Friday, July 18, 2008

in todays soul-news

nothin exciting at all.

unless ya wanna include lookin like this:

- no, not like a man-
like a fool !
with all the gadgets attached to his face-
well, MY face.
i think it's some kind of "level" , like the tool.
to show how off balance you are i guess. :))
i had to ask him (the PT guy)
how can you not laugh at people with this on them?
he said he was used to it-
but i think i couldn't help myself- i would have to laugh -
it looks sooooo stupid-
and yes, i felt very stupid wearin it.

so anyhow--
that was just for a few minutes,
and i had to do the turning and twisting
and gettin mashed on and pressed on
all that painful stuff

then after that i had to do a couple exercises--
neither too strenuous-
but one bein
this :
-except i was sittin on the edge of a bench-
NOT on the floor like that

and the other one was
like a bike- but usin your hands/arms -
it was actually harder than it looks-
maybe not if you don't have pain-
in your back, neck, shoulders,
and just about everywhere else-
but in that case--
i only lasted two of the three minutes i was supposed to go.
can we say wuss?
i was sooo ashamed of myself-
but hey- it hurt-
what was i sposed to do-

so anyhow--- i go 11 more times in the next month or five weeks- or somethin like that--
then they will re-evaluate me-- if it is doin any good they'll decide if i should keep goin for a while-- and if it isn't doin any good- decide if i should continue- or quit. etc etc etc. you know the drill.

good thing about the first visit?? i don't have to pay a dime out of pocket--
woo-hoo ! bout time the damn insurance pays off . they've done nothin but screw me over for the last two or three years--- but somehow-- i guess with my deductible paid, for some reason, i have a certain amount for this type of stuff that i don't have to pay per year.
strange-- but hell, i'll take it-
i expected a high dollar co-pay today.
so i was pleasantly surprised.

and now?
i must go to bed.
i have been tired most of the day, but even when i did try to take a nap earlier--i just laid there and couldn't sleep. dunno why---so i went fishin. but didn't catch anything. dunno why for that either. cuz hubby got two or three. i got bites, just couldn't get the fish. dammit.
so. i'm gonna try to sleep again.

somethin else i failed to do today???? my damned kitchen. i'm gonna set this place on fire if i don't get it done tomorrow. but i will-- i say i WILL-- :)) -- get it done tomorrow.

goo-night y'all

another day in soul-land

howdy folks--
told ya i'd be here--sooner or later-- it's later-- but here i am.
i cannot believe how boring i have become. and it's not even just on the blog-- it's everywhere. i'm just -- well, ugh. i don't even know. just not with it kinda person lately. not sure what to do about that-- or obviously it woulda been done by now. but hey-- i'm tryin, all kindsa different things-- to get back to my old self-- i guess i just haven't found out what it is i need to do-- yet.

i've tried extra meds-- for extra sleep---
which for the last few nights seems to help-
i'm up late--- but seem to sleep later than normal too- some days as late as 7 !!
that hasn't happened in years!
but then i'm hungover in the day--
and accomplish zilch!

so tell me--
which is worse?
little to no sleep-
or too much sleep, and being comatose in the daytime??
i just can't win.

regardless, mornings are rough either way-
whether i sleep or not-
i am an awful bitch for the first couple hours of every day lately.

i may as well include
aaalll day--
every day.

i'm almost certain that much has to do do with my lack of energy.
which leads to my lack of accomplishment-
which leads to my house becoming and remaining a pig-sty-
which makes me depressed-
and angry-
because no one seems to want to help me get caught up-
and the constant worry of the worsening PILEAGE -
thoroughly exhausts and depresses me-
then gives me headaches and even more pain from added stress-
and the cycle continues-
until i simply verbally attack anyone in sight-
for what seems to them "no reason-
when in reality-
it's a week or two of built up rage. :))

sooo- who wants to "visit" for a couple days??

not sure if i mentioned it-
but a few days ago-2 maybe??
can't remember--
but i did manage to get caught up on a few things-
one being wally hell!
spent over 200.00 on friggin groceries---
only to decide that i still cannnot manage to clean the fuckin kitchen--
which also means
i cannot cook in there either.
so-- what's that mean?

YEP- you guessed it---
still goin out-
well, last night anyhow.
the night before we ate junk food for diner that didn't require cooking-or dishes.
last night- we took the kid to the mall..
and hubby and i- dropped a hefty 50-- on damned dinner.

just kill my irresponsible self.

so anyhow----
if my damn kitchen doesn't kill me ,
these friggin peein, pukin cats will-
we still haven't decided to keep- or dismiss spot yet.
you know- she's been with us since she was born-
so has jitterbug-
we can't just dispose of her-
but ugh-
i can't stand all these animals destroying my house.

so ---anyways---
my plan of the day for today??
i must clean my kitchen--- if nothing else--
top to bottom, including the fridge and floor-
or i will have a stroke-
or jump offa bridge-

i have physical therapy-- yep cheryl--you remembered :))

i'll let y'all know how that goes--
the appt is at 3-- 2:45 for the dreaded paperwork-- you know how that goes.
i hope they don't hurt me.

hoping you all have happy days in your worlds today-
i know some of y'all are havin a rough go of it---
but i do hope that takes a break- at least for a day-
it's friday-
we all deserve a good day once in a while-
why not make it today