ya know i heard an acronym a long time ago. because my main response to "how are you".. was always "FINE". sometime it would be "just fuckin fine." well... someone asked me once.. "do you know what "F.I.N.E." means? i said what? (yep-- i did have an attitude) she said...
"fine= fucked up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional.")
well. who knew? that fit. that was me. over time, it seemed to change. along with my answer to how are you. for a long time, my answer seemed to actually fit how i actually was feeling, at the time.
well... lately, i notice.. i don't say "fine" so much anymore.. but i do say-- the ever popular.. ok. but mainly-- "dandy.. or peachy" in an ever so sarcastic manner. well.. the ok-- i can pull off pretty well. but can't everybody?
anyways i just wonder , how many of us , are really honest when we're asked that question? and how many even really ask it out of true concern? is it just a reflex question. just a conversation starter? no one really wants to get into a conversation about someones truly shitty day or problems do they. maybe a spouse or best friend.. that's a given. i mean aside from that. the lady at the bank.. the checker at wally hell... who really gives a damn. and who always gives a damn.
pretty soon... it always gets back to-- fine. peachy. dandy. ok.
because .. you know, that in the real world-- other people have problems too. other people have problems bigger than yours. other people have problems bigger than YOU.
so then what?
what happens when you trip and break your damn face on the rug that you swept so much shit under for so long TRYING to be ok????
just askin.
35 comments:
Another definition of FINE: Feelings I'm Not Expressing.
I never use 'fine' as an answer to any question. I tell people how I am feeling: tired, delighted, pissed off, wonderful, happy, mellow, fantastic, naughty, and so on. I figure they took the time to ask me a question, I owe them an honest answer.
Next time you get groceries and the cashier grabs your bread and bananas to pass them over the scanner, she says to to "How are you today?" Be honest. I once said "pretty shitty." She stopped, looked at me, smiled and stated "you know me too!"
We both laughed and felt better.
As far as tripping over your own rug, that's your own damn fault. You are exactly what you think about.
I don't know what is going on this week, though I get the feeling everyone is struggling. Geez, I know I am!
Today, I'm going to turn this piss-poor mindset around. Enough is enough, I'm going to make 3 strangers smile today. Hopefully, they will do the same. And the happiness will casade.
Soul-How you feeling now?
There's "How are you?" and there's "How ARE you?" I think it depends on who is doing the asking. My neighbor Norma, oh I really can't stand the old battleax. I've learned to quit asking the question. Her answer is always about how she almost died last week or something. Crusty old broad, but I digress....
Oh, and I'll post the fishy pic later today, just for you! :)
i had to think about how i usually answer that.
"how are you?"
"i'm good, how about you?"
I guess I never say "fine" Never really thought about it.
I have been know to use a sarcastic "just fabulous' too
I did witness an old man chew out a cashier once for asking him how he was .
He yelled at her and everything, like "what you askin for , you don't care!"
One thing about the south is ,a lot of times the cashier will say "have a blessed day" instead of the usual"have a nice day"
and I LIKE that they are able to say that. blessed is better than nice any day. :)
Don't trip over your rug. And have a blessed day!
love me
angie---
i like your way of thinking--
and your acronym is much more appropriate-- and ladylike too :))
how am i feeling now?
you made me smile-- thanks..
even tho i did feel a bit scolded :))
sometimes i need a good kick in the ass though.
have a happy weekend.
and let me know if you succeed at the pay it forward smile thing.. k?
not that i'm a stranger so much.. but you only need to get two more to smile.
hey jess---
ya, there's how are you..and how ya doin.. too.
you're right-- who's askin, inflection, etc.
i haven't heard anyone say "ole battelax" in a while. :))
and i will be by later to see the fishy!
:))
have a great weekend.
oldy---
that happened with me once --remember-- the bank at the drive thru--in bakersfield--
it was me .... i went off on the lady when she asked me that----
she was stunned into silence.
maaan i'm a bitch.
you sure you weren't just thinkin i looked like a cranky old man???
:))
I've often thought the same thing..and if you've ever noticed when talking with someone, say they're going on a trip, and at the end of the conversation you say, "have a great flight!" And then they reply with, "YOU TOO!"
eh, I'm not going anywhere..nice reflex jack ass.
I've on bad days, really wanted to put that to the test, and say, "we'll, are you JUST asking because you're trying to be nice, or are you really asking? Because to be honest with you, my day has been shit today..how's yours? Thank you kindly for asking."
very thought provoking!
I'm cranky today because I'm still bummyrunny but with a craving for coffee which is the frustrating part. And we're supposed to take the boys sledding today, my idea, but I just want to be hidden today. but I can't with three little ones.
I'm tired.
BAH! Lets go get Portia...it's too lonesome without her fun posts! :)
Always,
Elizabeth
i know how that is crusty-- and i'm guilty of it too tho--- have a nice trip-- oh you too.
asshat!
is it learned behavior? self preservation? manners? wth?
i really do care how people feel. i care what happens in their lives--- but honestly-- i don't want to have a damn ten minute conversation with a stock boy at 7-11. know what i mean?
i don't.
anyhow-- do have fun if you go sledding--- and take pix.
i can look at snow all day-- just dont wanna be in it.
get well soon..
lotsa ppl seem to be sick lately-- damn snow ya know. that's where all the sick ones are-- snow country-
have a fun day
and drink some coffee... it's the cure all for everything bad
Well hell - how did I miss this?
I know what fine means, I think I wrote the book on it, well, along with you that is. :) I don't really use that word either, anymore. People ask me that all the time at work - "how are you today?" I usually answer "just swell" or "great" or occasionally "truly shitty" but when I say that, it's like they don't hear me, so that tells you that they only ask on remote...
Hope today you really are FINE!
And by that I mean - GREAT! WONDEFUL! AWESOME!
teehee
snort
:)
That damn rug. Hmmm. Maybe we could turn it over, sweep all the stuff onto it, roll it up and throw it out the door.
I hope you're ok today.
Hey I like Summer's idea....you get rid of all that shit and get a clean floor at the same time. Win/Win. Hey, hey!!!
I think we have just been conditioned to ask, it's like a conversation starter. People don't usually even listen to the response anyway. They switched off even before they finished asking the question has been my experience. Unless it's someone that does actually care about the answer and only then, will I tell them the honest answer. Even then I usually gloss it over. Otherwise, I just say, yep I'm really good thanks.
jamie---
i bet you do hear that alot---
i could NOT work with the public... among other reasons-- but especially THAT.. 100 times a day. when i did actually live amongst the living-- i heard and answered that--- with various responses
but the thing i hated --and still do-- the most-- was
SMILE!
omg---
have i mentioned i hate people?
anyways--- yes i know-- the F.I.N.E. book is one that hasn't collected dust around here... nor does it require glasses to read.
but hey----
i'm ok... you're ok
right?
that's a book too-- isn't it?
i hope you really do have a GREAT day as well.
i'm good summer-- and you?
that rug may be a little heavy-- but together we might be able to handle it--
or, maybe i can get yours and you get mine?
HEAVE--- HO-0O
hope you have a happy day
i agree gypsy--
so really,
how ya doin? :))
how are ALL of you doin?
if it's not good-- i do hope it gets better
if it is good-- i still hope it gets better
cuz life always has room for improvement, doesn't it?
hope everyone has very happy days today! (honestly)
Very often when I am feeling not fine at all and someone phones me and asks "How are you doing?" and I always say "Fine!" and grit my teeth. So dishonest :-P
yes blur-- it is dishonest--- but really, are we not taught by our own experience, that it is "safer" for us to respond "dishonestly", than it is to open ourselves to response of "i didn't really want to know".
i think so. but in the end.. i also think that over time, it becomes too natural a way to respond--- and does no good at all, for anyone-- who matters.
that's all i'm tryin to say.
i think.
have a great weekend.
When asked "how are you?" my standard answer is "Mean as ever!" No one expects that and it startles them if they are listening. I love it when they say, "So glad to hear it." just like a robot - they haven't heard a word I said. I'm not a fan of what I call non-questions - routine "I don't really give a dam" questions. When I ask I really want to know because I care.
I have to agree with Crusty here. We have been raised in a society of pre-programmed responses. You'd be surprised at the number of people who really don't even listen to what you say...they respond to what they THINK you've said because what they think you've said is basically what we've been programmed to hear. They ask "how are you"...they expect you say "fine" or "ok" and they respond accordingly. Sometimes just to throuw people off I've answered "not too good" and they say "good". LOL. Its actually quite funny.
At my part-time job, I answer the phones in the main office. I'm asked "how are you" about 100 times a day. So far I've been a good girl and answered appropriately....but its tempting to say "shitty" sometimes. LOL
Isn't it amazing how older people become so assertive that they say exactly what's on their mind? I think its great as long as its done without stepping on anyone's toes or being very rude. I've been the brunt of many ventings by the public...sometimes I respond with "I'm sorry you're having a bad day, but I didn't cause it, so please don't take it out on me".
Been thinkin' of you....haven't been online as much as I've been working more. Hope you're doing ok for realsies! Charlotte
In my line of work, when I ask someone how they are, it's the start of a conversation. I really want to know, and they tell me. And, I tell them, and they care. Another reason why I love my job.
maybe instead of an automatic "fine" we should repond to the question with a question..."how are you?" "why do you ask?" no? oh well... LOL ttyl.... i get your drift though... i feel the same sometimes and it is EXACTLY the question / answer type thing that the JP people here learn in ENglish...How are you? I'm fine..is the designated official answer...
still fluin
no sleddin
how's your Sunday?
I need to get posting, but am so crabby when I get sick..
me
Have fun with Jaime!!
You all really need this time!!!!
Love,
Elizabeth
Enjoy your lunch today. Wish I could be there too!
I pretty much answer, "Doin' alright" no matter how I'm actually feeling.
Do people really want to know all my problems?
Generally, no.
I don't mind, because I have certain outlets where I can express my true feelings (and my blog's not one of them).
You know that we love you no matter how you're doing, soul!
Soul, I did not intend to scold you. My apologies. I kick myself when I let b.s. build up under my rug. Hope your weekend was delightful. Angie
Aahhhhhhhh
I really know what you are talking about.
I used to answer, "oh shit, I'm not fine, I need some money, you have some money to lend me?"
People ran away from me!
So what happen for not answering fine?
No friend will be one!
Damn it!
Can't I be not-nice to people and still go to heaven?
Life sucks!
hi everybody!!!!
this turned out to be a more interesting thread than i thought it would be.
thanks :))
i hope y'all had great weekends!..
mine was "delightful" :))
i will post about it tomorrow
most of you already know that we drove out and met with JAMIE and her H !!
i'll tell ya bout it tomorrow.
g'night folks-
want to go get drunk together?
i buy.
meetcha half way motha!!
;))
well, how rude. i'm dying of suspense here.
go read my dumb meme.
luv me
Meeting you half way would mean driving for 30 hours?
That will only get me to Utah.
And I may be kidnapped by Mormons!
motha-- i just woke up a bit ago-- and my tired wsollen old lady eyes-- read--
i could be stolen by MORONS !!!!
(no offense to mormons of course_
but cmon.. even visual typos can be fyunny)
of course motha is always funny.
but again, motha-- wouldn't i be at the same risk??
could be a goood adventure!
perhaps.. we coupld open the ole coop on the way-- or whatever the hell it was callled. i got plenty of crap to fill it with. :))
i did read your meme--last night--
well most of it-- i'll look it over again after some coffay,
i do wonder tho-- where did you get the title for that?? did you mean hee haw? wth?
laterz
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