Blog much? ummm, sometimes.
ok. well, here i am. again. the plan was to put up some photos of diego garcia after i ate dinner. well, that just aint gonna happen tonight. i am too tired to dig out the pics, scan them, upload them, post them, explain them etc etc etc. it exhausts me to even think about it right now.
i will try to get to it tomorrow, just not sure when it will be. because... i have to have an abdominal ultrasound done in the morning. i might have time to do it before i go though, but i'm not sure.
anyhow, that is part one of the doctor update... i have an abdominal ultrasound tomorrow.
then next tuesday i have the upper GI.. the scope in the belly thing.
ya know... i thank God that we have insurance... i really do. but i just can't help but to bitch right now about all the money this shit still ends up costing us. hell, y'all know me..or most of you do... i feel guilty enough to go get a twenty dollar haircut. so what do i do? i wait until i go mental before i spend the money on a haircut. this medical stuff is gonna kill me before it heals me. just in the last three days... on me alone... i have shelled out over 250.00 to doctors and meds. 162.00 of that was TODAY alone. not counting the rx he gave me that i haven't dropped off yet. and tuesday... i have to give the hospital an unknown amount of money. how crazy is that? i agreed to this, and they didn't even know how much i would have to pay! but they got their share. shit. shit shit shit shit shit! BUT... i have to have it done. this could be serious. most people wait two or three months between a consult and the actual scope...and i'm getting in there in five days. and the ultrasound in ONE day?? i've never seen a doctor move so fast. and i have seen MANY doctors. but..... what am i worrying about... oh crap...i have a bleed...they're rushing me into all these tests...oh crap. NOooooo.... i'm worrying about and pissed off about money.
are my priorities screwed up? am i screwed up? am i just overtired? am i just a bitch?
i don't know what to do. i do know that i can't have my coffee in the morning... nothing to eat or drink after midnight. the appt is at 9. i know i will get an awful headache. i never eat in the morning anyhow, but it kills me to not have coffee. and the same goes for tuesday...that appt is at 9 too. UGH> PLUS... i am not supposed to take ANY asperin etc between now and Tuesday! i will be crippled by tuesday without something for pain! WTF!
so anyhow...
i'm just a bit pissed off at the moment...and very tired...and i started a lot but finished little today...so i am in bed..yes i do know how early it is, but i slept like hell last night, and am hoping to make up for it tonight...
so...i shall cruise some blogs...and then i shall ... hopefully sleep.
9 comments:
Oh Sister Soul, and I thought my day sucked... 'til I read about yours. I am so sorry about the crappy tests and especially the money... I know what it's like to deal with nighmare medical expenses and this really isn't something you dare put off. It's important that you get it tracked down so you can get whatever fixed and start to feel BETTER! I just feel bad for you, I'm sure you are feeling plenty down and overwhelmed tonight. Hope it helps just a little if I say that I love ya - and hang in there Soul Sister, 'cuz you are such an important bright spot in my life! Will be praying for you both AM's. Keep ups posted, please.
I have a dentist appointment tomorrow afternoon, but if I survive Mismanagment Meeting, dental tortures will be a piece of cake. :-)
Yeah, ditto for me too... Ya always think your own day is crap,,, till ya look at someone else's. Keep ur chin up. Waiting for ya when ya get back.
do you finally get your crown???
i hope so.
i crown thee - queen soul sistah!
thanks jos.
ttyl
hey yankee..ya snuck right in here... thanks to you too.
i know whatcha both mean about thinking you had it rough til ya hear about someone else. i was all feelin sorry for myself about the medical crap, and the money, and the what i'm gonna have to go without or not pay in orfer to get this other stuff done... THEN i come across a blog.... a lady with NO money, no insurance, no nuthin...has a grape fruit sized tumor ... terminal.
it really made me feel like crap for being on my pity pot.i'll have a few weeks without money or maybe have to go take out a loan... this woman is really screwed. she's lost her job, her home, her physical strength and independence she has nothing.... except the will to live. perhaps that is all we need sometimes huh? maybe so.
i don't know.
i do know one thing... God doesn't give us any more than we can handle.
right? right.
c ya gals.
tahnks for comin by.
Hey....I didn't know you were feelin so down. Been away. I am praying for you, Soul. Whatever is going on with you that will be cleared up. I have been through these tests and the doctors always told me I needed to get rid of the stress!! OK...that's easy enough.
I am praying for a breakthrough in your life and health and finances...Seriously, not just saying it! Love ya, feel better.
Soul, that's scary. I'm sorry you have to go thru this, but hopefully they'll figure out what's wrong so they can fix you up- good as new.
Yeah, out-of-pocket medical expenses totally suck!!!!!!!
thanks gina...ya, i been havin a lot of fatigue..worse than "normal"..and stomach pain, dizziness,nausea, i sleep hours a day...every day. not cuz i want to, i would faint if i didn't. it has been getting worse over the passed few weeks.
i have had these same symptoms before...turned out to be bleeding ulcers, and other problems too. so, the big thing here is a possible bleed, causing the major fatigue and dizziness, etc..and pain.
i guess i will find out soon enough. like i said... i've never been pushed through for these types of tests this fast. it always took at least a couple months...never both in less than a week. weird.
i can only hope that if it is something bad that it isn't too far along. or better yet...it will be like last time and they can fix it on the spot the same day. they just cauterized the blleding ulcers, took a couple biopsies, gave me meds...and voila. (well sorta) but it was not cancer or anything requiring major major stuff.
thanks y'all.
i will let ya know how it goes, but doubt i will have any results tomorrow.
laterz
ERIN! you snuck in right while i was writin to gina. :))
thanks. all this support is great.
i guess it's true..all my friends do live in the computer! i just wish a few of yours were closer to mine. :))
but that;s ok. i can only imagine a few months ago...how freaked out i'd be right now without all of you. i appreciate y'all. know that. ok?
Don't let your fears fuel your imagination, Soul Sis. Let's wait to hear what the doctors says instead of worrying about dire diagnosis. We will believe this is something they can get right on and fix quickly for you. Then you'll be up to more fishing for Grandpa here before the summer ends! Wanna see a pic of that guy with your smiling face in it! :-)
i know jos... i'm tryin. i think most of my anxiety is actually subconscious . like the insomnia etc. sure i'm concerned. but i'm not feeling like oh god i have cancer. ya, i think i may have a bleed, but if so, i feel like they could fix it. hell, i don't know. i'm just glad they're movin fast with it.
and yep... i do wanna go get that big ole grampa bass from that creek. but ya know, the last couple times we've been fishin... i quit early. last time..i LAYED down for the last hour. that just aint me. i hate this.
i wanna know what it is, i wanna know what to about it, and i want it fixed.
is that too much to ask? i don't think so.
thanks for the prayers... i do know they work. i've seen them work before.
ss
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