Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Just drinkin my coffee

Mornin peeps.  Yep, i am aware.  I just might be talkin to myself, but just in case... Good morning, anyhow.  
It has once again been been a short lifetime since i have posted here.  Not for lack of wanting to... More for lack of anything to say here.  
There was actually a period of time that my life got quite full, busy, and very happy.  For a while.  I was busy with going to dog traing traing ... All the way out to Dallas! Sometimes as much as 3-4 nights a week .. With Chewie !  I also had made a few friends that i was spending time with.  I had a real life.   For a while.   Then, as it seems to happen in my world... It all came to a screeching halt.
Hard to believe, i know.  But it really did.  And when life slips away from me like that?  Well.... I .. Slip away from me too.
I'm sure this was all a slower process than it seems.. But it feels like it all happened overnight, and left me standing all alone in this world.  Once again.
I thought it started in December.. When my Service dog Chewie had surgery.  For Cherry eye.. And a spay.  It was earlier than that.  I had got very sick in the beginning of December. On the 4 th and went to the hospital by ambulance, then was admitted for four days... Of course for some freaky Brenda illness.  The Soul Syndrome.  The day before that started, i had gone to the VA hospital for what i thought was gonna really help me.  A intravenous once a year vitamin D treatment.  WOW. even now, i wonder if that is really what they put in me.  I was in excruciating pain before bedtime...and in the back of an ambulance by sunrise.
By the time i recovered...Chewie had surgery....by the time she recovered? It was after Christmas!
Friends?  They had forgotten about me... It was too cold for my blood to go back to dog training... Even just to watch, and visit friends.  Uuuuggghhh.
It was actually october when i had begun isolating from friends tho... And would you believe i did that FOR a friend ?!!!! Ugh.  Someone was rude to a friend of mine... I defended them... And i am the one who suffered for it.
Anyhow.  Here it is... APRIL .. I am agoraphobic as ever. I rarely go anywhere, see anyone, or speak to anyone.  And my dog is about to have another surgery.  Yup.. For hip dysplasia.  Double hip dysplasia.  This is the first place i have written that.  Anywhere in public.  I don't know how i'm gonna pay for it.  It will cost thousands of dollars.  I need to learn how to 'fundraise'. I can't let my dog die over this.

There ya have it... Not much of a post... But i decided i would write rather than turn on the TV this morning.

I'm still here