Monday, November 30, 2009

WE DID IT !!!! WOO HOO !!!

howdy folks- and folkettes :))

i don't have time to write at the moment-- so let the photos do the talkin---

nuthin like child labor -
us old folks didn't have to hang one ornament :))
but it sure was fun to watch!

every year since it was possible,
soulman has lifted soulkid to put the angel on top of the tree.
- seems to be quite a strain this year eh? -
well, she sure would be-- if not for the ladder !
bwa hahhahahaha !

soulkids FIRST christmas pic with a Boyfriend!
i think it's adorable !
- they both hate it-
or so they say.

Jitterbug had no problem finding her favorite spot
under the tree.
the minute the clutter was moved -- she was THERE!
(YES, Smocha we are gonna move the cord. :))

aint they sweeT
a man and his reinDOG

and, last but not least -
the elusive

if y'all are wonderin where my pic is? well... i was cameraman. you know how it is.

oh wait-- one more ---

how could i forget the baby of the family?
here's sushi and her baby-

which she tore the stuffing out of , and he had to be thrown away :((
poor sushi spent an hour looking for that baby.

ok peeps-- life around here begins again today , school, work, lists, bills, errand, and junk like that.

hope you all have wonderful weeks in your worlds!!!!!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

how do ya feel about that turkey now eh?

howdy peeps-
seein as i have nuthin to say today -- well, at the moment--
nuthin worthwhile anyhow--
i'll just toss this up for now-- and put a real post up later on.
all i will say about yesterday -- in case anyone is wonderin.... nuthing ever goes as planned.. so today we're wingin it --- if it works out -- i'll have pix up tonight .
so just pray i don't over work myself -- like you know i did yesterday. sometimes i just can't help myself. you know how it is. or not. some think i do too much. some think i do nuthin. my body tells the true tale. don't be hatin. just love me.

anyhow-- the below video expresses NONE of my own feelings or beliefs -- y'all know we had turkey, and cornish hens-- and last night-- audrey cooked a yummy roast--
i fish like a crazy woman.. when the body allows it-- but mainly catch and release-- long as it aint walley or trout -- and of course -- both are about only in my dreams--
(due to the heat here in texas)
and yep -- that happens on occasion :)) and even then i don't take a walley off the hook -- those damn things have some mean ass teeth! :))

(THIS is a walleye)

so anyhow-- i'll catchya round

have ya some happy sundays out there --
we will try -- long as i don't faint -- or end up in bed before 8 pm.
oh boy, it does suck gettin old.
i had yet another day of waking up wondering about the day i won't be able to get out of bed on my own.
such a depressing thought at my age.
but hey-- it's all good.
i manage for now- that's what matters right.
laterz peeps

Saturday, November 28, 2009

tree fail

mornin folks--

ok. so another year goes by with yet another broken tradition. my intentions were good. but , well, we all know what folks say about those. right?

i'm trying to teach a lesson around here -- that an apology should never be followed with an excuse. it kinda defeats the purpose. don't you agree? well, that seems to be a bad habit we all have here. the three of us seem to be pretty defensive people. if that's the word. i'm not sure.
anyhow. can i say -- i'm the best of the worst :)) -- i really can find, and admit my faults , and apologize --- much of the time -- without an excuse of my wrongdoing. ya know? the other two? well sometimes , let's just say -- they really try to find justification. and i think that sucks the life out of an apology. but like i said-- i'm guilty (sometimes) too.

are ya gettin where this is goin yet ?
well, if it were an apology - it would go something like this : (To soulkid)

from ME:

" i'm sorry we didn't get the Christmas tree put up last night, but i was in pain, and tired."

pretty cheesy eh?

but ya know-- if you were to ask soulman? he MIGHT say this -

"i'm sorry we didn't get the tree up last night, but i have been fighting a pinched nerve for a whole week, and i just finished emptying the storage bin. i'm sore."

but--- the truth of the matter-- the meat of the entire thing???
soulkid saw my post yesterday. so even though neither of us mentioned putting the tree up yesterday , she was looking forward to it ALL day.
before dinner, she asked if we were gonna do it---
know what she got?

from me :

"i don't think so -- i'm so tired and my back is killin me."

(at that time soulman was at storage finishing that up--getting a bed out-- no less. ugh.) --
he really did pinch a nerve -- or hurt himself somehow-- with the last load from storage -- i just can't get the man to go to the dr !!! erg!

so yeh.
she was upset -- and the topic didn't come up again for the rest of the night.

instead -- i actually cooked dinner (made some penne pasta -- with a bruchetta type sauce -- and leftover turkey meat --- shaddup--it was yummy) :))
and audrey made a yummay, cucumber salad with a german twist (her mamma is german) -- and she made some garlic bread. it all was goood--

and we watched a movie -- a movie that if you haven't seen it yet-- do NOT waste your time or money. i know many of you wouldn't make it past the first fifteen minutes of this thing. it is the crudest piece of crap i have sat thru in years. and i'm surprised i bothered.
soulkid and audrey walked out and went upstairs after the first 15-20 minutes of it's awfullness.

oh-- what movie? this one:

ugh-- the language was just horrible. and not just cuz i'm not around that kinda stuff very often. hell, even i cuss-- on occasion :))
but seriously --- it was unnecessary vulgarity. i was in the navy folks -- i have heard it all. but when i am sittin in my living room at home with my family ? it's just not what i thought i was gettin us into.
i thought it was "funny people" - not " crude people"

so--- my critique? if you want something funny-- and really want to laugh--- and not at the sake of losing half your audience -- like we did--- get THIS one -- good clean hilarious funny movie!!!

this is a great movie-- lotsa laughs -- and one for the whole family ! enjoy !!!

ok... on that happy note i believe that i am out of blog talk-

as for the upping of the Christmas tree-- YES -- it will be up today -- or tonight.
maybe that is the one thing that has to be different? we might have to do it in the middle of the day -- instead of at night like we usually do. my body is just done for by 6 pm these days-- if not sooner.
anyone know of assisted living places for the "young at heart-crippled everywhere else" ????


y'all have happy days in your worlds today -- i will letya know how it goes in mine-

Friday, November 27, 2009

has anyone seen my oompa loompa ??


missing oompa loompa!!!!


here is my office window-
before the blinds-

here is my office window-
after the blinds-

isn't it loverly? my christmas tree will sit directly in the middle, and will be oh so prett-eee!

guess what else? my family tradition, ever since i can remember, was that we would put the tree up the day after Thanksgiving. that is, until an awful and tragic thing happened in the soul-clan life, shaking our world , and never letting me be my 'old self'.

well, guess what? we have not, in almost 14 years put our tree up the day after thanksgiving. some years, we have actually waited until literally the last minute, and didn't even BUY a tree until Christmas EVE ! unfortunately that was at a time that soulkid was still my starry eyed, santa believing, cookie makin, 2-7 year old , not understandin, baby. and i sucked the magic out of all those memories. i did the best i could, and thank God soulman picked up the slack and did a fine job being santa. if not for him, all those magical years-- or what was left of them.. would have been just days. i'm sure of it.

some of you may not know why this is. but i changed - in a big and very fast way. and not for the better. i caused this family a lot of grief and heart ache. i can't erase any of that. not any more than soulkid can erase what she feels that she has caused.

she made a valiant effort yesterday to make up for what she feels she needed to mend. in our eyes as parents - it wasn't necessary. we love her unconditionally. what has been done - has been done. we don't dwell on the painful times. we look forward to-- and we enjoy the good times we have now. she is an amazing girl. AMAZING. no grudges. clean slate. nothing owed. we just LOVE her.

i'm sure that's how they feel about me. but me? i feel like i have a lot to make up for. a lot of pain. a lot of if only's . i can only start with now. i can't change what is done.
they know that. i know they love me.

oh how many times i couldn't say that before. couldn't believe it. soulkid couldn't either. today we both can.
cuz we are the soul-clan.

ok- i'm done-
i must go now-

i hope you all had great days yesterday-- and better weekends ahead!

hugz to all of you!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

who says i aint thankful ??

i am very thankful. for every- thing. and every body in my life.

today was a great day. exhausting. but great. i spent just as much time in the kitchen as i would have had i actually cooked the entire meal, rather than had most of it pre - cooked - only to re- heat. ugh. really. i will never go that route again. so to anyone who wished they'd have bought a pre-cooked meal? you missed nothing. except the wishing you had a home cooked meal. are we ever happy with what we have?
i wish we woulda gone out.
i wish we woulda stayed in.
i wish i didn't have to cook.

ya know?

it's always somethin.

but regardless.

i wouldn't trade it.

i would however trade this headache that hit me about an hour ago. it just want to hold on.

other than that.
good day.

i hope you all had happy days teeeeeewwwww

g'nite folks

has anybody seen my crock-pot ???

i have half of it -- and the lid, oh, and the cord. i just cannot seem to find the bottom part. the part that heats it all up. the heating element unit part. or whatever the hell ya call it. and of course y'all know, without that, my crock pot? she's useless ! just taking up space, and making me angry every time i see it. well the parts of it i do have. ummm, see. because there are things i would like too cook in it sometimes. like chili verde. perhaps with the fresh hatch green chili i have in my freezer. especially with audrey here. that happens to be my 'specialty meal. something i make for all my "guests" - if time permits. and of course- we like it too-- it's cheap- easy- and quick-- not to mention -- de-li-cious! but noooo. i can't make it . cuz my crock pot is missing it's ass. dammit!
i also came across a yummy sounding cranberry roast recipe. yeh, me too. i never heard of such a thing. but it was like 4 ingredients- throw it in a crock pot-- ooooh sounds delightful!!! can i even attempt to TRY it? oh hell no. why? yup. cuz my crock pot is missin it's ass!

oh geesh-- i just remembered something-- it's Thanksgiving today !!!! i spose i'm not sounding very thankful am i? wonder why? maybe cuz my crock pot-- i'm kiddin , i won't say that again. but really. i have been lookin for it for weeks. where could it be? things like that don't just walk out of the kitchen. i have looked every-where. even the laundry room closets-- and the garage! no idea where my senile mind may have put that. grrrrr.

ok. my apologies. again.

happy Thanksgiving to every one of my peeps out there. i hope none of you are alone-- or lonely today.

SMOCHA --- go get some chips and go thrift shoppin. treat it like just another day and it will 'be' just another day. i love you!! call me.
everybody go give smocha a shout out-- it's not a holiday in England-- but she's there and she's with just her kitties today.

am i the only one out here who's gettin lazy and old? this won't be happening for Christmas -- seein as Soulkid was pretty upset at the whole idea.. and we ended up spendin twice as much buyin a second meal at the grocery store --- for Her to COOK-- along with dessert. but i just didn't feel like doin up the whole holiday meal cooking and mess thing, so i ordered a pre-cooked meal -- which included a fried (cajun) turkey, and all the sides, that soulman picked up yesterday.
well -- that just didn't go over well with soulkid. it was way too non traditional for her... plus considering last years holidays-- she wanted to right the wrong.
i can understand that. right? i feel the same way. i just don't feel that way about thanksgiving. apparently she does. i thought the importance of it all was all about Christmas, because it has been such a mess around here for so long-- but yeh, last year was --- well, ok 2 years--- or uhh, maybe 15 years-- BLEH--- ok-- we have a lot of making up to do. it can't even Be done. all we can do is start over. right?

so. soulkid was a little more offended that i thought she'd be about not cooking. i didn't really think she'd care- to be honest. i knew she didn't want to go out to eat. so at least we were eating here. right? ummm, wrong. not good enough. so, she insisted that HER meal be bought RAW, and SHE would, because she wanted to-- cook it herself. just a cornish hen, she would eat some of the other stuff. oh but she would make rice crispy treats. :))

oh, i don't know-- i don't think that is comin together at all is it? i prolly coulda said it in three sentences or less. i swear my mind is just goin bye bye people.

anyhow-- this is the most expensive Thanksgiving "double" meal we've had in years. (only double meal actually). you know once you get in the store the day before thanksgiving you toss 100 down before ya can blink. and of course the pre-cooked meal , that is supposed to save you time and money--- does not. ugh. we shoulda stuck with the kids idea. 3-4 cornish hens, a few taters, a couple pies, a couple cans of green beans. but nooooooo. we get sucked in to the whole -- gotta have a fried turkey--- oh but wait lady, we also have this, and this, and this toooo. (for a fee).

then-- oh what about dessert? and drinks? and soukid wants a baby-chicken. SOAB.

and now guess who's at my front door? yep-- the kitty cat. even she wants food.

oh-- i didn't tell ya -- i finally got window blinds in my office. they look so much better. it seems like it took forever since they measured them, til they installed them yesterday. i can't put a pic up right now cuz my camera is in my room and soulman is asleep still. but i will put a pic up later. they are on the window where our christmas tree is gonna go.

y'all have NO idea how many YEARS it's been since we have had a front window to put our tree in front of. i am actually excited! you don't realize it -- but that is a good thing. :))


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

i woke up today -- did you

i forgot to mention that the other day (Sunday) , i dropped audrey off to go to church . i would have gone to pick her up, but she decided she wanted to walk home, it was only about a 1/4 mile. the weather was nice , so i didn't argue-- i did double check tho, and tell her i didn't mind goin back to get her. she was sure she wanted to walk. so i said ok, and came home.
well, between home and church is chiken-express... and she got a huge laugh at the sign they had up...
this one:
she said-- and i quote:
"you know you aren't in California when you see this"

i cracked up laughin. i reckon they aint got no gizzards out in california. that's a shame. cuz when i told soulman after he got back yesterday that 'our' chicken-express now had livers and gizzards ---- just guess what we had for dinner????
well... us bein me and soulman. the rest of the gang -- audrey, soulkid, and soulkid 2 for the night... had chicken strips. but hey-- i love me some fried gizzards. :))
i tried to get soulkid to try one-- but once she found out what they were---- she politely refused.
bwa hahahahahahah
she did, however have a new foodie experience in Austin-- raw mushrooms--in her salad. and guess what? she liked them ! haha. she swore she would never eat a mushroom.
what should we try next? perhaps..... beets? or is that cruel? they would disguise nicely as a crabapple tho. hmmm. she finally eats onions. now mushrooms. there's gotta be somethin i can get the girl to eat. suggestions?

anyhow--- not much more to say. my life has been quite slow paced and spent mostly here at the house lately. leaving me with little to nothin to blog about.

so--- i reckon i shall leave you with a couple more pix of the clan in Austin. than i am outta heah----
-- try clickin on em to make em bigger --

the famous frog - on 'the drag'
their gonna knock this building down soon
goodbye froggie :((

she's cool, she knows it :))

happy tuesday folks!

Monday, November 23, 2009

ch- ch- ch- changes

happy monday y'all -

obviously, i've made some changes around here. they sort of coincide with a few other changes that i've noticed happening around here. not of my doing, btw. but hey. if it's time for change - it's time for change. right?

i won't pin point exactly what i'm thinkin about-- or talkin about really. right now anyhow. either you've noticed -- or you haven't. if you happen to be 'oblivious', let's just consider that a good thing. k?

anyhow. -- wait--- i gotta get a watah. be right back.
i'm back. not that you would have noticed me 'missing', i just feel the need to let ya know when i leave, because y'all know , once i get distracted-- sometimes, there's just no gettin back to the original thought. kinda like now. so. yeh. things have changed around here lately, so i made some changes around this morning. as for a few of "the places i wander" .. any of them that haven't updated in longer than one month i took them down. nothing personal. let me know if you get goin again please-- i would love to know.

ok , so what else has been goin on lately? well, for starters... soulman and soulkid went on a road-trip! i didn't go, cuz my back just wouldn't allow it. not such a long drive, for such a short time. they went to Austin yesterday, just for overnight, and part of today. that didn't leave near enough recovery time for me. no way could i recover from the drive, walk around, shop, have fun, do the same today, and get back in the car to come all the way home today. so they had a daddy -daughter road trip.
they've been sending pix on my phone. it looks like they are havin a blast. they really needed this. so even tho i would have liked to go-- i'm glad i didn't -- in a way-- because it has been really good for the two of them.

soulkid with stevie ray vaughn's statue

soulman with SRV's statue
(at his grave.)
creepy? a little -- but the man was awesome guys.

this is the one they sent at bed-time
"g'nite mom"

so yeh, i miss em. they'll be home this evening.
obviously- with the clan gone, and me and audrey just hangin at the crib, i don't have a whole lot more to talk about.

the holidays are rollin up pretty quickly, and some of you know that it's not my favorite time of year. i am really trying this time around though. soulkid is very excited, and that is so good to see. due to the last couple years being so hard on her-- and that making it so much tougher on the rest of us. not to mention my own black cloud causing its usual problems. so my main goal for the next many weeks is to NOT be a depressed grouchy grinch. and to be in the spirit of the holidays. if that means rollin a big fat -- i'm just joshin people!!!! really tho-- i am tryin my hardest to be happy-- and make my family happy this holiday season. i am not gonna rain on this parade. not this time.

so. if i disappear for a while -- call it self preservation. cuz once in a while i find this blog to be a source of my down-fall sometimes. there just happens to be a person or two that know a button or two and just when and how to push them. i'm gettin better about de-fusing those particular buttons. but until i perfect that, i may need to take a break.

happy monday peoples--

and if i aint around--
i hope you ALL have happy turkey days !!!!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

souls saturday sour - puss post

howdy folks--

wanna hear my movie critique for the week? if not - turn back now, cuz i have a feelin i don't have much more to talk about than that this mornin. and unless something extremely exciting happens in soul land today-- i don't think i'll have anything to say later either. yes, i am in a fowl mood this morning. i don't even know why. i'm just crabby. but then again, when am i not? right? tell me it's just age. or not. perhaps it was the mountain of cat puke i just had to clean up, and my mood will change soon? ya reckon? cuz i feel mean, and i can't like it.

(mean ole soul)

alright, so, anyhow. the movie review. y'all know.... well, those who read yesterday, know that we went to the movies last night and watched "The Blind Side". it was goooood! a little slow paced, but still a really good movie. true story too. it had everything in it. it had some comedic moments, action, sad parts, suspenseful parts. name it it's there. of course, it's a family type movie-- pg-13. very little cussing, and i think there weren't any sex scenes at all. so it's fine to bring the young-uns. but like i said -- there's a couple action parts that maybe a little intense. but they don't last long. or get too bad. we all three liked it.
sandra bullock did real good in it. and the little boy was soooo cute! the big boy -- the star guy, he did good too. i don't think i've seen him before, so if this was his first movie, he did real good.

so yep-- anyhow-- i say go see it. or wait for the dvd. either way, it's a must see. but it's not a rush to the theater for it type movie. but do see it. it's a goody.

ok y'all. that's it outta me today.

hope you all have happy Saturdays out there-

Friday, November 20, 2009

post number 863, and i got nuthin but brain fog

but hey-- there's a fairy for that! wanna see?

yeh, i named him the "brain fog fairy"
why not, right? don't ask me why, or how, but i googled "absent minded" and his image was THIRD to show up. i went no further. if HE is what defines absent minded, then i will take him all the way to my full blown senility baby!!!

ok, enough playin around. for now at least.

i don't have a lot to say today really. i've pretty much just been tryin to recover from the endo/gastro tests, and all they took out of me for the last couple days. i actually felt fairly normal-- for me, normal, yesterday. not so dead and weak feelin. which is good.

the day before, i had an appointment with my pain doc. that went fairly well. for the first time out of the last three appointments, i did NOT go in there crying. ugh. i hate it when that happens. sems that was a depression attack from hell thing i had goin on. i recently had the med change i mentioned- going from generic to name brand meds.. made a real big difference in how i feel. i was really sad -- a lot, for a few weeks runnin. a few days on the better med? i feel ok. much better. the doc asked "howya doin"?
i said, i'm least i'm not gonna cry."
she said "good. -- correcting herself quickly--"it would be ok if you did. but i'm glad you're feeling better".
i like her.
i actually see her-- and a man doc too. the man one is the main one..he's the 'surgeon'. who does the procedures etc. and i see her mainly for the med management etc, and to see how i'm doin. i like them both. they seem to really enjoy their jobs and what they do, and they sincerely care for their patients. i am sooooo NOT used to that.
so anyhow-- i told her what's been goin on, how things have been worse and NO better. she suggested what i feared. goin back in and 'tweaking things". (her words, not mine.) ugh. please help me. that would be one of two things. either another rhizotomy. -- only on a different nerve-- or set of nerves. oh how i dread the the thought. ---- or-- maybe simply another 'cervical facet injection'. which i have also had before-- that did little to no good.
i don't know what to do-- i just know that i have to do something. i cannot continue this way. it's just too much. too bad. too often.

i got a phone call this morning already-- from some physical therapy place-- referred by the pain doc. i of course refused. some of you may remember the last time i attempted PT??? about a year or so ago? geesh. it damn near killed me. i really tried. but it did more harm than good. and most of you knew that i wouldn't last before i did. so yep-- i told the lady this morning-- ummm, NO. thanks, but no thanks. tell him it does more harm than good, and i respectfully decline. my body, my pain, my decision, my choice, my NO. thanks, and click.

so. what else? oh i know. are y'all ready for a new movie review? we're goin to see the blind side tonight .--- this one-- with sandra bullock in it---

it looks like it will be an excellent movie-
and i hope we won't be disappointed.
we've been waitin weeks for this to come out.

my review will be up tomorrow sometime. also, tomorrow is soulmans' birthday -- give the ole man a shout out if you so desire. he has to work all day.. so i'm thinkin we will go ahead and do the ole celebration thing tonight, since he is off today. perhaps dinner before the movie. he's been droppin hints about a watch he wants , for weeks... but even tho i say 'send me the link... send me the link... over and over-- do you think he has sent me the link??? nooooooo. he has not. so guess what he gets for his birthday? yup -- underwear!!!! bwa hahahhahahahahahaha

ahhhhhh. i love that man.

y'all have happy fridays in your worlds today peeps--
i plan to-

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

mornin people--
wow- time does fly - doesn't it? i don't think i'll say when you're havin fun, in this line though-- cuz y'all can see from the last several posts -- it hasn't been a whole lotta 'fun' around here lately.
but, we have had our moments.
if, you want to include me nearly -- literally-- choking to death at lunch yesterday. no kiddin. i was about one second away from the ole 'international sign of choking'. i reckon i wasn't thinking that my throat might be a little swollen after the endoscopy-- and i really was deprived of not only solid food-- but i was down-right steak-hungry. so after we -- soulman, myself, and oh hell, i'll just say it-- my friend who's here-- audrey-- (who most of you know by now i have known since i was like 5 years old)
ran some errands and took her to check out a job prospect-- (ugh, which i have more to say about in a minute)--
we stopped for lunch on the way back home. well, you know, for days, i have been eating nearly nothing, and what i did eat was ugh-- i just want to forget about it. i could count on one hand what i "ate" over 48 hours.
so-- i was not only wanting a steak-- i was near craving a steak-- kinda like a vampire.
it gets to the table-- i didn't take some big huge man-sized bite--- but i'll admit it may have been a little bigger than i might usually take. let's just say that was a huge mistake. it got stuck half way down. for real. and there i am, literally on the verge of choking to death -- but what was my main concern? looking stupid-- or causing a scene! i put my face into the wall as i tried to un- choke myself. mind you-- this is a real choke-- where i'm not really - choking- there's like no air-- i'm just trying to force this chunk of meat up out of my throat--- whithout causing a scene. ugh. geesh. thanks mom, for making me feel so secure . ugh.
so anyhow-- of course soulman and audrey by now are flippin out -- he's about to drag me out of the booth -- i'm of course not responding, not talking, choking, nothin, just hiding my face in the wall, tryin my damnedest to get this damn killer steak out of my throat-- without anyone noticing. :((

right before it becomes a big rescue scene - :)) -- i finally was able to get it down and actually cough, and breathe and give the i'm ok pat on the leg to soulman who was next to me. he was not happy that i had let this go on so long without asking for help.
i just really felt like i could get it-- without cpr- or the Heimlich. good lord, i would have been mortified -- never to return.
obviously, i was last in line when they passed out self esteem... but hey-- all's well that ends well, right?
i wasn't able to eat much more after that little production, but i did eat a little more. baby bites of course. then ate my leftover steak for dinner - being watched like a hawk, in case i might choke again. good lawd. think they coulda told me my throat might be swollen at discharge-- don't you agree?

ok so anyhow-- that was about the most exciting thing to happen since the play-- .
but also-- audreys' little job prospect? OMG. what a nightmare that turned out to be.
the deal was that the man she had been talkin to about this whole thing of course made it sound like the opportunity of a lifetime.
'she would live in his 'empty- yet furnished- four bedroom house. then manage it as a 'boarding home type of place and rent out the other three rooms. she would pick and choose who would live there. we all thought that would be good- cuz she could get non smokers, quiet , whatever- whoever she wanted, to move in, and just keep up- collect rent- that kind of thing. her end? pay no rent or utilities. all she would have to do would find a side job for food, transportation, that kind of thing. in this area, rent or mortgage really takes a large portion of anything you bring in. so it sounded good. the guy said the place was a 'nice home', and he talked it up real good. so off we go to go let her check the place out. she had the code to get inside, and no one was there.. it was 'vacant'. and he was out of town- out of state-- who knows. who cares. right?

ok so we get there-- first thing we see-- obviously, the neighborhood. not too horrible. not ghetto- or unsafe -- really. so we walk to the front door. someone has sloshed a whole bottle of drano on the outside of the glass/screen door. (could this be a good sign? umm, thinkin, not) she opens the door-- the first thing i notice-- aside from the destruction inside -- but there is a overpowering smell of MOLD. black mold. the place is worse than anything i have seen in years. thank God for that-- cuz i've had to live in some bad places in my day-- but even back then-- i think this might be the worst place i have seen anyone expected to live in. it would be condemned it whoever does that went in there. we were all three choking within three minutes. i didn't see the mold, but it was there somewhere-- and it was severe. we did a 'walk thru' type thing. the people that were living there left all kinds of stuff there-- furniture, tvs, tools, just lotsa stuff, it was abandoned, they took very little. clothes i guess, and dishes maybe. the place was so disgusting even thieves didn't want it.

we finally got out of there. she stayed inside way too long talkin to this guy on the phone, but me and soulman couldn't get out fast enough. we felt like we needed to have a shower immediately. oh it was horrible. unlivable. i couldn't believe this guy thought anyone was gonna go in there, clean that stuff up- and attempt to rent those rooms. i've heard of places out here that get mold so bad they have to be leveled. i really think that place is one of them. ugh.

anyhow--- that was my yesterday--
today is about to begin...
gotta take the child to school.. then i'm off to yet another dr,. my pain doc. i wish they could tell me why my back won't get better. but i'm just learning to deal i reckon.

when i get back soulman is gonna go get my oil changed in my car.

and i don't really know what i'm gonna do from there. catch up on bills and my bank i know that much. i have no clue what's goin on in that department-- haven't looked at it in almost a week. hope i don't have a stroke.

happy humpday peeps

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

howdy peoples-

well, where to begin?
i need to keep this short and sweet-- well, short at least. i gotta get movin soon.
so, i spose i'll start with the dr. report. well, at least what i remember of it. nothin serious. woo hoo. no bleed- anywhere. so that is good. that was everyone's main concern. so, yeh, good news there. the only thing i'm waitin on-- well, 2 things - 1- they did a biopsy of 'something' in my belly. i really don't remember what he said it was- and wouldn't ya know it- hubby doesn't either. hmmm.
and 2- i need to have a follow up soon - a capsule camera swallow test done . anyone heard of that before? where ya swallow an actual camera! strange huh. well, i don't know when that will be- sometime after the biopsy gets beck i reckon. it is so they can see more of the intestinal tract than with the regular scope. i guess it shows the entire stomach to exit. perhaps. science. what a strange and wonderful thing. if only i was 25 years younger.

so. anyhow. not much else has been goin on. yesterday i did sleep after the test , then i ate , drank coffee, and ate some more. then i watched my 'programs' :)) (house and lie to me) . i went to bed after that. woke up this morning about 7 ish -- and hurt like hell all over. i need to get up and around today and get these old bones movin. two or three days of sittin on butt -- no pun intended-- has done no good at all for my ole bod. so i'm gonna do some work around the house- and run some errands and hopefully get back to life. dehydration and livin the still- life does me no good these days.

hope you all have happy days in your worlds today -
i'm gonna try-

Monday, November 16, 2009

it's monday please feed me

howdy folks-

sorry i haven't been around much over the weekend. it's been a busy one. well , sorta.

hubby went to the school play thursday night, then friday night, my friend and i went. it was really neat. kind of little house on the prairie-ish . the only problem? our seats were behind the two biggest people in the place. there was no where else to move to- so we had no choice but to sit there. - like turkeys - the entire time. do i need to tell you how pissed off i was? or how rude i thought these people were to sit in the front row of a very small 'theater'? or --- how much pain i was in by the time we left?
yeh. i didn't think so.

the last show was last night though, and soulkid was exhausted and very done with the whole thing. she had a sense of pride and accomplishment though. and of course we were some proud soul-parents too. she did really good, and worked really hard. and the night that i went to see the play, i heard some folks talking about the costumes in the hallway at intermission. how neat they were, and realistic for the era being portrayed etc. i made sure to tell soulkid that i heard her compliment -- from someone totally non related to the play - or her. it made her smile.
last night after she got home and changed etc, she was invited over to a good friend of hers house for dinner --- they ate crab legs! what better night for such a meal eh?

she prolly needs a day of-- but it's back to school for her today-
and guess what i get to do? yep-- i get scoped this mornin. oh the joy! i am thrilled that the drinking of that nasty stuff, and runnin to the potty every ten minutes -- for two days -- is OVER. but then again, i'm not real thrilled about what lies ahead in only one hour. i just hope they knock me out quickly. as in very soon after my arrival. and i hope i don't react badly to the anesthesia. i just wanna go in, go to sleep, wake up, come home, go to sleep, wake up--- and have some coffee, and eat some solid real food.
as for the results? still iffy. i don't want this to remain a mystery, or be a waste of time-- but i also don't want it to be serious either. so i don't know what i want to hear from the doctor. i just want it all to be over. this has be a rough weekend. and i feel dead. two days of this kinda torture takes a lot out of a person.
guess i'll check in later or whenever i know what - if anything- the dr. finds out.

y'all have happy mondays out there-

Friday, November 13, 2009

i could tatoo the u.s road map on my arm, and STILL get lost !!!

hi peeps.
i bet you already know where this is goin , dontchya? yup. yesterday was a friggin nightmare! even with the GPS. i think even 'it' hates me. are y'all sure that yesterday wasn't 'friday the 13th' ? yeh, i know. today is. and i think, for once, i kinda fear that.
oh man. finding the airport yesterday-- was pure hell. i know, it had to have been my fat fingers, pressing the wrong button on the GPS when i left home. i swear to all that is holy though, i was certain , i saw, and read it right-- and that i did press the button that said 'Dallas love field'. Obviously, i was mistaken. something went wrong. but of course-- it took me a complete HOUR to realize that error. and a unfamiliar drive all the way to frickin Dallas! y'all know i luuuuuv Dallas. NOT.
know where i ended up? oh, it was an airport-- a damn airplane graveyard type of place-- at a dead end damn dirt road. if i would have been at the right place though? i would have been right on time. my friend called just as i was asking some construction worker-- who could have been a mass murderer- out in the middle of no-damn-where- i had a gut feeling, along with a feeling of dread , that this was just not good. so-- i pick up the phone - tell her to hang on- then i ask the guy-- one of like three i guess-- " am i anywhere near love field?" -- with a sinking feeling that the answer would be what it was-- or similar. know what he said? "love field?, oh hell NO"... "that's about thirty or forty miles that way" --- pointing in the direction i had just COME FROM!!! it was all i could do to not bust out in tears at that second.
thank you.
i turned around and stopped a little bit up the road--- almost forgetting my friend was still on the phone, ugh. so i stopped and talked to her , and reset my GPS-- i was almost in tears. not just because i was lost-- and late. and was going to be like an hour longer to get to her. but my back was killing me. absolutely on fire. i swear people driving by must have thought i had tourettes or something. i had ONE pain pill with me, i took it-- but it did nothing. i couldn't believe this pain, burning, stabbing, torture. and there i was stressed, worried, nervous, lost. mental, might sum it up.
the pain i was feeling was the type that i just couldn't even be silent with. i was alone in the car-- and i would grunt, scream -sorta, just ugh, i don't know- it was horrible. i wanted to call my dr, and ask WTF is wrong? i am really thinkin somethin got messed up. this just cannot be normal.

well.. anyhow-- i did get to the airport finally. thinking i never would, feeling totally lost the entire time. i had no idea where i was or where i was going. i had ZERO faith in my GPS now. in fact i almost tossed it out the window several times. i called soulman a few times-- but he couldn't answer-- cuz he was teaching. he finally did call me back-- he felt so bad for me. i was so on the verge of tears and so stressed out. i did tell him i had got lost-- and where i was then.. he said i was doin ok, i was in the right area and not too far away. so that helped. mentally anyhow. my back was making me want to jump out of the moving car! all i kept thinking was -- how i wished my friend knew how to drive in this kind of traffic. well i got there-- and the first thing she said was "do you want me to drive?"
we had talked, by then 3-4 times on the phone-- i couldn't even pretend to not be in pain. i told her-- i would love for you to drive- but the traffic is hell here. she said she could handle it-- and thank God she did. and did a wonderful job. i wasn't even scared. even soulman makes me nervous with his driving. i think she will do fine here. her first test being dfw traffic at 330 in the afternoon. woo hoo.

so. we get to the house. as you know- we were sposed to go to opening night at the play at school. well... that didn't happen. my back wouldn't allow it. i thought if i took meds, and a shower, and ate-- i might 'bounce back'. think that happened?
oh hell no. look who you're talkin to here.
so. hubby took her back to school, and he watched the play. unfortunately by himself. he took the camera-- but photos are 'strictly prohibited'. bummer.
he said he really enjoyed the play. and man i hope i can go tonight. i need to not do anything, besides baby my back today, so i can make that happen. if i can manage to get myself over there-- my friend and i will go. she can drive- if that is an issue for me. but if i don't go tonight-- i won't get to go at all, due to the prepping etc over the weekend. so i have to be sure i take care of myself and go tonight.

other than that-- i am happy my friend-- i will eventually use her name-- or a name-- i just need to find out what she's comfortable with on here. anyhow--- all went well. and i am happy to see her. seems she is happy to see us too. i wish i would have felt better when she got here. the timing wasn't so great i reckon as far as my body goes.
but hopefully after the gastro tests and all that stuff settles down, i'll be ok.. and she can be more comfortable.

on that happy note-- i must get ready to take my youngster to school.

y'all have happy fridays-- and better weekends!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

it's almost time to go - and i don't know how to get there !

it's time. someone just do it . please. i ask soulman-- well, i had to stop actually, because he got upset. but i asked for a while.... "soulman, please find Dr Kevorkian for me".
y'all remember him right?

"dr death"
he would put people to sleep like animals -
when they were too sick or in too much pain
to have a life anymore.
at their own request obviously- or a family members'.
(not sure whatever happened to him tho - went to jail? who knows.)

anyhow. my point? it's just one-a-those days. i feel like someone is shootin white-hot darts (or needles) into my back ! it's horrible. this is something i haven't felt until after the rhizotomy thing. and it has been goin on ever since. i really hoped that damn thing would help me. things have only gotten worse.
and to top it off? i woke up this morning with low back pain. the one thing that i have had goin for me since the back hell? the steroid epidural in my low back. that DID help. immensely. miraculously even. my LOW back, and my legs have felt almost normal- almost, for much of the time- pain free- without meds. i've been thrilled about that part. but this morning , i woke up feelin depressed and angry that i had pain there. not to mention the upper back and neck pain-- and the voo-doo doll needle bs in my back. (no i don't believe in that. i just don't know how to explain that stuff. it's just awful. )

so anyhow-- now that i got my bitchfest out of the way. (i really am sorry that i do that - you know that right? y'all are the only ones who listen tho. if i complain here? someone else is always worse off, it seems. since when did pain become a competition? )

so. what i meant to begin this stupid thing with in the first place?
i have to leave here in like half an hour or so to head to the airport-- but wouldn't ya know it--- NOT the big airport that i have been to a million times. i have to go to an airport i have been to like once. and i don't remember how to get there! no clue.
yes. i have a GPS. thank God for that. i'm sure i'll find my way. but, i have no idea even how far it is to get there, how long it takes to get there. i don't know how the place is laid out, like where the gates are. i don't know nuthin.

i do know that i just finished off an entire pack of cigarettes - that i opened when i woke up this morning. nervous much? shit.
my house is a disaster area. it looks even worse than it did yesterday--- rather than better. soulman did wash most of the dishes for me. thanks hunny!
but as for the rest of the place? rather than do more cleaning? i've done more draggin crap IN from the garage that came from storage. i just can't help myself. some of it i am just excited to see. and other stuff i am trying to just get through because there are a few things, that i haven't seen yet, and i am wondering where in the hell it is.

anyways, i'm tired, and i'm hungry, i hurt, and i'm a nervous wreck. ugh. i need about three hundred things to be done, and only like half an hour to get it done in. think that'll happen? yeh, me either.
but - like i said, she's (my friend who's coming) is like family, and she really won't care what the place looks like. trust me, she has seen worse. she has seen, and even lived with us back in the roach motel days when we were kids. so it's all good.
besides, she's not gonna care about the house , we'll be catchin up, and she'll prolly be tired when she gets here anyhow. then we have the play to go to tonight. so, if she bitches , i'll just slap her around a little bit. nah i'm kiddin. this is the girl who knocked my front tooth out when we were like 15. hahahahaha-- true story. but-- one all it's own-- for a day i have more time. :))

ok folks-- i must go set my GPS and hopefully find my way.

for those who commented that she may have changed to a point of untrustworthiness
(did i spell that wrong?) -- anyhow-- nah. i'm not worried about that-- she's a twice a week church person. non smoker- non-drinker , non- party people type. can't get more trusty than that -- can ya?
anyhow. no turnin back now.
worst thing that can happen now is the soul clan might divorce me. -- or , well, maybe she'll knock out another tooth!

hope y'all have great days in your worlds today!

oh, and yes, i will take pix at the play-- but remember soulkid is crew-- i don't know if i'll get many- or any of her. :(( she is costume manager-- remember?

please pray that i don't get lost goin to the airport :))

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

today can only be better right?

mornin folks--

well, kinda. it's not even 3 a.m. yet. i've been up since 230. and awake every hour since i laid down. well, i should say every hour since i fell asleep-- which was around 9-ish. yes i am exciting. and don't you forget it. :))
actually, yesterday was a pretty busy day and i was damn exhausted. and just when i thought it was over-- it was a trick! i was all comfy in my jammies, just finished my beef-a-roni :)) , was all settled in and half way through a recorded dr. house from monday night. seems like forever since i've even seen house. wth happened? it hasn't even been on in like two weeks-- i finally get to see it... and my entire night goes to hell. i'll just say-- that i did a lot of runnin around, along with a lot of work here, then i had just got back from takin soulkid dinner to school @ 5:00, cuz she had rehearsal til "8". so i start to finally chill out --' til 8 ' -- or even better-- hoping soulman would go get her-- since we all know i can't drive in the dark. did that work out that way? well, of course not. there i am all chilled out-- and the dogs go berserk. sushi is the worst with that high pitched yap-- 8 out of ten times over nothing-- and seemingly all day yesterday-- over nothing. finally i get up to see WTH.. and there's soulman just standing at the front door-- glass i might add. talkin on the phone instead of comin in and shuttin the damn dogs up. so i go open the friggin door. he comes in and i'm ready to chew him out AND kick the dogs... but no of course i did neither.
hi honey.
well, soon as he walks in and hangs up-- MY phone rings-- it's soulkid-- at 6:30! ready to be picked up. dammit i was JUST there! but soulman did not want to go right back out after getting home from work. so i went. i was much more angry than i should have been, i felt like an ass. i got over it-- but i did go get her of course. and took her to get her hair primpy stuff. ooooh i was hateful. i tried not to be, and it didn't last long. but i was flippin tired, had a headache, and i watchin house, dammit.
ugh. but - obviously- i lived.
i've been on the verge of a stroke for a week. and sushi has been at the top of the list of reasons why- with her constant yapping. cats outside, squirrels, people walking by, kids playin in the next door back yard, the neighbor mowing the lawn. anything and everything sets her off lately... which leads to me being a bitch, and stressin out, and of course the notorious back and neck aches brought on by the stress.
ugh. i've been a constant bitch.
also i've been trying to get my house presentable for company. yes, i am actually having company. more of a house-guest. of sorts. my child-hood friend, i have known her since she was 4 and i was five. she's moving out here. she's gonna stay here til she gets a job. and then maybe on weekends. it's not all planned out perfectly yet.. but she does have a lot of job leads.. for live in daycare type stuff.
i haven't seen her myself in years. many years... like 15, or 14. am i nervous? umm yes, a little. i'm excited too though. it's just that i'm not who i used to be 'back then'. and she , i'm sure has changed too. she's a new empty nester, and many other changes in her life-- on top of a cross country move from california. a smaller town tho-- to HERE. it really isn't what she thinks it is. i think she faces a culture shock that she just may not be ready for. she will be here--- TOMORROW! she needs and willingly accepts prayer. for a nice, safe job... close to me. so i can get to her in a hurry if i need to. not just to help in a bind-- but geesh, it'd be nice to hang out or go to lunch once in a while-- she won't have a car-- she'll be responsible for peoples kids and house... she can't be workin in one of the towns i refuse to drive to-- like dallas-- and such. ya know. she needs to be close so i don't worry. she's like my little sister. she has to be close. bah!
oh-- also tomorrow-- guess what happens? soulkids school has their opening night of the play she has been workin on. it runs through the weekend. we all will be goin tomorrow though-- seein as i will be preppin for my gastro tests for monday on saturday and sunday. oh the joy. even that is stressin me out.
welcome to my home my friend... now excuse me while i spend the next two days in the bathroom. :(( ugh. then the following day and a half recovering.
you know you wanna be me. bwa hahahahah
part of me is worried what the doc may find-- like a bleed. but then , part of me feels like i usually do in these tests-- they will find nothing. and i will have no idea why i have these symptoms. anemia, weight loss, death look, stomach probs and pain, etc etc. ugh. always so irritating.

so anyhow-- that's what's goin on in my world lately. thrilling i know.
i can't believe how fast tomorrow crept up on me. looks like today will be another busy day. this place is nowhere ready for a 'guest'. i need help-- to get ready for my 'help'.

and have happy days in your worlds today-

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

LOOK what i got for you !!!

cats can be so awesome -- sometimes. when they aren't barfing all over your bed, or carpet. or scratching your furniture to death. or perhaps knocking all your nice, antiques or sentimental things off of shelves and running to hide as you stand there helplessly with your eyes closed tightly waiting for the imminent sound of irreplaceable shattering glass. ahhhhh. cats. yes. they are truly one of Gods most amazing creatures.
even through their destructiveness. you just have to appreciate their desire to please the hand that feeds them.

let me show you what i mean.
i know, many of you have seen cats do this before.
for those who haven't -
behold :

"oh my gosh - a snake!"
yes it's small - but the cat doesn't care.
it's a dangerous animal ! :))

"hey lady- let me take care of that for you."
- yes kitty, please do-

"damn, i'm the shiznit"
- yes kitty , you are. -

"hmm, perhaps i should finish him off."
- yes kitty, please do -

"hey lady! come out here, LOOK what i got for you!"
- ok, kitty, i've been watching , but you do deserve praise. -

"see what i did for you? thank you for feeding my family.
i'll be leaving you treats like this forever now.
just keep the food comin!"

aside from that? i have been workin my ass off all weekend long - well sunday and monday i should say. we've been emptying our storage bin. i've seen stuff i haven't seen in literally years. unfortunately, yesterday i came across some emotional things-- (pics of my son Patrick, and some of his things that i held on to). so needless to say, it pretty much wiped me out, and of course my back is payin the price as well.

so--- i have more sorting - puttin away- and other stuff to do .. hopefully i'll find some more recovery time in there as well.

i hope y'all had good weekends, and great weeks ahead of you!

later taterz

Saturday, November 7, 2009

i saw a falling star -- but forgot my own wish !

howdy y'all

oh lawdy-- not the underling. geesh. you know i hate that. and i bet y'all do too. know the weird part? i only notice it on mine and my sisters posts. WTH is up with that?
there's gotta be a way to make it STOP. (perhaps, moving down?)

TADA! it worked!

ok-- so anyways ... the title-- i really did see a shooting star. it was several nights ago. i'm so senile that it actually took like five whole seconds to even realize it was a shooting star. yes, i did feel stupid, thank you. when i did realize-- i told soulman,
"hey look, a shooting star!"
he said.. "make a wish!"
by then it was a mere ash the size of a fire-fly , but i did have my half a second left to make my wish -- so i did.
it wasn't til this morning , that i even remembered a thing about the entire experience-- and i think that was Halloween night. i really do wonder sometimes if my mind is on it's way out the door. i remember nothing. well.. short term mostly. but isn't that how it goes? the short term memory goes-- then it all goes? i seriously worry about altzheimers . i joke a lot -- but isn't that how a lot of folks deal with things?

how the hell did i go from wishing on a shooting star, to that?

i think i shall move on now.

i haven't forgotten what happened last night . do ya wanna hear about it? it was actually kinda funny--- which beats yesterdays post.

so, anyhow- we've been trying to get out and do stuff more together-- which usually ends up bein goin to the movies. it's something we all like to do, and can usually agree on. and one came out yesterday that we all wanted to see-- only for the fact that it had
THIS in it---

y'all know, i couldn't pass up a movie that was based around
MY number.

so. what movie was it?
it was THIS movie:

and i do NOT recommend it !
i don't think i would even say wait for the DVD.
i don't think it's worth watching at ALL!
and the only thing that sucked us into paying to see it?

but wait, there's more. :))
isn't there always? the theater we went to was one of those was that serve real food , and have real chairs. (know what i mean?) anyways, the chairs are similar to nice desk chairs. that's why we like to go there, cuz they are good for my back.. they kind of recline, they aren't attached etc. , and they sit up next to a long low bar type table thing. anyhow-
so anyhow...we get there, and there is nowhere left with three seats together. so the usher guy had a lady and her daughter-- maybe 12 years old, shift down, one seat... actually they added a chair, they merely had to slide over a little to make room. (yes, as a matter of fact, we were pretty embarrassed about the whole thing) -- but it gets even better. i already felt like we were causing a scene.. a chair being dragged in, us standing waiting, these people bein asked to move down, the entire schmele (?) --
but then--- the woman lets her displeasure be publicly displayed. not only embarrassing us further-- but herself, and surely mortifying her daughter as well.
how? well, she gets up, storms out, leaves her kid there.. then five minutes later, she comes whippin back in there in some kinda flippant "too good to sit near anyone " rage -- grabs her keys of the table , grabs her kid, and loudly says.. "we're leaving". then they storm outta there, as if, the entire theater should be offended, or feel bad that their night was disrupted.
ha! no one cared. some chuckled. there were a couple WTH's, and i just quietly said 'good for you'. soulman just looked at me dumbfounded, and soulkid had no idea what just happened---or why. i did feel a tiny bit bad -- but hey-- it wasn't that horrible for them.. they only had to move like 6 inches. after they were gone.. so were my bad feelins, and my embarrassment. she made me think of my mother. it was sooooo like something she would do. cause a scene, act like that-- like she owned the place, and was inconvenienced. how dare you. etc. oh lawd. i was glad they were gone actually.
just a few minutes after they left and everything settled down-- the movie started. i was just gettin comfy and settled in to watch-- what i thought would be a good movie-- and i swear to you--- every fifteen minutes for the first hour or more of the movie--- food kept coming. and coming. and coming! i began wondering if this woman was somehow text ordering food-- just to spite me. first it was cheese fries.
no-- they left.
then it was kids chicken strips-
no, they left.
then--- it was a mr. pibb...
no, maybe he ordered it-- i point to soulman. (nope)
next? frickin quesadillas!
NO-- i didn't order those!
yep-- i was gettin more and more peeved every time they came by-- i wanted to watch the movie. ugh. geesh. WTH. by the third time-- soulman was crackin up!
was i? NO-- i found NO humor in payin for a movie-- a bad movie no less-- that i was missing. for food -- and lots of it-- that i didn't even ask for.
oh but wait -- there was more-- only one more-- but this is when they finally got it--- i was NOT ordering food!!!!
"chicken wings ma'am?"
"i don't know a damn thing about no chicken wings!" (in my devil voice)
soulman laughed out loud-- soulkid was sitting between us--and i still heard him. i did finally see the humor-- which was good-- because if i didn't? i might have hit the next server -- just for good measure. good thing there wasn't one. :))
and, i spose it was good that it was a crappy movie. cuz i just couldn't believe how often it was interrupted by food i had no desire to eat. (and why me? -- oh.. cuz i was at the bitches end-- where 'she woulda been -- if she hadn't have left in a huff-- the whiney bitch. i bet i ruined her entire month. she'll be mad at me for weeks..and i will only laugh at her. what a dumbass.)

so anyhow-- there's my movie critique of the week-- save your money and go see the next on your list!

ok i'm gone-- today is chore day for me.
what are yeeew doin?
whatever it is -- have fun!

Friday, November 6, 2009

my eye is twitching !!!!!

ugh-- happy friday?

there's a link to some pretty updated news on this asshat.

well. no need to wonder what i'm gonna bitch about in this post, but i'll tell ya -- it sure aint about my idiot problems today.

surely by now, y'all have heard about what happened yesterday at Ft. Hood Army Base?
i am still in shock. from what i have heard so far? this entire thing could have been avoided. so much could be different. this maniac had a legal and military right to get out of the military as a conscientious objector .

that was my FIRST thought. 'if he was so against, or afraid, or whatever, about his upcoming deployment -- surely at his rank, he would know of the above option?
he was a F'N major in the ARMY !! even I knew about that and i left the service after 8 years. but i actually knew a 'kid' overseas when the first Gulf War started. he was bright enough to use the C.O. option to get out of the service, rather than to go into combat -- for whatever his ' personal reasons' were. but even a young 18 or 19 year old, knew he had a right to not be sent to combat in a war he was not willing to fight in.-- or be a part of. he was honorably discharged. no one had to die-- or crack up -- over his own decision, to be anti-war.

OMG. i'm furious. the more i hear about this 'Major Asshole' - i realize how much 'evidence' there was -- even in his military record, and evals -- not to mention his friggin suicide bomber ideals on his own blog pages-- SIX months ago!!
holy hell. what does it take for the upper echelon to SEE what is goin on in a sick mans mind??? he didn't try to hide it AT ALL.

i don't know peeps. but even on my worst day around here in soulland, i can't say i would ever trade places with any one of those folks yesterday. it helped me open my eyes and realize, once again... life aint so bad, when ya think about other folks , and especially our military right now. every single day-- we lose military -- here, and over there... just think of their friends, family, children, and comrades -- every day.

and this??? all because of some puss who was afraid to be deployed ? it could have been prevented. i hope "they" learn from this. if 'they' don't already do a psyche eval before deployment-- i really think they need to start .

pass the xanax please.

have happy fridays peeps-

and don't miss out on the little things :))

Thursday, November 5, 2009

so tell me am i realy crazy or do i just see 'sumthins'

howdy peeps --

the first part of this i'm stealin from part of an email i wrote last night. i'm just too lazy to re-write the same thing twice. of course "real" names were changed to protect the innocent :))


a few days ago, soulman was puttin the boat in the garage.. he has a key chain that splits in two-'detaches'. well, one side has only his truck key.. the other has everything else-- such as my car key--an electronic one, the house key, the storage key, PO box key, and another one or two. well.. he had the truck key in the ignition with the truck runnin... cuz he had backed the boat up into the garage -- but guess where the other half of the key chain was???? yep-- sittin on the rear bumper. well... soulkid was sittin in the truck impatiently waiting to go spend her report card money--- so him, bein the doting daddy-- forgot about the keys-- and off they went---- and yep --- LOST the keys.

in the mean-time, i have been a nervous wreck over these keys for days. almost a week.
knowing, that all someone-- with these keys in the wrong hands-- all they would have to do would be to drive-- or walk around, clickin my car keys until it beeped , and voila! they would know where i live-- and park. they would have access to my house, and my car. and US.

well, guess what? today--- soulman was at work, soulkid at school, me alone--with the critters-- and i'm sittin here payin bills and crap like that-- no tv or other noise on -- know what i heard??? yep.... my car beeped in the garage!!!!! did i freak out? absolutely!

i had no idea what to do though. i went out and checked the garage and my car though, and looked outside. nothin out of the ordinary-- except for the fact .. i don't lock my car when it's in the garage-- BUT -- now it was locked!

i had plans to run my errands and go to a dr appointment. instead , i hung out til i had no time left but to only go to the dr. so i could watch the house.

then, normally, we crate both dogs when we leave em alone.. this time i left EEVEE loose. remember- she's been trained in shutzhund.. she could rip someone to shreds if she wanted to-- like a police dog.

well... i went to my appointment.. left the dog out-- made sure i locked all the doors etc... picked up soulkid from school on my way home... when we got home-- i had her wait outside for a minute so i could check out the house before she came in-- i didn't tell her about 'someone' having our keys. -- well, i walked through the house-- everything was in place... but the dogs were a bit over excited -- and guess what?

my front door was UN-LOCKED! ugh! if i would have locked eevee in her crate they would have come in my house! she scared them enough that they didn't take one step inside-- i know cuz my laptop was only three feet in the door on my office coffee table.
i am so pissed off i could scream!

(the email ended there -- but to continue :)

so anyhow-- needless to say-- hubby stopped at the store on his way home from work and bought new locks-- and changed them out last night -- first thing.

i don't guess i have to say that a new lock or two doesn't make me feel real safe though. better. but not best. this is just unbelievable!
first-- we still.. live with the fear of the mover guy comin back here to rob us or do something stupid--- and now this. some asshole has MY keys. yes-- he has to get through the front door to steal my car--- actually he doesn't-- there is a pretty good sized window out there that two people could fit through-- now that i think about it-- someone make me STOP thinking! ... but anyhow.
if not for my dr appointment yesterday, i would have gone and bought a gun. yes you heard that right. me , the one who always bitches at hubby for even buying guns -- i always make him dismantle them, and lock them up where i don't know where they are. but yesterday? i called a place in town that is widely known for selling guns. for many many years i assumed that no one would, or could legally sell 'me' a gun. well, i found out different. they only do a 'criminal background check'. hmmm. i was wrong. whaddayaknow. seems i am wrong about a lot lately. and as for 'hospitals' ?
only if you have been put there by the police do they even know about it. hmmmm.
yup. my wheels were spinnin.
no-- i wasn't lookin to buy some high powered machine gun or anything-- just a small, cheap -- shoot someone in the leg if they came in my house type thing. the guy said they had a few that ran around 200 bucks. boy-- i was ready to run!
only thing stoppin me from my mission? i had an appointment. with none other than my shrink. :))
do you think i told her about my thoughts of buyin a gun? especially with 'my history' ? of course i did. i also told her why. and i also told her that i wasn't planing on telling hubby a thing about it.
surprisingly---? she didn't tell me not to. hmmmm.
i really thought she would be against it-- or at minimum -- tell me to tell hubby. she did neither.

but anyhow-- like i've told y'all before-- i'm too honest. i can't keep things like that from my husband. after he changed the locks, i did talk to him. i told him just how sick and tired i am of 'this' kinda crap happening to me-- us. how sick i am of not feeling safe -- especially in my own home! i was upset-- angry , and crying -- sort of crying.. just a tear or two-- i wasn't about to let go-- i may never stop crying once i start. not at this point. there's just way too much goin on in this life of mine.
--- example? -- my shrink rx'd name brand prozac yesterday... in hopes that it would work better than the generic shit i been on. i'm in a rut folks-- and i'm about to shop for curtains to hang in it.

anyhow. you're wonderin what hubby said about 'me' having a gun, aint ya?
well. he was much calmer than i thought he would be about the whole thing. he wanted to know why i wasn't gonna tell him. i told him-- i am telling you. but i was afraid you'd wig out.
well, he was ok about it-- mood wise-- anyhow. but he did make some valid points-- aside from the obvious. but one that even i hadn't thought of.
have any of y'all thought of it yet? cuz it only took him a second. my bed meds. and the stupid things i do in the middle of the night while 'on' them, that 9 times out of ten, i have no recollection of.
well--- that my friends was the clincher. i will not be buying a gun. i'm just not a person that should own, handle, have access to, or get to the point of shooting a gun.
i'm happy that he thought of that. because i had pretty much thought of every other scenario-- except shooting one of our animals, one of the soul clan, or one of soulkids friends -- on accident. ugh.
so-- his 'solution'? aside from changing the locks-- and recoding my car locks and keys?? an alarm system. which yes we put off on getting before when we thought the mover guy may come around.
but now-- who the hell knows what kind of people have my keys-- and tried to come inside yesterday???
i can't handle this shit guys.
i sure am glad we have eevee!

ok anyhow--
i'll keep this next part short--

in fact-- a picture post--
haven't done that in a while--

my sloppily made bed-
with my new duvet set!
lowsy pic- sorry
but it's nice-and the animals love it teeewww

my pretty flower bed :))
-with my now ugly window covering-
to hide from the bad guys :((


ok, here 'she' is
mamma kitty, with the black baby kitty
havin breakfast this morning

oh , but WAIT-
if mamma's up there-
then WHO is THIS?

OMGoshkness !

there's TWO of them !!!
so that explains why , the other day.
when i was holding mama kitty -
i saw BALLS!!!!

i was sooo confused!
til we found out there were TWO of them!
a BOY and a GIRL

i'm beginning to think maybe i aint so crazy afterall :))

have happy days in your worlds peeps

i'll be sittin here with a very sharp knife in my lap all day i'm sure.
(oh hush, i'm kidding)
i will be gettin alarm estimates tho.