all dogs go to heaven ---

i found the pic i was lookin for
but it wasn't what i thought it was--
so here are two from the same day---

these were taken several years ago-
in kansas.
midnight was a chronic fence jumper, and runaway-
full of energy-
and she loved the water and swimming, and going on the boat.

these pix were taken on a day that we went camping.
it was a three day weekend,
and just may have been midnights happiest time of her life.
no leash, just running, swimming, playing.
everything that she loved. for three days.
i thought the pic above had her in it--
obviously-- i remembered wrong.
i wish she was in it.
but as bad as my memory is--
i remember this weekend...
i remember her swimming all the way across the lake -- a dozen times.
i remember me, swimming by her side .

that's all i can say for now.
she was a damn good dog.
(added-1-22-08)

Hi folks

…

I am writing this on Sunday night--- it’s about 730 ish. Debating whether I should post it now or in the morning. Guess I’ll figure that part out later.

Tomorrow is the “big day”. The big – BAD- day. Which just might be today, as you read this. Monday—at noon.

We will be taking Midnight to the vet. For the last time. She will be put to sleep, and hubby and I will sit with her til she’s gone.

Crusty suggested that we give soulkid a choice of rather she wanted to be there—or not.

She decided.. not. Which is fine. We understand, and really we think it is better that she isn’t there. I think it will not be easy, and I don’t think she needs to be “there” to say goodbye. But hubby and I will sit with her, til she’s “gone”.

Soulkid will be with a friend ; we don’t want her to be alone, and there is no school.

We had this discussion with her earlier today, and it did not go well.. but at the same time I guess it did. As well as can be expected I suppose. She never remembers NOT having Midnight. She has not lived in the dark, or been blind to Midnights’ illnesses or recent problems.. but she didn’t expect what she heard today. In fact, in the beginning, hubbby had a hard time getting it going, and she immediately looked at ME.. like I was sick and dying… she had tears in her eyes already--- damn. I hate that she has worried about my health so much these past few years, that this would be her first thought. As soon as I saw that look, I cleared it up right away, and told her that it wasn’t me—or her dad… she deflated….. hubby continued….

It was hard. That’s all I can really say about it. it was just a tough discussion. For all three of us.

Jamie (simonsays) had a really good suggestion a few days ago. It was more for me, but because soulkid wears her other dogs’ ID tag on a chain, (the one who was run over and killed in NM early in 06).. I decided to suggest it to her, and she likes the idea.

We are going to have Midnight cremated… and jamies suggestion was that I have a locket , with some ashes , sealed to wear on a chain. So--- I will do that—for soulkid.

Maybe for me too. Not sure yet. I have a locket that I have had for many years, but don’t wear, so, I just may do that too. But I will have to buy one for my girl. Guess I will let her go with me and pick it out later in the week. I don’t know.

It will take about a week to get the ashes back… which was a huge concern for me…I bet I asked ten times if it would be certain that they were Midnight’s ashes. She said yes every time. So I guess I will just have to believe that.

Then in a few weeks or when we have another warm day we will take her to the lake on the boat—and pour her ashes into the water. Soulkid hasn’t cared much to go on the boat for the past few years, so isn’t sure yet if she wants to go with us that day or not. So in that respect, I am glad it will take a while to get the ashes; so she can have time to think about it, and decide later.

Midnight always liked to go on the boat, and swim in lakes. swimming was her favorite thing.

When we were in NM, we lived about half a mile or so from a ditch that was like for irrigation—it was usually pretty full. Somehow midnight and chicklet found it on one of their little escapes. They ran away several times while we lived there--- almost every time they ran off—that’s where she would go—and chicky would follow. Swimming in the ditch. They ruined my car seats with friggin mud btw. I would always get so damn mad at those dogs--- but finding them was like finding a lost kid…. I just couldn’t stay mad. They were just being dogs.

Anyhow.. as for chicklet—the last time they ran away—Sonic.. down the street, was their next favorite place to go—trash digging… well, the road up near there, was a four lane highway and chicklet didn’t make it through the traffic. I was in Arkansas visiting my mom and sis. It was march 19. a very significant day in soulland.. before and moreso after.

So anyhow—midnight loves to swim. She always has. She risked her life and chickys to go swim in the ditch. And eat hamburgers. and I think that’s where she should “rest”. In the water that was such a big part of her life. And ours.

I have the perfect photo in mind for this post, but it may take me some time to hunt it down. I’ll find it though.

Well, I spose that’s about it. I just wanted to get that out. It has obviously weighed heavy on me for a while-- especially today.

I won’t be around for much of the day—I have an appointment at 9—then this one at twelve. I’m sure I’ll be ruined after that.

So I guess I’ll be around on Tuesday morning.

I hope you all have happy days in your worlds today---

I will try.

Well---- I have obviously decided to post this now. That way I may be less apt to re read it in the morning.