Thursday, November 20, 2008

anybody got a sugar tit?

howdy folks--
here i am..
days behind on posting-- and over a month on my life. not a good place to be.
i have done a lot these passed couple of days tho playing catch up. but i have overdone it.
last night--well and during the day was awful for me. it was a non-stop day for me. and man i paid for it in a big way at the end of the day. nothing stopped til 9 p.m. that's when i was able to get into my jammies and go to bed... maybe a little later. but i had never been soooo ready for bed. i was mentally and physically whooped. just beat like a stray mutt. i hadn't felt that bad for like three days over the last month. i had to scold myself.
then this morning, soulman came in to wake me up--and my brain is so fried-- for whatever reason-- it really has been gettin worse that ever over the last few weeks-- he comes in to wake me up, because i have to take my child to school today. i was like-- why do i have to get up.? and i wasn't very nice about it either.
man i feel like i been hit by a train this morning. twice. ugh.

but-- on the good side-- i have one bill left that i must go out to pay today. kid to and from school.. and if i really wanted to-- the rest of my list could be put off without too many consequences- til tomorrow.
i do this all the time tho- and i really should know better. when i get down-- either physically or mentally-- the minute i feel the least bit better-- there i go trying to catch up on everything in one day. this is the longest i have been unable to do anything in like ten years. only one other time was i out of commission for over 30 days. and after that-- we moved-- that was a lot easier than all i have to do now. cuz we donated or tossed or sold almost every thing we owned at the time.

if i could do that now-- i prolly would. (sigh)

physically, and y'all know-- it is literally one thing after another with me--- this lung clot really must be the wort physical problem-- longest lasting, scariest, most pissin off, isolating, immobilizing, depressing, life halting, thing i have ever dealt with.
and OMG i can't stand it-- and i thought it was over. i was wrong. i just gotta take it easy for a while longer. no jumpin right back into things just cuz i can move better i guess.

and ya wanna hear about my brain? you know it never has been "right", ever since i started this thing. some of that is my warped sense of humor-- some is just my bad memory/or my senile. but i swear-- ever since the lung clot-- i just have not been the same. i cannot remember stuff. even stuff that my senile would have-- i forget now.

yesterday, i opened a savings account for soulkid--- oh man-- that girl really musta thought i was outta my gourd. (and nope-- it wasn't meds--i hadn't taken many -- maybe 2 , and hours before. ok it was 3-- now that i think of it .. but they were a bit apart-- but still hours before) but i couldn't remember things.. accounts, where money was or wasn't, numbers, etc. then i would try to explain..and talked 100 miles an hour cuz i was embarrassed and nervous for soundin like such a fool. and not remembering. grrrrr. i do it everywhere.

i saw my doc for my blood test-- remember last time i mentioned that? it had dropped to a real loww number-- 1.2 , from 1.9 from a few days before? and i didn't know why?
well i figured out why. cuz i am a dumbass. i have 2 bottles of that med-- warfarin/coumadin= 1mg and 5 mg. so yesterday i go in and it read close to a 5. it 4,6 somethin. the doc asked what did i do so different. i say umm.. i noticed that i was taking the 2 1 mg rather than 2 5 mg, so after i noticed i went to 10 mg a day-- and because i found the mistake i didnt go to 20 like you said. cuz i knew i hadn't been taking enough.
then i got scolded, because now-- i am "over - anti- coagulated". how special. i could bleed to death at any time gilbert. :)) so now it's skip 2 days-- then lower the dose again. gawd i hate takin meds .

then i asked her about the thyroid CT-- she did get it-- and will be scheduling me for a thyroid ultrasound-- they are beter for diagnosing if it is a solid "mass" or fluid filled. if it's fluid filled it is usually "nothin" if it is solid-- it could be "somethin".. i'll let ya know when i know.

i hate waiting--- more so-- i hate PAYIN. i wish i had ten for every hundred i paid to medical shit this year alone. christmas would be covered i bet ya. sickening. i wish i just ditch the docs and let what happens happens. nothin has killed me yet. well--- yes i know.. this last thing may have. but i mean the other stuff.. none of that has killed me yet. well the addisons almost did if they wouldn't have caught that.
ok, not a good idea.


anyhow-- for those i owe visits-- or email-- i really will try to get there today--- cuz i know i won't be doin as much as i planned to today. it is not in me. tomorrow is soulmans' birthday and i can not let myself be all laid up in bed in pain and worn out for that. i still haven't even planned anything-- bought anything.. not even a card. i'm a piss poor wife.

what a damn month it's been.
technically-- if ya toss my kid in there-- it'd make it a helluva 3 months. or more.
me thinks we need another vacation. ugh. yes i know-- i'll keep dreamin-- and y'all do the same.

happy thursday!

18 comments:

Smocha said...

ha ha , pretty funny that we were both posting about our brain damage at the same time.

"jinx"

Hope you get back to normal soon poops.

Love me

CRUSTY MOM-E said...

My tweetie Soul---I wish I could wave a magic wand hot fish fairy and make it go away for you and only give you sunshiny days-_OMG that totally sounded very brady bunch..

The thyroid scan--I JUST Went through this and the process is a pain in the ass, it's long, but it's worth it to get the good news..You may have to have a Fine needle biopsy too, where they aspirate fluid from the nodule to determine if it contains cancerous cells----worst case scenerio is it is thyroid cancer, BUT!!! if anyone ever is go get cancer, thyroid cancer is the cancer you want--it's very treatable like 98% curable, you don't need chemo, the thyroid absorbs radiation so you would be given a radioactive dose and have to stay in the hospital for a few days as you'd be "nuclear" but you can have your thyroid removed and live without it--yes you have to take meds then, but believe me, when I found all that out when it was determined that my nodules were growing, I was quite relieved. Hang in there--like I said, the process of getting the answer is a long process, but worth it--even if you have to have a Fine Needle aspiration--not fun, but if you get lucky you'll get a hottie doccie. :)

BACON! :)
Feel well soon, I'm thinking of you!

And Happy Birthday To Soulman!
Make him a coupon book--that'll bid sometime lol. :)

xoxoxoxoxo,
Elizabeth

CRUSTY MOM-E said...

I just did this with some of my growing medical bills from the cat scan, thyroid scan, ultrasound, biopsies..etc..most hospitals (most people don't know this) can write off patient accounts in good faith to the patient. You call them up and discuss the reasons why you're requesting financial hardship, you express the issues that you've had with the growing medical bills, that you have a daughter that has aquired some medical bills, soulman's hand--another bill--and based on the % of salary, especially towards the end of the year, there are quite a few doc offices and hospitals that have to 'write off' X amount in order to meet accounting..just a thought..

Not trying to tell you what to do, just suggesting it as I tried it as embarassing as it was, but I knew we couldn't afford to pay for the bills with the already medical bills and they were able to write it off due to patient satisfaction--which doesn't hurt your credit.

Want me to call for you? We can conference three way and I'll be your "secretary" :)

XOXOXO,
me

CRUSTY MOM-E said...

oh one more thing..what's a sugar tit?

ac said...

You are killing me over here. I need answers now. ha!

I don't think I can hold my breath until you get the scan done and results back.

But I will try.

In ... 3.... 2... 1..

G U L P

ac said...

Just kidding. You know me. Always messing around.

Seriously though, take it easy today. You did too much yesterday.

And tell Soulman Happy Birthday from me!

If I were there... I'd take you out to get him a card and then come back to your house and bake him a cake while you visited blogs and caught up on email. That's what I would do. :) xoxoxo

Golden To Silver Val said...

We just have to get you set up to pay all your bills online...from the comfort of your own home while wearing jammies! Its the best! Get some rest dear friend...its the best healer there is. Next best healer is laughter. Now is we could just find something funny.........

Charli Henley said...

Hey Soul...

Your posted has reminded me of The Spoon Theory.

You should check it out.

http://butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

I am always wishing for your health and wellness.

SOUL said...

haven't seen your post yet smocha-- i'll be over latah..

i may never see normal again.. wth??

all the new pain is almost gone now tho-- so that much is good.
now it's just my normal everyday pain i'm used to dealin with :{

anyhoo-- what'd you do today?

luv me

SOUL said...

IT'S BACON !!
oink...

yo crusty--

is it my memory? i don't remember you sayin anything about all this stuff with your thyroid... what was the end result for you??? did they take out the nodules? your thyroid? you are ok aren't you??

as for the process being long.. how long did it take for you?
cuz things are moving pretty quickly on my end--- so far.

i had the ultrasound done today. and MAY have the results from that as early as tomorrow or monday.

we shall see.

i have read -- of course you know that by now right? :))
(dr google ya know)
about the needle biopsy etc.
i don't mind needles-- i'm used to them by now. i get stuck almost every other day. well, not in the throat-- but it can't be much different. a needle is a needle is a needle. right?
anyways-- i figure that might be next-- but i don't know a thing at this point.
the tech wouldn't say a thing about a thing.
i asked--
is there more than one?
she said--

all i can tell you is, i'm taking pictures of your thyroid.

i asked how big is it-

she said
all i can tell you is, i'm taking pictures of your thyroid.

i asked something else--got the same answer-- thought to myself---"you worthless bitch"--and kept quiet the rest of the time i was there.

and--about the med bills-- i got a payment plan thing goin on some of them at one hospital.. they combined i think 3 ER visits, and i pay a certain amount every month on that -- but these new ones-- soulkids and mine-- OMG-- they might run us into the poor house---i'm hopin there's a mistake on the insurance side--cuz i just don't see how we can have to pay soooo much for this crap. with insurance.
and besides that-- i read the other day-- just haven't had time to call anyone about it-- i think--if i read it right--and you know i may just be stupid-- but i think with my va disability-- the va may cover emergency room bills.
and inpatient hospital too - so if it is true-- i will be saved. still have soulkids but that will be nothin compared to the two of us. guess i need to get on the phone eh?

anyhow-- --maybe i shoulda emailed this long ass comment?

happy thursday--and soulman said thanks :))

SOUL said...

oh ya crusty--
i tried to find a pic on google-- with no luck.. but a sugar tit is a rag with like a tablespoon of sugar in it and tied off... that back in the day-- like when --say your gramma --was a kid-- people would give babies to suck or chew on..when they were fussy-- like a pacifier-- to calm them or shut em up.

:))

SOUL said...

ACEEEEEEEEEEEEE
i know-- i want answers tewwww... it may not be much longer-- maybe tomorrow or monday-- i will let you know. breathe girl.. :))

and cmon out and drive me and birthday shop--oh yes and bake a cake too--- i haven't baked a cake in... i bet money, at least 5 years or more.

i suck.

i can cook real food --- i'm just not a good dessert person.

anyhow-- hope things are good out your way.

it's blustery here. :((

SOUL said...

hilo charlotte--

i do pay lots of my bills online, some i just can't tho-- and the one today was late and only a couple miles from here..so it was ok.

as far as funny? ummm.. i'll have to think about that for a bit.

hope your day was good to you

SOUL said...

thanx charli--for the welll wishes--and the story.. i never saw that before.

laterz
hope you had a good day-

Cheryl said...

It's raining and pouring in Soul land, but not forever. Just for now and hopefully not too much longer. And don't you just hate it when you're forgetful in front of your kid? They make sure you feel stupid.

SOUL said...

hey cheryl---

no rain just very windy and cold-- sposed to get below freezing tonight-- it hit EIGHTY a day or two ago-- welcome to texas. :))

oh i dread winter-time.

and yes-- i hate givin the kid ammo-- but she already knows i have issues. :))

hope things are good out there with you and yours-

Blur Ting said...

I hope you could go for a vacation Soul. A much needed one!

SOUL said...

me too blur-- somewhere warm.. like florida--or maybe mexico-- too many doctors are takin my money tho-- maybe next year though.
hope you;re havin a good day-