Monday, January 25, 2010

holy crap i found everybody -

does the entire world live on facebook these days?
i don't mean that in a bad way, but geesh. i went over earlier today to revive my facebook account-- and i was mobbed. not that it bothered me. i love attention-- you know that. seems a couple folks thought i locked em out of my other blog and just kept goin. so this first part may be a re-run for a few of you-- skip it if ya already heard it--

that isn't the way things went. i did explain what happened somewhere in here a few posts back-- and so far i don't have a whole lot of posts on here-- so if you think ya need a little more detail you can look around for it. k?

but-- long drawn out dreary story short?

i had a mental attack. i'm still workin on it. but i'm not doin as bad as i was a few weeks ago. for those who've been around a while already know that this is just somethin that happens to me from time to time. and that as history proves-- i eventually come out of it.

example? -- if i were a brush fire? i eventually burn myself out. right?

but-- as per scientific evidence proves-- if a brush fire is not left alone-- or better yet-- 'controlled.. protected, not to spread" --- and someone feeds that fire-- or worse, throws fuel on that fire.... what happens? yes-- you guessed it. no matter how much, or how little fuel is tossed onto the fire-- it grows and it spreads.. and even the lightes of breezes, will continue to feed it.

ya see where i'm goin with this?

i hope so. cuz i'm tryin to make it simple-- and i think i'm gettin a little carried away.

so anyhow-- right now-- no one is feedin the fire-- so it is now smoldering, and will soon be burnt out. k? i'm doin what i can to burn it out.

such as the SHOT today come on in the rest of ya-- here's the


i went in and came out fairly well. walking. talking. and doin fine. when i woke up, i didn't feel any pain at all. i was thrilled. i was groggy from the sleepy medicine of course. came home and like i thought i would, i slept a lot of the day away. i woke up right about when stez was headin to school to get my spawn. (how's that for a name-- she calls her own self that one :)) -- our spawn))
anyhow-- that's when i began to worry. :((
mainly at the injection site--- it was pretty sore there. i didn't worry too much about it. didn't need meds or anything for it. i just really needed to get UP and move around some. so i did.
then about an hour later-- if that? the pain came back. not as severe. but it was there. and i got sad. i took a pill, and calmed my panic and disappointment, when i remember that it really does take days to weeks before it actually kicks in and 'works.'

so-- i reckon it's wait and see, for now. i'm gonna stay positive on this. it worked last time. i don't see why it won't work this time.

i did talk to the doc about doin a rhizotomy there too. he didn't sound to keen on that idea (for me)
i mentioned to him, that if i reacted the way i did on the last one-- that if i have the same or similar reaction on my legs-- i will be in a wheelchair... he agreed. and that ended that conversation.

i think we'll stick to shots--
y'all say your prayers will ya-- maybe i'll have good news to report in a couple days.

tomorow i will have a pic of the bubba boat for ya to see. hubby is gonna head out to pick it up on like the 6th. he's gonna take eevee of course, but he got a bit more good news the other day. he now has plans to visit two of our nephews-- my sises boys on his way. he's pretty excited about that :))

so anyhow-- more tomorrow peeps-- i didn't get around too much today in blogland-- i was a little 'drunk' -- i'll be catchin up tomorrow.

g'nite-- or maybe g'mornin.. twice :))

a pain pill ,and half a cuppa- for fuel - and it's go, go, go

howdy folks-

it's monday-- just in case ya haven't figured that out... mondays are great, aren't they? yeh, me too. i need an extra day sometimes too. but even when i have one i complain about that too. someday i'll be content. again.

i've actually been looking for solutions to my discord-- and talking them over with my hubby recently--- apparently they aren't bad ideas, and he's on my side. of course, when has he not been on my side. right?

so. yeh. i'm sittin here smokin a cig-- having had my one half cup of forbidden coffee. and a pain pill. i know-- (nothin after midnight) but i was actually told by the anesthesiologist before my last procedure-- that that is just best case scenario. and 4 hours before -- if it's black coffee and 1 pill, it shouldn't be a problem. you know i jumped on that . and i had no issues for it last time. thing is-- this time? i slept later than i planned-- which is actually good-- cuz i don't have to suffer as long waiting to go--- but there isn't the four hour gap i am supposed to have-- nope only three. i am sure it won't be a problem, but they wouln't like it. course--- who says i can't say i had coffee at 6. riiiight? yeh. that's what i thought. i can't help it if i can't live without coffee. besides, i only drank 2/3 a cup. and really - the pill - y'all know - i'm 'crippled' without it. especially the first one of the day. completely useless.

so yeh-- that's my plan for the day.

and i cannot believe there's any sanity in the fact that i actually look forward to the fact that in just a few hours i will be having a long thin needle jammed into my spine.
people fear the thought of a spinal tap---- this is far from any different than that-- except they don't take anything out-- they put stuff in. i'm a little anxious-- but not scared. i actually am looking forward to it-- cuz i know it works. at least i know it worked last time. and i walked- moved, slept, stood, sat, everything-- with almost NO pain in my legs-- or low back-- for months.

i spose the anxiety at this point only comes from the fact that maybe it won't work, and will be all for naught-- and i will ave to live with the disappointment of knowing that it 'should' have worked- because it did before. and also knowing-- that i took advantage of havin my legs back -- and didn't do things i knew i should have been doing. of course-- in those months that my legs were better-- my upper back and neck were crippling me with a pain that was near unbearable. one more notch on the 'pain scale' i woulda been crying for the last 5 or 6 months.

so. what now? wait. as usual when it comes to docs. hurry up-and wait.
put on my positive thinking hat :)) , get my ass presentable, and pray that this works.
i have a good dr. who does this. i trust him. and those two words are reserved only for him and one other of my docs. and trust me-- a wild guess? i think i have like 5 or 6 'specialists' - and really i hate every one of them, cept the two above.
so i reckon it's a plus that the guy who sticks needles in my spine is a man i can trust to at least send me out walking-- whether it be in pain, or not. he tries .

so-- on that happy note--- i must dress myself- and be on my merry way.

hope you all have happy days in your worlds today

i'll be snoozin much of mine i'm sure. they got the good stuff that kinda does that to a gal :))

when i come back to life -- i'll make my rounds and see what the rest of blogland is up to --- hope it's all good.