livin on some real messed up time - and stuff

or maybe i'm just livin real messed up?? who knows? not i.
i think i wrote it somewhere-- but i guess it may have been facebook-- anyhow-- the house people denied our offer-- now we are trying to decide what to do. do we counter their counter? or do we tell them to pack sand? we offered only a few thousand less than asking price, and asked for closing costs. they came back-- actually the wife did--- apparently something we didn't know til yesterday-- there have been several offers on that house and she has turned them all down..like four--maybe five of them. so it's not just us. and what's weird? that house is paid off--free and clear. a few grand isn't gonna hurt them a bit. so WTH? the real estate lady said if not for the wife, she coulda sold that house ten times. the man is very nice, and would have sold it by now for sure. but because of her not budging, everyone tells them to fuck off, and they walk. this is a buyers market, and no one is gonna spend money they don't have to.

hubby and i spent hours last night trying to decide what we should do-- their counter? they said if we pay like 2500.00 MORE than the asking price-- which, let me tell you-- is a couple thousand over our loan amount--- PLUS anything above four percent of closing costs.. ( which we were told is usually 6% of selling price..but hell i don't know_ then they will sell it to us. well, what if it doesn't even appraise for that amount? and-- just how are we supposed to come up with that kinda money--PLUS pay an appraiser--and an inspector?? i'm not seein it in my crystal ball. are you?
yep, i didn't think so.

maybe it's just not meant to be. that's what i was saying all along-- if this one falls through there are houses everywhere trying to sell. and there are. houses without stairs. hell i don't know. hubby is already set on THIS house. and anyone who knows him...when he is set on something-- he makes it happen. i just follow along to shelter myself from the fallout. the thing that makes this even harder? is soulkid loves the place too. and any of y'all who have been around a while-- you know-- i live my life for those i love. to be honest-- i am settling for this house. IF we get it. just because they love it. of course there are things i like - or maybe even love about it--- but i do not love the thought that most of the house-- the better part no less, is up-stairs. y'all just wouldn't understand the dread i have of those stairs. could be months, could be years --- but it won't be long before i won't be able to go up there at all. the way my back and legs have been this past few weeks --- ugh. it's affecting my mind. not to the point of visiting the loony bin or anything... but it is affecting my quality of life. i live on a frickin heating pad. this crap, it wears me down faster than it ever has. and my fuckin neurologist givin up on me just makes it worse.

they say bad shit comes in threes-- well let's try fours-- or even tens. and i don't even know if that's enough. i lost count. y'all just wouldn't believe the shit that happened over the weekend.

maybe there is somethin to the damn 333 thing afterall. some stuffi just can't say on here-- a while back i woulda blabbed my head off-- but i won't now. i can't. it involves other people, and i have no right to put that kinda stuff on here. but let's just say it aint pretty. and it's kinda painful-- not in the physical sense. it doesn't make sense, and i can't like it!

one thing i can share-- only because she blogged about it--- some of you may not even know her--and if you do or you don't , i hope you go say hello to mary at "pathways"-- over there -----> and wish her well.... she's been a long time friend of mine, and has recently found out that she has malignant breast cancer! surgery is imminent. she is a tough ole redneck, and i love her dearly, she is being strong as she can be right now, but as fast as the dr's and surgeons are moving on this... i am extremely worried about her. whether you know her or not--please pray for her.
i actually have a good feeling that she will be ok-- maybe it's faith-- that i thought i thought was lost , but y'all know my luck with "people"-- they leave-- or -- well, worse. but- i'm not even gonna think that way . the worst thing about this? there is a possibility that both breasts are involved. i so pray NOT. you do the same .
and not to be preachy-- but, remember the scripture ? --
"where two or more are gathered in HIS name.. I will be there"
i believe that. i've seen it-- and so have you.

so anyhow-- let's talk about fathers day-- i will say it coulda been better (a whole lot better) for the ole soulman. he was ok, and did enjoy it the best he could.. but this is where the a lot of the more serious of the bad crap came in to play--
1- the "bad-ish" news on the house.
2- the "soulcalamatychild" dropped her BRAND NEW UNINSURED phone out of her pocket while running across the street !!! by the time she had a chance to get it? it had been run over! she thought that the fathers day card that she had gone out in the first place to buy for him would make up for it--- but noooo--- he was so pissed he was just sick about it. (finally , after over ten, maybe 11 years with a cell company we absolutely hated, our contract was finally UP--so he, only days earlier got all of us new phones--all uninsured... uugh...don't ask me why-- and she drops it in the middle of a six lane road!)
i just can't tell you how many phones she has lost, or broken just in the last two years... that were insured. and replaced. at 50.00 EACH. the last one-- it wasn't her fault , except for the fact that she let a friend use it at the mall, and the friend lost it-- she promised to pay-- and hasn't--- and we don't expect her (parents) to. and as far as that goes, i spoke with her dad over a month ago-- he promised me.. promised! -- that he would pay me THAT night. HFCow. did he? hell no. haven't seen a dime. the friend did give her a POS used/ancient phone to use... but that does NOT cover a 150.00 phone that she lost at the mall.
i did get her a trac phone , but that just wasn't good enough for the little princess; but she had used the insurance like three times in as many months already--we couldn't dare use the insurance again, we would have been accused of some kind of fraud. ERG. fifteen years old.. and too immature to take care of A phone-- much less six or seven. maybe she'll learn her lesson now-- cuz it just aint happenin. she is not gettin another one now. if she does, it won't be anything like that one. it'll be like the one i used for about the last four years -- a basic ugly simple talk/text only phone. no fancy glitz and glamor for her this time. OMG, i'm havin a damn stroke just thinkin about it.

3. i think. this one coulda been that the soulman realized the other day that he's been drivin around with an expired inspection sticker for like two months. has he had time to take it in? well of course not. no one has had time for shit around here.

PLUS -- this past week as he fed his cravings that he has missed out on the last three months or so -- he feels horrible. his reflux is killing him. and he just feels bad all around. and now-- the stress of all the bullshit here-- ugh. i feel for the poor guy. i think we need to have a fathers day redoux. sometime soon, when things settle down. sounds like a good idea to me.

well anyhow-- i am just about out of time-- i've had calls comin in and out-- one of which believe it or not was the new pain management doc-- i wonder if he'll do shit to help me?? i really have my doubts. but i go in on the 30th. so i shall pass on the news -- or the horror story of that little visit-- whichever, when i know more.

also , i have the ENT appointment for the thyroid crap on --well-- tomorrow. no idea what he will do. i remember liking him. he actually seemed concerned. i do have a lot of thyroid symptoms. i still feel like he should have done the biopsies on the damn nodules then..not wait six--now seven months.. to wait for "changes." three nodules on my thyroid. not one biopsy. now here i am, tired as all get out--and twenty pounds fatter.

have i mentioned that i hate dr's???
have i mentioned that i hate having to see so many of them?

do i even have to mention the fact that i do realize that this is the most crybaby post i've written in some time? i am aware of that. and i apologize. but i really am a crybaby today. for more reasons than i even mentioned. even more than the ones i couldn't mention.

have i mentioned that i apologize for that?
or that if you read this far-- i appreciate it.
and if you survived the read without vomiting or vowing to never return, i appreciate that too.

so , anyhow--- it's already time to go get my kid in like twenty minutes and i haven't accomplished a damn thing.
and i woke up at like 3 somethin a.m. -- after only falling asleep at like 2 ish. what kinda crap is that? that was with meds too!

i have a feelin someone is under too much stress.
there just might be some midnight packin goin on around here soon. when i get like this-- sleep is a word i don't recognize.

so-- i am outta heah....
happiest of mondays to ya...