Monday, July 13, 2009

today's the day ----- plus my shadow pix-- forgot to post em earlier --

mornin folks-- well, sorta. i reckon it's mornin to me. well, that , or bedtime. it used to be i was goin to bed at this time, now i'm wakin up. will i ever get it right? i guess not. prolly part of gettin old maybe. i remember when i was younger , and i'd stay with my "aunt and uncle P." they were cousins, i just don't really know how-- they were old as my gramma. but man that lady could make the best chicken - n- dumplins you ever ate! anyhow. uncle P- he would be up all night all the time . me and my sis found him asleep nekkid in his chair one night we laughed about that for years and years. poor fella died in that chair. fell asleep watchin tv one night, and it caught on fire-- the old tube type tv set. i guess he never knew what happened. anyhow, it was fun to go there as kids. what's weird about it is , to this day , i can't remember if his wife died in the fire or not.
one time, us kids climbed up in their plumb tree and ate every last plumb off of it. we got in trouble for it too. she was a jelly/jam maker.. but not that time. no fruit for the makin. oops. one time my cousin threw a barbie doll at my brother too.. but he missed, and hit my mom right in the boob! she didn't appreciate that much. then there was the time we thought it would be cool to dig tunnels in her back yard--- her entire back yard--- how were we to know she had just planted a garden?

ahhhhhh the good ole days. i guess they were kinda like grandparents, more than aunt and uncle. we called their son , who was old as our mom, uncle too, and his son, of course cousin. i don't know how the whole dynamic worked there. i don't even know if it was a blood kin kinda thing. i just remember being happy there.
then one day it all just stopped. not sure if it was cuz he died... or if "dear gran gran gran " pissed em off, and we all got black balled. that happened a lot. back in those days. my mom would just cross that line and push someone too far, and we weren't welcome there anymore. even my own gramma... went years without seein any of her side of the family. i still see very very little of them.

so. i bet y'all are wonderin where i'm goin with all of this, right? well... today, we head to the closing table. it's been so long since we bought a house i really don't even know what to expect. well, aside from handing over just about every dime we have struggled to save over the last few months. which wasn't very easy, as at the same time we were paying off debts too. i never thought i could be so diciplined to do what i've done with our budget this last few months... but i've done it-- and i've been hitler around here with the others as much as i could be about them squandering money too. haha, maybe that's why i gained all this damned weight i did--- for whatever reason-- however it happened-- cuz if all this scrimpin and savin, woulda been goin on with me at 120 pounds-- i prolly woulda shrivelled up and croaked. :))
maybe now i can lose my weight. stress, sometimes will make ya gain weight wether ya eat a lot or not. either way, it's about to drive me crazy. so i hope i can lose some of it. ok a lot of it.

we did a final walk through of the house yesterday. we still love it. we still imagine soulkids kids runnin around the place. (hopefully years from now ). we were trying to decorate in our minds where this or that would go in there. what would we have to buy. where would the dog crates go. all that kinda stuff. i had to ask the lady how i could keep the flowers and grass alive. cuz i know i'll kill every bit of the lawn and flower beds. i got some good tips-- but i know i'll have to get some books on that subject. i can barely keep a plastic plant alive!!!

anyhow -- i'm hoping this sleep and non sleep mess i've gotten into lately is all stress related , and after the closing i will relax some, and get back on a normal-- well, for me -- sleep pattern.

i have so much crap to do. as far as packing, cleaning.. like deep cleaning for a deposit refund. separating from what to keep out and , what to store, and what to donate, or sell. i really think i'm gonna pack my jewelry , and sentimental stuff and hire someone to pack the rest. my back just can't take it. if soulkid won't motivate-- i'll donate ALL of her shit.. and she can start over-- except for her jewelry. and soulman , well it's up to him. he knows his options . but i am not gonna be stressed out and responsible for their stuff on top of everything else. it's makin me wanna run away until they have everything done and over at the other house! believe it or not-- they do function pretty well without me.. it's when i'm here that they they just wait for me to do it. BAH. i used to do it all just fine til a few years ago. like take care of the house, and moving etc. i just can't anymore, not mentally , or especially physically.

well hell, i sure didn't mean for this to become a rant. i'm happy that everything went through. i can't believe it did, to be honest. and i can't believe the deal we got. in a good -- or better/normal.. whatever.. economy... this house will prolly appraise near 180-200,000 -- that's a ton of equity , compared to what we're startin with. i wonder how long it will be before all this economy crap turns around?? if ever. cuz ya know we got a VA loan with no money down. all we are payin is like 40 percent of closing costs. i don't even know how much that is YET. the day OF closing and we don't know how much to bring to closing. the good faith estimate "changed", but we don't know by how much. just that "we need more monies". isn't that special? i hope we have enough. we don't even know what made it change. i know nothing about buying a house. i just go with the flow. all i did was agree or disagree til i liked a house. and paid down bills, and saved as much money as i could. which took a lot of stashing and deception on my part-- we can't afford it-- we don't have it-- we're broke-- that kinda thing. but it worked. well, for the most part. we'd have more, if some small hands weren't always stuck out for "stuff" . but daddy i need it.-- even after i already said NO. he didn't know. so he'd get sucked right in and buy the little princess , mostly, whatever she "needed". he's learning tho.

well anyhow-- i expect yet another drag my ass day. hopefully after we close, and i know how we sit financially, and homeworthy, and all that... we can get on with things. cuz for now , i am suffering from severe overwhelmation, and i cannot focus.

maybe now i can say it and finally mean it---


happy whatever the hell day it is.
i haven't kept my days straight all week.
yesterday i thought it was saturday the 13th, then the other day i thought it was friday but it was saturday.
i just may lose what's left of my mind before this is all over with.

PLUS i think i need to have a yardsale. the more i look around the more i see that i don't wanna pack, move, or screw around with.

i also think we are gonna take a real live vacation after we get moved in. before school starts. we've been talkin about it. we're all a bunch of witches around here. moving is really hard on all of us in one way or another. always has been. if we end up without time or money to go somewhere before school starts we'll plan on spring break. but i certainly see a vacation in sight. in 17 years we have had 2 real family vacations. that's not nearly enough. i wonder where we will go.
california? new york? galviston? san antonio? (again)... i wanna go tubin again...i think that was austin but hell i don't know. but i heard the water was low right now.
soulkid hates fishin, so any of the good lakes she wouldn't want to go to. soooo, we're talkin.

ok.. i'm gettin crosseyed and makin no sense prolly. my mind is a plate of scrambled eggs right now. i'm tired, and have a million things on my mind.

i will let y'all know how things go today later on.

chow peeps


i almost-- ok, i did forget--- my shadow pix ---- they were sposed to be up on saturday-- oops!