summer school???? isn't public school.. TAX dollars at work???? after we spent all that money on cars, licenses, trucks, boats, batteries, the kid clothes and shoes.....etc etc.... then it's oh, by the way mr, mrs. soulmange.....haha....i almost put my last name there. LoL... anyhow... hey guess what, not only is your kid going to summer school....but surprise...we need two hundred dollars TODAY for it. *GASP*
oh well. it's all good. i guess. she learned her lesson. we are all just glad she doesn't have to repeat the seventh grade. that was a possibility too. so i'll...well, we'll, take summer school for three weeks any day, over that!
besides... she was "commended" on her her english/reading etc portion of the TAKS test. now that's pretty cool. i told ya she could write. and read etc etc etc.
so, that , and many discussions over the past few weeks...sort of overrides the summer school thing. the money part...still not real happy about that. but as for her, as a little person. (she'll kill me if she sees i just called her that!) sorry, "a young lady" ???? she really does make me proud. she's hit a few stumbling blocks this past year or two.... but she's on her feet now, and ready to do what she knows she needs to do to stay that way. she's a good kid. i've seen a lot worse than this happen to several of her friends this last year.... she made some really good decisions.
ok...i'll shut up. i'm goin to sleep for a while.

oh...i almost forgot....

"E", at Life unscripted..(linked over there to the right...
she tagged all her readers to do this meme the other day. well, i finally did it.
here it YOU have to do it too!
(ya google "your first name likes to" and write ten that come up.
here's mine:

Brenda likes to share the fruits of her garden with her neighbors (take that one how ya want to…but I’ll tell ya… I have no garden…and there aint NO fruit in it either)

Brenda likes to tempt the listening pleasure of the visitors to her site with some samples of her sweet, sweet music. (ummm, sure, ok)

Brenda likes to shock people (oh now there ya go!)

Brenda likes to dance but doesn't like to run

Brenda likes to sit and focus on being read to from fairly. complex chapter books (they got the sit part right)

Brenda likes to casually float around the park

Brenda likes to drive fast

Brenda likes to push all the buttons and switches:)

Brenda likes to know what is going on and who is up to what

Brenda likes to weave odd short stories. (last time I checked, this Brenda didn’t weave a thing)

Brenda likes to put her creative energy into her home (sure; maybe if I had any creativity OR energy!)

ran out of time yesterday

i got too busy yesterday to post again... busy now too... but here is the poem i mentioned...written by moi ... for hubby. (June-2003)

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

busy bisy bizzy

ok, here's todays update. i actually accomplished stuff today ! i know, i am as amazed as you are.

anyhow... i did manage to get my texas drivers license this morning ... without getting angry, or arguing with anybody this time. i even ended up at the same office i had all the problems at yesteray! only because i didn't know how to get to the other one. but anyhow... wanna hear the two things that were a bit bothersome... but i handled well? actually there were three things.

1. had to deal with the same spanish lady i had yesterday. and she tried to be all nit picky with me, and said "i remember you". not sure "how" she meant that. BUT...

2.... after i did what i had to with her.... i stepped over to the other side of the place to the next line... and i got on my cell phone to call hubby real quick about something....well...this same woman shouts across the room... NO CELL PHONES!!!! well excuuuse me! so i had to lose my place in line and go ooutside to finish my call. (it was ok...there were signs i just didn't notice them til after i came back in...and i only got bumped back by two people) was just that she coulda done that in a less embarrassing manner... ya know? but that's ok. i expected worse actually on the drive over there.

ok... 3rd.... i found out... after everything i went through yesterday...and after all the time i wasted doing it, all the stress and aggrivation...that lasted until i finally got my license wasn't then did i finally chill out. but anways...the lady i was doing the rest of the info stuff with..she was pretty nice...anyhow...i've by now, driven out there twice, and back once...gonna do that again..filled out all kinds of papers...dug out my birth cirtificate...almost threw down with a lady over something pretty stupid...both of us at least 40 years old (i'm 41)... so anyhow... the lady i was then talking to... finally says... have you ever had a texas drivers license before? well duh.. i say yes... she puts me in the computer.. and whammo....there i am!....
do you know what that means??? it means that if i would have thought to say... or better yet... if the woman at the counter that i had all the problems with would have ASKED ME THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE...... i would have had my license with ease YESTERDAY !!!!! BUT NOOOO.. she was tooo busy talking to her spanish friends to think to ask me that so very simple question. and by then i was too upset to think to tell her. so when i told the lady today, and she had all my info in the computer...know what she did? she immediately...SHREDDED the copies of my damned birth cirtificate, NM drivers license, and SS card!!! (she of course kept the original NM DL.) but i was like "you gotta be kiddin me????" you oughtta tell her to ask people THAT. she looked over at her...and said with a smirk... it wouldn't do any good. i laughed out loud, and said, ya know, you're probably right!
anyhow...that was pretty funny... she is apparently just not a favorite with a few other wasn't just me. so that made me feel a bit better

alright...the fourth thing...
4. i almost failed my vision test!!! i told y'all i was goin blind! AND stupid to boot! i put my head up against the eye thing...and AGAIN.. i meant to THINK...but i SPOKE! i said... crap, i can't see it . she says "UH OH." i say... "no wait".... and i close my left eye... and i could see better...still blurry, but i read it off, and apparently got it...but i did not tell her i closed an eye!!! she said you had me worried for a minute... i said ME TOO.
so anyhow... ya that was the first part of the day. well the second part... i mentioned the morning in my first post earlier today.
so anyhow...yep...i FINALLY got my license... I'm legal. almost. now i just gotta inspect and register my car... another time.

BUT.... i also.... finally made it to the grocery store !!!! we have food, and other neccessities now. what a load off. and i was pretty happy at the register. once again, we were down to very little, and hubby went with me to help...we expected to spend 200.00..,and it looked like that much...i couldn't even push the cart.... but it was less than 140.00 !!! can you say thrilled? woo hoo.

AND... guess what else? you have to sing this part.... like a little kid trying to tease another kid k?
I got my fi-sh-in li-cense !!!!! fresh and salt water...good for a whole twelve months !!! i am legal now. yes. i have been bad. i have fished a few times without a license. only 3 or 4 , but it takes a lot of the fun out of it lemmee tell ya. cuz one time i got a ticket for that. it wasn't my fault tho. i honestly did not know my license had expired. but that was like maybe seven years ago, and the ticket cost over 100.00. so i was really worried doing it here lately. it was only a few times. but i just don't like that feeling of doing something wrong or feeling like i'm gonna get in trouble. so yep. i'm glad i finally got my license. now i'll probably be fishin all the time!

OH...and i did something else too... even after all that runnin around etc... i even managed to cook dinner!

oh ya... and hubby, accomplished stuff too.... yesterday, he worked on is truck...then went and got it inspected.....(i insured it friday)....then today he went and got it registered...

then he got the 3 batteries for the boat today too!
do y'all lknow what that means? lemmee tell ya what it means.... it means... we will be on our THIS weekend!!!

what a day. an expensive day at that. but a lot got done, that has been put off and put off for waaaay too long.

oh ya.. i almost forgot..... we were on our way to wal mart- aka.. wally hell... to grocery shop... and we almost got in a wreck. woulda too, if hubby didn't see the other car comin at us. we were yackin, i was driving.....and smoking.... i tell ya... me and multi-tasking, don't get along too well anymore....all the sudden hubby throws his hands up, and is all whoa, whoa, whoa..... (but sorta calmly...not shouty or panicky)....thank GOD.... so i didn't panick... so i look over and saw a car comin through a stop sign...i mean mere feet from us...some dumbass talkin on the phone!!!
so i hit the skids...she hit the tires were smokin....her tires were smokin...luckily both cars came to a stop before that awful sound of crunching metal and shattering glass...because i know that somebody would have been hurt in that one.
anyhow.... it was nice out today, and we had our windows down, so after both cars sat still for a few seconds, my husband flipped the other driver the bird, politely spit out the B-word, and we drove off with the smell of burnt rubber filling the car, and our noses.
i didn't drive for the rest of the evening! and maybe i won't drive tomorrow either.
i was soooo glad he saw that car...because i didn't, and it surely would have been a bad situation.
ok...that was my day...our day...
how was y'alls?

I am a bit perturbed today..well it's residual

ok... first... i will say... i am not prejudiced. not in the sense of the word. i mean i don't judge , or hate people due to their skin color, ethnicity etc. (unless a certain person, of a different race...and i will even include my own...if someone gives me reson to fear, or judge them, or be angry with them...i will be.)
ok... here's what i'm gettin at.

i went to get my texas drivers license ...finally. i mean, heck...i've only been back in texas since august! ugh. well, you all know how i procrastinate!
well anyhow. i had to go like twenty miles to the DL office. why they don't have one closer... i have no idea. so i drive out there... one of the "things " is, you have to have your car insured and registered in texas... before you get a license. well.... i haven't done that either...yet. (waiting for my NM tags to expire next month).. car IS insured here..just not registered ...or inspected...but hubbys is. so i took his car title/insurance cards etc, in with me..and my NM drivers license, and my SS card. i thought that would be good enough. well..;.. it wasn't.
because of the fact that even though I AM on the insurance, but the car isn't in my name, they wouldn't accept it.... SO they wanted a THIRD form of ID. she gives me this form with a list of "acceptable" forms of proper identification. of course, a birth cirtificate...that i home/20 miles away!... a marriage license ... 20 miles away!.... so i keep going down the list... i get to military ID card. well, i have a disabled veterans medical ID i take that up there...not good enough! WHAT????? it is a government ID card... PLUS i am a damn disabled VET. nope. ... ok i keep goin down the list... i get to military documents... well of course i have my discharge home...20 miles away!!!!! BUT... i also had...surprise...with me... a few letters and forms with my name and adress and ss number on them FROM the DAV, and VA hospital.... guess what... NOT military documents ..... WHAAAAA??? (now... if you woulda seen and heard this lady you would realize WHY i got soooooo freakin angry...... i mean she was spanish.... and talking to people behind me in spanish WHILE I was trying to talk to her, and get my own business done!)..... now.. in ANY circumstance...when i feel that i am not being given the attention i am due...especially while doing business...i get PISSED! so.... i said...i meant to think it, but it came out of my mouth!!! OOOPS..... i said... "i bet if i was mexican you'd take it!" she only scowled at me.....i coulda been shot by anyone in the building in earshot. ugh. that was really stupid of me!
so... she tells me to go sit down, and look over the list again! i think that was a polite way of saying that if i didn't get out of her face she was gonna fly over the counter! ... which woulda been ok by me... cuz i was ready to throw down too! i was pissed.
and the whole thing got worse, as i read further down the list. know why....
because... a few more acceptable forms of ID...


i gotta say... i was angry enough to hit her. but i didn't. i may not have gotten so angry...since she was only following procedure. but it was the fact that i was just trying to get a drivers license..... and the entire timer that i was trying to get HELP... she was talking ... in spanish... to people BEHIND ME!!!!
AND..... if i was a felon....or an illegal alien... i would have had no problem!!!! but as a united states military disabled vet.... i couldn't get my drivers license !!!
oh man. you just don't know. you just can't fathom my anger.

soooooo... my agenda for today? to go get my drivers license... and bring with me... my NM drivers license, SS card, AND freakin Birth certificate!!! seein as i don't have a texas inmate card... or any border crossing card etc.

and ya wanna hear the funny part? i don't know if anyone has heard about this. prolly ppl in tx of course have. in farmers branch tx... the voters...except for the illegal aliens...from mexico...who are also allowed to register to VOTE in the US!!! (i just learned that part this morning...... but american felons, or dishonorably discharged military...cannot vote!)
anyways... farmers branch tx... just passed a law.. if that's the right term... that "illegal immigrants"...will no longer be allowed to rent an apartment in farmers branch tx.

AND guess what... I was against that! i believed
it was not fair to them. if they work and have money to pay their rent...they should not be forced into the damn street.... and i actually still feel that way. even though i am pissed about what happened yesterday.

so anyways. people are people...and i guess they're just who and how they are... i mean the lady at the DL office. as for today...i'm goin to a different office.

and for the ppl in farmers branch... those people that voted for that...are just inhumane, and selfish, and think because they have money they can choose their neighbors...but i think it will backfire...they put that law that was supposed to go into effect today...on hold for further review.
i hope the people in "office" realize what a mistake it would be....for one thing...i think it could actually cause riots or something they aren't thinking about. but also...if it doesn't pass..... i HOPE that town gets FLOODED with illegals...and runs out every one of these "holier than thou" idiots!!!!

ok... i'm done with my rant for the day.
i really gotta get some things DONE today...and i am off to a good start! i've done two loads of laundry, and still goin on that...i did my dishes...of course got the girl to school...ummmm.....well, so far i think thats it. but it's only 8:46. go me! now, i need to head to the drivers license place...just not the one i went to yesterday...this one is like ten or 15 miles in the opposite direction. UGH!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

third post for today


can you say bored? how bout lazy? what should the word of the day be today? how about... hermit? or - bored , lazy, hermit. i am a bored, lazy, procrastinating...hermit. and ya know, my mood went south pretty quickly this evening. i think it was about dinner time. i got a migraine, and had to cook, i went to blockbuster first....i have no idea why i bothered, cuz no one watched any movies. oh well. then when i got back i fixed dinner. i had planned on stir fry...but ended up with chili cheese dogs. cuz i felt like crap. and i didn't finish a dang thing i started today. i started laundry...didn't finish it though...there's a load in the washer, and one in the dryer...and about four on the floor that await me for tomorrow. there's that famous word again... "tomorrow". and here i always wonder why my daughter is so big on... i'll do it later... i'll do it tomorrow. oh God what have i created?
so, anyhow. did i go grocery shopping? nope. didn't do that either. once again, i am amazed that i am able to put meals together. well...honestly we have been going out a little too often lately. i gotta stop that shit, and get to the store!
ok, what else?
oh...hubby went fishing today.... he caught lots of fish, but his fishing partner did great as far as size goes. the scales were broken, so they don't have a positive weight on this bass...but he was a giant. i would probab;y cry if i caught a fish like that...happy tears. take a look at this fish...they guessed him at over 8lbs...and i won't question it. he looks that, if not bigger...

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

it's monday all over again

i ... well for one.. i think i hate to start a blog post with the word I. it's kinda "this is gonna be all about ME and i insist that you give a damn".
but anyhow. it isn't always like that; sometimes i have bad things to say about myself, but still seem to start with the word i. i am shit. i am not shit. i am insane. that one i think i will stick by.
soooo. anyways, my dryer is still broken, and i'll bet fifty bucks my clothes in the washer, and in the dryer are now.... trash. mildewed, stained, stinky, trash. as if i could afford something like this to happen right now. ugh. we still don't even know what is wrong with the damned dryer, but it looks like i will be making a trip to the laundrymat soon. how great. just great. back when i drank, i would get drunk waiting for my clothes at the laundrymat....but....well, i don't drink anymore. sucked the fun right out of laundry day ! besides that... it hurts my back to carry laundry through the house....much to car, car to machines, machine to dryer, dryer to table, table back to car, car into house, house to whoever it belongs to. it's just crap i say. i feel the pain already/ and i dread it. that's why my clothes ruined. if i didn't fear the pain...or the laundrymat...i woulda just gone and dried the clothes and all would be fine...except the dryer, and the dirty clothes piling up. but at least i wouldn't be in the bind of replacing stuff. ugh. see what i mean? i can whine all day if ya let me.

want me to tell ya how damn hungry i am??? pretty damn hungry. i have 8 dollars in my purse...i have about forty in the bank...and nothing coming in til friday. i'm afraid to spend a dime. on anything. it's pretty rare that we get this broke. just happens sometimes i reckon. but, it's not that we don't have food...we just don't have any snack stuff i can just go grab...and what do you think i chose to take out for dinner? a freakin pork roast that's gonna take an hour and a half to cook! so in the meantime, i'm gettin a headache, and i feel a bitch attack coming fact i just took some asperin, but as for the bitch attack...i need to eat something. but what??? arghhhhhh.

oh and know what else? all that shit i just wrote....none of it is what i was even gonna write when i started. in fact, i don't know if i can even remember what i was gonna write, but that wasn't it. hold on, lemmee light a cig, and see if i can regain my train of thought.....

well, that didn't help at all. well, at least not with the memory thing. i have no idea what i had planned on saying at first.

so...i guess i will, just pick something. the bank !!! speaking of memory...or lack thereof... today, i'm out running errands, and such, and i have a bank that i rarely use anymore....two with my husband, one with my daughter. so i went to the bank to close one of the two accounts. the one that no money goes in or out of. the joint acct we still have a direct deposit and a couple direct bills out of. so anyhow.... there i am, at "the bank" to close this account. i sign in, i wait..not very long thank goodness, then i sit at this guys desk, and say i need to close one of my accounts, i give him my drivers licence and my cards for both order to close one, and transfer the measly six..yes SIX dollars into the other account. well....he looks at the cards and says these are wells fargo cards..... i immediately realize...shit...i'm NOT at wells fargo! i'm at another bank we have accounts we opened when we moved back here from new mexico...which is why we no longer use the other account. so i'm like...."oh man, this isn't wells fargo"... he, do you have an account here? i say yes, that's why i came here i guess, i'm just used to coming here. ugh. how embarassed was i? pretty damn embarassed! so, i , with my eggplant colored face, gathered all my cards...and scurried out of there...and went to wells freakin close my account. good LORD.

this just has not been a good week for me. not at all. i mean it hasn't totally sucked. i did a few things, like went fishing a couple times...i caught a fish too...but it was a catfish...didn't bother to keep it. we stayed at a hotel and went out for a really delicious steak dinner on saturday...the hotel was some thing hubby won months ago. and the dinner we put on his work credit card...just to make sure the card worked ya know. :)) and a couple other fleeting good things. but for the most's been crap.

perhaps this being the first mothers day without my mom has a part to play??? mothers day was never real significant between her and i anyhow....but i seemed always to feel guilty for not sending a card...or was motivated by guilt in order to send a card. and this was the first year i didn't have to deal with either scenario. maybe i felt guilty for being the way i was. maybe i felt bad for her being the way she was. maybe i didn't feel anything at all. except guilt. (i mean about her...hubby and daughter were great).

but anyhow. yep. i don't know what to do with myself . just lots goin on in my feeble mind lately. too many thoughts, and nowhere to store or release them. maybe. who knows. who even really cares.

well, i guess i'll go get dinner in the oven and see what i can scavenge up to snack on. i just might have to go buy a smoothie, or an iced mocha, or some chips. just somethin.

Monday, May 14, 2007

it's a monday

yep...still alive here. just been a little busy to post. well, that's not totally true. i have been a little busy. but i have also been in my muck too. i wanted to post, just didn't. i could have if i wanted to whine or complain. but i didn't want to do that. still don't really. but i have people asking about the i thought i'd at least try and answer that question.
i am not positive about the type of snake it was. but i did a little research today. and what i did find out that "there are only four types of poisonous snakes in the united states". well who knew?
i sure didn't. i treat them all as poisonous, just to be safe. but they said that the four types that are venomous are... copperheads, rattlesnakes..duh, cottonmouths, and the WTH i just drew a blank ! coral. ya, that's it. ok. that's the four types. the water moccosin is also poisonous but in the same catagory as a cottonmouth and there are differnt types of rattlesnakes etc.
so.... i kept searching, and the closest i came to what seemed to look in size and color...which is found in texas... is called a "texas rat snake" non poisonous. but i wasn't taking any chances. that damn thing was at least five feet long! soooo....he's dead now. and, i'll probably kill the next one i see in the yard too. just because. i don't want them around my house. poisonous or not.
so anyhow...that's what i 'think" it was.

also.... my damn dryer broke. on mothers day. yippee. and i have wet clothes ruining. hubby thought he would fix it today...but didn't/ couldn't, whatever. don't know what to do.
i have a list of things to whine and bitch about but i won't. i just won't say anything for now.

hope y'all are good.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

check THIS out.... i told you something interesting might happen !

okay..... here i was, just piddlin around the house, not really doing anything, just picking things up here and there, etc. killing time basically. hubby was at work. well, i was expecting him soon, but anyhow... he calls.... he says...
"hey, i'm outside, and there's a huge snake out here ! two birds are attacking it ! "

so, i'm like... "uh, well, what am I supposed to do about it?... just get in here and stay away from it!"

well... it didn't take long to realize that he...nor i.. wanted the chance for the snake..of whatever type to get into the garage...which would possibly lead him into the house....or the possibility of my daughter being bitten...or either of us for that matter. i mean c'mon. a snake? i hate snakes! i do not want one in my yard, my tree, my garage, my house! my nuthin. so... i of course, grab the camera... ummmm... and the broom. LOL. i know i know, but it was all that was handy. at the time.
so anyhow, i go out there to help hubby capture, or perhaps kill this snake. i haven't seen it yet, and really don't know if he's exaggerating his size yet or not. well. he wasn't! we finally saw him.
so... like they say... a picture is worth a thousand words right? so, before the photos... i will say, that after i saw the true size of this "animal"... i thought K-BAR time ! (BTW, that is a very big and sharp knife for those of you who don't know.) so we got the k-bar... and some kind of perhaps five foot long metal pry bar thing. at one point... hubby held the snake by the neck with the pry i slashed his throat. eventually, two roofer guys showed up, (to measure the roof to fix our hail damage) the midst of our snake murder, and helped finish the job... by chopping his head off with a shovel they had in their truck.
ok...... here is ... the rest of the story...... (and here i thought nothing blog-worthy would happen today...HA
let's see who can beat this one!

Monday, May 7, 2007

ok, here i am, happy?

well, i'm not. at least not as happy as i would like to be anyways. and i really don't know why. i mean i just had a great little getaway with my family, i really enjoyed that. i got to fish, i didn't have to cook, i barely had any responsibility at all. no driving. no paying bills, no computer, or phone, no taking or picking up the kid from school, no time restraints, no nuthin. i did whatever the hell i wanted to do. the worst thing that happened was i turned 41. big deal.
after that i came home to real life. bills, school, responsibility, chores, guilt for lack of completing chores and errands, appointments, animals, ugh, the animals. i love my animals...but really. they are like having four extra kids. feeding them, cleaning up after them, putting them out at god awful hours, spending money on them left and right, worrying about them...getting lost, getting sick, dying, getting mange, peeing on the floor, scratching up the furniture, you name it. i worry about it.
i think i have come to the realization that i just don't like my life a whole lot right now. it was really nice being out in the woods in a little cabin, with just us, and very little extra new century conveniences and interferience. i think i want to just go be amish. no real world bullshit. just my family. maybe a garden...i would surely have to learn how to grow one first or else we would starve. but we can fish, and hubby can hunt. just go live off the land like little house on the prairie type stuff.
geesh. i mean i was out runnin my errands, paying bills , doin this and that this morning, and i called hubby for something, to ask about whatever...and i just broke down bawling. for nothing. i'm just fallin apart. slippin into depression again. can't pin it down. sure there's a lot goin on. but i should be able to handle it, and i'm not. what the hell??
i don't want to do anything i barely CAN do anything.
i did actually go fish in a pond today though after my mentl attack... i almost caught a bass. he got off though before i got him in. that totally sucked. but it was better than nothin at all.
well, anyhow, i am very tired, and hot, and i think i shall take a nap. i probably shouldn't cuz i prolly won't sleep tonight, whichh has been another of my problems. but i am just tired. all over tired. mind, body, everything tired.
so anyhow.
hope y'all are ok.
i'll be back around when i catch up with myself.