Friday, April 13, 2007

You Are Not Gonna Freakin Beleive THIS


well, i had just finished a little posting, and emailing, then i went for one last email check before shutting down for the night. BUT, wouldn't ya know it.... my last email check...was not good news. not at all. my final paternal aunt, and one of my two favorite, and funnest, and just plain dearest to me, has died. everybody knew it was coming: she was elderly, and quite ill, and also in a nursing home. it's just there were other circumstances.... her daughter, and her daughters' 7 year old daughter had recently been through a severely traumatic event in their lives. they both witnessed a long time family friend beat and stab to death their husband/father...then turn on them and brutally beat them both. they were lucky to have survived themselves. the man who did this was high on crack, and was brought nto their home to be helped by them temporarily. well... this man, within the passed month or two, came to the realization of what he had done to his friends, and other innocent people during a police chase, and while in jail awaiting trial... he hung himself and HE died. and now...this. she loses her mom. on freakin friday the 13th. good Lord. but. she went peacefully apparently. and that is good. she was a good lady who always wanted the best for everybody, and she was always out to make people laugh. i still remember a lot of the silly things she did that got me to laugh. the last time i saw her...she danced in high heels at my dads' pool. she was a great lady. she will be missed. but, as long as i can keep what memories i do have of her...she will keep me laughing.
and ya know... i bet she's up there crackin jokes with my dad and her sisters right now. geesh, it's a virtual family reunion in Heaven! ha.

awwww...hubby just brought me some hot constant comment tea.. to soothe my soul (mange)... he's a sweatheart.

another heapin helpin of friday the 13th !

ya know what? i'm not a supersticeous person. see, i can't even spell it ! but anyways, i gotta admit, this is one F'D up unlucky day. i have never ... ever... ever.... feared, worried about.... or had, as lousy, or perhaps as memorable, a Friday the 13th ... in my near 41 years of this quite unlucky life ! you see, not only did i experience the earlier issues of the day... in the post below this one.... because of course blogger is backwards after all.... BUT.... would you beleive.. well, really you have no choice, because some of you surely have seen the news... we had a tornado ! yes, a tornado. in fort worth texas.. on friday the thirteenth... in the month of april ! wanna guess where i was for half an hour??? after of course.... grabbing two cats, two dogs, and my daughter, and rushing down the hall...... we spent half an hour in a very small bathroom !!!! extremely small. and... wouldn't ya know it... hubby was driving home from work ! his car is all dented up from the baseball sized hail !!! the house sounded like it was being bombed... so of course my girl and i were worried to death about him driving in that crap. the cell phones wouldn't work so i couldn't get through to find out how or where he was. it was a very long .... noisy... anxiety ridden half hour. day. life. whatever.
also, a day i am sure i won't forget any time soon.

but.... time has passed, and right now hubby is cooking dinner... obviously he is fine... little sick... and mad about his car... but it's an OLD car, and my car didn't get messed up neither did his truck or the boat. so it's all good. and of course my girl is okay. she still feels sick, but she was happy her dad got home ok. and her animals are ok. hopefully her meds will kick in soon and she will feel better.
as for me. i just wanna eat and sleep this day out of my mind. i always complain about my bad memory...well, i'll tell ya what... i sure wouldn't mind if i could forget this entire day.

Definately Friday The 13TH

man, i'll tell ya what. this is not a kind day. it is only 2 in the afternoon, and i feel once again like the Lunch Special at Hell's Cafe. I don't even know where to begin, or end with it. i will say though that only like five or ten minutes before i was supposed to leave to go get my daughter from school, to take her to the dr appointment...the dr. office called, and told me that i had to call the insurance company. i only had like 35 minutes til the appointment time, mind you. we both knew i would spend probably that much time on HOLD, but it had to be done. so, what happens? i immediately, that second, before i even hang up the phone with the dr office... i go straight into panic mode. not good. i mean like full blown anxiety attack. (not panic...not the bad/ oh i'm having a heart attack, i'm gonna die one...but the can't think, can't talk, stammering, hands shaking, fast heart beat etc kind of thing.) so anyhow i'm calling the insurance people... i get put on HOLD...of course. i expected nothing less, but it still pissed me off. i sat there for at least ten minutes before a human got on the line. it took another ten minutes to get her to ... what i thought ... to understand what i needed her to do... apparently she did nOT understand. well, she gives me "another" number to call. so... i write down this new number... just to the side of the number i had just called her at... the thing was... as i was writing...and even as i was looking at it to call it...i did not realize something... the number she gave me , was the exact same freakin number i had just called HER at !!! i didn't notice it til i was , yep... on HOLD... for another ten minutes. i got someone on the line... who was apparently stoned. or perhaps, a bit "slow"? i had to get a supervisor before i cracked up. my anxiety was at hospital admission level by this time. i had been on the phone, and now with the third person forever... simply to change primary care provider name on my daughter... is THAT so difficult? it wasn't. it literally took less than four minutes. FOUR! yet i was on the phone for nearly thirty. THIRTY. and i still had to go get my kid from school and to the dr... in like five minutes? wasn't gonna happen. so i was a wreck. a mental case. i already can't think straight enough to drive anywhere. so here i was going some place i've never been. and even with the directions.... yep you guessed it... i got lost..... TWICE! my daughter kept saying.. mom calm down!!! it's not that big a deal. etc etc. she really was trying to help. but i was going mental. mother instilled it in me to NEVER keep her waiting! and in so doing.. i have a terrible fear of being late, or keeping anyone waiting. perhaps the military fed that fear too. but anyhow.. yep it was bad. i was all shakey and frustrated, and confused. blech. well, we did get there. by the way. and being a new patient, of course.. the curse ya know... well i had to fill out a ton of papers... with shakey hands, and no concentration level, not to mention the fact that i was in a rush. what a disaster. i'm surprised they could even read that chicken scratch! soooooo. there we are. all ready. and late of course. so , we wait. and we wait. aaand... we waiiiit. aaaand waaaaait. and our 11 o'clock appt turned into a almost 12 o'clock appt. i hate to be kept waiting! LOL
so anyhow... the first five minutes was spent with the doc walking in and i look at her...and she at me...and i say dumbfoundedly... you look familiar...she do too. so we banter back and forth trying to figure out why/where/ no we finally gave up trying, due to time constraints and gave her attention to the sick child. after all, that was why we were there .
SO.... after some tests, questions, history, etc...and also..she put her on a "nebulizer" machine for a few minutes. it was determined to be bronchitis. (causing asthma like symptoms). earlier in the discussion...the word asthma...... scared the shit out of me ! i also had to discuss my first son dying from asthma..which i don't talk about much at all to anybody. so there i was, already all anxiety ridden, but somewhat calmer than on the ride there...but now... i'm thinking SHIT. i already "lost" one kid to asthma... now does THIS one have it too? can you say PANIC ?????
good LORD. so all the while she's on the nebulizer, i'm having little flashbacks of my son...and flash-forwards of my daughter...and feeling all guilty for being a smoker. and just in full swing panic attack mode. xanax time. but i had to wait. so anyhow.... like i said. after the "neb" thing, daughter could breathe doc said bronchitis was restricting her lungs etc etc/ gave her a bunch of meds, and sent us on our way. with much releif i must say. i am so glad it is not asthma! but that was all i needed to hear to get the kick in the ass i need to , if not quit smoking.. then to at least not smoke around my child. ugh. well. so far, that's about my/our day. throw in some back pain and a tooth ache (oral cyst ache actually) on top of that there panick attack..flashbacks...and sick kid... and what do you get? Friday the 13th of course.
later peeps

what could HALF a finger be good for ???

holding a giant slice of New York Pizza of course !!!!

well, if ya can't scratch an itch... or pick your nose... or dig in your ear with half a finger... then why not use it for some leverage right?

BTW... this would be number one on hubbys' wanna see my scar list... a post that i plan to put up soon.

well... daughter has a doc appointment in a little while, so i must get my stuff done before that...
mo' latah, perhaps.