i'm in hell !!!

well, earlier today, i thought hell had frozen over. but that was then. at like 2:30 or so.. when i got home from lunch.
yep-- i actually got out and socialized--- surprised eh? well, i went and met Jlee for lunch and then coffee at Starbucks. we've met a few times now. always a good time. it's kinda funny now. we are both pretty shy, and our first couple times meeting we were a little nervous , but really didn't have any trouble talking together or anything. but now, it goes along pretty smoothly. we haven't had an opportunity to get a picture before , but today i brought my camera-- of course the wind was blowing.. so we can't brag about our hair-- but it's not like I ever can. :))
so here we are , sitting outside at Starbucks --- (take 4 btw -- I am so NOT photogenic. Jlee looked really good in every shot-- I on the other hand, looked like a double chinned llama ! :))

(Jlee /Soul)

(even in the best of the worst-
i look like a double - chinned llama !)
but- we had a good time anyhow.


SO anyhow-- where was i ??

ahh, yes...

i got home somewhere around 2:30 ish. to find a A/C van in MY parking space in my driveway.
hmmm. i wasn't expecting them today, but i must say , i was a bit happy to see them.
i wasn't sure "who" they were at that time, because i hadn't seen that particular van yet. so i went inside, and asked hubby about it-- turned out-- it was the guys that stole my flashlight. terrific. *SIGH*. i then asked if they called first. he of course said "NO". neither of us like that. we like to have the animals put up-- it is a morbid fear of ours, since chicklet got run over, that one of the animals will get out.
so anyhow-- when the opportunity presented itself-- i confronted the guy-- with the cast-- and asked-- "did you happen to accidentally take my flashlight from the attic last time you were here" ? he looked all innocent and silent for a minute-- i firmed my tone a bit-- i wasn't mean or challenging.. just askin, ya know... but now, i was a little bit like-- (i KNOW you took it asshole-- give it up) ya know? so i say "it's yellow, and square.. it was by the ladder..in the attic..????""""" so he says... " i saw it in my van, maybe my guy, he took it, on accident."".. " i will ask him""// "yes, you do that"

so.. he goes back out. they came in and out a dozen times over the next hour or so... didn't say another word to either of us.




in the meantime... it just keeps gettin hotter-- and hotter-- and freakin HOTTER. we were friggin sweating! stickin to the leather damn couch. making me hate on the soul =- chairs. wishin we never bought them in the first place. ugh.

(who wants a good deal on some soul chairs???
tell ya what i'm gonna do !
:))

86.3 °F / 30.2 °C Clear

so, maybe at like 3:15 -ish-- just out of curiosity -
i check the weather channel online --
yep -- 86 damned degrees ---
surely it was 96 inside !
and we were feelin every bit of it !

soulman got lucky, and got to work the night-shift tonight-
in the air conditioned building -

because -
YEP
you guessed it-
not long after he left, at like 3:45 or so,
the guy -- with the cast --
comes inside, and says -
" we don't have all the parts,
we will have to come back tomorrow."

OMG !!!!
that man is lucky i didn't go mental on his ass !
i could have ya know?
all hot and bitchy and already not likin him much.

so anyhow-- after they left, me and soulkid went to a few stores,
just to cool off for a while.

we went and got her new eye glasses,
went and returned a camera case i got that was too small,
and went to target for a while.
now we are back.. and it's really not much cooler than it was when we left.
and, i am not very happy.
and, it's dinner time.. and i really don't think i will be lighting the stove tonight.
soooo. wth does that mean???
cereal? mcdonalds? i oughtta send the landlord all the restaurant bills for this passed week !

somebody help meeeeeee

is it ME- or am i cursed???

howdy peeps----

yep-- late again.
i finally got some sleep-- unfortunately-- it almost made soulkid late for school... and screwed up my entire morning routine. but i spose that's alright-- cuz we all survived. so far. but it does feel like a monday-- even though every day is about the same around here for me.

i have a lot on my to-do list today---

and also-- my damned taxes really must get finished. there's just a couple things that need to get slapped on the 07 one and it can be fired off on the computer----
BUT--- 2006 --- UGH. STILL not done. we have to find a place to take them to. we have got two estimates-- both extremely ridiculously HIGH. one "maybe 200.00 -is" the other could be "almost 300.00 ish"

it's crap, i say.
but it must be done-- lest we go to jail. that would not be good :((
and we don't know how to do that year ourselves-- or obviously it would be done. right.
it's a 1099 though, and no matter how hard we try we just don't "get it"...so we gotta get it turned in somewhere-- cost what it might. and we are liable to have to pay on that year-- even tho we were living in poverty-- in NM> UGH. gawd i hate that state!

anyhow-- we also need to move some furniture around today-- i no longer can live with a bed siting in my doorway--- we got a bigger bed for the guestroom last week... and soulman has been too busy to mess with it-- if i could take down and move the one that's in there-- i could have prolly done it by now-- but i can't . so hopefully today we will get that done.

aaaaand-- STILL not one word from the home owner on the A/C!!!
todays temp is forcast at 81 degrees. normally i would be doin the happy dance! i love weather like that-- i was born for temps like that-- but only if i choose to swelter ! NOT IN my house !
wtf are we gonna do??? it won't be long before we are hittin 90 degrees here...
HOLY CRAP! i HEAR SOMETHING IN THE ATTIC!!!! at least i think so-- if not--its on the roof and very pissed-- i must go look-- i'm scared! LOL

well holy crap!! i din't actually see what it is-- but something has been eating the poison and seeds etc.. there's a trail of dust and seed shells..and POOP. i wonder what it is.... how gross !
whatever it or they are-- i hope they STAY UP there-- and don't get in the house!!! eeeewwwweeee.

welp-- i reckon that's about all i have time for right now-- i gotta get things movin here.

i'll catch up with y'all this afternoon--

happy monday!!!

more nuthin for a sunday

i got up at 4 a.m
every light in the house was on.
the dogs goin nuts to go go out.
soulman gone for the night
had to check on soulkid-
to make sure she was alright.
once i was up- i thought i was up-
the dogs had to go outside-
i was so stinkin tired
and started the coffee
and lit my first cig
and sat my fat ass in the chair.
then the dogs came in,
and i poured a cup.
and lit me a first of several smokes.
i wrote this here post
debated goin to bed for a while
and after eevie puked on the floor
that was it.
i bid y'all another goodnight-
i'll be back!

(i knew i wrote a post this morning-
i just found it in my drafts-
how weird-
obviously i was still half asleep-
it was 4 - somethin in the morning-
i went back to bed til 7-ish-
now i am back.
i will be cruisin now.
see ya soon)

satahday sumthins

i'm still here-
i just have nuthin to say-
hard to believe i know-

but it's true.

i've tried,
but i got nuthin!

i thought of fishin-
but then second guessed my luck lately.
:))

thought of cruisin too--
but didn't get too far-

so-
i cleaned house-
took naps-
went to the mall-
OH YES i did-
watched a movie-
"the kite runner- (wasn't bad)
(this is over two days)
and today- i actually slept til 730 a.m !
WTH ??

and- sushi-
is buggin the crap out of me-

along with eevee-
yep-
her too-
she is liking me now-
and all kindsa up in my face
wantin to play-
ugh!

and of course--
i'm frickin stahvin !

and my fridge-
looks like THIS-

(WORSE- actually- and i haven't been shopping yet- :(( )

BUT-

i did find some left-over fried chicken from last night !
woo hoo-
it's in the oven now-
nuthin worse than nuked fried chicken
*GAG*

so- anyhow-
i feel like an ass for not blogging for so long
and not visiting or talkin to everyone like i should-
but i'll be back soon

do you still love me????

A/C hell update

i don't have a good feeling about this-- at all-

ever hear the ole saying-- "ya get what ya pay for" ?

well... , dammit-- i have a feeling that the landlady trying to save a couple hundred bucks-- is gonna cause US a LOT of problems.

someone rang the doorbell today-- i wasn't expecting anyone--- usually-- someone will call before showing up--right? well.. not today-- not a day that my house is trashed-- and a bed sitting in the doorway-- anyhow-- i check the peek-hole--and right away know who it is and why they are here-- but am pissed i didn't get a call first.

it is two asian dudes.. (y'all know i have nothin against asian peeps-- i just knew that because they were asian..that they had been sent here by the home owner)--here to check the air conditioner. so i open the door--and yes i am right-- oh but first-- i had to put the dogs up-- sushi was barkin her ass off-- and eevee was just scary lookin. so i get them put up then open the door. sure enough, that's why they're here. one of the guys has a damn cast on his arm. ugh.

so anyhow-- i let them in , they go in the attic... i hear one of them set off a rat trap and scream! OMG... i grumble to myself about just how fun this is gonna be. i could smell the incompetence !!! i had a worse feeling from these guys than i did the 200 year old a/c guy.

they come down.. and start asking ME a bunch of questions-- about the a/c.. so basically-- they had no need to troubleshoot-- because i just told them the entire history and diagnosis of the damn thing. then they go to check the outside unit--- the can't pull the stupid stakes out of the ground that hold a little fence up-- ugh. i'm about to have a freakin seizure! they finally get through the fence and walk away , leaving the tool bag and gauges on the ground-- i say-- umm.. do you need this?
aha yes i should have my tools bag.
i walk back inside, holding my now pounding head.
a while later they come back in.
so i ask what they found out-- like i didn't already know. hmmm.
yes there's a leak. hmm. ok. aaaand?
he doesn't know. maybe replace the coils.. maybe the whole thing.
oh really?
well, how much? (hoping silently--that they will want a whole lot more than the other guy.)
they say "maybe 1500.00."

UGH. i think. shit! they'll pay 1500 before 1750. BUT .. these guys just don't seem like they know what they're doing. really. i just didn't have a good feeling. they really didn't DO anything. the other guy actually worked, and checked stuff. even noticed that we didn't have a filter-- these guys didn't even check that.

so-- i ask .. how long will it take?
maybe a day.
maybe???
the other guy said HALF a day.
plus--the other guy, called while he was here and made sure he had all the parts-- these guys didn;t.

so anyhow-- after they left-- i went up to check and see if they left a mess or anything up there-- and guess what i noticed? they STOLE my damned flashlight!! the one i JUST bought last night! i had left it by the ladder up there so i wouldn't have to carry it up. and they TOOK it!

i do NOT want them here again!
i just don't think they will do it right-- or fast. a broken arm? that's as bad as old.

so--- i called soulman.. told him all this stuff-- told him their lower estimate would be all the owners were gonna pay attention to. he said he would pay the difference-- and would email the owner after work. PHEW.

i can't believe the owners paid yet another service call for these guys to come out here-- and do nothing-- except steal my flashlight!!!

today is kinda hot too-- i want my a/c to work. asap.

i am so bored i can't even THINK

it's cuz i am ME !!!

mornin peeps--

the photos you are about to view are real:
they are not hijacked, or taken from google images:
these are pics of my house -
well, various components, of my house i should say-

this is my living room ceiling:
see the big stain?
well, the other day it was like 85 degrees here,
so we ran the A/C for the first time, since moving into this house.

(some of y'all may remember me bitchin about my heater
not working-- and also the 200 year old repair man
that was sent out TWICE, to fix it?)

well,THIS is the result of his detailed troubleshooting.
both times he came out- he said there was a leak- and shot some freon in it.
(mind you; the man had been in the attic twice by now)

SO - after running the A/C all day- i notice the ceiling.
hmmmm.
well... i go into the attic (where the unit is---why it is UP there is beyond me)
immediately, i notice water leaking under the a/c unit.
i take a closer look--
what do i see?

THIS:

the condensation drain for the a/c--
it is "busted"-- and not just there but about a six inch section behind it.
hmmm.
odd.

so tell me-- an a/c guy had been up there TWICE-- and missed that?
how?
i saw it right away.
i guess 200 year old men don't see well?

also when i was up there-- i kept hearing "something"
but to ease my creepy "i'm in a dark attic" feeling-
i blew it off to my wild imagination.

so, the next day-- we call the home-owner.
we tell her - your guy is NOT doing a good job-
we remembered a guy who replaced our unit several years ago-
and recommended him.
SO, he came out yesterday-

i showed him the pipe--
and he replaced it-
but not before pointing out the fact--
it wasn't "rotted" like I thought---
BUT "something" has been chewing on it !!!!
"something" or many "somethings" are in my attic!
and they are THIRSTY!

JUST LOOK-

that is the section of pipe that he replaced-
OMG!
WTH is IN my attic???
not only are they thirsty-
but they are HUGE!
i have never seen anything like that in my life-
and i was an exterminator for a year once.

they ATE my PIPE !

luckily, i remember how to kill rats-mice etc..
and soulman will get the stuff we need to do that this afternoon.
if it is mice or rats-- it will be easy-
if it's a raccoon ? or a opossum ?
i have NO idea of what to do or how to get it OUT!!

so anyhow-- yep-- as for the "rats" and the ceiling--
we can take care of that for next to nuthin....
little paint..little poison.. etc...

BUT---
there really is a freon leak too--
which means the coil needs replaced.
the landlady is in SHOCK!
the estimate is $1, 750.00 !!!
on top of what she already has paid, and the 100.00 for yesterday.

now i am not sure of her financial condition...
but i am assuming that NOBODY has 1,750.00 just sittin around.

luckily, yesterday and today are cooler days..
but the weekend we sat and sweltered in here...
and soon the 80 + degree weather will be back.

WTH are we gonna do if she can't afford to fix the air??

well... here;s a thought-
hubby already said - to me--
"i refuse to live in a hot house-- we'll MOVE."

OMG..... someone help me.
he would too-- our deposit and one month rent would be enough to move--
but y'all know me--
I CAN'T LIKE IT !!!!
if i have to move again...
i SWEAR--
ALL i'm takin is my furniture, appliances, and clothes!
the rest can go to charity!
i am sooo done haulin shit around!!


(Don't cross me Bitch!)
:))

stay cool peoples!
happy humpday!

holy cow---

well, hello--
what in the world do i say about all that was said -- or not-- yesterday???

and where do i begin?

with y'all? -- or with smocha? actually -- the misunderstanding between the two of us might be where to start. .
y'all know -- or at least some of you do ..... smocha is my sister. my one and only living sibling, or family member-- as far as "immediate family" goes. both our parents are dead, and our brother is dead, so that leaves US. and sometimes, it's just not easy. we live far from each other-and we don't get together or even "talk" very much at all. so when you live in a typewritten world, a lot is very easily misread, or misinterpreted etc. especially with sisters-- much less -- sisters like us.

i will be the first to admit-- yes, i did read her comment here yesterday in the wrong context--- i took it as negative and attacking in a way. it was neither. and she did email me early and tell me that. it's the sarcasm that just is a part of who both of us are. i just didn't catch it - at 3 a.m.

much of the post i wrote yesterday-- was not directed towards her-- i was trying to make a point-- that ALL blogs are not going to be peachy all the time. and if a person.. not necessarily HER.. ... can't deal with what happens "here".. then don't read-- or expect me to change my writing style or who i am... simply to make it seem like everything is ok. because it isn't. not always.

so-- needless to say-- probably- i hurt her feelings-- and she hurt mine-- and it was all because i didn't read into her comment as it was meant to be read.
maybe some of y'all did.
it looks like, by charlottes-- (VAL's) -- comment-- that she "got it". and i think a couple others did too. but, i missed it.
and i felt like an ass the entire day for it.

i felt like an ass because smocha had emailed me after i posted -- she explained and apologized to me.

ME- on the other hand--- by then, having already posted it--and having a comment or two-- there was no turning back. ( in my way of thinking).

i thought of her--and y'all all day long. i felt like a baby to be honest. running to mommy cuz some kid threw a rock at me, ya know? (btw-- that happened once at the bus stop when i was a kid-- got me right in the forehead! maybe that's my problem!)

i don't know. i did however have a comment-- ("auntie j" really is my aunt-- my moms sis)-- she said something about PMS...well... that's exactly what it was. well part of it -- the other part was just that i am a overly sensitive-- quite defensive type of person.
which explains part of me being such a bitch lately. not just yesterday but for a few days.

ugh.

i do get hurt easily-- and i do misread stuff on here... it is so hard to find the correct tone or meaning sometimes in written conversation.

so anyhow-- i am in awe over ALL the comments y'all left on this ... when i read them last night before bed-- i just couldn't believe the things y'all had to say. i will admit, it was all very reassuring for me.. to know that y'all do care so much about what happens here etc.
but it made it so hard for me to contact my sis over this yesterday.
UNTIL.. i saw her comment here this morning.
just so y'all know-- it is very unlike her to say something like that "in public"... so .. not only did it make me very proud of her-- but again.. i feel like an ass.

i did email her-- and i am certain things between us will be ok. it's not the first time i have gone overboard with her-- we are sisters, afterall. that happens. but i'll tell ya--- it just can't be easy having a sister like ME.

so-- anyhow-- i think i will spend the rest of the day trying to take care of THIS:

aaand, if i succeed with extracting my head from my ass---
i will be talkin to y'all later on..
i am sorry for being such a baby at times.
but at the same time.. i love you guys-- and appreciate you and your support
more than you will ever know.

i'll be back later ...

have wonderful days out there!

oops-- an early morning defensive rant

mornin peeps--

question of the day-----
ok-- maybe a couple questions of the day---

A- i have several regular readers and commenters here-- most of you i call my blog-friends. some i call my friends. a couple of you are even family--- more than a couple if i count the ones who don't comment.
there is a reason that you read here. nearly daily for many of you. i'm sure you have different reasons for coming here. so----



1- do you read - and/or comment here because you like honest writing. no fluff, no bullshit??

2- or do you read here for some sort of peek into the life of a person who has some problems getting through life? physical, mental, family, whatever?

3- why do you keep coming back?



i'm asking because, it seems i got an ultimatum of sorts. "be positive, or i lose a reader. " hmmm.
well.. this person, is one who one would think would be the most understanding of all of you. so i will admit-- 3 a.m. this morning, i was a bit .. well, shocked isn't the word. not at all. maybe pissed is it. actually-- i don't know the word right now.

if there's some of y'all that can't deal with real life issues.. and you want to read someone inflate their ego and live in denial of what their real life is... then this isn't the page for you to be a part of. there are thousands of blogs out there who are full of people who live in a fantasy world, and are 100 % positive 100% of the time. how honest are they? not very , not in my opinion.
therefore-- you don't find links to that type of blog on my list of links.

i began this blog -- for ME. as a stepping stone to something else. in the beginning, i had NO idea it would become what it has. sure, people have come and gone, and that is bound to happen. i'm sure it will continue to happen. sometimes people just don't click.

but anyhow-- i don't , i won't , and i haven't..since the beginning--- pretended to be anything i'm not. if anything i think i may have improved who i am... in many ways. because of all of you.
one thing is-- i have toned down my language quite a bit. sure-- you will see me cuss a bit-- a lot sometimes... but not like i did early on.

i've gone from "all about me" - to what's goin on in YOUR world. and i truly care about what goes on in your world.

y'all have been , and are a fantastic group of people, and support system for me. and many others who you have found through me-- or vice versa.

i don't have a fairy tale life-- i never have , and i don't expect that i ever will.
so if you're waiting for the happy ending here? don't expect it any time soon.

some days i will make you laugh-- some days i may piss you off, some days i'm a crybaby-- some days-- i make no bit of sense at all.

but i don't lie to you-- or me.

and if that's what you're looking for -- you won't find it here.

so just know this--
i have changed as much as i am willing to here.
this is my life-- it isn't fiction, it isn't glossed over.

i just don't know what a person wants or expects when they demand "positive", from a person who isn't always positive.

want positive?
read the Bible ... and good luck with that-- believe it or not-- even THEY had problems.

anyways-- here i am, i find myself defending my writing, and my character-- seemingly not for the first time. i don't think that's right or fair .. for me to be put in a position to even FEEL like i should need to do that.

so anyhow-- either stay-- or go-- if you can't handle who i am.. or what happens in my life--
then you are obviously living in a fantasy land. one without conflict. i suppose that's a good thing-- for you.
but if you can't deal with the real side of things-- find some fairy tale to read...there's plenty of bloggers out there who really are full of themselves, and their trophy life in a glass case.

enjoy-

does anybody know what time it is-does anybody really care

howdy folks---

yep, here i am, once again, would you believe that as i begin to type this it's friggin 333 a.m !!! how very interesting.

not that i have anything of interest to write about. just that i noticed the time.

i woke up at 2:45 a.m. - no particular reason this time. just woke up. i did go back to bed-- thinking i could at least TRY, before calling it over; but that only lasted about five minutes.
too much goin on upstairs-- in my feeble mind. so of course i was up again in less than five minutes.
a month or two ago it was really almost normal for me to get up this time of day every day-- and i was used to it. now- not so much. guess i better get used to it, cuz it just looks like the way things are again. getting through the day is much harder than it was before though. i'm not sure why that is. maybe i got used to staying up later, and waking up later... so now i go to bed late-- and get up at 2 or so-- getting less sleep, and so, i drag my ass all day long. i don't know.
but yesterday.. i really did nothing. absolutely nothing. and it wasn't out of lack of opportunity. it was total lack of energy and motivation.

i slept on and off quite a bit as the day dragged on. in my chair-- in my bed. it must have added up to several hours-- yest i remained very tired all day long. i hate that feeling.

about mid day or so-- soulman and soulkid went to the store-- i was invited -- but did i go?
nooop. stayed right here in my still not dressed , ass-sittin -on , sloth bein, state of mind.

later on, soulman took EEVEE to the park. that dogs needs to run and play-- in space we just don't have here--- or she would expload! so he goes almost every day with her. anyhow-- he went to a park with a fishin pond. took fishin stuff, asked if i wanted to go. did i???
noooop. i remained on my ass.. in my chair. comotose.

he was gone a couple hours. i still had accomplished nada.
but i decided i'd better get to cookin somethin.. before we ended up spending more money on prepared food--- which again, we have been doing way too much of-- simply because i haven't shopped-- or cleaned the kitchen-- or some other motivational road block has interfered.
so i did. i got up and cooked dinner-- but i was a total ass the entire time. for no real reason. just cuz i didn't want to cook. it turned out ok. (pork chops and Brussels sprouts-- yep that's it-- not even a potato! can we say-- lethargic? i think it has gone beyond lazy-- i just have NO energy.

not much between dinner and bed time. cruisin, tv, chattin with the soul-fam. watchin soulman do homework with soulkid..a science thing. he is much better at keeping her on task than i am. he did really good and so did she--- and she actually finished! yippee for both of em!

by then it was pushin 930 - 10:00--- so.. i went to bed. i had been fighting to stay awake by then already for a couple hours. knowing if i went to bed at 8 like i felt like-- i'd surely be up way too early. but apparently-- it did no good to suffer. i was still up too early.

can't figure it out. gotta be the med change. seems it has been hardest to stay awake since the switch. sooo.. i am gonna take the new one at bed time tonight, rather than in the morning like usual, and see if it makes a difference. i sure hope that is the problem. i really hate spending my life in neutral.. or worse even... PARK. ugh.

somethin's gotta give here.

so anyhow...
that's about all i got for now. we'll see if anything blogworthy happens later on.

hope y'all have good days out there

i found a meme about FOOD !!!!!!!

What is your first memory of baking/cooking on your own?

I’m not sure if this is my “first” memory, but it is my “most” memorable I was nine years old, and home from school, alone, and sick . my mom was at work, brother and sister were at school. I was wearing a way oversized terry cloth robe. Especially the sleeves. They were real wide, and dangly, and fringed at the end of the arms.

I was making “Top Ramen” on the electric stove, when I “heard my mothers’ voice” replay in my head --- “don’t use the front burner if you cook today”.

Soooo.. being the obedient kid – ok.. being, afraid she would find out somehow, -- I went to move the pot to the back burner. Well, it only took a second to realize exactly why I wasn’t supposed to use the front burner while home alone. Yep- you guessed it… my oversized dangly ass robe sleeve brushed across the still hot burner – and went up in flames before I knew what happened !

I was standin in the kitchen, hopping and flapping my arms like a crazy person, and all that I was accomplishing was to put myself into a greater panic, and feed the flames!

Finally I looked over, and noticed the sink was full of dishes soaking! See, sometimes a dirty kitchen can be a good thing --- so I ran over, tossed a few over to the other side, and dumped my arm into the water.

Aside from being very scared of what just happened, and afraid I was gonna get in trouble, I wasn’t burned or hurt.

That was very scary btw-

Who had the most influence on your cooking?

Starvation? Poverty? Not sure, but it was do or die. Somehow I got lucky- and creative, and turned out to be a damn fine chef au natural ;))

I can’t bake though.. but I can cook anything.

Do you have an old photo as “evidence” of an early exposure to the culinary world and would you like to share it?

Not that I can think of right now—I’ll have a look around.

Mageiricophobia - do you suffer from any cooking phobia, a dish that makes your palms sweat?

Dessert for company!

Ugh.

It’s not my specialty, but I always want anything I cook for someone to be really good. So baking- or dessert etc, makes me more nervous than anything else.

What would be your most valued or used kitchen gadgets and/or what was the biggest letdown?

Most valued utensil:

Spatula..tongs, and a slotted spoon.

And LORD knows—my coffee pot !!!

Biggest letdown:

this one is easy-

it was the first time I had met my in-laws. Literally.. the very next morning. We had gone out to NM to their house, and I was getting coffee, and offered my mom in law a cup. She wanted sugar in it. she had a HUGE lazy susan on the counter with clear glass containers filled with spices etc on it. one of them had “sugar” in it. sooo, I fix up her light sweet coffee, and take it to her, then go back to the kitchen for mine.

Suddenly, I hear a “gasp”.. then “salt” …

OMG.. how embarrassing. I had put salt in her coffee!

Welcome to the family soul! You ass. :))

She still loves me though.

Appliance I would like:

A chest –type- freezer.

Name some funny or weird food combinations/dishes you really like - and probably no one else!

I put A1 steak sauce on my eggs

Gravy on French fries

And salt on ANY melon or citrus fruit

What are three edibles or dishes you simply don't want to live without?

Coffee

Guacamole

steak

(there's so much more - it's hard to limit it to only three)

Your favorite ice-cream: java chocolate chip--it is ever changing and not a favorite
You will probably never eat: rocky mountain oysters
Your own signature dish: I have too many to think of one right now.

Any embarrassing eating habits?

Sometimes I eat way too fast. Sometimes I realize it and slow down.. other times I don’t notice until I realize I am the first one done. My stomach pays for it too. Not sure why it happens, just does.

consider yourself tagged !!

just the way it is

well, hell.
the truth has been revealed.

not like it has been a big secret or anything.
i think i had just been waiting for a change ya know?
to wake up someday,
and be some bright , happy, sunshiny, SOUL.

well. i realized, a very short while ago. that well, it just isn't gonna happen.
EVER.
i may have days. or moments. that i can be sunny-SOUL-UP -
but over-all

(and just for those who don't know-
really- that isn't disrespectful.
she enjoyed that "role" in her life)

unfortunately-
i do NOT.

i just can't seem to control myself lately.
hmmmmmm.
whatever.
i guess.

so anyhow.
i think a lot of time has passed since i began this post:
but as of now- it has just been sittin here neglected.
poor post.

now i have lost my train of thought--
was i gonna explain my bitchiness?
or is there really any need for that?
perhaps i was simply born this way.

blood type? = B+ = BITCH
ya think?
works for me.

sooooo, anyhow---
i think i will just stop here-- and throw up a second post later.
hoping that i will feel better than i do now.
it seems that the last week that has been the way things go.
i wake up early, and crabby, but once things get moving,
i seem to feel a bit better.
TIRED as hell, but better still.
so, i will cruise the streets of blogland,
and hope to get caught up with y'all.
and i will be back later, to let you know if
"the good soul"
shows herself today.

HAPPY SATAHDAY!!!

friday has arrived

doesn't she look like just THE perfect dog?
well, in a way; or even many ways; she actually is.
BUT-- she is actually, at this point, the first animal, of any kind,
that we have owned , in many years,
that has let it be known that i am not her favorite human in the bunch.

do i care?
not as much as i care about the damn "mysterious underlining" all of the sudden!
but yes, it does bother me some.
BUT-- y'all surely remember, about the time that we had to put my midnight to sleep a couple months ago: i said i wasn't, and wouldn't be ready for a dog of my own, or the responsibility of loving or taking care of one for "a while".
so, by her making it clear that her favorites don't include me.. is actually ok.
just odd in comparison,
to being the dr. doolittle that i,m used to being here.
but hey.. i said i wouldn't feed a new dog, and i haven't-- and i do wonder-
is that where the difference really lies in where an animal decides who they love?

she really does love soulman though. and that really makes me happy.
we have gotten dogs for him before, and it seems that even HIS dogs end up "loving" me more.
i spose because with me not working.. they spend more time with me, and it just ends up that way. not this one. she knows her daddy. and at times when he is out, she will sit with her back to me, facing the front door, literally for hours! just waiting for him to come back.
it's actually kinda sad. but funny too.
seems we have enough animals with issues here. but i guess there's always room for another.
she does like soulkid too.
just not me.

even tho it's HER fault that i woke up at like 215 or so this morning because of hER-
and her issues.
she was turning circles in her crate .. for like half an hour.
very ungracefully i might add.
i finally decided she must have to go potty-- and soulman was surely not hearing any of it.
i thought i would be able to put her out and go back to sleep--
WHY i thought that , i have no idea--
it never happens...
and it didn't.
i put her out had a smoke while i waited, got her put back in her crate..
but that was it for me.
so i started the coffee..
edited some pix we took yesterday-
and here i am.

doin what i do best-
yep-
the smoke n choke-
it's actually kinda peaceful.
seems it hasn't been for a while--
shit i spoke too soon
i hear sushi from the kids' room.
now i have to go mess with her-
outside- inside- on my lap- farting-
lovely.
she does love me though.
unlike her new buddy.
who, btw- kicked her little ass yesterday!
i hope they get along better when sushi goes out of heat.
ugh.
what a pain in my ass.
animal-hell, i say.
---awww--once i see her, i just can't be mad---
well, til she makes me let her back in, in like one minute :))


well anyhow--
this:
would be Jitterbug--whohas now decided to place her Hindenburg ass
on my belly--in front of my puter screen, mind you-
and knead my belly like a big lump of bread dough!
and no-- it doesn't feel good.. the cat weighs like 20 poounds--or more. she's a lardo-- with bear claws!
SEE-

that was yesterday morning-
she was playing with a bag-
and got her dumb ass stuck.
she walked around the house that way for half an hour before we rescued her-
but NOT before we made her pose for photos of her "caught in a hanger!"

someone tell me why this thing keeps underlining AT WILL ! wth?

here is my sushi!

she isn't thrilled to have EEVEE here.
but she likes her ok.
they play some.. but they fight some too.
sushi really really loved midnight.
and i do think she is a bit confused about what's happening.
plus her hormones are out of whack.
poor baby.
i think they'll be ok.
right now they are in competition over a lot though.
people, toys, crates, name it.
they are both out of their minds.
but then again..
who isn't, right?

and lastly---
no, not saving the best for last--
but vice versa
:))

shield your eyes!!!

but-- some have wanted to see my granny glasses-
yes the tri-focals
(that don't work)
:((

i bring you
granny soul with sushi !

i hope you all have happy days in your worlds today-
i'll try--

WTH Thursday -

omg... this day is a bitch. and has been since i opened my puffy eyes at like 6 a.m. this morning.
my brain is mush. my body is unkind. i haven't accomplished a single thing today, and i'm not sure that i will. even though i really want, and need to. i literally cannot. not right now.

and especially today.
yesterday, turned out really good.
the doc appt went well.
i met with JLEE afterwards for coffee,
and we had a good visit for a couple hours.
it was really nice to drive my car.
i went and spent money on ME after that.
and i didn't feel (too) bad for it.
i used my credit card--- so it was easier than spending "real money" :))
i bought myself a watch, cuz mine is shit- well, not anymore.
and i bought myself a new camera--- that i can handle, and use better.
i also got hubby a new watch- and geve him my other camera.
- unforunately- that made him feel like a bad "gift giver" - as it was the camera he got me for christmas---he says i return "everything" he buys me.
i said it wasn't true---
until he ran down a list of about ten things i HAVE returned or exchanged.
now, THAT made me feel bad. :((
but-- anyhow- he needed his own camera for eevee pix anyhow-
so whatever. he's ok with it. he knew i wasn't comfortable with that camera.
he's ok .

ya, so anyways---- let's just say that sometimes life brings surprises that can throw us a bit off balance sometimes. and with that, i think we find what we are made of, and how much we have taught or learned from who we live with. we hurt, we heal, we struggle, we stand, and we fall.
we sleep, or we don't. we learn the importance of communication. and the danger of the lack of it. we learn to let go, we learn to hold on. and we love, as much as we can. when we can. because we never know when that chance won't be there anymore. and , we let it be known, that we love who we love, and just how much that fact will never change--- no matter what.



ya know? whether i have sat with you, hugged you, given or received a gift from you, talked only through yours or my blog, or talked a bit further on chat or email... whatever our relationship is here----

i do love all of you in my own way. i just want you to know that.
and i know that a large percentage of you know--- it wasn't long ago--- i wouldn't have said that-- or typed it. so you know-- i don't say it-- if i don't mean it. and i couldn't have come this far without y'all.

anyhow--- i guess that's a lot for a i got nuthin post huh?

hope you all have GREAT days today.

magic carpet ride

this would be me:

burying my head in the sand.

or, quite possibly;
it's me, being held down, every timei think i'm making progress.

either way---
it's kinda frustrating.
as you can prolly tell by the last few-- or many-- whichever--
posts here.

do you see a whine coming on?
i hope not, cuz i think i might.
i'm not feeling too perky this morning.
i should , you'd think.
i just don't.
hopefully that will change ...
ya never know with me.
sometimes it does.
but of course sometimes it changes-- for the worse.
depending on where my buddy schleprock decides to hang out.
ya know.

i'm not even sure where to begin this post-- even though i already did , but you know what i mean:

so-- i'll start with yesterdays re-cap i spose---

we accomplished a lot.

hubby taking my car in was one thing that turned out good.
it was actually kind of funny, and i was happy that we were both able to get a laugh out of it--rather than be angry.
which for a few days, we both were.
we both thought it was a serious problem.. at under 3,000 miles.
and i was already feeling that i had made a mistake in not buying a used car. ya know.
it was just one of those
"runnin out of time, high pressure sales, kid trapped at the closing mall, do something now, type things"
and we did it.
so anyhow---
he got home , it luckily didn't take more than a couple hours...
i asked what the prob was---
and seriously-- with both of us being mechanics--of sorts--
me-aviation, and some auto knowledge--
and him aviation , and very good with cars...
we both had agreed that it sounded like a bearing.
maybe a tie rod or something else in the wheel area.
so, he chuckles, which lemmee tell ya -- it isn't common for him to laugh at himself-- he is much better about it than he used to be--
but the man has a large ego-- sorry to say.
anyhow-- he hands me the paperwork, and i read
"splash gaurd bolts loose"
WTH? i say
i never heard of ...
then i realized what that was.. before i got further...
and we both started laughing.

he did apologize for not checking it--
he said he just thought he knew what it was..
but then again so did i.
really--it didn't rattle like anything was loose..
it squeaked when ya turned only to the right..
like a bearing would.
i laughed, but not in a bad way-- and actually, i laughed at both of us.
any other time, i would have took a look myself.
but y'all know.. there's been a lot of shit goin on here.
so that was really just a few hours of his life he will never see again.
don't know how it came loose though. they must have just not put it on right.
there was like 6 or 9 miles on it when we got it--
and really-- i drive like an old lady.
so-- that's that.


then after that-- we had phone crap to do--
he argued with our phone slash tv people...
they were all kindsa screwed up--
therefore i hadn't paid them in over two months--
my fear of conflict maybe-
whatever it was-- my failure to face the issue had caused some big problems.
such as the phone part-- turning over the tv part to the tv place--
BUT still trying to charge us the tv bill
AND the tv place trying to charge us the TV bill.
so i finally just handed all the bills like 3 or 4 to him.. and said
really, you need to handle this, i can't deal with it.
it took him an hour on the phone.
he did get some "fees" knocked off.
he got the bill paid--
the part that technically we owed.
but still the phone part is expecting us to "double pay" the tv part--even after turning it back to the tv people.
NOT.
it's paid-- but now we -- or he has to argue with them to get over 2 or 300 dollars (2 months) knocked off
cuz we are NOT payin twice for the same 2 months.
needless to say-- in his frustration with the phone ppl..
he cancelled our land-line as well.
which none of us care about or use anyhow--and it'll save us 60 bucks a month.
so i hope it kinda pissed off someone over there.
their incompetence already caused us to cancel our internet with them after less than a week after we got them..now the phone. WTH?
sometimes i name companies on here just to piss them off-- but sometimes i don't
today i wont.
i think cuttin them off is good enough for now.
but anyhow-- i'm glad he was willing to help me with that one.
i was too stressed out to handle that gracefully. and i knew it.
i woulda been too bitchy.

so-- while he was doin that--
i was dealing with doctors offices-
scheduling appointments--
getting med issues worked on--
balancing the checkbook etc.

then we left for my appointment.
the bone scan/bone density test.
the unofficial report says
"osteopenia"
which is "almost" osteoperosis.
big surprise-
NOT.
i see the doc who ordered the test on friday--
and will have the official report..and will let ya know what they say.

then we ran a couple quick errands, and went to get soulkid from school for her appt-
she was in a really good and happy mood. which made me happy.
her appointment went well.. looks like she's doin ok, and will be doing better soon..
so , yippee for that.

by then .. we were all sooo damn hungry i coulda ate roadkill !!
i hadn't eaten anything ALL day-- and it was almost 530 or so..
soulkid hadn't eaten either- and soulman hadn't eaten since breakfast.
lemmee tell ya--
we are not happy people when we are hungry--
just ask smocha--
we get mean..
and i will tell ya---
i am THE worst of us.
when i get too hungry--
basically--
well, i am mean. to anyone and everyone.
and that's where i was at at that point.
i NEEDED FOOD!
so they fed me ASAP!
and it was soooo good.
i felt bad for the young waiter though.
i ordered ALOT--
and was kinda rude until i ate some bread and an appetizer-
by then i was better.
hubby made excuses for me..and gave those "knowing looks" to him..
you know like
don't worry, she'll be ok, she won't hurt you--
well, as long as you feed her"
LOL
poor kid.

we had a good dinner overall though.. we had actual conversation ! all three of us.
i couldn't tell ya how many times we have gone out to eat and sat in silence .
not all the time.
but often we won't have anything to say--
or will argue over stupid stuff with the kid.
i hate times like that-
but really enjoyed last night.

then , we went shopping.
i KNOW. but even that was ok.
except for the fact that i was worn the hell out.
it was a constant runnin day.
i felt like a grunyon. :))
soulkid got a couple pair of shorts,
i got a hoodie and a shirt
we both got a stuffed animal from horton hears a who
even tho we haven't seen the movie yet.
just for fun.
hubby didn't find anything...
although all three of us went for shoes.
:((

after that we FINALLY were able to come HOME.
and i tell ya--
it felt sooo good to BE home.
it was really a busy day.

we watched american idol-- most of which was already on DVR--
and i chated with jamie a bit-
then i went to BED.

then i woke up too early again this morning. 430.
i have half a pack of cigs left - which will last- if i'm lucky- til about 8.
i have a appointment with my shrink-
to possibly get off prozac and onto "something else"
in order to continue being able to take imitrex for migraines--
without having a heart attack or a seizure.
which really kinda worries me.
imitrex is a very good - non-narcotic- miracle drug for migraines.
the last one i tried nearly killed me and was a very strong opiate based drug. UGH
the one that made me puke ALL night and go to ER.
neuro did give me another one the other day-- i just don't think it will touch a bad headache--
not the ones i get that last three days.
it does help the back pain, i'll give it that much.
but i need to get off the prozac-- and stop experimenting with pain meds. ya know.
SO that means i gotta drive today--
ugh.

as long as i don't get stopped or something stupid--
i think i will enjoy that.
i miss driving!

bumblee-bee

i have nothing to say--- and i don't know why. i'm sooo scatterbrained. i have a to-do list a mile long today. and i just cannot ignore it any longer.

the weather is sposed to be really nice today-- like 70-ish.. perfect for fishing-- BUT we just have too much to do-- and two dr appointments-- one for me, one for soulkid. and hubby has my car at the garage right now-- Lord knows how long they will keep it-- with NO loaner. if they keep it too long-- i am gonna have to take the risk, and drive his truck to go pick him up so we can get to my appointment at 130. and the kids at 330.

so anyhow-- almost time for soulkid to leave for school, and i think now is the best time to hit my damn kitchen.... before my stupid body quits on me. i swear i need a prescription for speed or something. ever since the stupid seizure-- i just run out of gas over the slightest bit of anything.
i really hate that too.
but- like i said-- aside from just plain recovering from that-- all the med reactions, and changes could have a lot to do with it too.

so.. this is my life-- welcome.


happy tuesday-- i hope something good happens to or for all of you today!!