what the hell just happened?

i mean really. WTF!?

wasn't it just a couple days ago that i was states away from here sittin in my best friends house, feeling at ease, laughing - sarcastically of course - about all the bullshit that life can throw at people. (us, mainly-- cuz most of the time it's just friggin unbelievable for either of us.)

and i'll be damned if if everything didn't go right back to the norm just as quick as the airplane got off the ground. it's just bullshit i say.

i had planned on comin in here and of course bein my sarcastic self - and write some long ass post about the kid gettin sprung from the hoosegow today . she does, but y'all already know--
and yes i'm a nervous wreck. blah-- i'll save it.
i just assume it might end up at some point like a bring your daughter to work day ---

maybe like that poor fellas.
(or not)

but anyways. things are ok here for the moment-- always subject to change at any given moment-- i'll let ya know how that works out.

but - like a boy-scout
i am always prepared.
well.. almost always.

what i wasn't prepared for was some news i recently got --- and i really don't know how to handle it. well cuz, i just don't. i know what i want to do. what i'm willing to do. all that sort of stuff. buuuuut. always a but right? but- i am afraid to act -- due to my fear that i can't be of any help anyhow. or my help isn't wanted in this situation... or maybe it's the timing.

i honestly don't know. i know my heart is always in the right place. but my mouth or actions never fail to screw shit up.

so i reckon i am outta heah ---
hoping y'all have the best day possible in your worlds today=