Wednesday, May 20, 2009

to fish , or not to fish, that is the question

i got nuthin today -- or yesterday either. i'm blogless. i've just been busy-- and y'all know what comes after busy for me, right? yup--- recovery. a state of vegitatation. which obviosly doesn't leave me with much to talk about -- or blog about. lots to whine about i'm sure. but, that obviously gets tiresome -- for all of us, me included.
but i still try. to keep you updated, and even sometimes, entertained. i'm afraid i'm failing at both lately.

i did manage to complete the rom of doom last night-- i can't believe how fast i got it done. i thought it would take days. well... techincally it did take 2 days.. but it was actually about three hours the first day, and maybe an hour or an hour and a half last night. so if my back wouldn't have gone out on me it woulda been done the first day.
i'm quite proud of myself for that task. everyone else was afraid to touch sat locked down for months. i was refusing to do it out of protest-- due to the fact that i did it ;ast time--only for it to resemble the same hell pit in less than a week! this time soulman said he would do it "before she got out of rehab"- but he never got to it. and since she got out -- he works all day, then takes her to a meeting -- or somewhere else almost every night-- so it's always "i haven't had tiiiime". and you know-- to even attempt to tell her to do it-- ha! that's just funny. the room she lives in now-- looks the same or worse than the one i just finished. i refuse to do it. i told her she's gonna lose her bedframe first-- so she can't stuff everything under it-- then if i find she's stuffin crap in the closet it will be nailed shut-- thennnn, if she crams shit in the dresser? it goes next. she won't have anywhere else to shove stuff. and will be forced to learn to clean. how a person does not know how to clean is simply beyond my reasoning.
sure, i get lazy-- for a day or two. or i get tired or sore-- for a few days... but really that is all i can stand. and when i clean.. i clean. i don't just find holes to shove shit in. what is up with THAT??
someone call me a supernannny!

so anyways. this weeks weather has been wonderful, and i have spent it working. and recovering. one of these recent days after working in the kids room, my back was out-- i laid in bed at four and didnt get up til the next morning. ugh.i definiely should have fished this week by now. it won't be long before i'm cryin about not goin. i really should save the cleanin and crap for a bad weather day. call me anal.
i'm just set on gettin started on this place. and i was thinkin.. even if we have to stay here another month to pack, or find a place.. or finish up--or close on a house-- or whatever-- i can't waste time on a hunch. things could fly through. there's a chance we could be ready to get out of here by the 1st of july. if that happens and we've been sittin our thumbs. then we're screwed. so -- it's work work work.
when i ever have a deadline in anything-- i just get a sense of urgency-- or panic, and i just can't help myself but to go wild, and i get monofocused.

so anyhow--- what else-- aha-- we have food in the house-- that's a good feelin. we were down to nothin. i hate it when that happens. and hubbys diet makes it hard for me to shop now too. so i kinda dread it even more. can't get this, have to get that, blah blah blah.

oh speakin of his diet-- i'm jealous, as i sit here getting fatter by the second for no reason.
he was in the kitchen the other night, helping soulkid get something to eat. a couple seconds later she comes runnin in my room lauging..

"omg , mom, dads pants just fell off !!! all the way to the floor ! LOL"
i said .. OMG-- did you see anything? LOL...
she said , no, thank God.. i would have been scarred for life!"

god we laughed about that. how funny.
in a way it's good though-- not only does he need new pants, but even a new belt now. i'm jealous. i wanna lose my extra baggage teeewww.

hmmmmmm.... what else???
why do people find it neccessary to move magazines? i have magazines that i didn't read the first time around-- and now i want to pack them. wth. all they do is gather dust.
and printers that i don't use.. that may even be broken.. hell if i know... i just can't part with them... "i may need them someday"
paid bills--- bulky unneccessary papers-- millions of them... can't part with them tho-- WHYYYY??? tell me whyyy.
i have boxes of crap like that that i just keep on haulin around ...
does anyone else do that?? well.. i bet no one else moves every other year. do you?
i'm so sick of moving. this next move better be the last. every move we make takes about five years off my life.

oh hell.. how could i forget this-- soulkids TB test was negative, just like i thought. but of course they had to scare the crap out of me to get there. first, the lab gal looks at it. hmmm... she decides she needs a second opinion, so she gets another lab gal... then she says she isn't sure either-- cus it's a little red... she's gonna go get the dr. to have a look. ugh. i don't think i've held my breath that long in a while. so then the dr. comes in , and has a look, rubs it. presses it. blah blah. oh it's fine, it's not raised, no bump. it's negative. (SIGH) (exhale) -- ugh. i was pretty sure it was negative anyhow-- but i hate it when they play head games like that.
as far as the other blood work , it's not back yet. it was testing for anemia, hypoglycemia, and stuff like that..maybe diabetes too. not tb. but i'll let y'all know if anything shows up.

so. i got to talk to angie on the phone for the first time yesterday. that was cool. we were just trying to decide on the timing, and what we were gonna do while she is here. things are still up in the air. that tends to happen when ya gots kidz. so we're waitin on those arrangements to get settled before we set our dates in concrete. i can already tell we're gonna have a blast while she's here. whether we work or not.

so anyways-- that the deets in soulland for now-- anything is subject to change at any given moment--
like the fact that i was backwards on the new carpool arrangements-- i am the after school ride - not the to school ride. bummer. but yesterday and today-- i am both. lovely.
can y'all believe that school is almost OUT?? ugh. i can't. i think summers for kids outta school is just too long. too much time for their little minds to wander. my kid got in so much trouble last year. omg...i dread this one. i'm still not comfortable letting her hang out all night at other kids houses all night-- or even for an afternoon.. or to go to a concert-- or anywhere really. but i can't sit on her for three months. i can see it's gonna be a stressful summer. maybe getting and decorating a new house will help her, having a new focus??? i hope so.

ok, i'm rambling.. so i shall shut thy mouth