yes i would... what a morning already. this summer school shit is for the birds. this is only day two...and i'm nearing suicide !!!! or perhaps child abuse at minimum. my GAWD. i understand what a bummer it must be to be 13, and have to go thru this.... but why in the hell make it shit for EVERYBODY??? if this kid of mine would ride a bike, you could be damn sure, that's how she would be gettin her ass to school !!! why do i put myself through this???? i was younger than ten, setting my own bed time, my own alarm clock, getting myself out of bed, and to school... and home too !!! MY kid??? she has a clock...she knows how to set it...she just doesn't. why...cuz she knows i will make sure she gets up. BUT... i wake her up... and she doesn't get up... i get "i am" "i will" I'm up"... and in a not kind tone either. and it goes on for half an hour before her feet hit the floor. then i end up having to rush her, and remin d her of the time as she primps, and lally gags... and does whatever it is that she does. almost always making herself late. also, almost always starting our days in a argument.
well... this time around... with summer school... and she KNOWS this... tardies count as absences ... a kid can be absent TWO times during the entire term !!! sooo, she can be late... or absent , only TWICE.... or she will FAIL the entire seventh grade. over ONE class. ONE class and two hundred dollars !!!
YET.... she still wants to drag her ass, and fight with me in the morning. all i am doing is trying to get her to school. no one cared if or when i went when i was a kid. shit... my siblings barely even DID go !!! it's a miracle that I somehow managed to get myself motivated enough to go. not that i graduated... but that wasn't why...it was cuz we moved too damn much.
but anyhow. this morning was pure hell getting her, and to school. and was she late? YES. why was she late? NOT because i didn't get her up. NOT because i didn't remind her of the time, or tell her to hurry, or tell her a tardy is an absence and she would fail the 7th grade etc etc. nope. she just dragged her feet, and fought with me.
i am soooo pissed. i just can't put it into words. i am more pissed at the freakin laws they have about dicipline right now more than anything i think. i would never beat my kid. or abuse her. but damn if a good ass whippin now and then wouldn't have given her a whole different attitude at this stage in life. now, because i was afraid of CPS getting involved if i "spanked" her... UGH... we tried the time out, and the talks, and all the bullshit child psychology shit.... SO guess what? ya know who gets abused this past 15 years?? instead of the kids.... it's THEY who freakin abuse the parents!!! y'all just don't know how close i come to slappin that child. but nooooo. i've never laid a hand on her, never called her a bad name, nuthin. see where it got me???
my advice to any new parent out there... it's even in the BIBLE!!!! why doesn't someone show THAT to CPS>????
"spare the rod, spoil the child"
HOW TRUE THAT IS.
and once you get passed about 8 or ten years old with them.... it's too damn late! they know EXACTLY which buttons to push. they know exactly how far they can go with you. YOU become the victim...not the parent. and what can ya do? by then you're ready to let out ten years of pissed off rage because you feel like you failed as a parent... when actually, you probably did a damn fine job. you haven't hit them, or abused them, or ridiculed them.
but turn it around... and you've created a manipulative, controlling, soon to be young adult, who has been coddled and protected all their life. and you worry, "how will they function on their own? if at all?" and YOU are the one who gets shit on.
THANKS CPS. i hope your kids beat you up when they turn 15!!!
ugh. the age of pampering. time out my ass. i'm the one who needs a time out. forever!
well... there, now that i've had my rant for the day... i have like ten entire minutes before i get to go pick the little angel up from school. 200 dollars for 50 minutes a freakin day! it's a bunch of crap. all i can say, if this shit happens again...she is gonna be cleaning out gutters, and picking up dog poop for the entire summer!
oh...but before i leave you...this time...i will say... on the way to school this morning... she actually DID say "I'm sorry". and for once, it sounded sincere. it's rare that her apologies don't sound sarcastic.
i do get pissed at her...but y'all know i love her with all i am. and all i will ever be. she tries. ugh. i just wish i could go back and do things differently. this respect thing. and problem with authority. i just pray she will see that it is getting her NOWHERE.
well... i gotta go.
i shall return. hopefully in a better mood
laterz
6 comments:
50 minutes, why not bring a notebook and sit outside. reading, writing.... calm down or you'll have a stroke. I've had cousins who died from strokes in their 40's! I'm out of touch with kids, I know I couldn't handle it. Rachael and Will will tell you they have to behave here or they'll get a spanking. 8 grandparents, 2 parents and I'm the only one that punishes! Chris says 'It'll stunt their growth'. If you're here, you go by MY rules! I make them lie down for a nap and they'll say "DADDY' but he doesn't dare say anything. What an orge I am, huh? me
Soul, I know you love your kid tremendously, no doubt about that. I totally agree with you about the discipline, and firmly believe that little ones benefit from a good swat on the rear now and then. By the time they are older that isn't effective or appropriate. But it doesn't mean you don't still have time to take control. Kids SHOULD be responsible for getting themselves up every morning. The dragging them out of bed routine is terribly hard on moms, it becomes a tug of war. If she really wants to spend another year in the same grade just because she can't get her rear out of bed - let her! It would be a good lesson. And if she blows off the $200, by all means make her pay you back with chores and such. You can't and shouldn't go thru this each morning. It's stress you don't need. I am glad to read that she apologized though, it means she realizes she's the one who is responsible.
Anonymous' idea to spend the 50 minutes there (or maybe a nearby park or the pond?) rather than running back and forth for an hour is a good one. Maybe take your book?
One other thing.... when I said why not wait. Rocky is our baby, has never been treated like a dog. When I take him to the groomers, we have never wanted him to ever be put in a cage even for one minute. So, I wait. We set outside until she's ready for him. I can't stay inside or he'd not behave so I have to wait outside for the hour. It may be 15 degrees or the heat index may be 115, but there I have to stay. So, I'm not saying for you to do something I've not done. I read, write, call, do my checkbook, etc. Janice
not a bad idea janice.... in fact...my plan for this morning was to go fishing at the pond after i dropped her off. but i also had promised someone i would return an email. one that i really need to be alone to answer. too much concentration involved. so i came home, to answer the email...but was too frustrated to do it. so i blogged instead. what a pal eh?
but ya..jos, you said it too...go to the pond...well, that is what i figured i could do for that hour each day,instead of coming home. you can't really accomplish much in 45 minutes...other than sittin on yer butt. soooo . ya. but so much for that idea today. maybe tomorrow. i'll let ya know.
as for waiting in the car for an hour...i would go insane. i don't have the patience for that.
but anyhow, i'm still a bit stressed out, and don't feel like doin a damn thing anymore. i had my errands list made, and was rarin to go. BUT, now... i think i just may take a xanax, and go back to bed for a while. then i can start this entire day over. and i can only hope that i will feel better. cuz right now, i am on the verge of a stroke!
(midnight is dreaming! she's running and barking. she's so sweet.) i wish she was small enough to get in bed with me.
well, toodles peeps
Soul, you and I are so alike - when something bad happens we allow it to derail our whole damn day. It's hard to regroup and move on, I know. How about taking a trip to that pond for some fishing, just to give your mind a break. Or take a little rest if you need to, then try to tackle one thing on that list. You'll feel better if you feel like something was accomplished. Life will go on if we let it, the only one holding us down is ourselves.
Joeie two shoes, well said --- I especially like the last sentence. True, if you can do one thing it does make you feel better. I just got back from the scrapbook store. Bo called and asked if we were having lunch so I stopped and bought fish. I got carried away cutting stuff out. Fun and easy. I'm making 'His Life' for fathers day. Janice
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