do you mind if i cuss ?

how 'bout if i just go on a rant of sorts and slander the medical community? --- again?
i wouldn't know where to begin. i could write a book on this mess. oh. by the way, i don't suppose i need to tell you that the appointment with pain management didn't work out so well today, right? because, of course it couldn't be more obvious. it was such crap. and the doctor was more of an asshole that i am not sure that i could even describe it---him. i have seen probably literally hundreds of doctors -- ok.. let's say 100 - doctors, since this pain and stuff began. which was about 16 years ago , maybe. no, it's more than that-- that isn't even ten docs a year... so i bet 150-200 totally separate doctors , for my multitude of mystery illnesses, and symptoms, and such.
any of you who have followed this blog for any length of time should know my frustration. i would bet money -- maybe even a lot of money .. that if someone would frickin treat this pain properly, and not treat me like a damn junky, before they even know my history, or me as a person, my mental part of this crap would be cut in half. i almost gaurantee it.
but noooo. before i was even examined today-- my photo was taken, my tatoos were described and logged, and the pharmacy i use was logged in the record as well. i was already being all but fingerprinted --- just in case i might steal a rx or change one that was written to me. for identification.
then when i was examined-- i was tortured. he showed NO mercy. not only that-- but when i was getting up from a lying position from the table (i was on my back at the time) he offered a hand to help me up-- i let him take my hand--- he JERKED and PULLED me up very very hard.. it hurt so bad that it made me scream!!! i said wtf did you do that for???? he laughed!!! "what? what did i do, i was just trying to help."
if i was smart-- and we all know i'm just not that smart when it comes to these things. like docs -- or situations that i think i need to see through. i would have told him to fuck off right then. he was obviously "testing me". somehow trying to see how i would handle that . well, i didn't handle it very well. i was hurt, and i was pissed.
so now, i was not only being treated like a junky-- or worse-- a criminal! i was being treated like a liar!
and--- ya wanna hear the worst part? during the exam-- if ya wanna call it that-- remember now-- i am there for back, neck and leg pain..... he began asking OBgyn questions-- and without warning-- did a breast exam !!!! this was obviously before he ripped me off the table ---- which btw STILL hurts. i was just in shock.
and to think, i was sent there by a dr that i trust. (ED). my neuro dr. i just may not go back to him either. well.. maybe once-- just to let him know what an asshole he sent me to-- what he did, how he treated me, how he didn't treat me, and just how much i think he screwed me over.
oh-- i almost forgot-- after the "exam" the fuckin dr is sittin in the chair--- and i am standing-- in terrible pain... in a damned gown--untied in the back-- i could barely reach back to keep it closed, it was killing me to stand there... after five or ten minutes , i , through gritted teeth, say-- do you think i could get dressed?!
so he says oh, yes sure. so he leaves. (but not before letting it be known that he would not be giving me "real pain meds" -- but after he calls my shrink he might try a new drug similar to lyrica---- i had already told him i had an awful reaction to lyrica. and also to the neurontin, tegratol, etc type stuff, and that i refuse to take cymbalta. so he's gona put me on some brand new bs med that may land me in a psyche ward??? ummmm NO!
so while he was gone--- for by this time like 15 minutes--- i booked out of there--- well , as much as i could "book". i already paid his dumb ass... i knew i wasn't goin back...i knew he wasn't gonna do a thing for me but experiment and treat me like a junky. so i left. i did do a little snooping through my record though while i was waiting for him to come back-- before i got mad enough to leave. i read the notes from my neuro--- he did suggest that this dr refill my pain meds . instead he wants to do this kinda crap to me.
the entire thing was just WRONG. i have never ever had a PAIN doc-- or a neuro doc.. or any other such doc-- jerk me so hard like that-- or touch my breasts!!!
and he knew i was in pain. i waited in the waiting room for an hour, and him coming in and out and do the exam and talk and all the bullshit--- by the time i left i'd been there like three hours. i was damned crippled. and he wasn't gonna write a rx for nothing. nothing at all.
all the stress and pain was so much for me that by the time i got home--- i had a migraine. i ended up havin to take a imitrex shot.
it was an awful day in soulland folks.
sorry to whine and bitch so much in this post-- i know that y'all have pain and problems too--- i basically wrote this so i would have it down before i forgot any of his crap. because i just may report him. and no, not cuz he didn't give me meds-- i know a lot of dr's are whimps these days, and just don't want to do that. but it was the way i was treated. i felt worse leaving there than i have EVER felt even leaving the VA hospital. and i leave there in tears sometimes.
so....any ideas? should i just jump offa bridge and fix the pain myself? it's not like i haven't thought about that a few times.
i have no life at all anymore .. i don't think anyone even gets it. just last summer i was out fishin every single day -- sometimes for hours. now? i barely go at all. i can't stand that long. if i last an hour, it's a good day.
tonight, after my headache eased up-- i washed dishes-- it took maybe half hour - to 45 minutes to clean up in there--- i was near tears from pain, and even sweating when i was done.... how am i expected to pack and move and unpack and decorate and do all that i have to do this next month??? the thought is paralyzing.
imagine if angie wouldn't have come out to help with the garage. that was the worst of the worst. i just don't think i could have even made myself start that task.
thanks ang!!!!
ok y'all.. thanks for listenin. i bet i'll be better tomorrow. like i said-- i just had to vent-- and make sure i wouldn't forget what a BASTARD THIS GUY WAS.



take care, stay cool, and be happy.
g'night folks.

stuff, stuff, and more stuff--

(click the pic if you can't read it)

this is one of my sisters kids-- umm, i mean cats. she had it on the cheezeburger site- and i couldn't resist the possibly inappropriate caption. it was the first think that came to mind when i saw that face---
imagine your husband , as he tries to annoy you with his -- well, flatulence. not sure about you-- but i saw --- just about any man, succeeding in annoying the hell outta me-- or you---
so anyhow. that really is a beautiful cat. it's o'reilly, and he lives in england with his dad. my sis will be joining them soon. kind of a drag, but we never get to see each other anyhow. last time she went to england about 6 months ago-- there was a problem with the microchip-- mandatory on imported, i think, maybe all, animals. they put him in quarantine, and it would have been for six months. her and the cat were so depressed with him in kitty cat jail--- she brought him back to her home in arkansas until all the microchip-- and vet crap was settled. so they will be going "home" in august-- on her birthday. that cat is cavuto. all of blogland mourned for her and poor cavuto during his one month kitty jail sentance. but now he will get to go home to his other kitty friends, monkey, and o'reilly, and their daddy. so, that's cool.

how the hell did i get all on that subject? perhaps cuz when she left last time , it actually hit me a bit hard. right now , we live about 5 or 6 hours apart, and don't see each other-- but the opportunity is at least there. in england? it's no more than a "it aint gonna happen thing." no way could we pay for a trip like that. for three of us? and boarding four animals? nope. no can do. we can't even make it to lake fork more than once every year or two. the bass capital of texas--- maybe the whole country-- but england? hell.. we've been talkin about new york even, for like six years..can't get ourselves there either. but-- a drive like that (just to arkansas) is no walk in the park for me... and since she's been back, she helped plan, and travel to her baby boys' wedding. she had company from out of state. we were house hunting-- on top of a LOT of other stuff you may or may not know about.
soooo---- it just never works out the way ya want it to.

so. anyhow-- i spose that's enough ramblin on about my sis. and her cats. they are so friggin spoiled , if i die-- i want to come back as one of her cats. they get treated better than i ever have.


ok-- i really will shut up about that stuff.

thanks to all of you with your good thoughts and wishes etc on the house. i just don't see it fallin through at this point. too much time, effort, and money...not to mention stress and physical stuff, have been put into this. it's just gotta work out. it's gotta.

did y'all know mary, from pathways seems to be doin pretty darn good, considering what she's been through recently. she'll know more soon, but she's posted a couple times, and her hubby has tossed in an update or two. so, just so ya know-- if you prayed, sent good vibes, or whatever else y'all did-- it seems to be workin some real magic.

aha! did i mention that summer school is over? finally? longest three weeks of my damn life. or a close second. i liked that she had a place to go and something to occupy her over these passed weeks... but c'mon..now she has 2 more months of boredome and lonliness, with nothin to do.? not for me. i think she was doin better in summer school. at least she got out and saw people.

also, i did actually make it to the lab today... aren't you proud??
at least that"s any consolation. they tested for.. soujournes' (very misspelled) syndrome, and lupus, and thyroid stuff. and a bunch of other stuff. not sure when i will hear back about those results.

tomorrow is the dreaded pain mgmt doc appt. i spent hours collecting med records and filling out stupid paperwork tonight for that. such fun.

i don't know how much more of these dr's want to help me -- or if they can.

welp-- i had more to say-- but meds just kicked in, ---- i was asleep-- for i don't know how long. oops-
so, i best take my raggedy self to bed.

finally-- here's the other video--- hope you see it, cuz i can't

mornin folks-

i only have a few minutes for a real quick update for now, so i may post again later.
we're fixin to head out to the pond but i have to get at least 1 cuppa coffee in me and let the aspirin start it's magic before i can even get up to get dressed. not to mention a couple of cigs.

the texas temps have been ragin hot lately. awful. i'm usually one that loves to get out and be in the sun in the summer-time-- but oh man, this is even too much for me lately. the heat-- on top of the pain lately-- ugh. any time i've left the house has been to drop off or pick up my kid.. eat... or house hunt. period. as for fishin... i may have been one time since angie left. but that's a guess. i may not have been at all.

i'm trying to put together a second video of the house-- one with some pix that weren't in the first one... i would have had it up last night--- but i have no music on this computer.. since my hard drive crashed.. i just haven't had time to mess with such things. so i'll do that later.

oh--- the reason i'm puttin more pix? we GOT IT !!! yesterday we went over while they did the home inspection, and termite inspection. two words about that--- NOT CHEAP. but word to the not so wise--- never ever buy a home without having it done. it is money well spent.
i will have to explain that in more detail later--- but after we bought a home, trying to save the inspection money, we skipped having it done---- it became a nightmare real quick. 150.00 (then) for the inspection.. woulda saved us literally thousands of dollars.

anyhow-- thay now have our earnest money, the appraisal has been done, and paid for by us-- the inspections are done--and paid for by us... and as far as i know--- they can't back out-- right??? only we can. right ???? they better not back out now.

ok... moovin on.. i never did make it to the lab on friday-- i was too tired. i slept almost all day, after going back to bed.

so-- i will go tomorrow-- and also to the pain management doc.
aj asked if it was worth my time to go to PM... hell no. i hate them. the only reason i'm going at all is my neuro told me to...after he cut off my pain meds. it's the pain management doc-- or drive to dallas to VA. i have a feeling-- i will end up at VA. after the pain magmt. doc-- suggests everything i have already been thru.

ok-- i must go. i shall return.

hi ho - hi ho- it's off to the lab i go

and only about two weeks late.

no, i'm not afraid of needles --
i just procrastinate too damn much.


i did however get my thyroid ultrasound ,
yesterday. of course the stupid tech "couldn't" tell me nuthin.
ERG i hate that. i wanna know what-- if anything is goin on,
and i wanna know NOW.
but, i told ya-- hurry up, and wait.

so, that's what i'll do now too
go to the lab.. and hurry up and wait there too.

then the 23rd-- guess what i get to do?
yep, you guessed it--
hurry up and wait on the pain management doc.

i wish i had about half the damn money i've spent
on these useless bastard doctors over the passed three years.
it'd pay closing costs on the house.

oh--- which btw-- IS the one i did the video of.
just seems like the best deal out there-- for us-- right now.
so -- we took their counter offer.
hubby just dropped off the earnest money--
so, i guess that means there's no backin out now.
well, there is-- but there won't be.
unless the gods of schleprock luck intervene, and blow the whole thing.

i reckon i shall keep ya posted.

hope all is well in your worlds today
and that you have great weekends all the way around!

what the hell are you doin up? go to bed-

well, that would be unless you're like me right now, and
CAN'T sleep. just as i predicted , a day or two ago.
i'm not, however, packing.
and i don't plan to.
at least not tonight.


oh i am soooo pissed right now. i have been writin up a storm for like half an hour or more and i just hit some button and LOST ALL of it-- except that stupid intro up there. now that i'm finally feeling tired-- i aint even gonna mess with it.

so-- long story short?

1. i woke up at like 4 a.m again. which is pissin me off.
   
2. i smoked and coffeed -- aka-- smoke and choked til the rest of the gang woke up.
3. then guess where we went? yep you guessed it-- house hunting. which is about to kill me .
4. we looked at like 6 homes-- two were reruns.
   
5. one we came "this close " to getting.
6. then we realized it was just too much house, and it neded too much . nothin major really-- just stuff.
7. and stuff that would have to be done right away.
8. like paint, carpet in one room, possibly a back door-- it was warped and barely wanted to open.
9. plus it had a master bedroom biger than a fancy hotel room..it had a sitting room, bedroom, two gigantoid walk in closets-- that could have been bedrooms.. it was just used. so rather that get rid of stuff-- i'd have to be buying furniture for that room, and other rooms that just neded to be something. it was a huge one story house-- we all liked it-- but later, after looking at the taxes-- we decided no way.
10. soooo-- what's the plan? i think we will be countering the counter , and see what happens.
    
11. i'll let ya know when i know--
    

anyhowfolks-- i am now officially ready for bed.
hope you all have--or had good nights.
see ya manyana-

PS:

well , thanks, charlotte and ac-- i'll get back to you tomorrow-- and i'll try to hit the other 3000 comments i haven't replied to too.
but as for now, i am hittin the ole heatin pad and goin to bed. but , before i forget-- i wanted to get this picture up. i think i mentioned it a few days ago-- but jitterbug had a terrible hair problem. not just a bad hair day either. the damn cat had DREADLOCKS! Angie can vouch for it too. it was just awful. i'd never seen a cat with hair issues such as this. well, last night, i was petting her as she laid next to me in bed-- and i just couldn't take it, not for one more second. i hated the way it felt-- and i just couldn't imagine how awful it felt for her. so, what did i do? ummm, well.... probably something that only I would do. well, because , i am me afterall. and i sometimes do things that are a bit stranger than strange. so have a look at the pic below -- just don't judge me. i did it for her own good. really, i haven't lost it yet. she didn't even try to kill me. she actually enjoyed her little grooming session. she wanted to be a detangled pretty girl again.
it'll grow back. someday.

see, she even thanked me with a kiss.

g'night all.

livin on some real messed up time - and stuff

or maybe i'm just livin real messed up?? who knows? not i.
i think i wrote it somewhere-- but i guess it may have been facebook-- anyhow-- the house people denied our offer-- now we are trying to decide what to do. do we counter their counter? or do we tell them to pack sand? we offered only a few thousand less than asking price, and asked for closing costs. they came back-- actually the wife did--- apparently something we didn't know til yesterday-- there have been several offers on that house and she has turned them all down..like four--maybe five of them. so it's not just us. and what's weird? that house is paid off--free and clear. a few grand isn't gonna hurt them a bit. so WTH? the real estate lady said if not for the wife, she coulda sold that house ten times. the man is very nice, and would have sold it by now for sure. but because of her not budging, everyone tells them to fuck off, and they walk. this is a buyers market, and no one is gonna spend money they don't have to.

hubby and i spent hours last night trying to decide what we should do-- their counter? they said if we pay like 2500.00 MORE than the asking price-- which, let me tell you-- is a couple thousand over our loan amount--- PLUS anything above four percent of closing costs.. ( which we were told is usually 6% of selling price..but hell i don't know_ then they will sell it to us. well, what if it doesn't even appraise for that amount? and-- just how are we supposed to come up with that kinda money--PLUS pay an appraiser--and an inspector?? i'm not seein it in my crystal ball. are you?
yep, i didn't think so.

maybe it's just not meant to be. that's what i was saying all along-- if this one falls through there are houses everywhere trying to sell. and there are. houses without stairs. hell i don't know. hubby is already set on THIS house. and anyone who knows him...when he is set on something-- he makes it happen. i just follow along to shelter myself from the fallout. the thing that makes this even harder? is soulkid loves the place too. and any of y'all who have been around a while-- you know-- i live my life for those i love. to be honest-- i am settling for this house. IF we get it. just because they love it. of course there are things i like - or maybe even love about it--- but i do not love the thought that most of the house-- the better part no less, is up-stairs. y'all just wouldn't understand the dread i have of those stairs. could be months, could be years --- but it won't be long before i won't be able to go up there at all. the way my back and legs have been this past few weeks --- ugh. it's affecting my mind. not to the point of visiting the loony bin or anything... but it is affecting my quality of life. i live on a frickin heating pad. this crap, it wears me down faster than it ever has. and my fuckin neurologist givin up on me just makes it worse.

they say bad shit comes in threes-- well let's try fours-- or even tens. and i don't even know if that's enough. i lost count. y'all just wouldn't believe the shit that happened over the weekend.

maybe there is somethin to the damn 333 thing afterall. some stuffi just can't say on here-- a while back i woulda blabbed my head off-- but i won't now. i can't. it involves other people, and i have no right to put that kinda stuff on here. but let's just say it aint pretty. and it's kinda painful-- not in the physical sense. it doesn't make sense, and i can't like it!

one thing i can share-- only because she blogged about it--- some of you may not even know her--and if you do or you don't , i hope you go say hello to mary at "pathways"-- over there -----> and wish her well.... she's been a long time friend of mine, and has recently found out that she has malignant breast cancer! surgery is imminent. she is a tough ole redneck, and i love her dearly, she is being strong as she can be right now, but as fast as the dr's and surgeons are moving on this... i am extremely worried about her. whether you know her or not--please pray for her.
i actually have a good feeling that she will be ok-- maybe it's faith-- that i thought i thought was lost , but y'all know my luck with "people"-- they leave-- or -- well, worse. but- i'm not even gonna think that way . the worst thing about this? there is a possibility that both breasts are involved. i so pray NOT. you do the same .
and not to be preachy-- but, remember the scripture ? --
"where two or more are gathered in HIS name.. I will be there"
i believe that. i've seen it-- and so have you.

so anyhow-- let's talk about fathers day-- i will say it coulda been better (a whole lot better) for the ole soulman. he was ok, and did enjoy it the best he could.. but this is where the a lot of the more serious of the bad crap came in to play--
1- the "bad-ish" news on the house.
2- the "soulcalamatychild" dropped her BRAND NEW UNINSURED phone out of her pocket while running across the street !!! by the time she had a chance to get it? it had been run over! she thought that the fathers day card that she had gone out in the first place to buy for him would make up for it--- but noooo--- he was so pissed he was just sick about it. (finally , after over ten, maybe 11 years with a cell company we absolutely hated, our contract was finally UP--so he, only days earlier got all of us new phones--all uninsured... uugh...don't ask me why-- and she drops it in the middle of a six lane road!)
i just can't tell you how many phones she has lost, or broken just in the last two years... that were insured. and replaced. at 50.00 EACH. the last one-- it wasn't her fault , except for the fact that she let a friend use it at the mall, and the friend lost it-- she promised to pay-- and hasn't--- and we don't expect her (parents) to. and as far as that goes, i spoke with her dad over a month ago-- he promised me.. promised! -- that he would pay me THAT night. HFCow. did he? hell no. haven't seen a dime. the friend did give her a POS used/ancient phone to use... but that does NOT cover a 150.00 phone that she lost at the mall.
i did get her a trac phone , but that just wasn't good enough for the little princess; but she had used the insurance like three times in as many months already--we couldn't dare use the insurance again, we would have been accused of some kind of fraud. ERG. fifteen years old.. and too immature to take care of A phone-- much less six or seven. maybe she'll learn her lesson now-- cuz it just aint happenin. she is not gettin another one now. if she does, it won't be anything like that one. it'll be like the one i used for about the last four years -- a basic ugly simple talk/text only phone. no fancy glitz and glamor for her this time. OMG, i'm havin a damn stroke just thinkin about it.

3. i think. this one coulda been that the soulman realized the other day that he's been drivin around with an expired inspection sticker for like two months. has he had time to take it in? well of course not. no one has had time for shit around here.

PLUS -- this past week as he fed his cravings that he has missed out on the last three months or so -- he feels horrible. his reflux is killing him. and he just feels bad all around. and now-- the stress of all the bullshit here-- ugh. i feel for the poor guy. i think we need to have a fathers day redoux. sometime soon, when things settle down. sounds like a good idea to me.

well anyhow-- i am just about out of time-- i've had calls comin in and out-- one of which believe it or not was the new pain management doc-- i wonder if he'll do shit to help me?? i really have my doubts. but i go in on the 30th. so i shall pass on the news -- or the horror story of that little visit-- whichever, when i know more.

also , i have the ENT appointment for the thyroid crap on --well-- tomorrow. no idea what he will do. i remember liking him. he actually seemed concerned. i do have a lot of thyroid symptoms. i still feel like he should have done the biopsies on the damn nodules then..not wait six--now seven months.. to wait for "changes." three nodules on my thyroid. not one biopsy. now here i am, tired as all get out--and twenty pounds fatter.

have i mentioned that i hate dr's???
have i mentioned that i hate having to see so many of them?

do i even have to mention the fact that i do realize that this is the most crybaby post i've written in some time? i am aware of that. and i apologize. but i really am a crybaby today. for more reasons than i even mentioned. even more than the ones i couldn't mention.

have i mentioned that i apologize for that?
or that if you read this far-- i appreciate it.
and if you survived the read without vomiting or vowing to never return, i appreciate that too.

so , anyhow--- it's already time to go get my kid in like twenty minutes and i haven't accomplished a damn thing.
and i woke up at like 3 somethin a.m. -- after only falling asleep at like 2 ish. what kinda crap is that? that was with meds too!

i have a feelin someone is under too much stress.
there just might be some midnight packin goin on around here soon. when i get like this-- sleep is a word i don't recognize.

so-- i am outta heah....
happiest of mondays to ya...

just a meme to make things easy on myself

A Happy MEME

EE tagged me for this MEME. so here i is--
i aim to please.

What makes me happy is:
these twelve things.. maybe more, but it only asked for twelve. :))

1. being pain free. (HA-- what a joke that is lately.
but i am happy when i don't hurt. )

2. my kid being happy -- without the need to get in trouble to be that way. *SIGH*

3. good sex. :)) -- i can say that-- cuz i'm married.

4. a full nights sleep -- especially when i fall asleep without meds. (which is like 4 times a year)

5. a clean house. mine in particular.

6. a belly laugh-- it doesn't even have to be my own.. i just love the sound of it.

7. writing a blog post-- or a poem, that simply comes together.

8. i can't believe this wasn't first--- catching a big ole bass!!

9. friends and family just being there for me -- without being bribed, or begged. or just not .

10. feeling like i'm not just a waste of space, air and money.

11. laughing out loud -- at something or someone other than myself--when i do something stupid.

12. peace in my home -- without having to hide in another room alone to find it.

Now, I'm supposed to pass this onto 6 or 7 :)) other people,

"what makes YOU happy" ???

1- mary/pathways
2- smocha/ cats on the counter
3- charlottte/ golden to silver val
4- vicki- desert dirt diva
5- donna - made in heaven
6- brenda - what's up down south
7- brad - kubuto farm

Let me know if you do it.. or if your just old and boring and refuse. :))

a home of our own??? finally ?

well folks, we did it-- we signed the papers last night, and put an offer in for the house. the one in the video-- obviously. we feel pretty good about the offer--- and we only asked them to fix two things-- or if they didn't want to they could deduct the money it would cost-- and they are cheap fixes.. both less than a couple or three hundred total. and really-- we coulda really been picky over these things and asked them to replace stuff that woulda cost a couple thousand... so-- we're easy. hope they are. we didn't ask too much lower than the asking price-- but we did ask for closing costs---- that's where the worry comes in. but i hear most people ask for that anyhow-- and this guy has a ton of equity in this place-- he bought the land and built the house--- i really don't see him whining too much about that. he may ask for half or something. who knows. we are quite out of practice in buying homes ya know. it's been quite a while since we've been through this. i'm happy we have a good agent working with us.

anyhow-- have a look at the video-- it's very short. it doesn't show as much as i would like it to. if we do another walk through i'll take more pix of other stuff i want you to see.

few things : the big room with the wood floor is upstairs...the two smaller rooms and bathroom is upstairs too, there's several closets up there, which will surely be stuffed to the gills...or not-- the garage has shelves and cabinets --so that could be my saving grace as far as storing crap goes. plus the shed out back will all for soulmans' crap-- his giant tool box, lawnmower, all his yard tools etc, it has two windows--his plan is to add a window A/C so he can work out there-- little does he know-- his crap will fill it UP. (maybe) if he finds a trash can it might not. ;))
just have a look .. we have lots of plans for this place-- and already have a (used) pool table on hold for after we get moved in...i have wanted one for years--and now finally have space for one.. oh and i love the built ins. their everywhere!
oh and just so ya know-- the first thing i'm buying? a brand new tim the tool man taylor powered dishwasher!!! the one there looks too much like the one here-- that just doesn't work for a crap-- you have to wash before you load..what the hell good is that but a waste of electricity? it's a dishwasher payment if ya ask me.. on my now paid off sears card LOL. oh-- and i am also gonna put a ceiling fan in the kitchen.. why they don't do that here is just stupid and beyond my comprehension. and-- we are gonna put a ceiling fan or two on the back patio----and screen doors! i have always-- well for years--since our first house we bought-- wanted to open the front and back doors when it's cool-- but i never can, cuz i never have a screen door---but now i will. bwa hahahahaha. OH--- AND it has a doggy door in the back.. bad thing? the stupid cats can get out too... wonder how we will deal with that issue. hmmmm.
ok anyhow-- have a look. i must get offa here. i got thangs to do--- that will hopefully get done.
i have my doubts tho-- we're kidless... it's quiet...and it just feels oh so good.

happy happy saturday

ok i admit it , i'm a slacker

normally i don't go this long without posting unless i'm without internet-- or something is wrong. well, rest assured, nothing is wrong. i have just been busy-- and recovering. i have been sore as hell since cleaning out the garage. i just cannot imagine what i might feel like had i had to do that alone. thank God for angie . i have everyday pain anyhow-- but i swear-- this has been extra bad-- and i am so NOT looking forward to packing and moving this house-- which is a three bedroom-- but the size - with the furniture-- of a four bedroom , due to my office. ugh. the thought alone scares me.

anyhow-- moving on to bigger and better things ;))
guess who won the 'biggest loser contest' at work? you guessed huh? pretty easy since i don't have a job eh? yep, soulman wON!!! wo hoo ! but i betchya can't guess how much he lost? the contest lasted about three months--- he lost --- dah dah dah---
fifty one pounds !!!!!!! as in 51 !!!!! in three months. that is just insane. we are so proud of him. he is still shootin for another thirty pounds on his own. i'm sure he can do it. that would put him not much over what he was when we met.. but ya gotta give a guy some lee-way for age, and the ole marriage excuse right? regardless, i am amazed at the effort he put into this whole thing. he feels so much better, and looks really good. once i get a new pic of him, i shall put before and afters up-- you too will be amazed.

as for me--- i'm still totin the extra 20 pounds from nowhere. can't lose an ounce. i'll weigh one day and think i lost 5 pounds-- 2 or 3 days later i weigh again.. and voila-- it's baaaack. maybe forever. dammit.

about the house hunting, i think it's over-- we are putting in an offer on one today after hubby gets home from work. it's a nice house. pix will come when i get a chance. the price is right-- we like it-- i have my doubts about the stairs.. but i can deal with them for a while i'm sure.

well, i think that's about all the updating i can think of for now-- i got thangs to do before i get my child.
i'll be back.
question is-- will you be here?
or has facebook killed blogland?
anyhow-- have happy fridays...

did somebody say schleprock?

so--- soul takes angie fishing. angie gets her line hung up-- for , oh, maybe the third time. so i go over to get it out. i was feelin pretty confident-- i'd gotten her un-snagged a couple times already by then. but whaddaya think happens? i don't know how -- or why.. but -- well... a picture is worth 1000 words right? so have a look---
THIS -- happened --

i don't really know how or why--
the slope is not wet -
it's not even sloped for that matter -
i was just pullin on her line and trying to get her out of the snag-
and oops!
into the pond i went.

that was definitely a kodak moment. so what does angie do? she leaves me faltering in the pond as i try to get my uncooridated self up- and out, and the now floating away rod as well. while she goes to get the camera ! neither of us could help but to laugh.
we laughed a lot over this. we laughed throughout the time it took me to unsnag the line and get out of the pond. we laughed throughout the day as we would think about it. we laughed as we told soulman about it. it was just funny. especially when she asked if i had my phone on my while i was in the water. i was like---oh crap! i began pulling things out of my pockets and tossing them onto the bank... my ruined phone-- my soaked wallet-- which held a perscription--oops-- my cigs and soaked , non working lighter. did i get mad, or bitch? nah. too funny. there was only a guy and his young daughter there feeding ducks-- and an old man walking around. not sure if anyone saw this. but yep-- it was a moment. a day long moment.
hey-- i never once said i was graceful.


after that little incident-- i obviously had to go home and shower. the water was most not smell good. and a little cold too. not to mention my entire backside being mossy/muddy. so she drove while i sat on a floor mat on my seat.
we got home, i got cleaned up-- and we decided to go to the creek and check out the fishin there. we only made a drive by-- it didn't look too good after so much rain lately. so we kept goin and went on to the other pond that i normally fish at. we each got a few bites.. but no fishies. (oh i did get a small one before i fell in at the other place-- just not worth a pic.) -- at this pond, they were biting, we just couldn't get em. so i knew they would go after somethin..i just didn't what somethin it would be. i finally tried a drop shot-- and i got me one. not great , but a fish. i felt bad for angie-- she didn't get one. she did almost get a turtle tho. that was funny-- she was scared and excited at the same time. i wonder what she woulda done had she caught a turtle. i woulda laughed, cuz i think she woulda freaked.

by then soulman called, and we had to go, we had some house-hunting appointmentments set up. good thing angie likes looking at houses. we went and looked at maybe 5 houses. there were like three that all of us liked--and angie approved of :))
but we aren't sure. the one that i really really really want. got three friggin offers over the weekend. ugh. so i have a feelin that one is out. i was a bit crushed about that.
then there was another one-- all of us --plus angie-- said yes to. it's still a possibility.
then the third that we liked ... i am the least to jump on. really there's nothing wrong with it. it's a nice house. it's just that-- most of the house is upstairs. downstairs is nice. but some of upstairs i like too. soooo... i don't know. hubby and soulkid, seem pretty dead set on this one. big yard.. the upstairs really is fantastic. but-- i can't do stairs well. or often. and also the fact that it being a newer house in an older neighborhood- just seems strange. i don't know if that's good or bad. but i'm not sure that i like that.
guess we will see what happens.
i do like the idea of having angies outside opinion on the house thing though. she has come up with some good suggestions on the whole thing while we were looking.
many that i don't think we woulda thought of. plus she is really good with soulkid. messin around with her or not-- she gets her to look at things in a way that we sometimes seem unable to.

i'm so not recovering well from all the work we've done. yes i know-- it was just the garage-- but i swear it has damn near killed me. without angies help i bet i would be bedridden. besides the garage work-- which did i mention was complete in just under 5 hours? it woulda took me a week. even with soulman.. no less than a week.
but i also , falling into the pond , must've fell on a rock, and now my arm and elbow are hurt. ugh. not to mention the rest of me.. even my damn legs, and ankles and feet. i'm too young for this shit.

well anyhow-- not sure what our plans are for her short last day today. her flight leaves at 330-- i spose she has to be at the airport around 230 or so. i imagine we will chill, and just hang out a bit. but ya just never know.

i do hope she can go home and tell people she had a good time. cuz i sure did. even tho i am crippled, and just may be for some time. it's been great havin her here.

eevee hasn't even tried to kill her... that's a good sign .

so. i reckon that's about all i got right now. soulman is takin the kid to school, angie is asleep still-- far as i know-- and if i had my druthers-- i'd be headin back to bed about now myself. i can't tho-- but i bet that's where i'll be at about 4 o'clock today.

c ya later peoples.

well, she isn't dead -- yet- :))

mornin folks--

angie is a ball of thunder-- i am the weak streak of lightening that follows. (i know that's backwards-- but it's the only comparison i could come up with right now.) and i couldn't think of the poetic term i wanted to either. i just can't think at all right now. i don't know if i'll ever recover from yesterday. we busted our asses , and even recruited soulman. i'm surprised any of us are on our feet today. well , except angie. she's in pretty good shape i must say. i'm rather jealous actually.
i cannot believe how much work we got done in that garage ... angie and i moved, sifted , sorted , condensed, etc... and hubby made storage runs-- put the garage stuff we didn't need here in storage-- and then brought the boat here---it actually fit in the garage-- unfortunatly-- my car does not... but that's alright. i feel so much better about everything we got done , and got rid of. we put furniture and stuff on the curb..for free pick up-- and we had a pile of stuff for a goodwill run... many people stopped, and most of all of it was picked up. phew. i haven't been out yet this morning-- but i have a good feelin that all of it is gone now.
which leaves us with one one dump run, for the trash that we didn't have time to haul off yesterday. woo hoo!

ok here's the pix-- all except the one with the boat in it.. cuz i was just too damn tired to do one more thing last night... and right now , angie and i are just about to head out to to the pond-- wish her luck-- i don't even care if i catch any-- i just hope she gets a good one-- or two.

ok .. here ya go--

(ready for the finished product?)
da, da , da!!!

ok.. we are outta heah----- be back latah-- hope fully with fish pix....
latah tatahs--
-

it's not still wednesday, couldn't tell by lookin

howdy folks.

sorry i haven't been around much. we've had storms, and power outages, and other stuff goin on for days here. figures it would be the days that i was "supposed " to be getting ready for angie. i ended up with up with two doctors appointments, wet muddy dogs making it impossible to clean my floors. hubby working what seems to be the longest week he's worked in months, just when i needed his help the most--- which leaves a lot undone... not that a oversoaked, overgrown back yard could be cut and cleaned up in this condition anyhow. but i needed him to help me do some major grocery shopping.. and he hasn't been available to carry the crap. so i haven't gone.
i managed a bunch of laundry and dishes, and the fridge and basic crap to look presentable. but presentable is not the look i was goin for. i don't suppose it will matter once she sees the garage anyhow. that's where we plan to work and sift and declutter anyhow. i betya it's a 75 percent dump/goodwill run anyways. but i bet it's just not what sh'se used to seeing. but somehow , every garage we ever have ends up lookin like that. (don't blame me.. i know how to find a trash can!)

i made an appointment early in the week to have eevee bathed and brushed out-- she was blowin her coat-- everywhere. i do mean everywhere. that night i looked at her-- she looked like she lost ten pounds-- i don't know how, but her shedding problem was all of the sudden minimal. the big balls of hair were gone and she just didn't need the major grooming session that usually costs 40 dollars. so i cancelled it-- with hubby saying HE would bathe and brush her. BUT-- has he had time? noooooo. he may have-- if it hadn't rained every night this week. he sure can't do it in the shower-- we'd be callin someone out to snake the pipes soon afterwards if he did. so, even though she isn't blowin pounds of hair all over the house every hour.. she still needs the loose hair brushed out and a bath.

speaking of animals in need of a bath--- has anybody ever seen a cat with dreadlocks?
OMG--- jitterbug--- i swear-- she has dreadlocks at her back end-- she's to fat to reach back that far-- and her is a tangled dreadlock disaster !!! i've never seen anything like it on a cat in my life. she used to be a normal cat until she got fixed three or four years ago-- within a couple months she exploded, and musta gained fifteen pounds. she is gigantoid. i wonder sometimes if she didn't get some kind of tumor or somethin... but she eats like a pig..so i assume she's healthy. just fat.

spot-- she got fixed the same day-- what happened to her? her personality changed. from wicked, mean, and nasty, to sweet as pie. she's very shy. but before she got fixed she had a hate like no other for soulman, and sometimes for even me-- but as for soulman, she tried to kill him a few times. she got fixed...now she cuddles with him. very strange.

sushi is next on the chopping block-- if i ever get off my laze and get her scheduled to get in there. she really needs to get fixed before her next heat cycle. the next will be her fourth i think-- if not her fifth. and i hear the more they have without breeding-- the worse it is for them. and we have finally decided there will be no breeding for her. so it's time. i really hope she has no weird personality changes. we love her just as she is. and if she gains any more weight , she'll pop like a tick. poor doggy.

as for eevee, she still hasn't seen another vet. she was supposed to get a second opinion on her breast tumor. all i have to say to that--- we're busy people. we'll get to all this. in time.

oh and as for my own second opinion on my own shady mamogram and ultrasound i had a little while back. it was easy to push that to the back of my mind--- until recently-- a fire was lit under my ass-- i will be lookin into gettin that checked out soon... well, soon as i get to it on my list.

as for med stuff.. my neuro doc-- who has been very graceous with my pain meds for maybe close to 8 months or so-- pulled the rug out from under me. passed his limit of comfortability i guess. he says he can't be a pain management dr for me. ugh. so now-- i had to call a pain mgmt. dr. and now am waiting for them to call, after rcvng. my records, and get me in there. and y'all know how i am about that. i have it all worked out in my head that that will be a big ole mess, with a big ole messy ending. i am not looking forward to it. do i wanna deal with VA for pain meds? it might be easier. but i swear-- i have a panic attack every single time i drive out there. ugh.

he really really picked a bad time to do this to me. right at packing/moving time. i explained that to him when i saw him the other day-- told him there is no way that i am will get into, and evaluated by a new dr by the time i run out of pain meds while i'm packing, etc ..... but === he's done. only with the meds tho. he is sending me for labs, and other tests. still digging deeper. we both know -- there is more that one reason i have such pain. and why it changes , and worsens, etc. i'll be getting the (12) lab tests after angie leaves.

speaking of angie-- she will be here today-- i think i mentioned that-- even tho my house isn't ready-- i have time to finish up some things before she gets here-- and i really don't think she's gonna care. if she does we'll hang out out in her room...or my office...they're clean and comfy rooms. if i aint sleepin-- i live in my office anyways.
well.. that is if i'm not friggin sleepin. ugh. wth? i wish i wasn't sleepin so damn much.
i've pin pointed it to stress-- yep the ole standby---- or thyroid. or ya know-- it could even be the damn pain. pain will wear your ass right out.
i was talkin to a buddy of mine last night-- i told her i sure hope i can stay awake when angie is here--- what if i get her home and i say hi angie-- make yourself yourself at home-- i'm goin to bed-- see ya in about five hours.
good lord-- if that happens ...i'm jumpin off a bridge!
we have plans dammit---

ok.. my memory is shot peeps.. i have no idea what i just blabbed about for the last hour-- but i will bore you no more. i need more coffee... and i gotta get my damned barkin dawgs inside.
after that-- it's workin, and shoppin and car washin and whatever else i can think of for me.
angie will be here at 4. woo hoo!

we shall post pics of my before and after sty. and if she's up for it-- her fishin , and her free hugs thing she does. yep-- you wouldn't catch me doin it-- but she's a hugger.

later peeps.

still wednesday---

ok, so y'all aren't in the fishin mood today. how bout we talk about email for a sec?
if i owe you an email, and you haven't heard from me... this might be why...
i copied this from my first page of my inbox :

Messages 1-50 of 2532.

that's right-- you didn't read it wrong. that is how many emails are waiting for attention in my in-box. lazy much? it has gotten so out of hand i can't even face it now. i just flag them, intending on "gettin to em later" .... well, it is just at the point of no return now. along with being downright wrong , and neglectful. if i didn't have bills and receipts etc in there... i'd just hit the delete button about thirty times-- and apologize to whoever deserves it-- which is almost everyone i know. then i would start fresh-- i would hope.... with an empty in-box that i could actually manage.
if it helps at all--- i fell behind when my lung exploded -- (did it help?) ya, i didn't think so. i spose i just lack in the keeping up with my peeps department.
anyhow--- i've been trying lately to keep up better-- if you've noticed? if it matters.
even if it doesn't i still apologize.

ok...anyhow-- what else? i'm sure that's more than enough of that.

anyone here from Michigan? i know some of ya know angie. she's my friend from up there. she's comin out here to roast real soon.. oh i mean to visit. it will be our first time meeting in person. from what i know of her so far from blogs, email and such... she seems like a most awesome and interesting person. not sure if ya know this-- but she is a rocket scientist. for real. that is just cool to me. i don't know if it's the aircraft mechanic in me-- or if it's just something that fascinates me. (that kinda stuff always has really, since i was a kid. when i got out of the navy i applied for a job in california to work with the space shuttle..not on the crew of course-- but for the supply or maintenance crew-- but that of course didn't work out. they don't hire fishing sloths.
but anyhow-- the original invitation for her to come out here involved a job-- of helping me sort and pack , and dispose of many things in my garage-- and some other areas --as we are getting ready to move , and buy a house real soon. i was actually surprised when she said yes-- and so quickly too. i have given her many outs on the working part of her visit, as it is only a few days-- i would much rather play while she's here... but she is dead set on helping me get stuff done-- so that's what we'll do. but bygummit-- we will find time to let her get her a big ole texas bass before she leaves.
ooops, more fish i forgot y'all weren't in the fish mood.. cept motha.... she loves me. :))
i fish, therefore, i am.
i am what?
senile?
a sloth?
late -- again? yes that's it- i gotta go to the doctah.

that's prolly a good thing-- cuz i just can't keep my head screwed on straight today. i have scrambled eggs up there today. too much on my mind. even with a list, i can't figure out what i'm supposed to be doin. i think i just need to go fishin. i been wanting to all day long. it's a perfect day for it. but i have been too busy.

ok-- i need to get goin.

i'll be around later on.

OMG

i was sittin here -- payin bills, catchin facebook messages as they came in, just mindin my own business... when i came across

THIS:

Fishing at Lake Fork, Texas with Guide Robert Littlejohn, Josh KuyKendall caught this monster bass. It weighed 13.2 lbs, was 26 inches long and had a 22 in. girth. It was caught June 5, 2009 at 9:00 pm.

(y'all KNOW that's my dream bass!!!!!)

ok-- i will release you to your regularly scheduled day -- for now. i shall return, when i am done with my "stuff".

laterz taterz

MISC. MORNING BLABBERING

that was then.
who woulda ever thought that this
little dude woulda turned into

THIS little guy?
not so little eh?

but, this is now.

aren't they adorable?

and hopefully
happiness forever.

(did i cry when i saw the pix?
i'll never tell. :))

ok.. on to other things.... someone mentioned they hoped i could sleep off yesterdays migraine. well.. did i? you betchya! i slept from about about 1230 or 1 until... this morning at like 7 a.m. !! the migraine is gone -- but now i can't move for the friggin back and neck pain. someone really just nees to take me out and shoot me like some ole glue factory horse--- i aint worth anymor than that lately.
these past four days our so -- i am totally useless. the pain and tiredness is killin me.
and i really don't know why i'm so dang tired. i've been sleeping pretty good at night--- but i have been sleeping for hours during the day too. and this is the week i really need to be cleaning my house-- to make it presentable for company! i have been overcome by pain this week though, maybe that has somethin to do with it-- i had three migraine days in a row-- cramps-- and back pain. four days of pure hell.

ok... whine fest over.

oh-- summer school... i don't even remember if i mentioned the outcome of that-- it's a yes. she started yesterday. good thing tho? somehow, i got out of paying this time. i don't know how-- i think it has something to do with her not attending the full year. as she was enrolled and disenrolled a couple times. anyhow-- otherwise i woulda had to pay like 200.00. ugh. thank God for small..ok big.. favors. so yep-- 7:50- noon for three weeks. she was pretty upset at first -- obviously. but after realizing, that she would have a chance at catching up-- if she actually worked hard-- if she did her work in summer school-- and one semester at this school next year-- she would actually be able to NOT repeat the full 9th grade next year. she could just do one semester-- or less, as they work at their own pace at this school. she could move into the tenth grade as soon as she was caught up. it wouldn't work that way if she went into 9th at a regular school next year. partly, because she wouldn't have the same motivation, and partly because it just wouldn't work that way. so by the 10th grade golden carrot being dangled in front of her-- i think she will work hard, and do well. at least i hope so. i also think she is finally accepting responsibility for where she's at right now. she messed up and she knows it. we did more than our part to help her. it's her turn now. and other than school.. she is doing good for now-- and lately. so i'm just gonna do what i can, and the rest is her responsibility.

well, hmmmm... it kinda sucks when ya sleep half your life away-- i don't think i have much else to say right now. i do have a ton of laundry to do though.. along with other housework. my fridge is still sparklin clean..and mostly empty :)) i need to get groceries, and do what cleaning i can before i suffer the mysterious burnout.
really the nap thing used to be a way of life for me, but this is gettin bad lately. no way should i be sleepin 14 hours straight.. it's only been that bad a few times... but that is just wrong. and four or five hour naps? not likin that either. i even switched my meds around the the drowsy ones i take at night.. and a few nights i have even been-- or fallen asleep without them... it's been literally years since i've slept through the night without meds. WTH? if i hadn't gained all this weight i'd be thinkin i might need to see a doctor... but i'm too fat to be sick. what to do, what to do.

anyhow peeps... i'll get into my comment boxes and reply real quick, then i gotta get some work done before i gotta go get my child.

happy tuesday!

todays post is comin up later on

i feel like crap--- i have a migraine-- and i can't see out of one eye (because of the migraine)
i have new wedding pix to post-- they looked mahvelous. sucks we didn't get to go.
*tear*
catch ya later.
have happy days.

things that make ya go hmmmmmmm- and stuff

i am now an aunt in law--- my youngest nephew got married yesterday--- congrats to him and the new bride. this is the only wedding pic i have seen so far. and i only saw it cuz i stumbled upon it on facebook/ boy, i sure feel special. i haven't seen the bride and- or groom yet. but these guys sure look nice. don't they?
the one on the left, that's my eldest nephew-- the one on the right-- he's the middle nephew-- and the one in the middle-- i do not know. and , like i said , the baby, was married.
the only pic i found of him was this one :)) it makes me laugh.. because my pre-wedding pic that was taken of me, was a little similar to this one-- i'm not sure who he was -- if anyone-- emailing or talkin to-- but in mine-- i was also sittin on the bed, half ready, lookin likea nervous wreck, toothbrush in my mouth, and talking to my dad on the phone. i don't know where that pic is-- or i would post them together-- but here he is--

it's hard to believe that he's married now. even if it has only been a day.
all these boys just feel like my own. i love them so much-- the sad thing is-- i have missed so much of them growing up. i spent a lot of their younger lives with them.. living with them, visiting them. etc. but as time went by-- and especially when i joined the navy-- i began to miss more and more. and now that they are grown, it's near impossible to even see them once a year.

we really wanted to go to the wedding. my daughter was even supposed to be -- i don't even know what she was to be called-- not a brides maid-- is it? i don't know. but she was so looking forward to it-- and so proud to have been asked . but for us to be saving money for a house-- it just couldn't be done. not with flight prices, and hotel, and a car, and food. ugh. it broke her heart-- and ours to not be able to go-- especially since in the beginning, a few months ago-- we thought , and planned on going.

i didn't have the opportunity to see any of these boys graduate high school, and now i have missed the firsts wedding. i sure do love them though.. i just hope they all know how much. sometimes things just get in the way.

anyhow-- as soon as someone sends me a photo of the dressed up bride and groom.. i will post it. and i bet i will cry.
hmmmmm.

so. hmmmm-ing on.
yesterday, we did go house-hunting. AND fishing. AND the soul-child was set free. just like i knew she would be. she was un-grounded for good behavior. :)) the kid actually cleaned-- i was shocked.

things that make ya go hmmmm, eh?

so-- about the houses first huh-- we saw some really nice nice ones. i flat fell in love with on of em. i was totally shocked at the price too. bad thing first-- it was a two story. i don't do stairs well. (physically). and most of the house was upstairs. not much i would really need to use though-- except -- for a fee..... you could get a "media room. it was so awesome. and as many movies as i like to watch, i woulda really liked to have it. not sure if we could have afforded it... but i woulda sure tried. anyhow-- upstairs, was, an extra living room...or a game room, whichever ya wanted to make it-- but it was loft like-- not closed off to the down-stairs. but it was really nice. it of course had railings so no one could fall off, but music, or a loud tv, or something woulda been bothersome to downstairs. it was just really nice though. also up there was three bedrooms, and the media room. and a full bathroom. downstairs was of course the living room, kitchen-- i loved the way the kitchen was set up.. there was also a front room that looked out FRONT-- that is so difficult to find here for some reason. they build houses so stupid here. but my first thought was THAT IS MY OFFICE. perfect size-- nice windows.. my stuff woulda fit great in there and looked good too (being the first room ya see when ya walk in)-- it also had a little "mud room, and a nice sized laundry room... mine here is so small..i hate to even walk in it. the master bath was downstairs-- which is a MUST HAVE IF we end up with a upstairs or a loft style anyhow. it had a great closet-and was bigger than the one we have now. we would have room for a chair or loveseat to watch tv or read. it had a dining area with lots of windows... it was just soooo awesome. we walked through it like three times. but we kept thinkin it just has to be waaay over our budget. it must be around 250-300,000. we finally got the nerve to ask. it was 158,580. i couldn't believe it. (the media room added an extra 11,000---which is over our loan amount---so it's kinda iffy. well...very iffy...unless we could have em build it to where that could still be built on later.
BUT--- we decided to pass. but it's a gorgeous home, and i would love to have it-- media room and all. it's just a damn good thing we hadn't been approved for the loan yet-- or i woulda jumped all over it. --- it's just in the wrong area for us. ugh.
i gotta say-- it's the nicest house i ever could actually see us livin in. the price was more than shocking. brand new. not even built. it'd be four months out to be built.
ugh.
hmmmmmmmm.

so anyhow-- we drove a lot lookin at houses, and did see other nice ones that we looked. but that house really spoiled me. we did see another one in our price range that i really liked-- the back yard was gorgeous, actually landscaped... we have always had crappy yards. always. patchy grass. dead grass. no grass. cannis over growth. this yard took my breath away. the paint scheme-- yes they actually had colors-- every room was different--and so pretty, i almost fainted. i don't have the ,mind to come up with that kinda thing-- nor do i have the physical strength these days to paint one room, much less a entire house. but i loved it. i coulda jumped on that one too-- BUT-- we decided the rooms were a bit too small. we woulda even had to sell our king bed and go back to a queen if we got that one. so we decided naaaah.

anyhow-- we did see a lot of houses, and several we liked, but i think we need to keep lookin. there is an area near hubbys work..which is also near most of my dr's , that i have really liked since we moved here , way back in 99.. we need to look over there. we keep thinkin, we have to keep soulkid in her school district. well i came to the decision yesterday-- screw her school district-- this area is where she almost killed herself, went to jail, etc etc etc. she won't even live there but a few years. we need to look for a house that WE are gonna live forever--- she'll just have to deal with it.
hmmmmmmmm.

oh.. as far as fishin.. we let the kid spend the night with a friend and go to the mall, and all that girlie stuff... and we went fishin. i don't know where we found the energy-- but we did. we fished for a couple hours, and caught nuthing. our pond sucks anymore. time to find a new one. i think next time i go i will go back to where i broke my rod . there's big fish in there still. and they have my name on em. we have also decided that when we get on the boat-- prolly when angie comes -- hopefully we'll get some nice fish then and we'll bring em back and stick them in the pond. some jerk -- or jerks have been keeping them..and i'm just broken hearted about that. the fishin just stinks there anymore. no more four pounders . i hope whoever kept em got mercury poisoning--well, as long as it didn't kill em. just the poops or somethin ya know.
hmmmmm.

i think that about catches yall up. oh cept tomorrow we find out for sure about summer school. i shall let ya know if i hang the kid from the town clock or not.
hmmmm.

damn...i just realized the time--- i haven't eaten today and i am starved! someone come take me out to eat!!!
:))

hope y'all had great days today.
mines about over.
i have cramps and i am lazy---

i rule this house with an iron paperclip - dammit

and i demand respect. is it any wonder that i don't get any? ya, i didn't think so.

i spent half the day yesterday working -- in the house, and on business stuff. but early on in the midst of my business calls, i got some , well , messed up news. which really wouldn't have bothered me -- much -- if i wouldn't have been lied to about it like a week ago. but i was. so when i was told about it over the phone -- let's just say i came unglued. oh, well.. you prolly need more info don't you? well.. soulkid has gone to summer school for like the last two years -- we're used to it, she should be used to it-- it just seems to be the way things go. if she would have told me about it, i woulda just said bummer, how much does it cost, and i woulda sucked it up, and made any future plans for the month around it. just like always. BUT... that isn't how it happened.
she came up with a story about it being optional, and costing 150.00 per class, and also said she did not have to go, since she would not be going to this same school next year. y'all know how cheapskate i am. i was just glad we wouldn't have to fork over like 600.00 smackers for three weeks of summer school. so i didn't bring it up again.
dum, dum, dum.... til yesterday on the phone. when the lady asked me-- will she be attending the summer program? i say... no....ummm, well... does she have to? she says, let me check her records--- yes, yes she does. i said was a letter sent home for me to sign??? --- yes a form was sent home , about a week ago. --- oh, reallllly??
i was getting madder and madder by the second. the reason i was calling in the first place? was to get her papers-- so that she could go to drivers ed. once again, i find out something negative-- trying to do something FOR her. it was just like the times i would go in her room to get towels or laundry-- and find -- "other things".
i also found out that her grades and attendance may prevent her from even getting to go to drivers ed. ERG. not, a nice phone call... but i was able to keep my composure. so i spose we could say at least I am getting better through all this shit.
BUT when i called her out to confront her with it??? it did NOT go as smoothly.
why i expected it to--- i have no idea.
it wasn't the summer school that upset me. she can go to summer school for the rest of her life for all i care-- next year she may have a job-- if that's the case-- she can even pay for it herself. the part that had me upset ? she lied. and the lieing is a huge part of what we are trying to put a stop to around her after all we have gone through this past year. we will never get this family back on its feet if the bs lieing continues.
i was highly pissed.
so i get her out here-- and i grounded her-- not for summer school--- but for lieing about it. for threading her little tale about it. and for "losing" the form that was sent home.
let the yelling begin.--- not by me. i was cool as a cucumber. until she she dropped the F - bomb-- at me.
i fired back-- she fired back--
i sent her outta here with a list of chores to do---
and need i say--- that NOT ONE THING on that list was done???
i'm not surprised.

then later when dad got home-- i thought he might "talk to her"
but he's of course her ali. he talked to her about fighting with me-- but nothing else.

then later-- like really late-- 1 a.m. one of her friends father was arrested-- yes arrested-- i don't know-- for a warrent or something. i don't know how long he will be in jail... but the little brother and sister got picked up by mom who lives somewhere else-- guess who has the friend-- yep , you guessed it. we inherited a kid. WTH??
i do not mind helping out at all-- don't take that wrong. but what i'm saying is-- with one of her best friends LIVING here? wth kinda grounding is that?? how the hell am i to expect her to get one lick of chores done???

AND i have angie coming... i want my house to be clean... two teens here? omg-- mine is messy enough-- if the other stays that long-- ???? angie will walk straight into hell.
but-- that part can't be helped. the extra kid i mean. the mess? i'm gonna have to find a backbone. too bad it's frickin broke! it aint yellow--- really. i just don't have the strength to argue all day.

sooooo... that was my yesterday---
i really wanted to get the hell outta here today and fish some in the peace and quiet--
but hubby wants to house hunt-- just drive around and look.. so i think we're headed out to do that.

GAWD i hate waiting to hear about this loan. why do they take so frickin long??
i'm havin a nervous breakdown.
not for real peeps.. calm down. i'm ok. just stressed a little.

'll talk to ya lata...

oh it just keeps gettin better

this day started out fairly well...
but now, i think it's safe to say--- it just can't get much worse.

well... maybe if i was abducted, and probed by aliens.
eeewwweee.
i need a nap.
maybe after--or if i do my dishes.
ugh.

btw
happy friday y'all

oh really ?

well, i got your gramma right here --



would y'all believe, i went into school today, to get my child... my FIFTEEN year old child.... and the lady there, asked me if i was mom, OR "Gramma"? UGH. ERG!
i actually uttered the words of shock... OH...MY...GAWD. i'm her mom. i nearly fainted. i really must look like utter hell. gramma? never in my life has anyone asked if i was ANYONES gramma. i am truly OLD.
would you like to hear what's funny about this? just last night hubby was telling me that before he had lost weight-- he is really close to forty pounds now. which is really awesome for him. but anyhow--- he said people would guess his age closer to fifty-- recently when his age is guessed it has been more often than not in his mid to late thirties. he really is lookin tons better-- feelin better-- and i have noticed, he has stopped snoring--and his rosacia has cleared up .
sooooo--- while he's gettin all skinny and young lookin---- what am i doin? i'm gettin fat and old and granny like. somebody just kill me now.
holy crap i'm livin a nightmare.
pass the moo moo- and pink hair curlers -- don't forget the pink fluffy slippers, and black poodle with the crusty eyes.
i think i'll take a pain pill now that my back is all tied in knots ---- just in time for wally hell.
what a fine day this is.
hope y'alls is better---
why don't ya tell me about it... ?

school is out here tomorrow-- how bout at your place--if ya got kids?

fact-fiction- superstitions - or just plane weird

once upon a time ,i was eight months pregnant, when standing in line at a store, paying for a few items i noticed someone i know standing behind me. We began to talk to each other. small talk at first. She and the - also pregnant friend she is with, are on their way to see a movie at the theater. it just so happens to be a movie i had recently seen; about a pregnant woman, on a passenger ship, set back a hundred years or so, similar to The Titanic, but not. the entire thing was about babies; the conversation, the "characters, and the items being purchased by all of us. as i realized our conversation was holding up the line at the cashier , i grabbed up my bag, and began to walk away, all saying our goodbyes, and see ya laters etc. when i heard something fall. - my phone? the tv remote? i fumbled for what fell on the ground, it was the remote... barely visible, i saw the 3:23 a.m on the clock. and i was up. you just don't understand how happy i was to find that i was dreaming! but no more sleepin after that.
it's been thundering outside ever since. loud--rollin, clappin thunder.

i wonder just what kind of day lies ahead of me.

so far, it all seems kinda strange.

what did you dream about?????