Tuesday, March 30, 2010

"stop shitting yourself " - "maybe if you stop trying to kill me"

for real folks. when does it end?

put yourself in my position for a minute. or try to. or , perhaps maybe, you've been here. just for a moment? maybe not all the high or low points of the day, but i will take this one situation that me and soulkid found ourselves in this afternoon. then i reckon i'll work my way backwards throughout the rest of our day. sound ok to you? i hope so. because it started out pretty good. for US, anyhow. you ready? k. here we go. we were on our way home from our little mommy daughter afternoon outing. which included a stop at the post office, then Target, then a coffee to go, then the salon for 'manicures', then
- this - then headed on home - but , i would have happily skipped THIS part -

NO - thank God, we did NOT collide.
but i did however have a arm flailing , hands waving, full fledged panic-attack !
of course. only to be screamed at by my child - who was 'driving' . who also turned left on a green light - smack into oncoming traffic in rush hour !
her reply to my "You almost got us hit by that car !"
"I had a green light!"
"It wasn't a green ARROW- you had a YIELD!"
"Stop shitting yourself, it didn't hit us!"
"Stop trying to kill me, and pay attention!"
-- now comes me turnin the radio down- her turnin it up-
who has a xanax?
cigarette? ahh yeh that'll work.
everyone shuts up and i smoke :))
this happened one mile from home.
we survived.
we didn't speak for the first half hour at home.
now all is fine.
cuz that's how we roll, baby.

(as i write this she and her dad are arguing over her crushin snack boxes, and takin out the trash - in the kitchen -- ugh. )

ok, so. backtracking to the beginning of our journey -- to go forward :
i was goin to get ready to head out with her- knowing she was gonna drive. i was ok with that. lately she has been drivin alot with her dad, and she's been doin real well. or at least that's what they tell me. so. i go to get ready. and guess what? i cannot find one very important part of my wardrobe. what do you think that might be? yeh. my bra. not even a dirty one. WTH? i'm searchin all over the place. even in my dirty laundry basket, of all places. to no avail. can't find one anywhere. i begin to wonder if the dogs have drug em off - or maybe even ate them? geesh.
so we have to add Target to our list of places to go. fun fun. not.
we head on out and go to the post office first , to mail my stupid life insurance -- that had lapsed. but thankfully- i was able to talk someone into waving the reinstatement form, and i only had to pay the three months-- yeh i know-- that i was behind, plus april payments... PHEW, then i needed to check my PO box. well, soulkid missed her turn so she was goin the wron way - or woulda been on a one way, in the parkin lot - so she had to park and i had to walk like half a block to go inside. y'all know that was fun. so after that we go to target to scope out the bras. of course, i come out of the dressing room, and the lady notices - right away that one of the two is "missing. " this kinda stuff only happens to me ya know. so i have to tell her i'm wearin it. talk about embarrassed . geesh. (there were two bras on one hanger.) so then i get treated like a thief , and 'escorted ' to the cashiers counter .. while hollerin for soulkid.. to join me, like the "white-trash alert" that we are :)) funny part was , she wasn't embarrassed at all, she just wanted me to buy her a shirt -- which i refused to do. she has had entirely too much money spent on her lately. so, there i was, tryin to be all stealth-like, and get outta there-- and she begins to 'argue' over a damn shirt. terrific .
i was never as happy as the moment we got out of there.
well, other than the moment -'white trash alert' was actually born.
(i'll tell ya about that little quote someday. it's a 'Soul original' )
so anyhow- we leave. soulkid still drivin, still doin good.

and we go down the road to have our nails done. yep. mommy daughter manicures.
how sweeT ! right? not so much really. first, we go in, and they have a wait. so , we go next door - kinda, and get a coffee. sit over there for a bit, then go back. they can only take one of us, so i let soulkid go first. ten or fifteen minutes later another gal calls me. okee dokee. she tries to seat me with my back to soulkid, i ask if i can sit next to her. sure no problem.
the woman was a friggin sadist !!! five minutes in and i was already grimmacing, but trying not to say anything---

she drew freakin BLOOD!

then , not only that -- five minutes later? she pours alcohol on it, without warning !
i say through gritted teeth "that's some alcohol"
OMG i think. WTH - i also think

now, i not only am in pain, but ready to hit her as well.
but nooo. i remain calm. well. as calm as can be expected.
she did it again. the bitch friggin cut me again.. on the other hand - a different finger- different cuticle. and i just couldn't contain myself any further. the one finger - my pinky on the other hand is still bleeding and stinging. she's friggin gouging this metal 'tool' into everthing she possibly can, and now/ yep- she has these freakin sharp clippy things, and i'm bleedin again ! NO THANKS. i refuse to pay for this kind of treatment.
i stood up and said. "ok, this is just NOT fun for me. i will pay when she is finished."
then i had to get some air. which in my language means have a cigarette. so i went to the car to look for soulkids 'missing' phone. which again halfway means - have a cigarette. ugh. her phone really was 'lost'. we thought she may have left it at target, but luckily while i was out there - someone called mine, and said it was at the coffee place, so i just went in there and got it.

it wasn't long after that when soulkid was finished. i was happy for that. i was even happier for the fact that i wasn't charge for my butchering. i mean partial manicure.

then of course we went on to endure the lovely 'almost car wreck'

you KNOW you wanna be me -- :))

or soulman - right?
cuz right now - it's his turn. she is drivin him to her boyfriends place of employment at this moment :)) wish them well.

and a happy night to y'all

PS- my brand new damn bras are too tight :((

have a nice day