Tuesday, January 8, 2008

how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat??

why in the hell does this thing always want to type in bold? or it wants to underline, or do some other weird thing... that i don't tell it to do??? am i just stupid or somethin? don't answer that. or if you do, lie. :))

anyhow-- i suppose we shall deal with bold text this time.

(it doesn't even look bold after posted--how stupid)

and a somewhat random post i'm guessin as well. because i am blank as a new sheet of paper. it is 340 in the damn morning and i have already been up for more than an hour. i woke to midnight choking. i thought she might be having a seizure. she wasn't. she was just chokin. on what , i have no clue. i petted her, and she layed back down, and i tried to go back to sleep... but she kept doin it-- a couple more times, so i just got up with her, and took her out here to get her some water. she did drink some, and hasn't choked since, so maybe she had somethin in her throat? i don't know.
but anyhow, i wasn't able to go back to bed...didn't even bother to try.

as for midnight--and i know, for those of you who have been around a while - i know you have heard me say this a dozen times --- but here i go again. i think she really is on her last leg. i am actually surprised she made it thru december . (oh btw-- for the new folks, if you haven't figured it out yet, midnight is my extremely old lady lab) - anyhow, a few nights ago- maybe friday night.. i think she had a stroke or a seizure. at least that's what the vet said the first time she showed the symptoms she was having. but when i took her to the vet that time, it costed a lot of money-- and they really did nothing FOR her, so the few times it has happened since, i just watch her for a few days, and so far she has bounced back pretty good. this time , it's not looking as good. the other day, she wouldn't wake up. she always-- always.. wakes up when i do. it doesn't matter if it is 2 a.m. or 6 a.m - if i get up- she gets up with me..and is usually somewhat energetic and ready to go outside. and these are the times that she doesn't wake me up panting or dancing, or licking me in the face to let her out. well, the other day-- you know my damn memory- friday am, sat? thursday/ hell i don't know, but just a few days ago--- she didn't wake up til.. maybe... maybe... ten??? ish. i checked that dog two , three, four, times maybe to make sure she was at least breathing. she was of course. but when she did finally get up, she was very lethargic , and short tempered with the other animals-- which she usually takes a lot of crap from. especially sushi. stupid sushi will jump in her face and nip at her all day long and she just shakes it off.... but she got pissed ... for a couple days.. she would bark mean at her, and let her know, she did not wanna be touched. and she slept... alot. and her eye was hanging. where you could see the red part. it's really sad to see her that way. she does look better as far as her eye goes. but she is still lethargic and sleepy. and clingy. she wants to be near me. that really is nothing new. she always wants to be by me anyhow. but like a sick kid ya know? just clingy-er. so, we are worried. soulkid knows, and hubby asked if i thought she would make it much longer, and i said, no, not this time. i don't know if it will be weeks, or months.. but at this point, it just isn't fair. it really hasn't been for many many months. it will be hard to let her go. and i don't know if it will be natural or not-- i really hope it could be. for all our sake... but either way. it will be like losing a part of our family. she's been with us since soulkid was two. maybe even younger. hell i dont know. but at least, eleven years. now that i think about it... it has been longer than that. anyhow. long time. i have never in my life had an animal this long. we have had the cats their whole life-- but i literally have no idea how damn old they are. isn't that stupid? i really cannot keep track of time. someone asked me how long i have been sober THIS go round.... i said, oh maybe four or five years... i realized-- for whatever reason.. i think by looking at some med records.. it has been over seven years... it's like i just wander through life and time just doesn't mean anything. each day just runs into the next.... it is pretty strange. like fishing yesterday...for some reason, i think.. hmmmm i posted that i hadn't fished in over four months... then i remembered that we had taken Jamie and her H there in October... so even if that was the last time i fished..which it could have been , hell if i know-- but it has not been four months. WTH?
i just cannot seem to get it together. but i sure do try ya know it? i really do.
i busted ass in my house yesterday btw. got my floors all swept up and the new rugs laid out etc. washed my blasted dishes. y'all know i HATE to wash the friggin dishes.
got some crap that was still not unpacked out of my damn way in the kitchen..and put up. or boxed for goodwill. etc. i was proud of the place yesterday. and i still had time to fish..i only fished about half an hour..did good for a short time eh?
then i got home, cleaned myself up... then i posted, and started dinner... etc.
that's when the damn cable/internet guy showed up. OMG... he was here til , had to be after 7..and STILL didn't have internet workin. he DID get the tv to work tho. by then it didnt matter. i was sooo dang tired.. i left and went to my room. they were still here at 8.. i think i was asleep by 830..and as far as i know i think they were still here. the last thing i remember was hubby tellin me the internet was still not workin and probably wouldnt be (today), but they were coming back today.. sooo i was surprised to see it connect when i got up. i gotta say i was glad it did. wth would i do at 230 a.m. without internet. ugh.

so anyhow... i guess that is my post filled with random crap for your tuesday.

oh and motha.. soulkid got scoulded cuz she is not doing well in school...yet again. WTH???
why does an intelligent kid let somethin like that happen????
i tell ya what-- if she goes to summer school THIS year-- i will NOT be driving her. she can ride the BUS. one hour a damned day and 200.00... for screwin around???? UGH.
it infuriates me.

hmmmm. ok.
inhale. exhale.
i love to smoke.
:))

happy day to all of you

22 comments:

Jamie said...

I'm so sorry about Midnight, I so know how that is, and it hurts. You will know when the time is right, and yes, it would be better if you didn't have to make that decision, but that would be hard, too.

You certainly are chatty for three am, you are getting to be like me, oh no! All good girls should be sleeping. Ha!

You are making the rest of us look bad, btw---all the cleaning and cooking, good heavens!

Have a good Tuesday!

xo

Anonymous said...

yeah bout midnight..upsetting and not something we like to think about..but go with your instincts and everyone will be at peace with your decision i am sure. hmmm..maybe the internet guy is really stupid..worse than your bold type i should think :) :)
soul kid well..what can i say..might be just a phase. my friend's daughter here is a little bit older..same thing..not doing well at this point and time.. hopefully she will snap out of it as well.. good luck!

SOUL said...

mornin jaimster-- :))

makes me think of hamster LOL-- maybe not a good thing to call you...

anyhow... yes i know. it is so hard to make this decision. you know i don't want to. but she just can't keep on like this. and we all know it. it isn't fair to her-- or us.
but when she has her "good" days.. it makes it so much harder to think of puttin her down. but then she'll go and cry -- or sleep or somethin for two days.. i just don't know what to think anymore.

anyhow. i know you know how it is.

and yes, i noticed-- i did write a lot for that time of day-- guess there's not much else to do but think--or write at that hour eh?
geesh.

nah.. not makin anyone look bad-- people do that stuff every day.. it was like a miracle for me to actually cook a meal and clean.. more than ONE room around here. i was pretteee damn exhausted for it tho--- but reallly hard work pays off. the place looks good , and soulkid loved the dinner--of course it was chicken! :))
(jerk chicken..it really was good) but i ate mine cold.. in my bedroom..cuz the cable guy was here.. hubby walked around sneaking a bite at a time.. poor guy. )

anyhow... here's a whole nother post-- in my box-- better than your box i spose eh?

ttyl
0x

SOUL said...

hey yankee--- yep-- i'm fixin ta strangle a few cable people.. ERG
and it pisses me off. but oh well.. she is the one who will suffer for it.

and soulkid.. no i am afraid it is not a phase-- if it was a phase-- last year would have been the end of it-- this is sheer stupidity on her part--(i don't mean dumb.. i mean she is gonna fail the 8th grade cuz she is screwin around)...
maybe it is time she learns she must pay consequences..and mommy and daddy can't always bail her ass out of trouble.
ugh

anyhow
i hope you have a good day
laterz

Jamie said...

and I don't eat meat, and I still want pudding, so now what?

SOUL said...

ummmm...
welll.....
if you go fishin with me, i spose i'll compromise. :))

Mary said...

I'm so sorry that Midnight isn't doing well. It is heart breaking when a faithful companion nears the end. When my son's dog "crossed the rainbow bridge" we were lost without her.

I'm sorry to say this but, yes, you will have to get tough with soulkid. It's not easy and she will balk at every step. If you are consistant and firm she'll come around. Just remember who's the parent and who's the kid. I guess I sound bossy but don't mean to. It's the voice of experience talking. Hope I don't offend you, I say the above with love.

Rebecca said...

Morning, Soul. Sorry to hear about your lab :( I, too, hope it is natural. We've had cats for years and years. In our house, they all seem to last about 17 or 18 years. We buried one nearly 2 years ago who we'd had since early '89. Still with us are Tilly (13) Chumley (8ish) and Jeffrey (5ish). My husband has told me no more cats, it's just do damned hard.

Glad you house is coming together, and you had time to fish. I image some down time is very much needed!

RE: Soul kid. Man, I totally understand. We have grounded Chris from video games until June unless he is on vacation. Weekends included. Next is DVDs, I can see it already. Progress reports come out this month...

Happy Tuesday.

Rebecca said...

LOVE floyd, btw :)

Dave said...

PINK FLOYD... THE WALL... WE DON'T NEED NO EDUCATION! My life's song for my career as a teacher! LOL

I always tell the teachers I work with that this is my favorite song... ticks off those stuffy teachers!

Sorry you have been having such a muddled time..Hopefully you can straighten things out... especially with you lab.

I hope that the first part of this comment made sense to you or anyone else for that matter. If not... yell at me and I shall explain! LOL :-)

Golden To Silver Val said...

Sorry about Midnight; my daughter has a black Lab who is 12 so I know we will be going through much of the same soon. There just is no easy way to deal with it. We love them and they leave us. I've lost a few in my lifetime, be sure.
As for Soul-kid...you may have to use the old "earn your privileges" routine. These kids do not (and don't care to) understand just how much it costs to educate them. We are in the middle of a horror story with my grandson over just this type of thing. Start monitoring her closer and check her homework every night and it better be done...or else no cell phone. (or whatever she loves to do). Its not gonna be easy and she'll "hate" you for it now...but later on, she will understand and love you for it. (teenagers are such a lot of work...but it only lasts for 7 years LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL). Good Luck, Charlotte.

Portia said...

Oh, Soul, I'm so sorry. It is one of the hardest things to face. I think it's the only reason we don't have a pet right now. Sometimes it hurts to love that much.

...and was that title a rhetorical question?

:)

Mark said...

Hope your day got better!

The Real Mother Hen said...

It's always sad when a pet gets old :(

You do sleep pretty early, and wake up pretty early too :)

Blur Ting said...

Oh dear, I didn't know Midnight is so old. It's really sad that dogs cannot live as long as we do. They're such a big part of the family (sometimes more so than our real family members) and I really hate that they have to go so fast.

SOUL said...

thanks everyone for caring about midnight--and us.

and soulkid...oh that girl is gonna kill me.
that's about the plan here charlotte--

love em and they leave us--how true--sounds kinda like kids too huh.

p-- ya gotta take that risk at some point when ya have kids. :))

i know motha.. sometimes i'm up late.. but not for a while. i been goin to bed early cuz i get worn out and sore that i just can't take it anymore. so i just go to bed. it feels better to lay down than sit up.

anyhow-- i shall see you folks tomorrow..

ohhh.. a rhetorical question? huh?
:)))
perhaps.

EE said...

It looks like you're starting to keep my hours, Soul!

SOUL said...

i guess so.. altho last night was about a 10-4 shift i think? and you? :))

CRUSTY MOM-E said...

{{{{{MIDNIGHT!! REST WELL LITTLE doggie!!}}}}

Soul, I know how upsetting this is...I hope you're holding up..that's the one reason why I fear getting a doggie...because of having to say goodbye..

shit.

ALways,
Crusty~

SOUL said...

ya, well crusty-- this dog has pulled thru many health crises .. more than we ever expected she would.

i am more ready to let her go than hubby at this point i think.
but he has different reasons for that.


have a good day today--

desert dirt diva said...

you have to pay for summer school?wth.. thats nuts...

SOUL said...

DD- that's what i say-- but there is no state tax here-- so it has to come from somewhere right???
ugh.
she better just pull her ass through, that's all i gotta say about that.
:))