Tuesday, July 17, 2007

i'm alive...coulda fooled me

hi everybody!
thanks y'all... for all the well wishes, prayers , thoughts, encouragement... and hopefully that extra cup of coffee you drank for me today...because...for once, i didn't get a headache this time...so who is gonna take the credit for that one? :))

anyhow, i am home... i am alive...and it at this point seems that i will be staying that way. the good news is ...there is NO bleed. the bad news is... i have no idea why i feel so shitty. but anyhow...
let's back up shall we...?

we first get there, do all the papers etc... they didn't make me give them ANY money..WOO HOO. but i will get a bill...for 20 percent...of a still unknown amount. whatever. i like surprises...sometimes.

we got there at 730...got all prepped , vitals, etc, and set up in a room w/hubby for i don't know how long, not long really...they took me in at 945 for the scope. it's not done under anesthesia, it was demerol w / valium i think. which in a way is good... because i don't handle anesthesia well anyhow. BUT... i do have a high tolerance for "drugs". even though the strongest thing i currently take is friggin asperin. (not counting xanax)... so anyhow... one time before... many years ago, i had a procedure done, under this same type of drug...and i friggin woke up! i have literally and seriously been traumatized by that experience. so ever since then.. if i do things like this, i tell them... i have a high tolerance...give me extra. others have... apparently this guy did NOT. know why i know? because i woke up! i didn't know what the hell was goin on. i felt like i had a damn chainsaw in my throat! i choked and tried to pull back and get up, and spit the damn "thing" out of my mouth. i really could have caused him to injure me! i feel the nurses hols me down and someone push the thing back in my mouth...he's telling me he's biopsying my "something"... almost done. i don't care if he's almost done...that shit HURT.
now y'all know, i live every day of my damn life in some sort of pain... head, back, neck, stomach. tooth....name it... if it belongs to me, on one day or another the shit hurts. BUT THIS... OMG... it made me cry! i haven't cried due to physical pain in i can't remember when. maybe the breast lumpectomy may have made me cry. i don't remember. but this shit made me cry. but whatever he was cutting...or pulling..or ripping out of me, was almost finished, cuz it wasn't all that much longer before he did finish. but i still cried for a while. i was still crying even after they went and found hubby to bring in there. it SUCKED! and then they go on to tell me it's gonna be sore for another two to three days. LOVELY. i still have that novacaine feeling in my throat and still feel pain...not as severe of course..... but ... i am fearing the pain. ugh.

so anyhow... i was a cry baby. i still haven't had any coffee. or water for that matter. they said there was a choke risk, so i had to wait til... 11:50 to drink "sips of water"... BULLSHIT!... i'm havin coffee! i even started a pot as soon as we got home. so it would be ready and waiting. but hubby is being a stickler, i just asked him to bring me a cup...he says...it's not 1150..and you haven't had water yet. ooooh...i'm gonna make HIS throat hurt if he doesn't bring me coffee within the next three minutes! LOL

ok... rewind again... as for any results... i don't have any. except that there was no bleeding, and there was some sort of i don't remember how they said it... but my esophagus had been closing/closed??? so the did something to make it wider. (dialated?). that's all i know so far. oh he gave me a rx for something too. but i don't remember what. we dropped it off , hubby will pick it up later.

anyways... i'm falling asleep ... i better get off her. just wanted to check in.
hubby won't give me coffee..til i have my medicine. at first i thought...how mean..i'll kill you. then i took a drink of water. first one since last night. it hurt like hell. good hubby. now i fear HOT coffee in my throat, when cool water hurt me. i think i shall just go to sleep and attempt the coffee later on. maybe

laterz peeps
have good days

9 comments:

josie2shoes said...

Oh Soul, I am so glad this is over, but angry that they put you thru that much pain and anxiety. It should not have happened. Unfortunately this is not an unusual occurance. Next time you have something like this going on, have the doctor provide you a written order for more meds - so you can hand carry it to the tech assholes. Otherwise, they do what they damn well want to.

Not finding any bleeds is great news, uh I think. At least they gave you medication for something. When will you meet with your doc for results? In the mean time, PLEASE behave and take it easy! I hope you can rest up a little bit now. Your hubby is wonderful for taking such good care of you! One more hurdle conquered, somehow we always get thru it. But I'd like to strangle the idiot who didn't give you enough meds. Can I please, can I?

Anonymous said...

Well, good that the worst is over and that there was no bleeds...acid reflux or something? Who knows...but it's not life threatening and that in itself might make ya feel better. But yeah...shame on them for inducing pain??? What is this world coming too! I'd let Josie strangle the idiot for ya...but just can't imagine sweet ole' Josie strangling anyone...

SOUL said...

josie...don't worry...i am gonna make damn sure i get some kind of documentation that they better friggin double dose me if they ever expect to touch me under those or similar circumstances again! my gawd that hurt!

they did schedule a follow up, but i didn't even look at it..i haven't even gotten out of bed yet!

yes hubby is being a good dr today. to bad it's nt in me to "play dr" with him! :)

and YES please do go strangle them..all of them. shouldn't have happened. i told them i needed more drugs than the normal person. ugh. i don't know why that is. i don't drink or use drugs... but it's just that way.

yankee yes..i have GERD..had that for years..ulcers too..not life threatening . doc said he hasn't even got the ultrasound results yet..and he said "no news is always good news". so let's hope that's true in my case.

hmmm you can't imagine josie strangling anyone...somehow, i think i can. LOL if ya got her pissed enough.
take it ez

josie2shoes said...

Oh have I got JYankee fooled with my "nice ol' lady" outward appearance! LMAO Trust me Jyankee, I can be the screaming banshee from hell if I get pissed off, especially in situations where it comes to standing up for someone I care about! While I am normally a peace-craving person, hurt one of my friends and you'd better look out!!

SOUL said...

i'm the same way jos.
i am also awake...for the time being..will be cruisin blog land shortly.

Jamie said...

I am happy to hear that there is no bleeding going on but i have had ulcers and I know the pain they can cause. Waking up in the middle of that must have been terrifying. I am so sorry that happened to you. Tomorrow, you should feel a little better, and hopefully be able to enjoy your coffee. :)

SOUL said...

hi jamie! :)
it really was scary! come out of a deep damn coma like sleep to being TORTURED! i couldn't SEE anything. they had something over my eyes too. so that made it worse. it was awful...and painful...and it still hurts. :(
but thank you.
and yes , i do hope i can have my coffee tomorrow.. but i don't even want to think about it right now. OWIE.
i had to eat lukewarm ramen for dinner. oh yummay. NOT.
anyhow i'll be around soon

EE said...

So glad that the procedure is over for you, Soul. I can't believe that you woke up in the middle of it. You are a trooper!
Now that they've ruled out bleeding, what's next?

SOUL said...

hi E! i'm not sure what's next. just waiting on definitive results now. also a followup.. i STILL haven't looked at the papers they gave me! ugh. guess i should do that huh?
i shall keep ya posted tho.

hope you and yours are doing well
take care
ps.. i don't know about the trooper thing...i feel like such a cry baby!!! i hate this.