Monday, June 16, 2008

oops ..... i did it again -

hi folks---

(first off -- i ended up with my "reply" in the comment box below, being a small post -- yet again, cuz well -- y'all know --- i can't shut up sometimes. )

but anyhow--- i've been thinkin... about my posts lately. they kinda suck don't they. that's a statement really. not so much a question. you can agree or not. but i know they do.

that isn't so much what i've been thinkin about-- but what my thoughts brought me too. ya know? i mean.... i have had so much happen here over the last few weeks that my head is going to expload, or fly clean off my shoulders. it just can't possibly hold much much more.

i used to come in here and just write whatever i had on my mind. this was where i wrote anything and everything i had on my mind. it didn't matter to me whether it was politically correct or not. i didn't care if it was offensive or not. i cussed, i talked about God, and politics, and sex, and my daughter, whether she was a brat or an angel at the time, i talked about my husband whether he was an ass or prince charming. i had no problem mentioning the fact that i have more than physical problems. i dumped my guts here-- and that is where they stayed.

then one day--- i felt judged, and i felt condemned, and less than --- because people started to say i cussed to much. even a family member-- no one any of you know-- but she said, she didn't like to read here because of language. --- so what did i do? i began to censor myself .

i would get comments about how to discipline my child --- from people who raised their kids in the age of
' spare the rod spoil the child" -- well i do know that's true-- trust me.. but i have more than one reason that i dont hit my kid. but one of them is that she was raised in the age of spare the rod-- or your ass will be hauled off to jail, and your child will be hauled off to foster care.
would beatin her ass have worked better than time out, or arguing? hell ya it would have. you just can't do that these days.
but trust me... kids are different when raised after like 1990... in my opinion... just look around.
it's not just me who has these problems. even y'all who did raise kids you could hit through age 13 and 14-- the hell years-- they still made made you wonder where YOU went wrong.
BUT what did i do here???
well -- what do i TRY to do? oh hell... do my best to only write the good stuff.. sift out the best of the worst . not to try to make her look good..... but at least don't make her look bad. cuz she isn't bad. she's 14.

then someone commented that "you might be crazy" hmmph i didnt know how to take that. i didn't know if it was a joke -- or serious. just didn't know .

but , ya know-- my world here is very small... my world is right there-- me, soulman and soulkid-- and of course there's smocha and jamie. and that my friends is my world. i can't a whole lot about jamie and smocha... their stuff isn't mine to write about-- unless i write about a visit.
sooooo... when i feel i have to censor my language, try not to complain, have the perfect marriage, and the coolest kid in town... well...
when the shit hits the fan... guess what peeps---y'all get left with fish pix, and photo posts.

and i get left with well... i don't know. a lot of crap in my head, and a blog that has about 500 deleted pages. and a whole lot more i never wrote - or write--because "someone " might be offended" -- or judge me.

and ya know--- that really kinda upsets me. not in an angry way. it's just that -- well... i don't know. i spose it's just that i get judged enough as it is. i don't need to hear it here too.

so--- enough of that
whatever the hell THAT was---

yesterday for daddy day--- we got soulman a fishin lure he's wanted for a long time, but would never buy himself.
then we went to IHOP
then to cabelas
then came home
and chilled
i took a nap-- cuz i was runnin on like 3 and a half of sleep--and gettin quite bitchy
then i woke up and we -----ok he-- smoked chicken on the egg
then we chilled some more---each doin our own thing
then it was bed time.

no fishin yesterday-- soulkid hates to fush and souldad wanted to be with her-- besides that it was 100 + degress. ugh. texas hell here lately.

but-- here is a little fishy i caught the other day
saturday-- at a pond i never been to-
a place where there is like 4 ponds-
a nature center-
i fished this small one while hubby tied his rigs on.

he said "there's no fish in that one-- hahahahah
i caught two !
here's one
small- but i got him.

(you can click to make it bigger- i just didn't want it big on here)

so anyhow---

hope you all have happpy days in your worlds today
i'm workin on it-