Sunday, December 6, 2009

sunday spews and movie reviews

howdy peeps

greetings and salutations :))

sorry i haven't been around much lately. life stuff. you know how it is.
i been tryin to 'stay in today' lately. of course, those who know me well, know that i have a hard time doin that. especially this particular time of year.
actually -- i seem to have certain periods of the year that hit me quite hard.. almost like a quarterly thing. christmas of course, is one of those times. well, the holiday season actually.

i may as well spit it out, for those who don't know. "my story" is on here somewhere. maybe more than once. so i won't go into all the details of what happened. if you must know, you can do a search for jacob, and somewhere you will find his story.

so. anyhow-- he was to be 'induced', due to hubby being active duty navy at the time, and us having our -my- OBGYN, over 300 miles away. there's more to that reasoning-- but again.. it's on here somewhere-- long story short-- i swore to never trust another military doc with one of my children... and i didn't.

so-- jacob... my son, his birthday-- in order for hubby to arrange leave etc, and be sure he would be there etc-- would have been dec 9th, 1996.

that birthday never came.
and i/we have never had a 'normal' christmas' since then.

therefore--- i am -- for whatever reason. i don't know why 'now' is the time. but i have just been trying to ride the sane train. be in the spirit of christmas , and not fall into that black pit that seems to catch me every year at this time.

and ya know what y'all? i am doin pretty damn good. so far.
my shopping is very close to done. soulkid is my biggest deal, ya know.. and i am almost finished with hers - woo hoo! just a couple more things and some stocking stuffers.
then i have some things to get for soulman, and audrey, and of course my friends list-- which is usually small and easy. after that i am all done!
AND i finished my cards yesterday-- well i did my cards yesterday. a record breaking year. just cuz i felt like it. i never get as many as i send out-- but i will bet anybody-- this year? i don't get one for every ten i sent.
know what else?
i don't even care.
that isn't what any of this is about. it's about the way that God is allowing me to feel just a bit more free this year. y'all just don't know the weight i feel lifted off of me. i hope it doesn't sneak up on me. it does that sometimes. i just want this to be a happy christmas. it's one of soulkids last few at home as a kid. i just want her to remember it as a good one. ya know? that's all i want for christmas. ok , and a few other things :))

alrighty folks-- enough of the sappy shit--- on to my movie critique of the week.

that is what we went to see last night.

i don't really know what to say about it either. except that yes, it was a good movie. i have no complaints about the story, or the acting, etc. that was all fine and good.

my problem with it was personal. it was so sad. in parts. some places of course got a smile or a laugh. but others just made me want to cry. yes only want to. i never did let go. but most of you know i keep my guard up a lot. but -- if i would have allowed myself? i woulda cried like a baby.

the movie may not be like that for most of you folks-- i'm sure it's just a PTSD thing. i know-- i shouldn't joke about stuff like that. but really--- it had a lot of 'triggers' in it for me. and as for my SISTER -- little tid bit here-- i advise you do NOT watch it.

everyone else? maybe you'll like it-- maybe you won't. i guess it depends on how much trauma you have suffered. bleh. it really is good. and worth watching. but i say wait for the DVD. maybe go see a comedy or a Christmas flick. this is a sad movie. and this isn't the time of year to be watchin sad movies. right?

so anyhow--- y'all go do somethin fun with the families or peeps today-- enjoy the people you love-

see ya round folks