Saturday, November 15, 2008

just when we thought it was over--- here comes more medical crap - but wait- there's more :))

howdy folks----

i saw ya roll your eyes that time :))

i know, i'm gettin tired of it myself around here. all this medical crap. but in a way, it's actually gettin a little interesting this time. at least it's some new and changing stuff once in a while. not that that is the good part. but that we aren't---- haha "we", don't you feel special.. we're a "we" now.

anyhow-- i guess what i mean is like so many times before i would be ---stuck on one thing, with no answers.. struggling, searching, whining, etc... but now-- damn man... it's just one thing after another. it just kinda seems like i actually do get answers once in a while--- or at least i get thrown a bone now and again.

BUT -- when i do-- something else happens -- immediately after-- that requires more answers. that of course never come fast enough for me.

so i think it just feels like we go in circles. when in reality, i think we have come to the conclusion that i really am just melting. or whatever it is ya do when ya get old and the poor body just has had enough.

here's an example---
lets start with a few recent discoveries ---
such as :

my thyroid gland.
there's a picture for ya-
who knew, right?
i didn't.

there's where it is-
right there in the middle of your throat
lookin like a butterfly.. sorta.

but anyhow, the neuro secretary called friday, and apparently what showed up on my recent cat scan---- rather than any type of fracture-- or trauma-- that they were looking for-- was a enlarged thyroid -which we knew about from the first one- - AND on the 2nd that was done the other day-- he found a cyst. a cyst. WTF?
so, of course i spent half a day on Google trying to find out what that might mean. did i find out? well no. not anything that i could accept anyhow. :))
after hours of only confusing myself-- i just gave up. i don't know a damn thing about thyroids... cysts.. or anything like that.
cysts, nodules, tumors.... they all say different things-- but the one thing they all have in common? ummm... when they include pain, and "other" symptoms -- most likely they are cancer.

how nice.


what DO i know?
i know that my mother had a "thyroid scar and operation"
but i never cared enough to ask why ---or what was so wrong that she needed surgery--
never considered asking if perhaps it was cancer.

so , here's a thought---
any of you folks out there-- just so ya know-
thyroid probs do run in families--
so if a member of your family has had thyroid problems-- especially surgery--
perhaps you should ask why--
just in case YOU end up with probs--you can tell your doctor-
and they will have a direction to go in.

cuz ya know, for me, it's a little too late to ask now.

oh and something else i found out?
labs are not always correct on thyroids--
in fact--- most labs are WRONG.

mine have always showed "good"...
now look--
all this crap i blamed on addisons--
now, i find, it could be thyroid--or a combination of the two.

no wonder i'm a lazy- depressed- non motivated, mess.
just have a look at everything the thyroid AND adrenals are responsible for in the human body-
good lawd
i'm lucky to be on my feet.
not to mention -- under two hundred pounds !

so far that's where we're at with bones and CT'S, and glands, and cysts- etc

so let's move on to what else me and doctor google found shall we?
i know y'all love it when i do that, but this time it sounds, and looks very possible in my case. and not too scary either.

it's about the god awful pain i have been having.
y'all know i am in pain alot anyways-- but since (10-20-08) the embolism and hospital etc...

the new pain has just about made me not even notice my "normal" pain.
except the migraines, there's just no forgettin about those.
like the first several days-- maybe up to five days out of the hospital, the embolism pain continued to be severe,
bad enough to keep me awake , and and hubby too.
it was a writhing, crying, kill me pain.
but on top of that-- a couple days out--- i also got a new pain-
in my arm, neck, shoulder, under my ear, back of my head, part of my chest, and right behind there--in my back. a severe-- gut wrenching pain. that required , doctors, and meds, and tests, and all kindsa stuff-- as you know.
which was totally strange and unexplainable-- even by the docs--
like three doctors.

gp---medicated me for about 3 days---period.
endo-- referred me to ER-- for lower than low blood pressure--
(on this day -- actually, i was not having the mystery pain yet---
this was the day i couldn't walk. literally--- i fell down/got picked up-- like more than 20 times.
i tell ya-- falling in public aint fun-- i think people think you're drunk. or not-- cuz we both looked pretty much more on the helpless side-- than the embarrassed or drunk side.

anyhow-- this is why-and how-- hubby and i had brought the "mystery pain" to the day i was falling down so much. i wouldn't have even been trying to walk---- i would have stayed in bed--- but that day i had the GP appointment--and she sent me to the endo doc.
and obviously-- neither did a damn thing that was helpful.
while i was in freakin addison's crisis. :((
we treated me at home with gatoraide--
because even a endo specialist didn't know what to do in addisons crisis.
even tho we carried a injection --that we didn't know how to use-- in there with us.

at that time i was still in pain on my right side-- embolism pain.
the next day---
more severe pain began.. but i could walk.
we didn't know what the hell to think.
but at this point in time--as of our current time period. like in the now.
the ONLY doctor who has given a damn, or shown a bit of concern for my well being
has been my neuro doc.
he is the one who ordered every xray-- every scan-- etc.
he is the ONLY doc i have that EVER goes out of his field (if/when needed)
to explore
what may be wrong with me. ever since i've been seeing him.

(anyone in DFW area want a good neuro doc? email me for his name :))

so anyhow---
yes i know i got sidetracked. MY AREA OF EXPERTEEEESE :))
i really don't know if my brain damage is reversible...
but i will say this---
several things could be making IT worse

-fybromyalgia="brain fog"
-pulmonary embolism = lack of oxygen to brain"
-thyroid "Probs" = mental confusion.
- there's like 2 more- but i'd have to look em up, and i don't wanna :((

BUT-- to Finally get to my damn point ---
GEESH... (that is, if anyone is still reading :(P

ok-- the falling down, and gettin picked up-
remember- soulman had a broken hand,
with a hard splint-- and i was in a lot of pain-unable to walk-
leaving us quite clumsy--- in attempting to gettin me where i was goin
especially when it was up off the ground. ughh.

so-- check out this picture-- the hi-lighted area is called--


"Brachial Plexus"

yes i know-i never heard of it before either--
but--that is where the excruciating pain has been for the last--
what? - 3 weeks?
at least.
the one on the left shows how low it went better--
and the one on the right shows how high it went better.
and in the back, it shows the frontal pain, and there was pain behind there too--in the scapula - ish.
so-- this is why we think gettin picked up-- pulled on, stretchin my arm up over my head and in weird ways
maybe it just got "ripped" somewhere /somehow.
what i read said this can hurt for weeks to months-
also it is usually a sports injury. hmmm.
but -- it really sounds the most plausible of anything on how and where this could have come on the way it did.

so i will be bringin it up to my next doc i see.
that would be my endo doc.
when i see her for the "thyroid cyst"
i feel like i'm taking a damn transmission to cake baker when i go see her!
basically i end with the same results too.
just not as sweet :))

that is my medical rant-- and update of sorts.
now let's see
what else i can bitch about--

a lot, i'm sure-- but i won't.
this entire blog has become a bitch-athon lately
and even i am gettin tired of it.
i know most of it has to do with -- well, lack of outside stimulation,
i spose. i been damn near bed-ridden for the last four out of five weeks or so.
if i walk out to the mail box it's like a trip to friggin lake fork!
ok , not so much... but it is a big deal.

or maybe it's like driving.. i've driven twice since i been down.
the first time i was pretty scared.
i was still in way to much pain, and shouldn't have drove at all,
but i had no choice that day.
but the other time, was the other day-- i still can't turn my head enough to drive very safely, but it wasn't as scary, and i felt a little free-er.
so i'm gettin there.
i also-- as you now know-- swept my floor that was very close to givin me an stroke at any-time.
AND i just now finished a load of dishes.. y'all know either somethin is real wrong-- or really not wrong when I get excited over cleaning.
i may have overdone it a little today-- but that's alright--
i'm comfortable, at least mentally-- in my home now.
and since it looks like this is where i'm gonna be for a while--

i may as well go for the trade off eh?

which i spose would be --

a little more pain,
for a little more clean?


and, luckily i have a couple friends out there who keep me pretty well entertained through the day lately. i'd be in a rubber room by now if not for them. soulman was off work for like a week or so after i got out of the hospital, and after that he got lots of time off when i had appointments--and i slept a lot etc.
but this past week that i've been awake and upright, and bored out of my skull all day-- it really helps to have my friends to keep me "entertained"-- or occupied..or whatever that would be.

and with that i will set you free.

but first-- you must know that this is the most pain in the ass post i have ever in the history of my blog, posted.
i began and stopped several times last night---
mainly due to-- falling asleep :))
i think i fell asleep on somebody's blog too-
maybe a couple somebody's. :))

and today-- my goshkness.
i have started-stopped-come back to- left- draft saved-
and one time thought i LOST this almost finished whole post cuz i accidentally closed the lid!
but it came back up on restart--- so i was happy it didn't get lost.
then here i am.. and it is now all done.
and you prolly hate me for it.
i didn't mean to leave my entire medical record here for you to read.
i planned on a few "notes"
and a quick rap up.
like that is ever possible with me.

let's just hope that from now on ,
it will be.
cuz i think we're almost done.
and haven't we come a long way this year?
just wait for the annual "wrap - up"

it'll either be a miracle
evidence for a law suit

ya reckon?

i really will shut up now
bye folks